Chapter 62

Wei Jialuo went to the noodle shop first thing the next morning. That was for the best; at least Wei Xiaolu wouldn’t have to feel awkward around him, wanting to apologize but unable to swallow her pride.

But in the afternoon, just as she was packing to head back, Wei Jialuo came home again at the worst possible time, sitting on the sofa and drinking coffee without saying a word.

Wei Xiaolu tried to strike up a conversation. She opened her mouth, but she couldn’t bring herself to call him “brother,” so in the end she gave up and turned away, stuffing all the good snacks at home into her bag like a bandit.

“Hey, it’s cold outside,” Tang Xiaofen said, putting a scarf around Wei Xiaolu’s neck. “Take it off when you get back.”

“Mm.” Wei Xiaolu straightened her collar.

“When you get home, don’t just toss the scarf somewhere. Fold it up and put it away properly,” Tang Xiaofen said. “If your boss sees the things she bought for you being thrown around—”

“Mom.” Wei Jialuo suddenly called out.

Tang Xiaofen paused; in an instant, she understood. “Right, that… the one Xiao Shen bought for you. Hang it up properly.”

“Got it, Mom.” Wei Xiaolu sneaked a glance at Wei Jialuo.

Wei Jialuo seemed to have glued his eyes to his phone; he never once looked up. Wei Xiaolu felt awkward and had nowhere to put herself, so Wei Zongqing drove her to the station. Sensing what was on her mind, he sighed with a smile. “Your brother’s just like that. Don’t mind him. He’ll stew for a while and be fine.”

“But I feel like,” Wei Xiaolu tugged at her seatbelt, “what I said yesterday was a little hurtful too.”

“You’re siblings; there’s no need to fuss over that.”

“It still doesn’t feel right.” Wei Xiaolu thought for a moment, then said, “I should still find a chance to make things clear with him.”

“Then when you come back after New Year’s in a couple of days,” Wei Zongqing said gently, “we’ll have a meal together and it’ll all be fine.”

But New Year’s had already been set with Shen Siyan… Wei Xiaolu held her breath and said carefully, “I don’t plan to come home for New Year’s. It’s also more troublesome to job hunt, so I, I want to use the holiday to send out a few more resumes.”

Naturally, Wei Zongqing didn’t want her to overwork herself, but Wei Xiaolu was stubbornly insistent; he quickly gave in. “If you’re not coming back, then don’t come back. I’ll have your brother go find you.”

“He won’t come,” Wei Xiaolu said with a snort, hugging her arms. “Let’s just keep this cold war going for now. We’ll talk next time we meet.”

Wei Zongqing, who had always spoiled her, said nothing more. He parked in front of the bus station, and when he helped Wei Xiaolu carry her luggage, his expression suddenly seemed warm and alive, his gaze deep as he looked at her. “If anything’s making you unhappy, don’t just bear it alone. Call us more.”

“Okay.” Wei Xiaolu took the luggage from him and lowered her head to check her ticket on her phone.

After confirming the departure time, she was about to leave when she heard Wei Zongqing say carelessly, “You haven’t really been calling us much lately.”

Wei Xiaolu suddenly wanted to cry again, but she forced herself to hold it in. She set down her luggage, stepped forward, and hugged Wei Zongqing.

“Dad,” she said, “I should grow up too. I can’t keep dumping negative energy on you and Mom. Lately everything I’ve heard about job hunting has been bad news; I don’t want you to end up suffering along with me.”

“Then you still need someone to talk to,” Wei Zongqing said, patting her. “It’s fine. Whatever you say, we’re willing to listen.”

Wei Xiaolu rubbed the corner of her eye against her father’s shoulder and, changing her tone, said brightly, “Okay. I’ll call you guys more from now on.”

“All right then.” Wei Zongqing laughed.

Going home to rest had been her excuse for brushing off Shen Siyan’s invitation, but after this trip back, Wei Xiaolu had settled her mind into a relatively stable place. At night, lying in bed, she no longer felt anxious enough to lose sleep; she could finally doze off soundly.

Maybe because the world really did follow the heart; once she no longer felt anxious and miserable, going out on dates with Shen Siyan became especially appealing again. On the evening of the New Year holiday, she held Shen Siyan’s hand and swayed it back and forth, asking, “Sis, what day are we going skiing?”

“How about the last day of the holiday?” Shen Siyan looked at her.

“Then what about the first two days?” Wei Xiaolu was eager.

“I’ll help you send out resumes,” Shen Siyan said. “I only have time during the holiday to help you with that.”

“…Oh.” Wei Xiaolu let go of Shen Siyan’s hand.

There was an uneasiness that went beyond the limits of her language. Wei Xiaolu didn’t know how to describe it; she just suddenly felt that dating Shen Siyan came with an admission fee.

After two quiet seconds, Shen Siyan lifted a hand, pulled Wei Xiaolu down, and drew her onto her lap. She said nothing, only lowered her head and pressed a light kiss to Wei Xiaolu’s lips.

“Xiaolu.” She called her like that.

“Mm?” Wei Xiaolu’s eyelashes trembled, and she didn’t look at her.

“You don’t want to send out resumes?” Shen Siyan asked beside her ear.

Wei Xiaolu, who had once thought about stopping for a while, found it hard to deny that when she heard this slow, gentle question, she didn’t want to keep working hard anymore.

So she nodded and allowed herself to choose rest when she was tired.

But Shen Siyan seemed to have misunderstood, and lowered her head to kiss her again.

“Then don’t send them,” Shen Siyan said, taking her hand. “You can go to Hongjian Group.”

Still wrapped in that warmth, Wei Xiaolu didn’t react in time. “They’re hiring?”

