Reconciliation

When Li Lan woke up, the space beside her was already empty.

She drew back the curtains; the sun was still hanging low on the horizon. It was just after five in the morning.

As daylight slowly climbed higher, Li Lan settled back into the rocking chair on the balcony, with a glass of water and a few pills placed beside her.

These past few years, she had been too busy with work, and because modeling required her to stay thin, she had never had much stamina. After every job, she often had to sleep for an unusually long time just to recover.

And as she got older, Li Lan could feel her body declining in every respect. After staying up late, it took her a long time to get her energy back, and her blood sugar often dropped too low.

Maybe she should change her work schedule, or find a nutritionist to help take care of her body. She still had Zhu Qing and Xiao Bao to look after; she couldn’t afford to fall apart.

Once the discomfort from getting up had passed, Li Lan ate a piece of candy, drank some water, and took the rest of her medication.

Today was the day Zhu Qing was supposed to see the brain specialist. Li Lan went over the questions she needed to ask in her head.

“Mommy.” Li Lan was basking in the sun to make up for vitamin D when Xiao Bao’s soft voice came from behind her. “What time is it?”

“Still early.” Li Lan sat up and waved her over. “Awake already?”

Xiao Bao rubbed her eyes; she was still clutching a little plush cat. She toddled over to Li Lan and fell into her arms.

“Sleepy? If you’re tired, go back to your room and keep sleeping.”

Xiao Bao yawned and said softly, “I’m not sleepy. Auntie Cancan took my bed, so I want to sleep on the sofa.”

“Qian Cancan?” Li Lan paused, then immediately understood. “Zhu Zhu came back last night too?”

Xiao Bao nodded. “Mm. They came back together.”

“Then go sleep with Zhu Zhu.” Li Lan thought for a moment. “Just knock directly. She sleeps deeply and doesn’t wake up easily. If she does wake up, remind her that she’s seeing the doctor today and tell her to get ready and get up early.”

Li Lan guessed that Zhu Qing would most likely come back. She wouldn’t really be angry about something like this; at most, she’d be shy, or a little sulky.

It wasn’t that Li Lan didn’t want to explain. She hadn’t even planned to go all the way to the end in the first place. She had thought that if Zhu Qing really couldn’t hold back, letting her get a little taste wouldn’t matter; she hadn’t expected Zhu Qing to keep surprising her.

Then all that messy stuff had made a dramatic entrance, glinting as it appeared before her.

What was it again? A chain with a gold-and-jade sheen, a gag that wasn’t properly fastened around the neck, a little fluffy accessory, and a whole assortment of chokers and leather paddles.

Of course, Zhu Qing hadn’t dared bring out the later ones; she probably hadn’t even had the nerve to look through all of them.

Li Lan rubbed her brow, barely holding back the upward tug at the corners of her mouth. She patted Xiao Bao’s back. “Go on.”

Zhu Qing had the usual habits of young people: she hated sleeping at night and hated getting up in the morning.

Li Lan didn’t know whether Zhu Qing had slept well last night. If she had stayed up playing on her phone, then she would definitely drag her feet getting up for quite a while today.

Xiao Bao didn’t move. She stayed in Li Lan’s arms for a while and nearly fell asleep again.

Li Lan had no choice but to carry Xiao Bao to Zhu Qing’s room.

She quietly pushed the door open; as expected, Zhu Qing was sleeping soundly, one hand over her face, lying on her side with her back to the door.

Li Lan placed Xiao Bao on the bed. Xiao Bao rolled over, found a comfortable spot, and promptly fell asleep again.

Li Lan turned the air conditioner up a little, draped a light blanket over Xiao Bao’s belly, then pulled Zhu Qing’s blanket back into place as well.

The pale morning light outside seeped through the curtains, casting a thin halo. The room was utterly quiet, broken only by the three of them breathing softly.

Li Lan sat at the head of the bed, patting Xiao Bao’s back. At that moment, the atmosphere was so warm that she almost imagined they had already lived together happily as a family for a very long time.

“Mommy…” Xiao Bao mumbled in her sleep.

Li Lan brushed Xiao Bao’s cheek with the back of her hand and let her keep sleeping.

Xiao Bao puckered her mouth and continued in a tiny voice, “Mommy… I want Zhu Zhu…”

Li Lan couldn’t help laughing.

—

At seven o’clock, the alarm went off right on time. Zhu Qing was still groggy; she was just about to roll over and keep sleeping when a cute little face suddenly appeared right in front of her.

