Chapter 88

A meeting that was meant to mend things had ended in disaster.

Some things were judged by conduct, not intent; arguing only poured oil on the fire.

Besides, once a mirror shattered, even if you pieced it back together, the cracks would still be there. It could never be whole again.

Lin Baixin couldn’t stay there. Circumstances had turned; now it was Yu Min who no longer wanted to keep her there.

By the time they reached the parking garage, the string in Lin Baixin’s mind, stretched tight to the breaking point, had already reached its limit. Once she got into the car and bent over, it snapped with a dull pop. At times like this, she had always been terrible at talking. Just like last time, whenever she faced Yu Min, she couldn’t find the right words—words that might ease the conflict, or even make the other side soften a little. Even that was hard.

Clearly, she wasn’t like this with other people.

She had made full preparations before coming, but the result was less than one ten-thousandth of what she had expected. Everything had gone the opposite way, completely against the current, and become even more out of control.

Her face was still pale; she looked stiff and numb all over. After getting in the car, she sat motionless for a long time. Only after the car in the neighboring spot had started up and driven away did she finally hunch over, cover her face with both hands, rub at it slowly twice, and let out a helpless, long breath.

It was very late when she left this place; it was nearly midnight. The road on the way here had been a stream of traffic, but the return trip was clear all the way. The bustle and prosperity had receded into quiet; everything was no longer noisy.

At the same time, upstairs in the residential building.

Yu Min was still sitting on the sofa, not having moved a single step.

Her phone, tossed on the coffee table, had lit up with several messages and taken a couple of calls in the meantime; she ignored all of it. The buzzing vibration went on and on. Her expression remained blank until irritability finally rose like a tide; only then did she snatch up her phone. She still didn’t answer, though; instead, she powered it off.

The call was from Jiang Zhou. The messages had politely asked whether she wanted any local specialties. When Yu Min didn’t reply, Jiang Zhou thought she was busy, so she waited an hour before calling.

At this hour, even if she were working overtime at the hospital, she should have had time to answer. Yu Min didn’t pick up and even turned her phone off, so Jiang Zhou on the other end must have realized something was wrong. But since she was out of town and couldn’t rush over in time, even if she suspected something, she could only worry helplessly and wait for daylight.

The following day was a compensatory day off; no work.

Jiang Zhou and her girlfriend Tang Pei landed at eleven in the morning and came straight here. Dragging two oversized suitcases, they entered the neighborhood, pushing the luggage along as they hurried upstairs as fast as they could.

After getting in with the fingerprint lock, Jiang Zhou had already braced herself for bad news. Yet once inside, things were unexpectedly peaceful.

The Yu Min who had “disappeared” for a night was sprawled crookedly on the sofa, asleep, with nothing covering her. At a glance, she looked as though she had spent the night there.

With such a huge racket when they came in, she still hadn’t woken at first. Jiang Zhou was furious; she had worried all night for nothing. She walked over and shoved Yu Min a couple of times before Yu Min finally stirred awake. When she saw the two of them had come back, she looked genuinely puzzled. “Why are you back? Weren’t you coming back tomorrow?”

“If we didn’t come back soon, I was afraid the sky would fall,” Jiang Zhou snapped. Her impatience left no room for restraint. “What is wrong with you? I called you last night and your phone was off. What were you doing, trying to cut ties? You had me thinking something happened to you. Is answering a phone call going to kill you? What’s wrong with you?”

Yu Min looked a little disheveled and in poor shape. Her shoulder-length hair hadn’t been tended to, so after sleeping it was a mess, the ends flipping up. She rubbed the bridge of her nose twice. She had been tired from work yesterday and had slept late, so after waking she felt exhausted to the point of misery. Her eyes could barely open. She gave a faint yawn. “Nothing happened. I had my phone on silent yesterday, and it ran out of battery.”

She hadn’t charged it after a full day at work, and she hadn’t charged it again when she got home. The excuse was airtight and perfectly reasonable.

Jiang Zhou picked up Yu Min’s phone and pressed the screen, but it didn’t light up. Half believing, half doubting, she immediately lost much of her temper, though she still wasn’t fully reassured. She asked again, “Then why were you sleeping on the sofa? There’s a bed in the room and you don’t sleep in it; are you self-destructing?”

“I was a little restless. I watched TV very late last night, and when I got sleepy later, I just made do here. I was too lazy to go back to the room.”

