2023

The soup-rice shop was near the hospital to begin with, so the walk back didn’t take long.

About ten minutes later, they took another crowded elevator up to the floor where Chen Yue’s mother’s ward was.

With so many people and so many eyes in such a small space, there was nowhere for all those gazes to go but to press in on one another. Chi Xiaoman had no choice but to keep her head lowered as much as possible, avoiding unnecessary eye contact with anyone in the elevator.

She had come in a hurry and hadn’t found a mask before leaving. All the way over, she had only managed to put on a cap.

It wasn’t that she had too much confidence in her own fame; someone had already recognized her in the elevator just now.

Though after she denied it, the other person hadn’t pressed further.

But if she were really recognized in the hospital, it might cause quite a bit of trouble for Chen Yue and Chen Yue’s mother too.

Chen Yue probably noticed how tense she was after they got into the elevator, because she very proactively stepped in front of her, blocking her from view.

Chen Yue herself was wearing a mask, and with her back turned to the others in the elevator, she hadn’t been recognized for now.

In a crowded place, the air naturally felt thinner and the temperature higher.

From the moment they started holding hands at the fruit shop to now, they still hadn’t let go of each other.

Held until now.

Chi Xiaoman felt like her palm was probably starting to sweat. Embarrassed, she slightly curled her fingers—

Not that she had any intention of letting go. She just wanted to quietly wipe her hand a little while Chen Yue wasn’t paying attention.

But Chen Yue seemed to notice.

So she didn’t let her slip away.

Instead, she tightened her grip on the fingers Chi Xiaoman had tried to curl up.

Chi Xiaoman blinked, a little dazed.

Chen Yue glanced down at her; the corners of her eyes curved in the elevator light, and the smile in them spread like the sweet syrup from the fruit they had just bought.

Chi Xiaoman still didn’t quite feel like she and Chen Yue had gotten back together. She lowered her lashes a little, shy and quiet.

She didn’t speak.

It wasn’t convenient to talk in the elevator anyway.

So Chen Yue didn’t speak either.

She only looked at Chi Xiaoman softly.

Chi Xiaoman knew she was looking at her. She felt shy, but after thinking it over, she felt she really shouldn’t still be at an age where she got embarrassed just because someone was looking at her. So she gathered her courage and looked back.

Chen Yue smiled. Her skin was very good, very smooth. But perhaps because she had been so tired lately, there was a faint tear trough under her eyes when she smiled.

Even that little bit of a tear trough was beautiful beyond compare. Looking into Chen Yue’s eyes, Chi Xiaoman thought that.

Chen Yue looked back at her too. For a long time. Then all at once, she reached out and very lightly touched Chi Xiaoman’s face.

Their hands were still linked.

So Chen Yue was touching her face with Chi Xiaoman’s hand in hers, curling her own fingers to brush the skin beneath Chi Xiaoman’s eyes.

There was no mole there, no tears, no redness.

It was a touch without any real reason.

Then, in a very low voice, Chen Yue said gently,

“This is so nice.”

Chi Xiaoman was being looked at by her, and for some reason her eyes started to sting again.

She felt she couldn’t hold Chen Yue’s gaze for too long.

So she turned her face away and carefully rested her cheek against Chen Yue’s shoulder.

Summer in 2024 was almost here, and the temperature had started climbing to the point where even holding hands felt sticky.

They had come to the hometown where Chen Yue grew up, and among two bowls of steaming hot soup rice, two candies that were hard to unwrap, and sweet-and-sour dried plum fruit, they made up again. They didn’t rush into anything more intimate; like two children who had regained love, they simply and secretly held hands in the elevator.

-

When they were almost at Chen Yue’s mother’s ward, Chi Xiaoman suddenly stopped and hesitated before speaking.

“Maybe, maybe I still shouldn’t go in?”

Maybe because the thought of seeing Chen Yue had occupied her mind for too long, by the time she actually reached the ward door hand in hand with Chen Yue, Chi Xiaoman only then belatedly remembered that Chen Yue’s mother might not like her very much.

She had disliked her from a long time ago. Not to mention now, when she was somehow dating Chen Yue for the third time.

It wasn’t that she wanted to avoid her elders; it was just that Chi Xiaoman felt now wasn’t a good time, especially since Chen Yue’s mother had just had surgery.

She wanted to explain it to Chen Yue.

But before she could, Chen Yue said first, “Okay.”

