Chapter 153

Gu Yanqiu sat with the aftershock for a while, then called Cheng Guiyuan again.

Actually, before calling the police, she had wanted to call Lin Yuewei. By her reckoning, Lin Yuewei was still in the waiting lounge, and it wouldn’t take her long to get there. But after thinking about it, she gave up; she didn’t want to make her worry.

Cheng Guiyuan went straight to the police station and met Gu Yanqiu there. While Gu Yanqiu was waiting to give her statement, she briefly told Cheng Guiyuan what had happened; just hearing it was enough to make Cheng Guiyuan’s scalp prickle.

“This is definitely murder! Intentional homicide!” Cheng Guiyuan exploded, slapping the table.

A nearby police officer was startled by her shout and stepped forward. “Don’t worry. We’ll look into it. There are surveillance cameras on that road, and the footage is already being pulled. It’ll be sent over very soon.”

Gu Yanqiu sat in a chair, one hand pressed to the bridge of her nose.

Anyone who had narrowly escaped death would be unable to let go of it so easily. Every time she thought about what had just happened, she could still feel the cold sweat on her back.

Over there, they notified Gu Yanqiu to give her statement. Cheng Guiyuan looked around, frowned, and only then seemed to remember something. “Did you tell Lin… you know who?”

Gu Yanqiu shook her head.

Cheng Guiyuan looked at her like she was out of her mind. “Where is she?”

“She’s starting work today. She should be about to take off by now. I dropped her off at the airport and came back, and then…”

Cheng Guiyuan snapped, “If she hasn’t taken off yet, what are you waiting for? Call her back!”

“But she has to get on set…”

Cheng Guiyuan held out a hand. “Phone.”

Gu Yanqiu hesitated.

“Phone. Give it to me,” Cheng Guiyuan repeated, leaving no room for refusal.

“…” After unlocking it, Gu Yanqiu handed over her phone and still couldn’t help reminding her, “Don’t scare her.”

Cheng Guiyuan said, “Do I need to scare her? The facts alone are terrifying enough.”

Gu Yanqiu kept looking back over her shoulder as she left.

Cheng Guiyuan found the contact saved as “Darling” in her phone. Glancing at the call frequency, she was basically certain it was Lin Yuewei and pressed dial.

Lin Yuewei had just heard the boarding announcement and was about to head out when she received Gu Yanqiu’s call.

She had been waiting for Gu Yanqiu’s safe-arrival call all this time, so she answered in a rush, relieved at once. “You finally called. Was there traffic on the way?”

“It’s me,” Cheng Guiyuan said.

Lin Yuewei glanced at the caller ID; her heart immediately lurched. “Why is it you? No, why does Gu Yanqiu’s phone have you on it? Sorry, I’m a little confused right now. Just tell me.”

Cheng Guiyuan said, “Here’s the thing. Just now, Yanqiu was in a car accident…”

Lin Yuewei’s mind went blank with a bang. It felt as if time had stopped; everything in her ears vanished. Whatever Cheng Guiyuan said afterward, she didn’t hear a word. Static crackled through her mind like the snow of an old television signal.

She braced a hand on the nearby table and barely managed to steady herself, keeping from collapsing.

Wang Yuanyuan: “Weiwei, your schedule over there…”

Wang Yuanyuan turned back, her eyes not yet focused, when a gust of wind swept past her face. She shouted anxiously at Lin Yuewei’s retreating back, “Wrong direction! Boarding is this way!”

Lin Yuewei didn’t look back.

Wang Yuanyuan stomped her foot, then could only clutch the boarding pass and run after her in the opposite direction.

The terminal was huge and packed with people; from where she stood, it was all signs everywhere. Lin Yuewei was frantic, her vision filled with fog, and she couldn’t find the right way at all.

“Are you listening to me? She’s fine,” Cheng Guiyuan said.

Lin Yuewei stared blankly. Fine? What?

Cheng Guiyuan raised her voice. “She’s fine! Don’t worry.”

All the strength seemed to drain out of Lin Yuewei. Wang Yuanyuan, who had caught up from behind, reacted quickly and grabbed her arm. After staring at Lin Yuewei’s face for a few seconds, she asked worriedly, “What happened?”

Lin Yuewei swallowed hard, then looked at her and said, “Take me outside.”

Wang Yuanyuan said, “But the plane…”

Lin Yuewei shouted at her, “I need to get out!”