“You really are hopelessly lazy. It’s only a few steps away; what’s the big deal?”

“I was afraid that if I got up, I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again.”

“Oh, I believe you.”

With the question thrown back at her, Yu Min pretended not to understand. “How was your trip? Did it go smoothly?”

“Just so-so. Not that fun. We won’t go again next time,” Jiang Zhou said. “It was hot over there; it’s not even as good as staying here. What a suffering.”

Yu Min turned to ask Tang Pei too, shifting the topic as if nothing were wrong.

Anyone could tell something was off with her. Even her voice was hoarse. There was no way she was fine, but she clearly intended to hide it. Jiang Zhou and Tang Pei could probably guess it had something to do with someone; otherwise, even if the sky were falling, Yu Min wouldn’t blink. It was enough to confirm she was all right; they didn’t need to get involved in anything else.

Since they were already here, they might as well stay for lunch before leaving. It was rare to get a day off, and Jiang Zhou had been running around for several days without feeling tired; after some forceful persuasion, she dragged Yu Min out to eat at a trendy restaurant she’d bookmarked. Eating hospital cafeteria food and takeout all day long was so unhealthy, especially for a medical student. No matter how big the world was, health came first. Since it was a holiday, they had to have a good meal to treat themselves.

Trendy food looked nice, but it wasn’t filling. Yu Min had always been indifferent to that sort of thing. Sitting there for two hours eating a few tiny plates of minuscule side dishes was torture; it would be better to just have a bowl of noodles.

“You’ve been completely corroded hollow by medicine. You don’t understand real life anymore. This is called enjoyment; how can noodles compare?” Jiang Zhou said. “Look at how pretty it is. Eat slowly. We’re not in a rush. Taste it a few more times. Don’t just shove it in your mouth and swallow it whole.”

Yu Min had long since stopped being particular. She didn’t listen and downed it all in one bite, which made the veins at Jiang Zhou’s temple jump. She could hardly stand her lack of appreciation for the finer things.

Fortunately, Tang Pei was cut from the same cloth as Jiang Zhou. The two of them were a perfect match. For a tiny dish, Tang Pei would chew slowly and could spend half the day on one plate.

The more Jiang Zhou looked at her own girlfriend, the more pleasing she found her; as for Yu Min, she “disliked” her more and more. Her original impression of Yu Min had shattered to pieces. Back then, she had even thought Yu Min would be the gentle, refined type like Tang Pei. Who would have expected it? In the past two years, Yu Min seemed to have mutated. She had rushed headlong down the road of “giving up on herself” and never looked back.

Still, Yu Min was an absolutely wonderful friend. Jiang Zhou was due for another round of injections this month. She cared about appearances, and her monthly spending on her face was huge. Yu Min happened to know a doctor who was always booked solid and had already gotten Jiang Zhou a spot to jump the queue. She could go straight in without making an appointment or waiting.

Jiang Zhou was thrilled; she almost wanted to hug Yu Min, but with her girlfriend watching beside her, she awkwardly pulled back. The lesson from the last two times still hadn’t ended, and she absolutely couldn’t repeat it now.

The previous two times had been Jiang Zhou just messing around. At the time, Yu Min hadn’t said anything, and Jiang Zhou had misunderstood her meaning. She had wanted to stir things up a bit and, back then, she and Tang Pei weren’t officially together yet. The two of them were already living together, but they still hadn’t settled things. Jiang Zhou had also wanted to take the chance to provoke someone and push things forward.

Now Tang Pei had finally figured things out, but the other two were even more unable to get off the hook, and the whole thing had become rather awkward. Jiang Zhou felt she’d done Yu Min wrong, so she turned around and hugged Tang Pei instead, openly showing off their affection. Once she had her arms around her, she wouldn’t let go, continuing to laugh and joke.

“You really are fine?” Later, Jiang Zhou was about to leave again. She waved a hand in front of Yu Min’s eyes. “Should we stay two more days and keep you company?”

Yu Min didn’t need that and urged her on. “Hurry up and go. Tuanzi is still at home. If you don’t go over there, are you not planning to keep the cat anymore?”

The moment Tuanzi was mentioned, Jiang Zhou remembered she really had gone there to feed the cat. Since someone else was taking care of things, she had nearly forgotten about it. Suddenly remembering Tuanzi, she sprang up at once and pulled Tang Pei along as they quickly ran off.

The apartment soon returned to quiet. Yu Min went into the room and immediately lay down to catch up on sleep.