Xiao Bao, with her two crooked little sheep-horn braids, was leaning beside Zhu Qing and staring at her curiously.

“Xiao Bao!?” Zhu Qing said dazedly. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to sleep with Zhu Zhu,” Xiao Bao said, “but Mommy said we can’t sleep anymore. We have to go to the hospital today.”

Zhu Qing groaned and sat up, then reached out and hugged Xiao Bao tightly.

She buried her face in Xiao Bao’s soft little belly. “Ah, I want to sleep…”

“Mommy said Zhu Zhu can’t sleep in today.”

Zhu Qing asked, “What else did your mommy say?”

“She also said not to wake you,” Xiao Bao said clearly, though slowly, sounding especially earnest. “Xiao Bao didn’t wake Zhu Zhu up.”

“And?”

“Mm… she also said we’re both silly, sleeping so long that we’ll sleep the blanket away.”

Zhu Qing lifted her head with a plaintive look. “It’s so hot; she set my air conditioner to twenty-six degrees again.”

Xiao Bao looked up and recited, “Twenty-six, eighteen.”

“Right.” Zhu Qing clapped. “Xiao Bao’s right; the air conditioner should be set to eighteen degrees.”

Xiao Bao blinked and laughed without a care in the world.

After a quick wash, Zhu Qing wanted to pick out something suitable for a hospital visit, preferably sportswear.

When she opened the closet, she found that all the clothes had been neatly arranged. The ones hanging on the outside were all new; many of the tags hadn’t even been removed yet.

Zhu Qing glanced at the price tags and silently put them back.

Then, after thinking about it, she looked at the brand name again. It was one of Li Lan’s endorsements. She hesitated for two seconds, then took it back out.

Free clothes were free clothes.

Mm. She was only doing this for the free clothes, not because of fan photos, and certainly not to make publicity easier or to declare ownership more conveniently.

After changing into a casual set that fit perfectly and was beautifully tailored, Zhu Qing took a selfie in the full-length mirror and turned around once to make sure everything sat right. With a composed expression, she pushed open the door.

In the living room, Qian Cancan, wearing pajamas and a head full of messy hair, turned around and greeted her, “Good morning.”

Zhu Qing glanced at the time. “Aren’t you coming with me to the hospital?”

Qian Cancan looked at her oddly. “Are you sick? Of course I’m going.”

Zhu Qing gave her a hard-to-read look. “Just like that?”

Qian Cancan loved dyeing her hair; one day it was pink, the next day blue. Right now, it was a smoky blue that had faded into a messy yellowish half-and-half color.

If it weren’t for her androgynous, cool, sharp features holding it all together, Zhu Qing would have wanted to shave it into a buzz cut.

“Stop staring at my hair like that,” Qian Cancan said, gathering it up in a few quick motions. Only the little tie at the top remained yellow, and the half-and-half look became somewhat more bearable. “If I shaved it into a crew cut, I’d get kicked out of the women’s restroom.”

She looked Zhu Qing over and shot back, “You’re going to see a doctor, not walk a runway.”

Zhu Qing couldn’t be bothered to argue.

Beside Qian Cancan was Xiao Bao, holding a small bowl and feeding herself. When she spotted Qian Cancan’s little topknot, she said excitedly to Zhu Qing, “I want a topknot too.”

“I’m not sure I can do it.” Zhu Qing walked over and gestured at Xiao Bao’s head, muttering to herself, “Just gather it up like this, right?”

Qian Cancan said speechlessly, “Ugly as hell.”

Zhu Qing awkwardly let go of the hair. Xiao Bao said, “It’s not ugly. The hair Zhu Zhu used to braid for Xiao Bao always looked very nice.”

Zhu Qing wanted to say she had already forgotten, but for some reason, as her fingers held Xiao Bao’s hair, a strange instinct suddenly surfaced. Following muscle memory, she unconsciously twisted the hair up and around; in just a few motions, she had made a neat bun.

“Wow!” Xiao Bao touched the bun on top of her head and happily took a big bite of food. “Zhu Zhu is amazing!”

Qian Cancan said suspiciously, “Have you gotten your memory back?”

This kind of careful, hands-on childcare made Qian Cancan think of Zhu Qing from a month ago.

Zhu Qing shook her head. “No. Maybe it’s muscle memory.”

Qian Cancan shivered. “I thought you’d turned back into a nanny again.”

Zhu Qing clicked her tongue. “I am not a nanny.”

“Not now,” Qian Cancan said, glancing at her. “I hope you won’t be one after you get your memory back either.”