Wang Yuanyuan was stunned by the outburst. Then she heard Lin Yuewei apologize in an extremely low voice. “I’m sorry. Please take me out.”

Wang Yuanyuan held her hand and found the terminal exit. They hailed a taxi, and Lin Yuewei soberly asked Cheng Guiyuan on the other end, “Where is she?”

Cheng Guiyuan gave her an address, and Lin Yuewei repeated it exactly to the driver.

The ride took more than half an hour. Lin Yuewei clutched her phone so tightly that her palms were damp with sweat, head bowed, not saying a word. She looked like a lifeless statue.

Wang Yuanyuan didn’t know what had happened, but hearing that the address was a police station, she guessed it must be serious. She didn’t know how to comfort her, so she just kept a close eye on Lin Yuewei’s reactions, and the two of them rode in silence the whole way.

The taxi had barely stopped in front of the police station before Lin Yuewei rushed out.

“Weiwei, wait—”

Wang Yuanyuan paid the fare, but Lin Yuewei was already gone.

The matter itself was fairly simple, and Gu Yanqiu finished her statement in no time. After reviewing the surveillance footage, the police discovered that the truck had repeatedly rammed the car, which was highly suspicious. The officer standing in front of Gu Yanqiu was nodding and promising, “Don’t worry, we’ll investigate this thoroughly. There are cameras all along the road, and the driver’s identity can be determined very soon—”

Before he finished, Gu Yanqiu seemed to sense something and turned her head toward the entrance. Her eyes softened. “Lin…”

Before she could even finish the name, Lin Yuewei, her face drained white, came running toward her and crashed straight into her arms. Gu Yanqiu was driven back several steps by the impact; only when her waist hit the table did she stop.

Ignoring the pain in her waist, Gu Yanqiu reached out to stroke Lin Yuewei’s back and was just about to comfort her when she heard the person in her arms suddenly burst into sobs without warning.

The police officer coughed lightly. “This is…”

Cheng Guiyuan explained, “Family.”

The officer said, “Understandable.”

Cheng Guiyuan went to deal with the unfinished paperwork with the police and arranged things for Wang Yuanyuan, who had come with Lin Yuewei, telling her to help Lin Yuewei ask for leave. Then she brought the two people clinging to each other into her car.

Lin Yuewei was crying so hard she could barely catch her breath. Her makeup was completely ruined, yet she still couldn’t stop, checking Gu Yanqiu over and over while crying to see whether she was hurt anywhere.

She looked as if she might start using her hands next, and Cheng Guiyuan had no choice but to clear her throat and interrupt. “You two, there’s still one person here.”

Embarrassed, Lin Yuewei buried her face in Gu Yanqiu’s neck.

Gu Yanqiu reached forward, and Cheng Guiyuan passed her a pack of tissues from the front before starting the car.

“It’s fine now. It’s okay, don’t be afraid,” Gu Yanqiu said, holding Lin Yuewei all the way home.

Cheng Guiyuan lowered the window. “Call me if anything comes up.”

Gu Yanqiu agreed and helped Lin Yuewei into the house.

Once Lin Yuewei had calmed down, rage took over in her place. She said with absolute certainty, “It has to be He Songjun. Who else could hate you this much?”

Gu Yanqiu guessed it was her too, but Lin Yuewei was agitated, and she couldn’t let herself get agitated too, or else neither of them would have any sense left. No one knew what trouble that might cause. She soothed her, saying, “This kind of thing needs evidence.”

Lin Yuewei snapped, “What evidence? I’ll call Gu Feiquan and ask him where his mother is; then everything will be clear!”

Gu Feiquan was also terrified when he got the call. “Is she all right?”

“If she weren’t, would I still be standing here talking to you properly?” Lin Yuewei knew Gu Feiquan definitely had nothing to do with this, but she still couldn’t avoid taking some of her anger out on him. “Where’s your mother?”

Gu Feiquan frowned. “You suspect my mother?”

“I’m not suspecting her. I’m saying it has to be her!”

“Calm down first. My mom could never do something like this. She doesn’t have the guts.” Although his right eyelid had been twitching a lot lately, as if something bad was about to happen, he still didn’t think He Songjun was the sort to dare kill someone. This was murder.

“Where is she?!” Lin Yuewei had reached her limit.