Once she fell asleep, she didn’t even eat dinner. She slept until the next morning; more than ten hours, deeper than unconsciousness.

The next day at the hospital, the entire day passed from morning to night, and no one came again. Everything returned to normal. The dermatology outpatient clinic was still the same as ever, patients coming one after another, and it wasn’t until around five or six in the afternoon that they finally finished seeing everyone on the list.

Just as she was about to get off work, her junior came over, patted Yu Min on the shoulder, and asked in a low voice, “Senior, where is she? Why didn’t she come today?”

Yu Min feigned ignorance. “Who?”

“Baixin-jie,” the junior said. “Didn’t she say she was coming today? Last time she even said she’d buy us milk tea. I’ve been waiting all day.”

“I don’t know.”

“Aren’t you two acquainted? You’re so familiar. She always comes to see you. Didn’t she tell you if she wasn’t coming?”

“No.”

“Well, maybe something came up; maybe she had to work.” The junior muttered, but after thinking it over, she felt it didn’t make sense. “No, that’s not right. She should have come to the hospital. Baixin-jie still needs to change her dressing today; she can’t not come.”

The junior wasn’t hung up on that cup of milk tea. She was just thinking of Lin Baixin. She had freeloaded off Lin Baixin so much, and today she had even specially brought her homemade spicy potato chips. She had planned to give them to Lin Baixin, but it felt awkward to text her directly and ask, as if she were pressuring her. Who knew she would wait all day and still not see her? That was why she came to ask Yu Min.

“Why don’t you help me bring these to Baixin-jie? Otherwise I’ll have to take them back, which is such a hassle.” The junior tugged at Yu Min’s sleeve. “Oh, I almost forgot, Senior, you have some too. I remembered you; both of you get a share. I made these especially for you two so you could try my specialty.”

Yu Min deliberately seized on the point. “Spicy potato chips are a dish?”

“Yes, I count them as one,” the junior said with a smile.

Yu Min didn’t help the junior deliver them. She only took her own portion; if the junior wanted to send the rest, she’d have to figure it out herself.

“What are you doing? Senior, why are you being so heartless? Aren’t you two really familiar? Just take them over for her; it’s no trouble.”

“We’re not familiar.”

The junior let out an “ah,” stunned by those words. For a moment, she even thought her ears were malfunctioning.

“You’re still not familiar? If this doesn’t count, then what does?”

Yu Min didn’t answer. She turned and walked away. Her work still wasn’t finished; she had to work overtime today.

For a full week after that, no one else came to dermatology. Even Cui Zhen, who usually cared only about work, asked about Lin Baixin once; not to ask why Lin Baixin hadn’t come, but to ask how Lin Baixin’s burn was healing.

No one knew. They would have had to go to the burn department and ask.

The quarrel hadn’t overly affected Yu Min’s life. Aside from the first few days, everything afterward settled back into its original, dead-still state.

Work, off work, and occasionally back to school.

Her life was as regular as a student’s could be; even more so than when she had been in middle school. It was like being locked in a cage, unable to break out of this small patch of sky and earth, forever turning in place.

In these past two years, Zheng Qing’s annoying phone calls had been few and far between. Since moving out, Yu Min had practically severed contact with Yu Shengyu’s side, and things with Zheng Qing weren’t all that peaceful either.

It had always been Zheng Qing giving in. If Yu Min didn’t want contact, didn’t want to answer calls or meet, Zheng Qing would consciously keep her distance and maintain an appropriate gap.

This time, when Zhou Jin came to Kyoto, Yu Min met him alone. Zhou Jin told her that Zheng Qing had found someone. This time it was a proper middle-aged romance. The man treated Zheng Qing quite well; he was a teacher, steady and dependable, completely unlike the scum Zheng Qing had dated before.

Yu Min didn’t care who Zheng Qing was seeing; neither opposed it nor supported it. That was Zheng Qing’s freedom.

Zhou Jin had first gone to see Lin Baixin, and he also told Yu Min about it. He had long since figured out what was going on between them, though his tolerance was high. He wasn’t surprised at all that Yu Min had those feelings for Lin Baixin. Everyone had seen clearly what kind of life Yu Min had lived before. Lin Baixin had pulled her out of that quagmire, so it wasn’t strange at all that Yu Min’s feelings would change. Zhou Jin simply found it difficult to understand how the two of them had ended up like this.