There wasn’t the slightest hint of questioning or demanding in her tone. “Then we won’t see her.”

Chi Xiaoman froze for a beat.

“It’s fine,” Chen Yue said softly. “Don’t overthink it.”

“But…” Chi Xiaoman glanced in confusion at the tightly shut ward door, then at Chen Yue’s eyes as they looked back at her, and said uncertainly, “Chen Tong jie jie, y-you… you won’t ask me why?”

Chen Yue smiled.

She suddenly reached out and touched Chi Xiaoman’s face again, just like before, still with no particular meaning. Just touching.

Then she looked at her gently and said slowly, “Xiaoman, let’s sit down first, then talk.”

There were two rows of blue seats against the wall outside the corridor. At this hour there weren’t many people to begin with, so they found two more secluded spots to sit down, unnoticed by anyone.

Chi Xiaoman looked at Chen Yue in silence and curled her fingers. She didn’t know what Chen Yue wanted to say to her, but after thinking about it, she felt there was no need for her to be this timid.

Looking back on everything that had happened over the past year, she knew she had been too timid, too petty, always full of worries… so that whenever problems came up, it was always Chen Yue trying her best to move closer to her.

No matter how badly she behaved, Chen Yue had never given up on her.

Then she…

Shouldn’t she also try to overcome a lot of fear and fragility for Chen Yue?

“Xiaoman.” Chen Yue suddenly called her.

“Mm?” Chi Xiaoman came back to herself. The clamor of the hospital corridor was like a film frame suddenly starting to move into the next shot; the noisy sound swelled at her eardrums. She turned her face and looked a little dazedly at Chen Yue. “Chen Tong jie jie, don’t worry, I—”

“You don’t need to do that.” Chen Yue cut her off abruptly.

Chi Xiaoman stopped mid-sentence, confused.

Chen Yue smiled at her. “I won’t ask you to like my mother. Because she’s a very stubborn person, and very easy to be prejudiced against people. We both know that. So I don’t want you to curry favor with her for my sake.”

“I…” Chi Xiaoman parted her lips, wanting to deny it.

But Chen Yue looked at her gently for a moment and softened her voice even more. “You bought her fruit, and you even asked the shop to package it so beautifully. But when you saw the dried plum fruit you were curious about and wanted to eat, you didn’t buy any for yourself.”

She lowered her gaze slightly. “And you’ve kept holding it the whole time, not putting it down, because you were afraid the hospital floor would dirty the packaging.”

Chi Xiaoman fell silent.

She couldn’t deny that from the fruit shop to the ward door, even though the walk wasn’t long, she had still insisted on carrying the prepared, somewhat heavy fruit basket the whole way, all the way until now, even after sitting down with Chen Yue.

It had all come from some subconscious impulse.

After a long while, she moved her fingers, which had been squeezed tight.

She also looked down at the basket of fruit in her hand.

She hesitated, wanting to put the basket down. But just before she let go, she stopped, feeling that putting it down now would be a little too deliberate.

Chen Yue probably noticed, because she took the heavy basket from her hand proactively.

Chi Xiaoman handed it over reflexively, and after letting go, she gave Chen Yue an awkward smile.

Chen Yue set the wrapped fruit basket on the floor, then took Chi Xiaoman’s other hand—

When they were buying fruit just now, the kinds Chi Xiaoman picked were basically all large, fresh, pretty ones that looked presentable. Maybe driven by vanity, or maybe by a bit of pride, she wanted Chen Yue’s mother to see that she was no longer that girl from ten years ago who had borrowed money from Chen Yue to get treatment, nor that girl who had received a call and, lacking both ability and backbone, still couldn’t bring herself to say, “I’ll pay you back right away.”

She was Chi Xiaoman. A superstar someone could see just by turning on the television.

For a second, when she was choosing fruit, Chi Xiaoman had even had this petty, competitive thought.

So she carried it the whole way.

The weight of the fruit had pressed her palm so red there were several deep marks from the strain; they stood out clearly.

Chen Tong took her hand and slowly brushed her fingertips over the reddened marks, very lightly.

“Chen Tong jie jie,” Chi Xiaoman said, looking at her, unable to stop herself from curling her fingers.

She wanted to pull away.

She wanted Chen Yue to never discover those petty, ungenerous thoughts of hers.

But Chen Yue held this hand too.