“I’ll recommend you to my father,” Shen Siyan said.

Wei Xiaolu almost immediately pushed her away and sprang out of Shen Siyan’s arms. “Didn’t we already talk about this? I don’t want to use your connections. I don’t want to, to argue with you about this again.”

But the other woman wasn’t as intense as Wei Xiaolu had imagined. Shen Siyan took her hand again and pulled her back into her arms.

“Just like you said,” Shen Siyan said after a pause, “I don’t want to cut ties with them that completely either. I also need to reconnect with them… in some way.”

Wei Xiaolu found it unbelievable. “But that’s not the same thing at all.”

Shen Siyan looked helpless, then gave a small laugh and stopped looking for excuses, speaking frankly instead. “But baby, I just don’t want to see you exhausting yourself like this. If I can make things easier for you and give you a better option, then don’t overthink it, okay?”

Being looked at with such tender concern, and spoken to in such a caring tone, made even the thickest defenses easy to break through.

Wei Xiaolu was no exception. When Shen Siyan gently reached out and offered her a shortcut, there was a moment when she truly wanted to be tempted, to accept that beautiful indulgence.

But when she looped her arms around Shen Siyan and returned the kiss with heat and longing, and Shen Siyan slipped a hand under her hem, moving along her waist and up to her chest, the place she had once refused to let anyone knead and hold, Wei Xiaolu felt a pang of bitterness and was deeply ashamed of this sacrificial act of hers.

Tracing down along the side of her neck, the soft, ticklish sensations Shen Siyan brought her gradually shifted toward her chest. The loose neckline of her sweater was stretched open all the way through; Wei Xiaolu only had to lower her head slightly to see that hand wreaking havoc inside her clothes.

She was afraid, but at the same time, Wei Xiaolu could also gasp out her desire for Shen Siyan through her ragged breathing.

But when all of this was built on what they had just said, she could no longer tell whether her desire for Shen Siyan also carried some desire for the job along with it.

So when Shen Siyan lifted her bra and leaned in, intending to take her lips between her teeth, Wei Xiaolu retreated a little. The motion made the temperature plummet; Shen Siyan didn’t press forward, lifting her head instead and looking at her with eyes thick with desire.

“Sis, I, I…”

Shen Siyan lowered her gaze, patted her back twice in a reassuring way, covered her with her clothes again, then leaned in and kissed her hair.

“Don’t be afraid,” Shen Siyan kissed her brow bone as well. “We’ll take it slowly.”

Wei Xiaolu wanted to say they were already going slowly enough; they’d been together for more than a month, and their progress was at the pace of a snail.

But there was something more important to say right now. Wei Xiaolu had no choice but to set her desire aside for the moment, take Shen Siyan’s hand, and peel open her fingers one by one as she told her, “I still want to try… finding a job on my own first.”

After a beat, Shen Siyan still seemed to want to persuade her. “It’s actually very common. A lot of people in our company got in through connections.”

“Did you?” Wei Xiaolu asked suddenly.

Shen Siyan froze. It took a few seconds before she answered, “No.”

“Then I don’t want to either.” Wei Xiaolu said.

Seeing Shen Siyan’s gaze gradually settle on her face, taking on a look that resembled surprise, Wei Xiaolu shifted, kneeling up on Shen Siyan’s lap so they were eye to eye.

“If I get in because of you, I’ll never know where my real level actually is.”

Shen Siyan considered it for a moment, then nodded. “I understand. Maybe the job I’d introduce you to wouldn’t even be somewhere you’re good at or love.”

“Exactly,” Wei Xiaolu said with a smile. “When I interned at a big company before, I had seen a colleague there who got in through connections. In the end… she didn’t really have any real authority at all; she was just an empty shell, a pretty facade. Nobody could be convinced by her, and if she wanted to switch jobs, she couldn’t even do that. I don’t want that.”

“Oh?” Shen Siyan raised a brow.

“I don’t want to skip the process and go straight to the result,” Wei Xiaolu said. “I think I have to be responsible for myself. I need to find a position through normal market competition that can help me grow, even if the starting point is lower and the process is a little more troublesome.”

Shen Siyan looked at her.

“It’s true; I’m confident in my ability,” Wei Xiaolu straightened her back. “I want the company and my coworkers to respect me because of my value, not because of the person behind me.”

Shen Siyan didn’t answer.

“What is it?” Wei Xiaolu realized she was staring at her without moving, her whole body buzzing. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Baby sister is so charming.” Shen Siyan leaned against the pillow and said with a smile.

Wei Xiaolu couldn’t hold it in and laughed. “The one I’m charming is you.”

Shen Siyan laughed softly along with her, then closed her eyes and kissed her eyelid. “I’ve been charmed.”

“Ehh.” It was fine for one or two lines, but after hearing too much Wei Xiaolu started to feel her scalp tingle; she pushed at Shen Siyan with both hands.

Shen Siyan wasn’t annoyed by being pushed away. She leaned back again, looking at her with an unreadable expression.

Only then did Wei Xiaolu notice how dangerous her kneeling position was. She hurried to get up, but Shen Siyan hooked her arm around her waist and held her there.

“Baby sister, charming someone and then just leaving like that is a little irresponsible.”

Wei Xiaolu couldn’t keep acting. She covered her mouth and laughed, then squeezed Shen Siyan’s leg. “Don’t do that. I keep breaking character.”

Shen Siyan wasn’t infected by her laughter. Still half-reclining, she lifted her chin. “Come kiss me.”

The smile vanished at once. Wei Xiaolu looked down at Shen Siyan; in the silence, they reached an impasse. A few seconds later, on the edge of rationality collapsing, she took a deep breath, let her waist go soft, and leaned down onto her.