Many things were not for Zhou Jin to interfere in. At most, he could say a few words and tell Yu Min that Lin Baixin had seemed in pretty bad shape the day she came out to eat.

After Zhou Jin left, Yu Min called Zheng Qing once. The last time mother and daughter had spoken on the phone had been three or four months ago. Zheng Qing answered instantly, and the joy in her voice couldn’t be hidden.

Zheng Qing still didn’t dare tell Yu Min about the person she’d found. She had no idea Yu Min already knew. Afraid of slipping up, Zheng Qing kept worrying until Yu Min made it clear she was already informed; only then did Zheng Qing relax and stop pretending. A moment later, she said weakly, “Don’t be angry with Mom. I didn’t mean to hide it from you.”

“I’m not angry. It’s not that serious.” Yu Min hadn’t called to question that; she had something else in particular to say.

Zheng Qing immediately breathed a huge sigh of relief. As long as she wasn’t angry, that was fine.

But what Yu Min said next was worse than anger.

—There were still more than six months until graduation. Yu Min had already made plans for the future: she would return to Jincheng and open a shop with Zhou Jin. She wouldn’t work in a hospital. She was going to give up eight years of hard-won study.

“I thought I should tell you about this, let you know earlier,” Yu Min said quietly. “I don’t want to be a doctor. I have no intention of doing that.”

Zheng Qing was stunned on the spot, completely shell-shocked. She didn’t understand why Yu Min would do this.

Yu Min answered straightforwardly, “Because I don’t like it.”

.

Half a month later, the dressing changes no longer needed to be so frequent. Lin Baixin’s injury healed better than expected. The doctor gave another guarantee that, from the looks of it, it wouldn’t leave a scar; she could rest easy.

But Lin Baixin no longer cared about that. She only listened to half of the doctor’s instructions on what to watch for and how to take care of it afterward. Once she left the hospital, Lin Qi came to pick her up.

Things had been delayed in Jincheng, and Lin Qi had come back late. If she had known earlier that Lin Baixin would meet with Yu Min, Lin Qi definitely would have bought a ticket and flown back overnight. Who would have thought that the two of them could make things even more irretrievable? Lin Qi practically regretted it more than the person involved.

Afraid of upsetting Lin Baixin, Lin Qi kept her mouth tightly shut this time and didn’t babble. After bringing her back to the shop, she didn’t take a break and immediately got back to work on things there.

There was a meeting at the shop today, a sales training session hosted by Gu Yue, who had just returned from outside study. Lin Qi was there to listen, and Lin Baixin, as the owner in charge of the main shop, had turned into a hands-off boss.

Later, Lin Qi also went up to say a few words, all of it nonsense; once she finished, she handed out this quarter’s bonuses, which thrilled the staff.

“Hey, I’m saying, can you rein that look in a little?” After the meeting, Lin Qi couldn’t hold back anymore and had to say something to Lin Baixin. “We’re still in the shop, and even if you don’t need to work, at least do it in front of people. Don’t make it so obvious, okay? Keep this up and no one’s going to miss that you’ve got something going on.”

Lin Baixin hummed in acknowledgment. She listened, but she didn’t change.

Lin Qi’s mouth was always too quick. As soon as she opened it, out came, “You look like a little girl who just got dumped.”

She had said it quieter than a mosquito’s buzz, but Lin Baixin still caught it with her sharp ears. Looking at her, Lin Baixin parted her red lips and answered softly, “I’m just... worried about her.”

“She’s not a child. What’s there to worry about?” Lin Qi was blunt and straightforward. “Besides, isn’t it a little late to worry now? You’re just making yourself miserable.”

That was true. It was pointless; she really was making herself miserable.

“Now it’s only the two of us. I’m asking you, so tell me the truth. Don’t lie.” Lin Qi leaned closer, her upper body angling this way as she stared intently at Lin Baixin’s face. “Are you hurting right now?”

Lin Baixin didn’t speak. She didn’t want to talk about it.

Avoidance was the same as guilt. Lin Qi raised her brows and immediately understood.

“What a shame. If it hurts, there’s nothing you can do about it now. Do you know what you were doing back then?” Lin Qi said. “That was basically abandoning her. You took care of her halfway and then dumped her. Her parents didn’t want her, and you didn’t want her either. You might as well not have taken care of her in the first place.” She sighed, shaking her head with the clarity of an outsider. “Don’t tell me you still don’t understand what she hates you for.”