Zhu Qing laughed. “Why are you suddenly saying that?”

Qian Cancan stared at Zhu Qing’s unguarded smile and suddenly felt something strange, as if she had uncovered a clue, yet couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was.

She leaned closer to Zhu Qing and lowered her voice. “Do you remember I told you before that you were really like a nanny? You absolutely can’t go back to being a nanny after you recover your memory…”

“Xiao Qing.”

Their conversation was interrupted by someone.

Li Lan came out carrying two plates.

When Zhu Qing saw Li Lan, neatly dressed and tidy, a flash of amazement crossed her eyes.

Maybe because they hadn’t seen each other for a day, seeing Li Lan again made her eyes brighten.

Li Lan was wearing a blue long dress today. She seemed to really like long dresses; they were convenient and comfortable, and she looked very good in them.

She set the plates down in front of Zhu Qing and Qian Cancan, one breakfast set for each of them, and said warmly, “Eat.”

The last trace of awkwardness in Zhu Qing’s heart faded in Li Lan’s gentle voice. She picked up the plate and bit into a soft bean bun; instantly, she felt comfortable.

Qian Cancan had been interrupted. After a pause, she pointed at the plate and said to Zhu Qing, “For example, cooking. That’s very nanny-like.”

Zhu Qing swallowed a mouthful of rice. “Did I used to cook a lot?”

“Zhu Zhu used to cook for me a lot.” Xiao Bao lifted her head; a grain of rice was stuck at the corner of her mouth.

Zhu Qing wiped the grain of rice from the corner of her mouth and smiled. “That means Xiao Bao was very well-behaved. You deserve a reward.”

Qian Cancan said, “And also…”

Li Lan cut in again, lowering her voice as she said to Xiao Bao, “Did I ever tell you that you have two aunts taking care of you? If you want to eat something, ask them. Don’t ask Zhu Zhu.”

Xiao Bao drooped, her mood sinking. “Oh.”

Qian Cancan looked at Xiao Bao, then at Zhu Qing. She still wanted to keep persuading Zhu Qing, but she also felt that Xiao Bao needed comforting, and for a moment she didn’t know which one to address first.

At that moment, Li Lan looked at Qian Cancan quietly. “Anything else?”

Qian Cancan froze.

“Xiao Qing is not a nanny,” Li Lan said evenly. “She wasn’t one before, and she won’t be one in the future either.”

Qian Cancan frowned, but said nothing.

The atmosphere turned a little stiff. Zhu Qing hurriedly stepped in to smooth things over. “Why are we talking about nannies and not nannies? Don’t worry, I definitely won’t let myself be taken advantage of. Hurry up and eat.”

Qian Cancan had nothing else to say, so she silently finished breakfast.

Zhao Yun came to the house to look after Xiao Bao, and the group set out for the hospital. Li Lan took the back entrance, circled around the inpatient building, and went straight to the ward to find the doctor.

Zhu Qing and Qian Cancan entered through the main entrance, bundled up tightly; this time, no fans recognized them.

The brain specialist was an elderly female professor with an excellent reputation, someone who had worked in clinical practice for more than twenty years and had deep qualifications.

She reviewed Zhu Qing’s examination results one by one, then carefully asked about all kinds of details from daily life.

“My diagnosis is the same as the previous doctor’s,” the specialist said. “There’s no major problem.”

She pointed to the shadow in the scan. “A small subdural hematoma; the amount of bleeding was extremely minor, and it has already stopped on its own. It should be absorbed naturally in a few months.”

After speaking, she hesitated for a moment and shook her head. “But it hasn’t spread, and it doesn’t involve the temporal lobe. It shouldn’t have caused amnesia.”

Li Lan asked, “Then what could be the reason?”

The specialist smiled reassuringly. “It may have something to do with emotions. Emotional swings can easily affect hormone secretion in the brain. This is already the most advanced equipment in the country; after ruling out physical injury, the only thing left is an emotional issue.”

Qian Cancan seemed to remember something and said hesitantly, “Before she lost her memory, her mood wasn’t great. She had just argued with someone, and she was a little gloomy too. Could that be related?”

Li Lan looked at Qian Cancan, her lips pressed together, but said nothing.

The specialist nodded. “Depression, anger, anxiety; all of these can affect a person’s memory. Add in an external impact, and amnesia is indeed possible.”

Zhu Qing said, “Can I recover my memory, then?”

The specialist smiled. “It’s been more than half a month since you lost your memory. Have you felt any of it coming back?”