“She’s in the hospital. I’ll call her right now.” Gu Feiquan hung up and dialed He Songjun’s number.

“I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is switched off, sorry…”

His phone slipped from his hand and hit the floor.

His mother never turned her phone off. She didn’t usually use it much, so the battery lasted a long time. That morning, after Gu Feiquan left the hospital, he had even seen his mother’s phone; the battery had been nearly full.

Gu Feiquan’s secretary was standing at the office door with a stack of documents in his arms, hand lifted to knock when the door suddenly opened from the inside.

“Gu…”

Gu Feiquan brushed past the secretary’s shoulder like a gust of wind, rushing out. Papers scattered all over the floor.

***

A police officer on guard at the entrance to the public security bureau stood tall and straight, but he kept glancing strangely at the middle-aged woman pacing outside and refusing to leave. She was probably in her fifties, dressed very fashionably, and looked like someone from a wealthy family.

The phone rang. He Songjun stared at the string of numbers she knew by heart for several seconds, took a deep breath, and answered with a dark expression. “Did it work?”

The man on the other end sounded drunk. “It worked. The car’s smashed into scrap metal, and the person’s probably been flattened into mush too. Even a god couldn’t save her.”

“Good. I’ll give the rest of the money to your family.”

“Thank you,” the man’s voice seemed a little clearer. “Anyway, I won’t live much longer. I can leave a little something behind for my family, and that’s enough.”

He Songjun exhaled the resentment in her chest, but she didn’t feel any lighter. She walked to the entrance of the public security bureau, then turned back one last time to look deeply at the bustling street, as if replaying the past thirty years of her life in a single glance.

She lifted her head and said calmly to the officer on duty, “Officer, I killed someone. I’m here to turn myself in.”

Gu Feiquan had only driven halfway to the hospital when he received a call from the public security bureau. Frowning, he said, “Hello?”

Tires screeched against the road as he slammed the car to a sudden stop at the roadside, his lips trembling. “What did you say? Say that again.”

***

The next day, news of Gu Yanqiu’s car accident reached Ran Qingqing. After hearing Lin Yuewei describe it, Ran Qingqing nearly fainted on the spot. She rushed over to the two of them and even brought a whole country chicken, insisting on making soup for Gu Yanqiu to calm her nerves. Gu Yanqiu didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Ran Qingqing instantly brought life back into the gloomy atmosphere in the house. Lin Yuewei, holding the cat, traded barbs with her mother, while Gu Yanqiu stood nearby smiling as she watched. Then she received a call from the police station. “Turned herself in?”

Lin Yuewei and Ran Qingqing both fell silent and turned to look at her.

“Okay, I understand. I’ll be right over.” Gu Yanqiu hung up, met their eyes, and said in a low voice, “He Songjun turned herself in. She hired someone and wanted to take my life.”

“You really are incredibly lucky,” said the police officer who received Gu Yanqiu, sounding deeply emotional as well. “That man deliberately drank before he drove into you. He was drunk and didn’t notice you had gotten out of the car ahead of time, and trucks have big blind spots too. If you had still been inside the car at the time, then…”

Lin Yuewei and Ran Qingqing clutched each other’s arms. Gu Yanqiu glanced back at them and gave an assuring smile.

The officer followed her gaze. “These are all your family, then? There’s one more than before.”

Before Gu Yanqiu could answer, Ran Qingqing said, “I’m her mother.”

Something shifted in Gu Yanqiu’s eyes, but she said nothing and accepted it by default.

The officer discussed the details with Gu Yanqiu a little longer and then comforted her with a few more words. If they investigated for two more days and the facts were clear with the evidence conclusive, then barring any surprises, the rest of the matter would be handed over to the procuratorate.

***

He Songjun had turned herself in. Under the police officer’s questioning, she confessed without reservation. She had originally planned to exchange the rest of her life for Gu Yanqiu’s life; now that Gu Yanqiu was dead, whatever happened to her didn’t matter.

But the news sent back after the police officer’s verification was that Gu Yanqiu had survived against all odds.

She couldn’t believe it, but the charge of instigating murder could not be erased. She was temporarily held in the detention center while the facts were investigated.

Gu Feiquan stumbled into the public security bureau and, in a daze, was led to see He Songjun.

Because she was suspected of a criminal offense, He Songjun wore handcuffs and sat across from Gu Feiquan with a calm expression.

