Chapter 154

“It’s all right. Mom is here.”

Ran Qingqing’s heart nearly broke for her. She had been called over by Lin Yuewei, and Lin Yuewei had roughly explained the situation over the phone. There were some details Lin Yuewei didn’t know, but it was already enough to piece together the whole story.

Gu Yanqiu stayed in Ran Qingqing’s arms for a while, then grew a little embarrassed and looked at Lin Yuewei. Lin Yuewei’s expression said, I didn’t see anything. Go on.

She really couldn’t go on.

Gu Yanqiu took two steps back and looked toward Gu Feiquan, whose face was taut with anxiety in the shadow cast by the standing lamp, but who had kept quiet the entire time. She walked slowly over to him. Lin Yuewei instinctively took a step after her, then stopped herself.

She glanced at Ran Qingqing, who shook her head.

The Gu family’s business had to be settled by the Gu family itself; none of them should interfere.

Gu Feiquan had deep dark circles under his eyes. He looked up as Gu Yanqiu came over. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to stand; he was simply too exhausted to move.

Gu Yanqiu gently rested her hand on the top of his head and said in a low voice, “Ge.”

A muffled sob broke from Gu Feiquan’s throat.

Gu Yanqiu sat down beside him, wrapped her arms around his head, and rested her chin on the crown of his hair. “The two of us were both children who should never have come into this world.”

Gu Feiquan’s body trembled slightly.

“But we still have each other; you still have me.” Gu Yanqiu stroked his hair and said it again.

The grievances of one generation always hurt the next generation the most. They had done nothing wrong. There was no way to explain the affairs of this world with mere “reason” or “ought to.”

Gu Feiquan could no longer hold it in and burst into tears on her shoulder.

After the siblings calmed down a little, Lin Yuewei booked a private room near the hospital cafeteria. First, they all needed to replenish their energy after being up all night; second, they needed to discuss what came next. The discussion was mainly between Gu Feiquan and Gu Yanqiu, while Lin Yuewei and Ran Qingqing listened, occasionally offering a thought or two.

Gu Yanqiu told Gu Feiquan everything Gu Huai had said. Joy flashed across Gu Feiquan’s face, but it faded almost immediately. “Will that work? Even if Aunt Shen didn’t do it on purpose, she did deceive my mom and made her give birth to me.”

Gu Yanqiu was also full of worry; she let out a soft sigh.

Lin Yuewei kept feeling that something about this was strange, so she leaned close to Ran Qingqing and whispered, “Mom, don’t you think this is a little like love turning to hate?”

“Me too.” Ran Qingqing’s gaze was complicated.

“I’m not talking about romantic love.”

“Neither am I.”

“...”

Whether it was romantic love or not, He Songjun must have liked Shen Huaiyu back then; otherwise, she wouldn’t have been so easily deceived. Shen Huaiyu must have given her a sense of trust, which made her believe in that empty promise. By the time Shen Huaiyu gave birth to the child, deception and betrayal had piled on top of each other, and that was what made her hate for so many years.

There was no way to untie this knot. Shen Huaiyu was already dead. If she were still alive, if the two of them could sit face-to-face and talk, if Shen Huaiyu could kneel, apologize, do whatever was necessary so He Songjun would have some way to vent her hatred, that would be one thing. But now she was gone; who was there left for He Songjun to vent on?

That was exactly what Gu Feiquan was worried about.

With nothing better to do, he went to see He Songjun again the next day. Detention wasn’t a good place. After a day and a night in there, He Songjun’s already gaunt face had visibly thinned and grown more haggard; dark circles ringed her eyes, her eye sockets were sunken, and the look she gave Gu Feiquan was gloomy.

Gu Feiquan wasn’t used to seeing He Songjun like this. He didn’t get straight to the point; first he pitifully said, “Mom, I drank some porridge this morning and couldn’t eat anything at all. I felt nauseous, and then I threw it all back up.”

He Songjun’s expression softened right away. Her face no longer looked so dark; it had returned to the timid, dutiful look Gu Feiquan was used to.

In a hoarse voice, He Songjun said, “Eat properly.”

“Mm.” Gu Feiquan answered, his eyes growing wet. “Mom, how am I supposed to eat with you looking like this?”