She enclosed both of Chi Xiaoman’s hands intimately in her own palms. The sweaty hand she’d been holding for a long time; the hand that had carried the fruit basket until the palm was red and swollen; neither mattered.

The corridor light flowed around them. Chen Yue looked into her eyes and said slowly, “Xiaoman, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What is it?” Chi Xiaoman tried hard to answer.

Chen Yue smiled at her. “I like you. I love you. I want to be with you. I want to keep eating meals with you like this, walking with you every day; all of that is only my own business, and has nothing to do with my mother.”

Her tone was soft. “In other words, when I get along with my mother, when I take care of her and keep her company while she’s sick, when I go back to see her during holidays and festivals, that will always and only be my own responsibility.”

Before Chen Yue said all this, Chi Xiaoman had always believed that everyone would hope the person they liked had a good relationship with their mother, and would do their utmost for that.

So if one truly liked another person, they had to accept everything about them, naturally including their family and their friends; they also had to handle their own relationships with those people well.

But today Chen Yue told her that wasn’t the case.

She told her clearly: the world didn’t work that way.

Chi Xiaoman felt a trace of helplessness.

She couldn’t help curling her toes.

And Chen Yue noticed immediately. Looking at the lashes that had fallen low over her eyes, she said slowly,

“I know you’re actually a little afraid of her, and I also know that in that phone call she accidentally made, she behaved terribly, which is why you’ve become so careful now.”

“That is completely her problem alone.”

“Because she’s not mature enough either. She has many flaws that I can’t even tolerate myself, because she’s never been willing to show patience toward me, or toward my friends, or my lover.”

“I’m her daughter; you’re the person I like. I will get angry because of what she says to you, and I will correct her behavior too, though maybe I won’t break with her over these things. All of that is my responsibility.”

“But you’re not her daughter.”

“And you never need to bear even a little responsibility toward her.”

Chi Xiaoman swallowed. She could feel Chen Yue gripping her hand very tightly, as if worried she would overthink it.

But in all honesty, Chi Xiaoman wasn’t feeling that lost about it. Rather, she had suddenly gained an extremely clear perception—since Neon had been set in motion, scenes like this had happened many times.

It was as if the gauze in front of her eyes had finally been lifted. She paused in this moment and looked back on the past, seeing clearly the scene again and again: the anxious, overthinking, uneasy Chi Xiaoman being led out of the labyrinth of uncertainty by the tolerant, guiding, mature Chen Yue, again and again, toward a place of safety.

People passed them intermittently in the corridor. Many shadows swept past in front of them.

Chi Xiaoman looked down and saw that the two shadows side by side were short and broad, like a cloud completely merged into one.

“Really, I don’t need to?” Chi Xiaoman couldn’t help asking, still confused. “If I don’t have any contact with her, won’t you be unhappy?”

“Mm, you don’t need to.” Chen Yue said it as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world. Then she freed one hand and gently cupped Chi Xiaoman’s face, her fingertips brushing the moisture at the corner of her eyes as she slowly said to her,

“If you don’t like her, if you’re afraid to be around her, if you feel uncomfortable in front of her,

“Then you can go your whole life without seeing her, or speaking a single word to her.

“And you don’t have to feel any guilt or unease because of it. You don’t need to feel sorry for me in any way either.”

She touched her face and looked at her in the light. “Because the one who’s with you is me.”

“Only me.”

With the light and shadows dim, Chi Xiaoman lifted her face slightly and looked at Chen Yue’s eyes beneath the brim of her cap.

Chen Yue smiled at her. “Xiaoman.”

Her gaze was accepting, her words clear.

“Did I make myself clear this time?”

-

It couldn’t have been clearer.

Chi Xiaoman thought that.

And she couldn’t help it; in the hospital with people coming and going, she hugged Chen Yue and said,

“Chen Tong jie jie, you’re such a very, very, very good person.”

Chen Tong hugged her back, patting her lightly on the back. “Then just love me, and that’s enough.”

When the word “love” came up, Chi Xiaoman didn’t feel it very concretely. To be honest, she still didn’t really understand what love was, or how to love someone in the most correct or best way. So she couldn’t judge whether, after hearing this, she should simplify something as huge as love into a simple “I love you” that could be said at any moment.

But Chen Tong didn’t seem to notice much.

In the quiet, she stroked Chi Xiaoman’s hair and said very slowly,

“I hope I can be better this time.”