“Mom, how could you be so foolish—”

He Songjun didn’t say a word.

Gu Feiquan said anxiously, “Mom, is there something you haven’t told me?” He still held on to a sliver of hope and looked at her expectantly. “That person wasn’t hired by you, was she? You wouldn’t do something like this, right?”

“It was me.” He Songjun lifted her eyelids and gave him an unruffled look. “This time she didn’t die; that was her good luck.”

Gu Feiquan said in disbelief, “Mom—”

He Songjun cut him off coldly. “I think you’ve gone mad. All day long, you’ve been completely bewitched by that woman’s daughter.”

Subconsciously, Gu Feiquan defended Gu Yanqiu. “She didn’t trick me.”

The handcuffs rattled loudly as He Songjun suddenly flew into a rage. “She did trick you! Her mother was no good, and she’s even worse!”

Gu Feiquan keenly caught something in those words and froze; he didn’t even have time to object.

He Songjun tightly closed her mouth.

Gu Feiquan looked at her, his mind racing. He forced himself to stay calm and said, “Mom, I’ll find you the best lawyer. I’ll definitely save you.”

“If you save me, I’ll still go out and kill her. Will you still save me then?” He Songjun’s mouth curved into a venomous smile.

“Mom!” Gu Feiquan never would have imagined hearing such words from his usually timid, weak mother.

“Don’t call me mom. Since you insist on standing on that woman’s side, then don’t call me mom ever again. Anyway, I’m already in here; maybe I’ll just die in prison. You don’t need a murderer for a mother. Dying in prison would be best.”

Heat surged into Gu Feiquan’s eyes. “Mom, what are you even saying? If there’s something hard in your heart, tell me. I’m your son; you’re my mother. What can’t you tell me?”

A trace of tenderness flashed in He Songjun’s eyes before it was quickly buried. She said coldly, “There’s nothing for me to say. I did what I did. You don’t need to waste your effort.”

“Mom—”

He Songjun looked up at the camera. “Officer, I’d like to go back. Is that all right?”

She unilaterally refused to continue speaking with Gu Feiquan.

Gu Feiquan watched as his mother was taken away by two police officers. He tried to follow, but was stopped by other officers. Over the shoulder of one criminal investigator, he watched He Songjun’s thin back recede into the distance, his eyes splitting with rage. “Mom—”

He Songjun’s eyes quickly filled with tears, but she clenched her teeth and did not turn back.

Gu Feiquan went to see Gu Yanqiu. The moment he entered, he dropped to his knees with a thud. Gu Yanqiu didn’t speak; Lin Yuewei rushed over first, stepping in front of Gu Yanqiu to stop him. “If you’re here to beg for your mother, forget it. This is a criminal case; it can’t be withdrawn.”

What a joke. Gu Yanqiu had nearly died, and Lin Yuewei was dying to make He Songjun spend the rest of her life in prison. If Gu Yanqiu hadn’t stopped her, she would have already used some underhanded methods in secret. And now he still wanted to plead for leniency? Impossible!

Gu Feiquan hadn’t slept all night. He looked haggard, his eyes bloodshot.

Gu Yanqiu patted Lin Yuewei’s shoulder, but Lin Yuewei wouldn’t move. Gu Yanqiu leaned close and said something in her ear; only then did Lin Yuewei reluctantly step aside. Gu Yanqiu came out from behind her and bent down to help Gu Feiquan up.

His lips were cracked and pale. Gu Yanqiu glanced at Lin Yuewei. Lin Yuewei pretended not to see it. Gu Yanqiu sighed and straightened up to pour water. Lin Yuewei stamped a foot, pressed on her shoulder, and a cup of water was set heavily on the coffee table.

Gu Yanqiu held out the warm water to Gu Feiquan and said softly, “Drink some.”

Gu Feiquan took it, took two sips, and said in a hoarse voice that scarcely sounded human, “I know this has caused you a lot of harm. I’m not here to ask for my mother’s leniency.”

Gu Yanqiu asked Lin Yuewei to get a hot towel.

Gu Feiquan wiped his face; he finally looked somewhat like a person again, and his expression eased a little. Taking a deep breath, he said, “My mother has a knot in her heart. I wanted to get her a lawyer, but she wouldn’t even agree. It’s like she’s determined to die.”