He Songjun was moved even more. She said gently, “With Mom looking like this, you should take even better care of your own life. Just pretend you never had a mother like me.”

Gu Feiquan said, “But you haven’t even seen me get married and have children.”

He Songjun tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling, saying nothing.

Gu Feiquan said, “I’m definitely going to save you. Yesterday I went to see the Gu father and daughter...”

The handcuffs rattled loudly. Gu Feiquan panicked a little and hurried to soothe her in advance. “Mom, don’t get worked up yet. I’m not done. Hear me out before you lose your temper.”

He Songjun shot him an ominous look.

Gu Feiquan knew full well he had no leg to stand on, but he still braced himself and said, “Back then, Luo Yu didn’t deliberately deceive you. She liked women; she didn’t like Gu Huai at all...”

He Songjun showed an expression of disbelief.

Gu Feiquan thought there was hope and went on, “So what she said back then, that she wouldn’t have a child with Gu Huai, was true. She had also planned to divorce Gu Huai not long after the wedding, but then she got drunk by accident and ended up unexpectedly pregnant with Gu Yanqiu. She had originally wanted to terminate the pregnancy. Gu Huai wouldn’t agree and said she had acted on her own and that he would never acknowledge our mother and son. She had already let us down first and didn’t want to let Gu Huai down too, so that was why she gave birth to Gu Yanqiu. She lived the rest of her life in regret, she—”

He Songjun cut him off. Her lips curved, and she let out a sharp laugh. “Drunk?”

Gu Feiquan swallowed hard and said, “Yes.”

He Songjun suddenly threw back her head and laughed. It wasn’t a mocking laugh or a self-mocking one; it was just a normal laugh, but it made Gu Feiquan’s hair stand on end.

He Songjun abruptly stopped laughing and coldly lifted one corner of her mouth. “No wonder when I questioned her back then, she hemmed and hawed, refused to tell me the truth, and only kept apologizing to me. Drunk? She really had the nerve.”

No matter how much of a filter Gu Feiquan had, he still wouldn’t think Shen Huaiyu had done this right. But the urgent task now was to comfort He Songjun. He stammered, “B-but at least that means she didn’t deliberately deceive you, right?”

He Songjun said “Oh?” and asked in return, “What difference does it make?”

Gu Feiquan was at a loss for words.

The result had already happened; it was too late for all this now.

He Songjun looked back at him without flinching, her tone pitying. “Don’t waste your effort, son. Your mother’s life has already been ruined. Wherever I am, I’m just barely hanging on. After you go back, eat when you need to eat, drink when you need to drink, and don’t keep thinking about me anymore.”

Gu Feiquan looked at her pleadingly. “Mom...”

He Songjun pressed her lips together slightly, as if considering something. After a moment, she said, “The Gu family’s daughter—I know you like her. If you really want a younger sister, then Mom won’t object anymore. Just live a good life out there.”

She had been locked up here for a while and had thought a great deal. She had reflected a great deal too. Let the grievances stop here. Thirty years; how many thirty years did a person have? Some of their old bones were already in the ground, some had half their body in the ground. The younger generation had their own lives and should not have these burdens imposed on them anymore.

“And also,” He Songjun looked at Gu Feiquan and said, “Mom wants to say sorry to you. When you were little, I forced you to hate the Gu family and kept provoking you. That was my fault. You were right; a lot of the things I did were not for your sake, but for my own. As a mother, I was really unfit.”

He Songjun looked up at the surveillance camera. On the other side, the officer made a downward pressing gesture. Two criminal police officers came in, opened the door, and took He Songjun away.

***

After Gu Feiquan came out, he shook his head at Gu Yanqiu. Gu Yanqiu let out a soft sigh.

She had nearly lost her life; she should have hated He Songjun. But after learning everything, she couldn’t bring herself to hate her. Even the hated had their pitiful side. If her mother had not made a mistake first back then, He Songjun would not have been trapped in this for over thirty years and driven herself into such a stubborn corner.

There was some sense of karma to it.

If He Songjun could put the past behind her and live well, Gu Yanqiu would naturally bless her, and even help her. But right now, she had already fallen into a dead end, like a sealed iron cage with no windows and only one huge iron door. He Songjun was hiding in a dark corner, and the only person who had a key had died more than a year ago.