“You’re already good enough,” Chi Xiaoman said. But she also felt she should keep up, so after a pause she said softly, “I hope I am too.”

There was one fact that could never be ignored—

This was their second reconciliation.

Going back and forth with the same person.

Once was already rare; let alone twice?

In all honesty, Chi Xiaoman hadn’t suddenly become hugely confident overnight, convinced that she was an outstanding, qualified lover, certain she could handle this rekindled relationship flawlessly, or firm in the belief that her future with Chen Yue would never run into any more problems. But perhaps because Chen Yue’s embrace that night had given her a great deal of courage, she didn’t feel too much panic about the unknown future for the moment either.

They hid on the blue seats in the hospital corridor and hugged for a while.

Chi Xiaoman wiped her eyes.

Then said, “Then I won’t go in yet. Can you take the fruit basket in for me?”

“Okay.” Chen Yue didn’t refuse.

She came over to wipe Chi Xiaoman’s eyes too. After that, she cupped her face again and looked at her very carefully for a while, the corners of her eyes curving. “Your eyes are still red.”

“Mm…” Chi Xiaoman didn’t deny it. She sniffled. “I’ll go buy a boiled egg to press on them later.”

“Okay.” Chen Yue agreed, and then wiped the moisture at the corners of her eyes again.

“Then I’ll take your fruit basket in to her first.”

She withdrew her hands from Chi Xiaoman’s face and said, “You can eat the fried rice cakes outside first.”

“Okay.” Chi Xiaoman nodded.

It was late at night, and the light was dim. After Chen Yue stood up, Chi Xiaoman sat a little stiffly on the seat, sneakily checking the fried rice cakes and dried plum fruit in the plastic bag; the way she did it was very cute.

Even the shadow cast on the floor was cute along with her.

So before going in, Chen Yue couldn’t help stopping to watch her for a long time.

Chi Xiaoman seemed to sense it. She paused in the middle of opening the dried plum fruit and looked up at Chen Yue. “What’s wrong?”

Chen Yue smiled.

Then she walked back over and reached out.

She helped Chi Xiaoman open the box of dried plum fruit that had been stapled shut, and helped her spear the accompanying fork into it.

Every detail, one by one.

She acted as if Chi Xiaoman were incapable of taking care of herself.

It might have seemed like an offense.

But Chi Xiaoman didn’t resist it at all. She obediently waited for Chen Yue to finish and hand it to her, then said, “Thank you.”

But she still didn’t hurry to eat it.

She remained very polite.

Chen Yue carried the fruit basket and looked at her for a while. “Do you want me to say that this was a gift from you?”

Chi Xiaoman thought seriously for a moment, then finally said, “You should still tell her. That should be fine.”

“Okay.” Chen Yue agreed.

She was about to turn and go into the ward.

“Chen Tong jie jie.” Chi Xiaoman suddenly called after her.

“Mm?” Chen Yue turned back immediately.

Chi Xiaoman seemed not to have expected her to turn so fast; her expression was still a little surprised. But very quickly, she reacted, and a little flusteredly spear-poked a piece of guava from the box she was holding, offering it to her. “Do you want to eat a piece first?”

She looked up slightly at Chen Yue, and the way she did it was very cute. Her eyes were red, a little wet.

The guava piece she picked was perfectly shaped, probably the prettiest and juiciest one in the whole box.

Chi Xiaoman was always like this.

She always found the best of what she had to give to Chen Yue.

Chen Yue couldn’t refuse.

She bent slightly to bite the fruit Chi Xiaoman offered her.

Because of that, the hair she had tucked behind her ear slipped down.

It fell by her face.

A little itchy.

Chen Yue herself didn’t move it.

Chi Xiaoman deliberately paused for a moment.

As if noticing she still hadn’t fixed it, she couldn’t help but carefully tuck Chen Yue’s hair back up for her.

Her finger accidentally brushed Chen Yue’s ear.

The touch was a little soft.

She quickly drew back.

Then she looked at her as if changing the subject. “Is it good?”

“Mm, it’s good,” Chen Yue said, then straightened up. “I’m going in first.”

“Okay.” Chi Xiaoman nodded, holding the fruit box.

Chen Yue didn’t linger any longer. She knew that Chi Xiaoman probably wanted very much to stay with her a little longer.

But that kind of wanting probably meant that even if Chi Xiaoman fed her every piece in the fruit box, she still wouldn’t feel satisfied.