Lin Yuewei sneered inwardly: Good. Saves her from coming out and causing more trouble.

She wasn’t like Gu Yanqiu; she didn’t have her kindness. Anyone who hurt Gu Yanqiu didn’t deserve forgiveness.

Gu Yanqiu’s brows knit slightly. “What do you want me to do?”

Gu Feiquan rested both hands on his thighs, trembling uncontrollably. Like a man grasping at straws, he said, “I don’t know what her knot is, but it has to be related to what happened thirty years ago. There isn’t enough time. I want you to ask Gu Huai and have him tell you everything.”

Gu Yanqiu said, “If I ask him, will he tell me?”

“At a time like this, after he’s made my mother and me suffer so much, does he really have to wait until my mother is dead before he can take those secrets to the grave?!” Gu Feiquan suddenly lost control, then quickly composed himself again. “Sorry.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry for.”

When Lin Yuewei carefully considered what Gu Feiquan had said, she almost immediately wanted to stop him. She hadn’t forgotten that Gu Huai still held the secret of Gu Yanqiu’s birth; but no matter what, she couldn’t bring herself to say it.

At this point, was there even any way to stop it?

Gu Feiquan said again, “I’m not trying to plead for her. I just want to save her. Even if it means prison, I don’t want to watch her suffer like this.” His face was full of fatigue. “After all, she’s my mother.”

“Okay. I agree.” Gu Yanqiu patted the back of Gu Feiquan’s hand through the towel. “But I can’t promise anything.”

“That’s fine. Just do what you can.” Gu Feiquan kept his head bowed very low, murmuring, “Thank you. Thank you.”

Gu Yanqiu felt a surge of bitterness and sighed.

***

Gu Huai had not seen He Songjun or Gu Feiquan for two consecutive days. On the evening of the second day, Gu Yanqiu, who had not come to the hospital in a long time, finally arrived.

Gu Yanqiu came in alone, locked the door, pulled over a chair, and sat down by Gu Huai’s bedside.

Father and daughter stared at each other in silence.

Gu Yanqiu asked, “Dad, did you know that He Songjun hired someone to run me over?”

Gu Huai nodded heavily. “I knew.” He had asked his secretary to look into it. There is no such thing as a secret that never leaks; it was easy enough for word to reach his ears. Hearing that something had happened to Gu Yanqiu, Gu Huai’s heartbeat had nearly stopped. After Shen Huaiyu died, Gu Yanqiu was the only hope left for him to keep living.

Gu Yanqiu gave a bitter smile. “So you still planned to keep it from me? Which of the things you’ve told me is true, and which are false? Or is it…” She let out a soft sigh. “In your eyes, am I really so fragile that I can’t take the truth? I’m an adult. I have the right to know the truth, and I have the ability to bear all of it.”

Gu Yanqiu asked accusingly, “He Songjun has already gone mad. Who are you still trying to drive mad? Gu Feiquan? And if you don’t care about either of them, then what about me? Don’t you care about me too? Are you protecting me, or hurting me?”

“I…” Gu Huai began, his throat working as tears rose in his eyes. “Dad was wrong.”

Gu Yanqiu said, “Then tell me. I can accept it all.”

A long time passed.

“I met your mother on a freezing winter night. Back then, I had just graduated not long ago, and my career had only just begun to improve. I fell for your mother at first sight, but after that night, I didn’t know her name, and I didn’t know where she lived. I had nowhere to look, so I could only treat it as a dream I had once had.” Gu Huai sat on the bed with his back against the pillow, his eyes brimming with nostalgia as he looked far, far past the empty air in front of him.

“Later, by chance, I saw her again. She was too beautiful and too mysterious; no man could resist her charm. What made me different from the others was that I was certain I had fallen in love with her, not because of her appearance, but because I wanted to pursue her and spend my life with her. At that time, I and He Songjun quarreled constantly. She said I worked too much and didn’t spend enough time with her; I said she wasn’t considerate enough. We were already on the verge of breaking up, and I happened to reunite with Huaiyu at that time, so I brought up a breakup with He Songjun. She didn’t agree at first, but later, seeing that I was resolute, she had no choice but to agree.