“I think she may have had her heart die,” Lin Yuewei said. Because of Gu Yanqiu’s accident, she had been delayed in Yanning for two days, but she couldn’t keep delaying indefinitely. Her crew was waiting for her to start filming, so she had already flown back to the set last night. After a day’s shoot, and after showering, she sat on the bed and video-called Gu Yanqiu.

“You’re always talking nonsense.” Gu Yanqiu smiled helplessly for a while.

“I’m not talking nonsense,” Lin Yuewei said seriously. “Do you know why she’s suffered so much these past thirty years? Did she herself do nothing wrong? I’m not saying this just because you’re my wife and I’m trying to whitewash your mom. First, she thought she could use a child to tie Gu Huai down. If she had really been firm, no matter how beautifully your mom talked, she should’ve still had the abortion. That’s mistake number one. If it were me, I wouldn’t just abort the baby; I’d also kick your mom out. We already broke up, and you’re still asking me to keep the baby? What are you plotting? You can’t have a baby; what does that have to do with me? Am I your surrogate or your free womb?”

Gu Yanqiu: “...” On careful thought, Lin Yuewei’s blunt words were rough but not unreasonable.

Lin Yuewei continued, “After your mom had you, she buried her hatred in her heart. Aside from cutting ties, she didn’t react at all, and she kept accepting the Gu family’s generous material support. After your dad found out He Songjun had given birth, he paid even more. Forget raising a child; it’d be more than enough to raise a pretty boy. Or else she could’ve been tougher, taken the child and stayed far away from that pair of horrible... whatever they were, and cut her losses completely. Or even tougher—if you want to put it that way, why didn’t she take revenge then and there? Why wait until today? She just didn’t. In the end, she was simply cowardly. She accepted the other side’s support with complete peace of mind while nursing her hatred. She ate from their bowl and cursed them once she put it down. That’s mistake number two.”

Gu Yanqiu opened her mouth. “I think...”

Lin Yuewei was straightforward and hated muddled, drawn-out things. In her view, not a single one of the older generation was innocent; every one of them had done plenty wrong, each more self-righteous than the last. They had all created their own mess.

What she wanted now was for Gu Yanqiu to stop worrying about all this entirely and live her own life properly. But there was nothing she could do about it; Gu Yanqiu was kind, and there were still members of her family in there. She couldn’t just not care.

Lin Yuewei raised a brow. “You think what?”

Gu Yanqiu looked at her and said slowly, “I think what you said makes sense.”

Lin Yuewei suddenly laughed, leaned forward slightly, and lowered her voice. “Baby, you’re too adorable.”

Gu Yanqiu made a soft “mm” and continued speaking at sloth-like speed. “I know I’m adorable. You don’t need to emphasize it.”

Lin Yuewei laughed out loud.

Gu Yanqiu returned to normal speaking speed and said, “And what you just said about becoming a nun?”

“It means exactly what you think it means. Buy her a couple of Buddhist scriptures; Daoist ones would work too, or Christian ones. Let her cultivate her mind a bit. With someone as stubborn as her, you can’t reason her out of it. You can only let time help her slowly let go. There’s nothing much to do in prison anyway; chanting scriptures would be perfect.”

“...”

“I’m being serious. I’m not joking.” Lin Yuewei emphasized it.

“I know.” Gu Yanqiu still felt it was a little off the beaten path. “But...”

Lin Yuewei spread her hands. “Do you have any other way?”

Gu Yanqiu honestly shook her head. “No.”

Lin Yuewei said, “Then that settles it. Tell Gu Feiquan the idea I came up with and let him decide. I asked a lawyer. Incitement to murder, attempted but unsuccessful; it’s ten years. There’s nothing you can’t let go of.”

Gu Yanqiu very much wanted to say that her mother had recited sutras for more than twenty years and still hadn’t let go. In the end, she swallowed the words back down.

Gu Feiquan actually gave the suggestion serious thought.

Frowning, he said, “Then next time I bring her two scriptures? For beginners, which sutra should I have her recite first? Will she be able to understand them?”

Gu Yanqiu: “...”

***

Two days later, He Songjun was told someone had come to visit. She thought it was Gu Feiquan. After entering the room and seeing the man seated across from her, she turned around and was about to leave.

“Songjun!” Gu Huai called after her.

He Songjun said, “Officer, I want to go back.”