So she could only push open the door and finally go into the ward to check on Chen Xiaoping. Her cousin was still keeping watch by the bed inside. Seeing Chen Yue come in, she smiled. “Did you finish handling things?”

“Yes.” Chen Yue smiled back. “I may need to trouble you to watch over her a little longer. I’ll come back in a bit.”

“Okay.” Her cousin nodded, smiling reassuringly at her. “It’s fine.”

“I’ll come back early, so you won’t have to keep the night watch,” Chen Yue said.

“It’s fine,” her cousin said. Then she looked at her for a while. “Tongtong.”

“Mm?” Chen Yue was checking Chen Xiaoping’s IV status; when she saw that her cousin wasn’t continuing, she looked up again—

Her cousin looked at her, shook her head, and said nothing more. “It’s nothing.”

Chen Yue moved her lips.

Her cousin smiled. “Go take care of your own things first. Come back later and relieve me.”

“Okay.” Chen Yue naturally also hoped to come back as soon as possible so that her cousin could go home earlier, so she didn’t press further.

When she came back out of the ward—

Chen Yue saw Chi Xiaoman sitting very obediently on the seat. She hadn’t eaten much of the fruit, the fried rice cakes were gone, but she hadn’t thrown the trash around either; she had still neatly gathered it up and put it aside.

“Don’t you like the fruit?” Chen Yue walked over.

Chi Xiaoman might have been thinking about something and hadn’t noticed her coming out. She lifted her face in some confusion and looked at her for a moment before smiling.

“It’s good.”

“Then why did you only eat a few pieces?” Chen Yue couldn’t help asking.

Chi Xiaoman pressed her lips together. “I wanted to eat the fried rice cakes first.”

Chen Yue’s movements stilled.

“I haven’t had them in so long,” Chi Xiaoman said with a smile.

Maybe she hadn’t meant it deliberately, but her voice still sounded like she was acting spoiled.

Chen Yue, however, felt an inexplicable sadness because of it. She looked at Chi Xiaoman’s side profile and suddenly felt sorry for that time long ago on a Beijing set, when she hadn’t managed to buy Chi Xiaoman fried rice cakes.

“Chen Tong jie jie, how is your mom?” Chi Xiaoman probably didn’t know what she was thinking; she asked with concern, “Why did you come out so quickly?”

“She’s fine, probably asleep. I put the fruit basket in there, and I’ll tell her tomorrow after she wakes up that it was from you,” Chen Yue explained.

“Okay.” Chi Xiaoman nodded.

“Xiaoman.” After a pause, Chen Yue called her.

“Mm?”

“Where are you staying tonight?” Chen Yue asked.

That was something Chi Xiaoman hadn’t thought about before coming. She considered it and said, “I’ll just find a hotel on this side. Don’t worry about me.”

“Hotels aren’t very safe,” Chen Yue said simply. “Do you want to stay at my place?”

“Your place?” Chi Xiaoman reacted half a beat later. “Is it… your home from when you were little?”

“No.” To Chi Xiaoman’s surprise, Chen Yue denied it.

As if afraid she might feel burdened, she added,

“It’s a house I bought after I moved out on my own. You can stay there with peace of mind.”

“Don’t worry, nobody else will suddenly go back there except me.”

“You live there alone? Doesn’t that count as an independent private space or something, like one of those places where you don’t want other people to disturb you…” Chi Xiaoman scrunched up her nose, her tone uncertain. “Would it be bad for me to go over?”

Chen Yue smiled.

Chi Xiaoman didn’t really understand what she was smiling at, and awkwardly scratched her chin.

“Xiaoman.” So Chen Yue called her again.

“Mm?” Chi Xiaoman answered.

“Have you still not fully reacted to it?” Chen Yue asked, the amusement in her tone very obvious.

Chi Xiaoman blinked in confusion, and when she met Chen Yue’s smiling eyes, she suddenly understood what she meant—

They had already made up.

But even now, Chi Xiaoman’s behavior in front of Chen Yue didn’t seem all that different from before.

“Chen Tong jie jie, I’m sorry.”

After thinking it over carefully, Chi Xiaoman felt that aside from hugging and holding hands, she had still seemed rather distant from Chen Yue tonight, and apparently hadn’t really faced the fact that their relationship had changed. So she pressed her lips together and apologized earnestly, “It’s just… I’m not really used to this yet.”

