Chapter 42

Even after seeing Su Ci’s attitude toward that boy at the hospital entrance last time, and even after hearing from Dai Wen just now that there was a deep grudge between them, Yan Can still felt that even if that boy really did have feelings for Su Ci, as long as Su Ci didn’t like him, there was absolutely no chance they would end up together, not with Su Ci’s personality.

But... Yan Can was unhappy. Very unhappy.

Every emotion was written plainly across her face, and Su Ci thought that sometimes she really did look like a child.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Even when she looked so openly hostile, Su Ci still found her cute.

“Yan Can, if you want to know about me and him—”

“Su Ci!” It was already time to hand over the shift, and a coworker came over to call for her. Su Ci answered, “Coming,” then said to Yan Can, “Wait for me a little longer. I’ll tell you after I’m done.”

She turned to the person washing cups and said, “Ah Wen, help me keep an eye on Yan Can. Don’t let her leave. I’ll be over after I hand over my shift.”

Dai Wen looked up at the two of them with a strange expression. After Su Ci left, he leaned in and asked Yan Can, “Did you two fight?”

What a rare sight. He’d never seen anyone manage to make Su Ci angry, and not just once or twice.

The more Dai Wen looked at Yan Can, the more interesting he found her. “What do you want to drink? My treat.”

Yan Can lifted her eyelids to look at him. “Do you have tequila?”

“No.” Dai Wen refused flatly. “Setting aside the fact that A-Ci won’t let me make you cocktails, how old are you? Are you even an adult, and you’re already drinking?”

Yan Can said, “You listen to Su Ci very well.”

Dai Wen set the washed cup aside and turned to wipe another one. “I’ve known her for so many years. If I don’t listen to her, should I listen to you?”

Yan Can smiled. “Do you know Su Ci listens to me?”

Dai Wen: “So?”

“So...” Yan Can said, “if you listen to Su Ci, and Su Ci listens to me, then shouldn’t you listen to me? I said I want a drink. Tequila.”

After all that circling, she still wanted a drink.

Dai Wen ignored her, thinking that if he stalled a little longer, Su Ci would be back soon. Out loud, he only said perfunctorily, “Oh? Is that so? I really didn’t expect that.”

While they were talking, he saw Su Ci coming this way in casual clothes and finally let out a breath of relief.

“Yan Can?” Su Ci was carrying her backpack, which meant they could go. But Yan Can didn’t move. She was looking at Dai Wen, though her words were for Su Ci. “Su Ci, do you listen to me?”

Su Ci was baffled. She looked at Dai Wen. “Did you give her alcohol?”

Dai Wen shook his head. “I didn’t.”

Yan Can frowned. “I want to drink.”

Su Ci leaned in to look at her. Her skin was fair, and there wasn’t any smell of alcohol on her at all; she didn’t look like she’d been drinking.

Yan Can was still saying, “I want to drink. Tequila.”

Dai Wen spread his hands and shook his head at Su Ci. “Your friend doesn’t seem to be in the best condition today.”

Su Ci’s brows drew together as she took Yan Can’s hand. Yan Can didn’t refuse, and Su Ci easily held on. In a coaxing voice, she said, “All right, let’s drink at home, okay?”

Yan Can looked at her without speaking. Su Ci squeezed her palm, coaxing her like a child. “We’ll go home, okay?”

Her voice was pleasant, soft and gentle; Yan Can’s ears practically went weak from it, and just like that, Su Ci coaxed her home.

The original owner’s home had a wine cabinet; it was a private stash from her cheap father. She had never drunk from it before.

When Yan Can was little, she had tasted a little alcohol before, white liquor, though it could hardly be called drinking. Adults had just dipped chopsticks into the liquor and touched a little to her tongue.

It was spicy and not tasty at all.

She couldn’t say why she wanted to drink today; maybe it was because she felt irritated, or maybe because she was jealous.

She took out a bottle of red wine and finally managed to open it with a corkscrew. She poured herself a small half-glass and took a tiny sip. It was astringent; not good.

She swirled the glass in her hand; the wine clung to the inside and left faint red marks. “Want to try a sip?”

Su Ci stared at the wine stain at the corner of her lips and didn’t speak.

Yan Can glanced at her, then took back the glass she’d offered. “Forget it. A good student like you shouldn’t drink.”

“Try it.” Su Ci grabbed her wrist and leaned in. She used the tip of her tongue to sweep away the bit of wine at the corner of Yan Can’s lips. Under Yan Can’s shocked gaze, she frowned and said, “Astringent.”

“...”

Yan Can hadn’t expected her to taste it like that; her whole face instantly burned red.

Su Ci looked at her and bluntly called out her thoughts. “You’re unhappy today because of him?”

“Are you jealous?”

Who she meant, both of them understood perfectly well.

Yan Can turned her face away, very much not wanting to admit it.

Su Ci sighed and said, “I’ve known him for a long time. He’s my friend; something happened, so we haven’t been in much contact lately.”

Yan Can instantly caught the loophole and said, “But Dai Wen said he secretly came to school to find you; he even gave you gifts, and a few days ago he was blocking you at the hospital... How is that less contact?”

The last sentence was very soft.

“That’s all one-sided on his part.”

Su Ci didn’t usually talk much, but when it came to explaining this matter, she became a little more verbose.