“Your mother absolutely did not come between me and He Songjun. Even without her, the two of us would still have broken up. She only sped up the process. She didn’t deceive me either. When I was pursuing her, she had already told me plainly that she liked women, that she had once had a beloved girlfriend, and that I shouldn’t waste my efforts. I was young then; I didn’t believe fate, and I didn’t think liking women was such a big deal. A woman could still like men, after all; sooner or later, she would be moved by me. I had never felt so deeply in love with anyone before. I never expected that dream to come true so quickly. When she agreed to be with me, I was almost foolish with joy.” A smile of longing gathered on Gu Huai’s relaxed face, faintly revealing that brief, happy time.

“We got engaged first, and then I started preparing the wedding—the church, the wedding dress, the sugared candies, the invitations. I handled everything in detail. Your mother wasn’t interested in any of it. I took all sorts of plans to ask her about, and she said they were all fine. I knew she didn’t love me, but it didn’t matter. I loved her, and that was enough. She had agreed to marry me; we still had a very long future ahead of us, enough time to slowly build feelings. When she fell in love with me, no, even if she only liked me, we could have one child or two, and our family would be the happiest family under heaven. I could wait.”

What happened afterward, Gu Yanqiu already knew. She had also read Xia Zhifei’s diary; Shen Huaiyu had agreed to marry him only so another person could feel at ease. From the very beginning, his marriage had been a complete and utter fraud. He would never wait for the day Shen Huaiyu fell in love with him.

Looking at her father’s eyes, which still held a faint gleam, Gu Yanqiu suddenly couldn’t bear to keep listening.

Gu Huai said, “Some things can’t be looked back on. The more you look back, the more unbearable they become; but I always kept thinking about them. I was very busy with work then. I was getting married and starting a family; I would have a wife and children to support in the future, so I had to work even harder and give my little family the best future possible. I ignored a lot of details. I knew your mother often went out, but I never asked. She didn’t like me prying into her private affairs too much. Sticking to the most basic trust between husband and wife, I didn’t ask either, and gave her as much freedom and respect as possible. If I had known she was going to see He Songjun…”

Gu Yanqiu’s gaze sharpened slightly.

Gu Huai sighed. “Then so many of the later mistakes wouldn’t have happened. It was my negligence.”

Gu Yanqiu said, “Dad, this isn’t your fault.”

Gu Huai shook his head and continued, “After I married your mother, I treated her the same as always. She treated me with the attitude she had toward a friend—neither too distant nor too intimate. I took her out for walks, to concerts, to the theater; every so often, she would agree. At first, she wasn’t that devout in her belief in Buddhism. She only wore her prayer beads all the time, just like you do now. A major change happened in the second year after our marriage.”

Gu Yanqiu straightened. She sensed that everything led to this point.

Gu Huai could still remember that night. Shen Huaiyu had held him in her arms, her expression unusually seductive, murmuring words he couldn’t understand. Only later did he learn that it was a person’s name.

Gu Huai lowered the moisture from his eyes and said, “One night in the second year after our marriage, I came home after a social engagement and couldn’t find your mother anywhere. In the end, I found her in a guest room. She had drunk a lot and was drunk. I carried her back to the bedroom and planned to sleep in separate rooms as before, but she grabbed me. She… took me for Xia Zhifei.”

Gu Huai was a healthy adult man; even restraint was not easy for him, let alone when the one he loved was right in front of him, taking the initiative to seek him out.

Gu Huai closed his eyes. “It was my fault. I was muddled at the time… when she woke up, she was very regretful, and so was I. I knelt down and admitted my mistake to her. Your mother didn’t blame me. But two months later, she discovered she was pregnant. I was overjoyed, but she looked as if the sky had fallen, her face as white as paper. She said she wanted to abort the child. How could I agree? It was my child with her. Even if she didn’t love me, why couldn’t she keep this child? I could take care of it.

“After questioning her several times, she told me a secret: after He Songjun and I broke up, she had become pregnant. Originally, she didn’t want the child, but your mother persuaded her otherwise. At that time, Feiquan was already two years old. Only then did I understand why she kept bringing up divorce with me every few days. Why would I want a divorce when everything was fine? She wanted to return to He Songjun everything she had taken from her.”

There was a thunderclap in Gu Yanqiu’s mind; in an instant, she understood. So that was it.