“Mm, it’s fine.” Chen Yue looked at her, her tone generous. “Taking your time to get used to it is fine too.”

Chi Xiaoman was stunned for a moment by that sentence. Because she suddenly realized that ever since they’d reconnected, Chen Yue had kept saying this to her, never stingy with her tolerance and respect.

After a few seconds of eye contact.

She knew it was probably really fine, so she smiled at Chen Yue. “Okay.”

Then she let out a breath.

To be honest, she really couldn’t imagine that she would actually reconcile with Chen Yue again like this. It felt like a dream she had during the wrap night of Neon—

Or maybe she had simply always been that timid Chi Xiaoman, and had never once boarded that plane to look for Chen Yue?

“But some things really are better said out loud.” Chen Yue said. She also observed Chi Xiaoman’s expression—

“What?” Chi Xiaoman hadn’t caught on.

She was still, just like before, holding that large fruit box and looking at Chen Yue from the side.

She seemed to regard this box of fruit as Chen Yue’s heavy love, and after Chen Yue went into the ward, she had made up her mind that unless given permission, she wouldn’t put it down on her own.

Her appearance had changed a great deal compared with ten years ago, but the way she looked at her now was exactly the same as that girl from ten years ago, carrying flowers and secretly following behind Chen Yue.

Even though their first reconciliation hadn’t ended well, she had still bravely chosen to say yes to Chen Yue a second time.

So Chen Yue also wanted to learn from the failure of that first reconciliation ten years ago. In fact, for ten whole years, Chen Yue had kept asking herself again and again where she had failed, and she had always hoped to learn from that failure and appear before Chi Xiaoman in a more perfect, more mature form.

That question and self-check had never once stopped in her mind.

As if there was still a switch there.

Hanging unresolved.

Press it, and she could go find Chi Xiaoman.

Walk away, and she could put Chi Xiaoman down.

But she simply did nothing and remained where she was.

Until Chi Xiaoman sent her a signal through Neon. Until Chi Xiaoman was admitted to the hospital. Only then did she board that plane and allow herself to go to Beijing to look for traces of Chi Xiaoman. After that, things happened even faster; the changes in Chi Xiaoman made her ignore the fact that she hadn’t fully prepared yet, so she never thought she might repeat the same mistake later and make Chi Xiaoman work so hard to run around the hospital with her.

But by now, Chen Yue believed the problem was already very obvious. Ten years ago, Chen Tong had simply lacked expression, always hesitating, and had grown used to avoiding conflict; rather than truly facing things, she preferred to leave them hanging.

The Chen Yue of ten years later still didn’t trust Chi Xiaoman enough, often misreading her as an unreliable, perpetually fragile coward, repeatedly pushing her away under the name of “protecting” her whenever difficulties arose.

But.

Since the problems were already so obvious, Chen Yue thought she should actively correct them.

She took Chi Xiaoman’s hand again, and when Chi Xiaoman blinked at her in confusion, she smiled.

Then called her, “Xiaoman.”

“Huh?” Chi Xiaoman responded, very lost as to what she was about to say.

Chen Yue rubbed the fine lines of her palm.

And said slowly,

“My life can fully contain your presence; my space is completely open to you.”

She tried to make every word clear.

“Because from the moment I saw you in the elevator just now, I already treated you as my lover.”

Chi Xiaoman’s eyes widened.

It was as if she was frightened by how direct those words were.

Even the fingers Chen Yue held so tightly shrank back in alarm.

As if wanting to pull away.

But then she felt that wouldn’t be right, so she remained awkwardly tucked into Chen Yue’s palm.

Chen Yue found her reaction very cute.

“You don’t need to feel pressured about this, and you can still be unaccustomed to it.”

“And you also don’t need to think that because you heard me say this, you must respond to me in exactly the same way.”

Chen Yue had never thought she would bare herself to this extent in front of anyone in her life. Because to her, baring herself meant exposing her wounds and placing herself in a weak position to be judged and scolded.

“But I may express this to you many times in the future.”

Yet that day, looking into Chi Xiaoman’s eyes, she realized she was smiling as she said these words.

“Until you get used to it.”

Perhaps in truth it was the exact opposite; from beginning to end, it had always been Chi Xiaoman who kept giving her more and more of a sense of safety.

[Author’s Note]

Updated Little Neon on time for the sixty-fifth day