Gu Huai said, “I have something to say to you.”

The criminal police officer looked between them. He Songjun said, “Forget it, Officer. I’ll talk to him.”

She had no kind face for Gu Huai. He was an accomplice; there was no point in pretending anymore. Her brow was knitted so tightly it could crush a fly as she asked in disgust, “What are you doing here?”

“Came to see you.”

“Cut the hypocrisy.” He Songjun snorted.

“If you have something to say, say it. I’ll listen. I never properly listened to you all these years.” Gu Huai spoke slowly.

“What are you doing now? Playing the pity card? Or did you come for that bitch’s dying wish, to dispense your noble, super-generous sympathy? I don’t need it!”

When Gu Huai heard the way He Songjun referred to Shen Huaiyu, his brows tightened and a vein jumped at his temple, but he did not say anything.

He Songjun sneered. “What? Feeling sorry for her? I say one word about her and you get upset. Where were you when I was in the delivery room, in agony and half dead?”

Gu Huai lowered his head. “...I’m sorry.”

He Songjun said, “Sorry, sorry; is that all you Gu family people know how to say? Luo Yu said sorry to me, and you’re saying sorry to me too. If sorry actually worked, would I be locked up here? Just hearing those three words makes me sick.”

Gu Huai kept talking on his own. “I’m sorry.”

He Songjun flew into a rage. “I said I don’t want to hear it; are you deaf?”

Gu Huai still said, “I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry, I’m pregnant.

I’m sorry, Gu Huai refuses to divorce.

I’m sorry, I may not be able to do what I promised you.

I’m sorry, I never thought things would turn out like this.

I’m sorry; what else can I do to make it up to you?

I’m sorry; do whatever you want to me. Do you want my life? Say the word, and I can give it to you.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. An endless string of apologies, like a recurring nightmare, dragged He Songjun back into those days once more.

Shen Huaiyu had not come for a long stretch. He Songjun worried something had happened to her, and little Gu Feiquan cried and made a fuss, insisting on finding Auntie. He Songjun soothed her son while anxiously waiting. She couldn’t go to the Gu residence; that area was all wealthy homes, and it wasn’t appropriate for her to wait at the gate of the compound either.

A month later, Shen Huaiyu knocked on her door.

After closing the door, He Songjun pulled her up and down to check her over. Finally, she let out a breath. “You scared me to death. What happened?”

Shen Huaiyu seemed unable to lift her head under her gaze. Much later, she said in a very low voice, “I’m sorry. I’m pregnant.”

He Songjun thought she had heard wrong. “What did you say?”

Shen Huaiyu repeated it. He Songjun’s body swayed violently and she fell back onto the sofa. At first she didn’t rush to question her loudly. Instead, she asked gently, “Aren’t you supposed to be unable to have children? What happened?”

Shen Huaiyu glanced at her, hesitating as if to speak but stopping herself. “I...”

He Songjun suddenly exploded, swinging her hand hard across her face. “Didn’t you say you would never have a child with him?”

Shen Huaiyu said, “I’m sorry.”

Little Gu Feiquan was so frightened that he burst into tears, stretching out his lotus-root little arms toward Shen Huaiyu. Shen Huaiyu reached to hold him, and He Songjun shouted, “Get away!” She picked little Gu Feiquan up and carried him into the bedroom, then closed the door.

How many times she had apologized that day, He Songjun no longer remembered. After that, Shen Huaiyu came several more times. Sometimes He Songjun saw her; sometimes she shut the door and refused to receive her. Later, Shen Huaiyu gradually began to show, and her pregnancy symptoms were severe. She grew much more haggard. She was very thin, the sort of person who looked like she’d topple over in a gust of wind, which made the belly she carried seem especially huge, like it couldn’t be supported. It was frightening to look at.

Sometimes, while talking, Shen Huaiyu would suddenly need to vomit. He Songjun would think of how Shen Huaiyu had once taken care of her in every possible way. Even if it had all been false affection, she had still been the best person in this world to her. He Songjun hated her, yet also pitied her, and couldn’t stop herself from bringing tea, pouring water, and gently rubbing her back.

Shen Huaiyu was weak by nature, and pregnancy tormented her so badly that her face was often pale. It looked as if a light push would make her fall to the floor and miscarry. He Songjun had once entertained such vicious thoughts, but in the end she abandoned them. She treated it as repaying the two years of companionship Shen Huaiyu had given her.