Zhu Qing thought carefully, then shook her head. “I can’t really tell. It seems like there are some bits. For example, when I eat something, I’ll think of the last time I ate it; but this shop only opened within the past year.”

Qian Cancan and Li Lan both looked at Zhu Qing at once. “Why didn’t you say that before!”

Zhu Qing jumped. “J-just those things. When I’m eating, or walking on the road, I’ll suddenly feel like something is familiar. Nothing else.”

The specialist said with relief, “Then there’s no problem. I’ve seen several cases like this. Most people recover their memories within three months.”

The specialist had already gone this far; pressing further about whether she could recover or when she would recover would be a bit inappropriate.

In the end, Li Lan asked carefully, “Is there anything else we should pay attention to?”

The specialist thought for a moment, then said with a smile, “Relax and stay in a good mood. The less you care about this bit of memory, the sooner you’re likely to recover.”

The three left the hospital, each in a different mood.

Qian Cancan was frustrated and indignant, thinking that Zhu Qing’s amnesia must have something to do with the divorce mess.

Zhu Qing, on the other hand, was fairly open-minded. Although she very much wanted to remember the details of dating Li Lan, being amnesiac wasn’t so bad either; she could fall in love again from the beginning.

Li Lan’s face was a little pale. She shared Qian Cancan’s worry, afraid that Zhu Qing had fallen and lost her memory because of her, and she also had her own concerns; she feared Zhu Qing might permanently lose a year’s worth of memories, and she also feared Zhu Qing would recover and continue fighting with her.

Zhu Qing looked left at this one, then right at that one, and finally swept both hands outward and grabbed one person with each arm. “No more random thoughts. Today I’m treating you both to a meal!”

Li Lan touched her face gently. “I’m sorry.”

Zhu Qing said in a sugary tone, “What are you saying? I didn’t even say anything. You don’t need to apologize.”

Li Lan looked at her deeply, quietly watching Zhu Qing with emotions churning in her eyes.

Qian Cancan coughed. “How about you two go eat by yourselves?”

Zhu Qing came back to herself and looped an arm around Qian Cancan’s neck. “No way. You’re fine, so come with us.”

Qian Cancan yawned and wriggled out of Zhu Qing’s arm. “Nope. You two lovebirds can enjoy your sweet little romance; I’m going to go live my single life.”

Zhu Qing grabbed her. “You’d be so lonely by yourself. There’ll be plenty of time to be single later; you’re not allowed to leave now.”

Qian Cancan had been in a low mood for a while. Other people might not notice, but Zhu Qing could see it clearly and didn’t want to let her leave alone.

Qian Cancan said helplessly, “Then I’m going to see my dear little sisters and enjoy my decadent group life.”

Zhu Qing still wouldn’t let go. “Pah.”

Li Lan leaned close to Zhu Qing’s ear and said softly, “Let her go. Qian Chu will go find her.”

Zhu Qing’s eyes widened instantly. “No! She’s still going to show up at someone’s door!?”

Li Lan spoke in a low voice. “Don’t worry; she won’t go to the house this time. The only way to untie a knot is with the hand that tied it. If you keep holding on to her like this, she won’t be happy either.”

Hearing that, Zhu Qing hesitated and finally loosened her grip. Qian Cancan felt as if she had been pardoned by heaven; she turned around, jumped into a sports car, and disappeared in a flash.

Zhu Qing watched the direction Qian Cancan had gone, still weighing whether this was really appropriate.

“Stop looking.” Li Lan snapped her fingers in front of Zhu Qing. “Where do you want to go next?”

Zhu Qing frowned. “Do you think Cancan and Qian Chu are going to argue again?”

Li Lan kept both hands on the steering wheel and said nothing.

Zhu Qing turned to look at Li Lan and said seriously, “I think Qian Chu has more than one problem. Besides not being able to speak properly, she also doesn’t understand Cancan…”

Li Lan turned Zhu Qing’s chin and kissed her on the lips.

Zhu Qing stopped mid-sentence.

“If you mention Qian Cancan again,” Li Lan started the car and stepped on the gas, her emotions unreadable, “we’ll go home and use that whole pile of things she gave you all over again.”

Zhu Qing clenched her fist: ...angry, but unable to say anything.

————————

Zhu Qing: I’m only worried about my friend.

Li Lan: Then I’m worried about you. Which toy do you like today?

Zhu Qing: ............

TL Note:

“解铃还须系铃人” is a Chinese idiom meaning the person who caused the problem has to solve it (“The only way to untie a knot is with the hand that tied it.”)