Gu Huai said, “I was furious. That was the first time I raised my voice at your mother. I told her, what right did she have to decide my will? Gu Feiquan and I had long since gone our separate ways with He Songjun; what right did she have to bind the two of us together again and even let her have the child? I would not accept He Songjun, and I would not accept that child; I refused to acknowledge it. Your mother hadn’t expected it to be like this either. She thought she was indebted to He Songjun, which was why she had made that decision on her own. She thought it would be better for the both of us.

“‘So you kept me?’” Gu Yanqiu asked, unexpectedly calm.

“More or less. She was still hesitating at the time. I kept repeating that I absolutely would not acknowledge He Songjun and her son, and I begged her to keep you. Your mother didn’t know whether it was because you were growing more and more lively in her belly, or because she felt guilty toward me, but in the end she gave birth to you. After that, she thought she had done too many wrong things and could no longer turn back, so she converted to Buddhism and chanted sutras every day to atone for her sins. To your mother, you were a mistake, not a child she had given birth to of her own free will. And over all these years, I never moved her. In the end, she still chose Xia Zhifei, even at the cost of following her into death.” Gu Huai gave a bitter smile.

Gu Huai coughed twice, and Gu Yanqiu poured him a glass of water.

Gu Huai took it, drank two mouthfuls to moisten his throat, and said, “Before she died, she left a final wish. She hoped I would marry He Songjun, bring Gu Feiquan into the family, and treat them well. Actually, I really didn’t want to agree, but she lived the latter half of her life in regret and self-reproach. Anyway, she was already in poor health and half-broken. What harm was there in me continuing to atone for her?”

Having spoken out so much of what had been buried deep in his chest for years, Gu Huai’s expression loosened. He looked at Gu Yanqiu with affection and said, “I kept it from you because I didn’t want your mother’s image to be damaged. The dead are gone; let her remain forever in your heart in the most beautiful way. But I didn’t expect you to be so determined to investigate thirty years ago, and to uncover the ex-girlfriend, her daughter, and then He Songjun. I thought that since I had already married He Songjun, adding one more crime to my account wouldn’t matter, so I took all the blame onto myself. As long as your mother was perfect in your heart, that would be enough. I don’t care about any of that.”

He had also said some things to Gu Feiquan that were completely contrary to the truth, certain that Gu Feiquan would not tell Gu Yanqiu, and would instead help him keep it hidden, pinning all the wrongdoing on him. He had not expected He Songjun’s obsession to be so deep; if they kept hiding it, it would only snowball bigger and bigger.

“He Songjun doing something like this was beyond my expectations, but in the end I can’t escape responsibility,” Gu Huai said. “Is she in the detention center now? I’ll find time to go see her.”

He had said too much and was propping his tired eyelids open. Seeing this, Gu Yanqiu helped him lie back down. “Dad, rest for a while.”

She tucked in the blanket for him. Gu Huai caught her wrist and said softly, “Will you blame me?”

Gu Yanqiu looked at his graying temples. “No.”

Gu Huai asked again, “Do you resent your mother?”

Gu Yanqiu was silent for a long time. In a very soft voice, she said, “Sleep.”

Gu Huai let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes.

Gu Yanqiu turned off the light, then sat by the bed and watched over Gu Huai for a while without moving. Her mind was in chaos; it felt like drifting clouds and the wind between her fingers, nothing she could grasp. She clenched her palm futilely, then stood up as if waking from a dream.

Since she had come in, Lin Yuewei had been waiting outside.

The light outside was a little harsher than in the ward. Gu Yanqiu raised a hand to shield her eyes; once she adjusted, she saw Lin Yuewei’s worried face clearly. She stepped forward and hugged her. “I’m fine.”

Someone had been standing behind Lin Yuewei the whole time; only later did Gu Yanqiu realize it was Ran Qingqing.

She didn’t know when Ran Qingqing had arrived; maybe Lin Yuewei had called her over.

Ran Qingqing looked at her gently and opened her arms.

“Mom…” Gu Yanqiu opened her mouth, then swallowed the address that had almost come out. Her eyes filled rapidly with moisture as she said, “Mom.”

Ran Qingqing hugged her tightly and stroked Gu Yanqiu’s long hair with great gentleness.

“It’s all right. Mom is here.”

Author’s note:

Shen Huaiyu got drunk; if you line it up with the timeline, that was when Yin Lingxi was born.

That’s basically it. The Gu family’s matter is mostly resolved, with just a tiny loose end left. Once that’s tied up, we’ll move into the lighter plot ╰(*°▽°*)╯