Shen Huaiyu herself probably had the same thought. She had let down He Songjun and her son, irreparably, and could not face the man who loved her so deeply. Consumed by guilt, she handed the choice over to He Songjun.

After Gu Yanqiu was born safely, He Songjun moved house, cut off all ties with Shen Huaiyu, and refused to see her again. From then on, she chose hatred with complete focus.

She wanted an explanation; she always felt Shen Huaiyu owed her one. Shen Huaiyu had said all the world’s apologies, but she never knew that what He Songjun wanted was not those words.

***

“That’s enough!” He Songjun broke free from the memory, her chest rising and falling violently as she shouted.

Gu Huai obediently fell silent.

He Songjun panted hard, a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead.

She swallowed, and Gu Huai said to the surveillance camera, “Can she have a cup of water?”

Outside, two cups of water were sent in. One was thoughtfully given to Gu Huai. Gu Huai nodded. “Thank you.”

He Songjun laboriously held the cup with her cuffed hands and took a sip. She exhaled faintly and closed her eyes. “How... did she die?”

“What?”

“I heard it was illness.” He Songjun opened her eyes and looked at Gu Huai.

This time Gu Huai understood. He nodded. “Yes. It was illness.”

“Very suddenly.” He Songjun lowered her gaze to the cup in front of her. “Her body was a little weak, but hadn’t it been more or less taken care of these years? Was it a lingering problem from giving birth? Gu Yanqiu made such a fuss while she was in her belly.”

“No.” Gu Huai hesitated for a moment, then told her the truth. “Her... ex-girlfriend died in a car accident. She fell ill from prolonged grief, and her health got very bad. She died of depression.”

“She was married to you for so long, and she was always thinking about someone else? And in the end she even died for that person?” He Songjun asked with sarcasm in her voice.

“...Yes.”

He Songjun lowered her head and let out a laugh that carried no obvious meaning, not letting Gu Huai see her expression.

Gu Huai said a few more things. He Songjun listened very calmly, and she never exploded again the entire time. After the visit ended, the criminal police escorted her back.

Three days later.

Lin Yuewei video-called Gu Yanqiu again. Gu Yanqiu looked at her with a strange expression, one that held a probing sort of meaning. Lin Yuewei touched her own face and asked, “Do I have something extra on my face?”

“No.” Gu Yanqiu still wore that same expression. She propped her chin on her hand and asked, “Are you a half-immortal?”

Lin Yuewei: “Huh?”

Gu Yanqiu explained, “Didn’t you tell Gu Feiquan to have his mom recite Buddhist scriptures? He hadn’t even brought it up yet, and He Songjun took the initiative to suggest it herself. Isn’t that amazing?”

Lin Yuewei applauded herself. “Amazing.” But she was also puzzled. “Did He Songjun have a change of heart?”

Gu Yanqiu said, “Not sure. According to Gu Feiquan, his mom’s been much calmer and isn’t hysterical anymore. She met with the lawyer and talked to him; her attitude was especially good. Anyway, it’s pretty abnormal, very different from before.”

Lin Yuewei worried, “Could she be putting on an act? Then once she gets out, she’ll stir up more trouble.”

Gu Yanqiu laughed at her for worrying needlessly. “She won’t. She’s that old already. If she spends a few more years in prison, who knows what the outside will be like by then. Whether she’s faking it or not, we’ll know after these few years.”

“Hopefully,” Lin Yuewei muttered. She had no sympathy whatsoever for He Songjun.

“This matter counts as resolved satisfactorily, so you don’t need to worry about it anymore,” Gu Yanqiu said. These past few days, Lin Yuewei had been filming on set, so of course she hadn’t been able to relax. The trauma from the last incident still hadn’t faded. Every time she had a spare moment, she asked all sorts of questions about where Gu Yanqiu was and what she had encountered; if she didn’t have time to ask herself, she had Wang Yuanyuan ask. In short, she had to be kept updated on her schedule at all times.

“What do you mean I don’t need to worry anymore? I am worrying.” Lin Yuewei shot her a look. “Did you have bodyguards with you?”