“Back when my parents were still around, he lived across the hall from us. Our fathers got along very well, so I got along with him too, but that was already several years ago. We haven’t been in touch for almost two years. I didn’t know he would also come to the hospital last time; if I had known he’d go that day, I never would have chosen that day to go and see..."

“Yan Can, you really don’t need to care about him.”

After another sigh, she added, “We’re just friends. Him so stubbornly looking for me isn’t because he likes me; it’s just because he—”

When she got to this point, she hesitated, as if struggling over whether to say it or not. She pressed her lips together, then looked at Yan Can with unwavering eyes, as though she had finally decided to tell her something.

“It’s a long story. Yan Can, if you want to hear it, I’ll tell you slowly right now.”

She was comforting her. Realizing that, Yan Can’s heart softened again. She looked up at Su Ci and saw that the usually cool, detached face was carrying a trace of pain that was hard to notice.

“You—” Yan Can turned her face away. “You’d better not say it.”

Su Ci shook her head; she didn’t want the two of them to grow distant because of this matter again.

“I want to tell you.” Su Ci held her cheeks in both hands and forced her to look at her. Her voice was light and slow. “I want you to know. I want to tell you about my past.”

Yan Can looked at her and nodded very slightly. Only then did Su Ci let go. The two of them sat facing each other on the soft carpet as Su Ci slowly told her:

“I used to be neighbors with him and Dai Wen. I had a girl friend I was very, very close with.” As she said this, she looked at Yan Can’s reaction; Yan Can’s eyes told her she had probably already found this out. “Her name was Zheng Mo.”

Yan Can inhaled sharply. In Secretary Cen’s investigation, that girl had died in an accident.

“That day he was drinking with friends at a bar. He lost at Truth or Dare, and they made him call the first person in his contacts and ask them to come to the bar to confess on the spot..."

Su Ci still remembered that day. Not long after school had started, she was working a part-time job at a barbecue restaurant, and she had to stay until 11:30 p.m. Zheng Mo was worried that it wouldn’t be safe for her to go home alone after work at night, so for those few days she came every night to wait for her.

“A-Ci, you never keep me company on your birthday.” Zheng Mo complained on purpose. “After midnight, you have to be the first one to say happy birthday to me.”

“Sorry. The boss is short-handed today. After I get off work, whatever you want to eat, I’ll treat you,” Su Ci said.

After ten o’clock, the barbecue stall became so busy it was impossible to stop. After saying a few words to her, Su Ci was busy greeting customers and cleaning up again.

Just then, the phone Su Ci had accidentally left on the table vibrated a few times. Zheng Mo glanced at the busy figure nearby; after seeing that it was Huo Tian, she answered without thinking.

Su Ci had fallen into the memory. “That night, after Zheng Mo answered the call, she got into an accident on the way to the bar. A parked electric bike by the roadside suddenly exploded; Zheng Mo’s car was caught off guard and got dragged in together with innocent pedestrians nearby. They tried to save her the entire night, but she still couldn’t be saved..."

“After it happened, he blamed himself. I know no one wanted this to happen; he didn’t want it either. But I just couldn’t forgive him, and I couldn’t forgive myself either. If back then, if I had gone—”

“Su Ci!” Fearing she might say something inauspicious, Yan Can grabbed her shoulders and said sternly, “This has nothing to do with you.”

“The next day was her birthday. I hadn’t even had time to say happy birthday to her.”

After that incident, Su Ci spent a long time having dreams at night, always dreaming of that day; Zheng Mo was sitting in that seat, playing a mobile game while waiting for her.

She was waiting for her birthday blessing. She left before she even turned sixteen.

“I’m sorry, Su Ci.”

Yan Can was filled with remorse. She hadn’t expected Zheng Mo to have left like that.

She shouldn’t have poked at her wound. “I’m sorry, Su Ci.”

Su Ci shook her head. She forced down her tears and managed a smile through the strain. “Don’t apologize to me.”

She looked into Yan Can’s eyes. “So now you should understand that there’s absolutely no possibility between him and me. Don’t be jealous of him, okay?”

Yan Can’s nose stung, and tears started falling in a patter. So Su Ci had said all this to tell her that she and that boy had absolutely no chance.

How selfish of her.

Yan Can wanted nothing more than to slap herself a few times. Her palm slid down, and she caught Su Ci’s hand. Her fingers slipped between Su Ci’s, and Su Ci tightened her grip in return, locking their fingers together.

Neither of them said anything, but through each other’s eyes and the gradually tightening strength of their clasp, they could feel the other’s emotions.

“Oh, right.” Remembering what Dai Wen had said, Su Ci asked her, “Ah Wen said you were worried about a birthday present?”

Yan Can wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and sniffled. Frowning, she said, “How can that grown man be so talkative?”

“I do have a gift I want.” Su Ci said, “Only you have this thing.”

So suggestive? Yan Can’s thoughts immediately went in another direction.

If Su Ci wanted it, it wasn’t like she couldn’t give it.

Su Ci didn’t know what she was thinking. Seeing her drift off, she hooked her little finger with Yan Can’s and said,

“I want one promise from you.”

Yan Can: “?”

That wasn’t what she’d imagined. Still, of course; Su Ci wasn’t her.

“Will you give it to me?” she asked.

“What promise?”

“You can’t tell me now.” Su Ci said, “Just keep it for me first.”

“Making it that mysterious?” Yan Can muttered softly.

Su Ci let out a very light laugh. “Don’t worry. I won’t make you do anything illegal or criminal. You can do it.”

Then she added, “And only you can do it.”