“Yes.” Gu Yanqiu raised a hand as if swearing an oath. “They’re on duty at the entrance to the office; all black-suited young men, and they’re all at least 185.”

At once, Lin Yuewei frowned. “What do you mean young men and young women? You’re not allowed to call them that. Who taught you that?”

Gu Yanqiu said, “I learned it online myself.”

Lin Yuewei said, “You can’t call them that.”

Gu Yanqiu put on a wronged look. “I only say it in front of you; I don’t say it in front of other people.”

Lin Yuewei said, “Fine, I was wrong. Hurry up and put your mouth away. If you keep pouting, I’m going to kiss you.”

Gu Yanqiu was very cheeky now. “Come kiss me.”

It made Lin Yuewei itch with restlessness, but in the end she still didn’t extinguish the fire.

She gritted her teeth. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

Gu Yanqiu said frankly, “Yep, yep.”

Lin Yuewei said, “Just you wait.” Then her expression shifted, and she smiled brilliantly. “When are you coming to visit me on set?”

Gu Yanqiu said, “The weekend after next? I’m still choosing the date.”

Lin Yuewei’s smile widened. “Okay.”

Gu Yanqiu looked at her dazzlingly exaggerated smile and suddenly remembered something terrible: she and Lin Yuewei had agreed on Saturday. According to their arrangement, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday belonged to Lin Yuewei; that was a miscalculation.

It had to be said that Lin Yuewei was quite full of little schemes. She had planned this far in advance. Lin Yuewei was on set for a long time, and Gu Yanqiu could only choose Friday or Saturday flights for a visit. She would have to rush back on Sunday, and the only day they could actually do anything was Saturday; Lin Yuewei had already claimed Saturday early on.

But plans never keep up with changes. Lin Yuewei had been taken by surprise in her own allotted time more than once and, dizzy and dazed, had been pushed down not once or twice. On who knew how many weekends to come, it was still anyone’s guess who would come out on top.

The days passed one by one. Lin Yuewei went to the crew, and Gu Yanqiu lived alone with Schrödinger in the empty villa. Ran Qingqing timely invited her to move into the Lin house so she could shower her overflowing maternal love on her.

Gu Yanqiu brought the cat with her to the Lin house. The moment she walked in, she called, “Mom.”

Ran Qingqing’s expression immediately looked so blissful it was almost like she was about to ascend in broad daylight. After taking a moment to recover from the happiness, she beamed and came over, changing how she addressed Gu Yanqiu on her own initiative. “Yanyan’s here.”

Gu Yanqiu, the real Yanyan herself, stiffened for a second and calmly accepted it.

“Yanyan, what do you want to eat for breakfast tomorrow?”

“Yanyan, what do you want for lunch tomorrow? Is the company ordering takeout? Takeout isn’t healthy. I’ll make you a bento. What dishes do you want? I’ll go buy them right now. Don’t be polite with Mom; Lin Yuewei never knows what being polite means.”

“Yanyan, are you off work yet? Mom made you soup; codonopsis black chicken soup. It’s been simmering all day. I just tasted it, and it’s especially good. What? You have a dinner engagement tonight? It’s fine; drink it when you get back. I’m keeping it warm for you.”

“Yanyan, you must be tired from work, right? You’re still working so late. Mom will make you a midnight snack. How can you not eat a midnight snack? You’re not Lin Yuewei; you don’t need to diet until you’re unrecognizable. All right, don’t say anything else. I’m going to make it now. How about tangyuan? Handmade, with your favorite filling. It’ll definitely be delicious.”

“Yanyan, you’re managing two companies now. You must be exhausted, so you really need to replenish yourself. This is a recipe I specially found for you... You’ve only had half a bowl of soup? That’s not enough nutrition. Have another bowl; you can only work properly if you’re properly nourished.”

“Yanyan...”

“Yanyan...”

A month later, Lin Yuewei looked at Gu Yanqiu on video and said, stunned, “Baby, why have you gotten so much fatter?”

Gu Yanqiu, expressionless, silently picked up Schrödinger, who was lying around like a corpse, lifted both its paws, and showed Lin Yuewei Schrödinger’s round belly and its face, whose features were almost impossible to make out from how squeezed together they were.

Lin Yuewei also fell silent for a moment. She clicked her tongue, then dryly added, “Getting fat is good. It means you’re blessed.”