Chapter 24

Silence. A long, drawn-out silence.

She couldn’t tell whether Su Ci hadn’t heard her or simply thought the question was pointless and didn’t want to answer.

Yan Can figured it was the latter.

When the car passed a pastry shop, Yan Can asked Chen Shu to stop.

“I’ll go buy some steamed cakes.”

How could Chen Shu let her go herself, especially with her injury? He said at once, “Miss, that’s too inconvenient for you. I’ll go.”

Without giving her a chance to refuse, he unbuckled his seat belt and got out immediately.

Once Chen Shu left, the car was left with just her and Su Ci again.

Yan Can wasn’t a quiet person; whenever someone was around, she always wanted to talk about something. Especially now, with the atmosphere this strange.

She could clearly feel that ever since she’d blurted out that question, Su Ci’s whole aura had turned colder.

It really had been too abrupt. No matter how you looked at it, that kind of question was private.

“Su Ci, I asked that without thinking just now. I wasn’t trying to pry into your privacy, so don’t take it to heart.”

In front of Su Ci, Yan Can always instinctively lowered her head and apologized. “I won’t be so abrupt again. Don’t be angry, okay?”

Her words were sincere enough, but her eyes didn’t dare meet Su Ci’s at all.

Honestly, Su Ci really was beautiful, but when she put on that cold face, she was genuinely cold.

In the middle of summer, Yan Can even felt as if she were being frostbitten.

Su Ci’s gaze slowly moved from outside the window to her face.

Feeling that look land on her, Yan Can also turned her head.

Their eyes unexpectedly met. Yan Can’s heart skipped two beats for no reason, and she subconsciously looked away.

A little awkwardly, she shifted sideways to put some distance between them.

“Why did you suddenly ask that?” Su Ci’s voice was calm, without the slightest fluctuation. “Why ask me?”

“Ah?” Yan Can needed a moment to react before her brain finally caught up; this person was answering that ridiculous question she’d tossed out on a whim several minutes ago.

But she was the one who’d asked. Fine if Su Ci didn’t answer, but why was she throwing the question back at her?

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Su Ci looked straight into her eyes. Yan Can met those beautiful light-brown eyes and was once again stunned by her face.

Su Ci really was, really pretty.

Swallowing unconsciously, Yan Can admitted, “I-I was just curious!”

“Curious about what?”

Yan Can hadn’t expected her to ask that. It didn’t fit her cool, aloof image at all.

Su Ci shouldn’t have been interested in this kind of thing… so why was she pressing her as if she were very interested?

She didn’t answer and instead smiled slyly. “Hey, Su Ci, I didn’t know you were that kind of person.”

Su Ci frowned. “What kind of person?”

“Just…” Yan Can realized Su Ci was actually talking quite a lot today, and she was starting to have trouble keeping up. She was supposed to be the one asking Su Ci questions, so why was she the one being questioned over and over? Yan Can said unhappily, “You’ve got so many questions today.”

Su Ci looked at her face, turned her head away, and said nothing.

Yan Can…

Huh? Why wasn’t she talking again? Yan Can licked her lips and called her name softly.

Su Ci seemed a little impatient as she frowned and turned back to look at her, wearing the expression of someone who thought: you’d better actually have something to say.

Yan Can shivered and asked in a low voice, “Then have you?”

Yan Can didn’t know why she was so fixated on this question today.

Had she? No. But she just didn’t want to answer.

Probably because she’d realized Su Ci was still relatively easy to talk to right now, Yan Can got the urge to tease this ice block again. She moved a little closer to Su Ci, leaned over, and whispered in her ear, “Tell me secretly—have you ever kissed anyone?”

Before crossing over, Yan Can had only just started college; she was still at the age when she had all kinds of beautiful expectations for sex and love.

Thinking back to the couple she’d just seen, she said with a trace of longing, “What do you think kissing actually feels like? Look at that couple we just saw; they were kissing like they wanted to eat each other alive. Do you think kissing is really that—”

Before she could finish, Su Ci turned her head and interrupted her. “Yan Can—”

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

Yan Can turned her head. The two of them were very close. The cool scent on the other girl’s body seemed almost tangible, curling around her in wisps and threads. She felt a little short of breath, as if she were about to run out of oxygen.

They were really too close…

She instinctively tried to move away, but Su Ci’s voice sounded again. “You want to know?”

Yan Can answered without thinking, “Yeah.”

“Then—”

Su Ci’s breath swept across her face. Realizing what the other girl was about to do, Yan Can widened her eyes in disbelief, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it might leap out of her chest.

The imagined kiss never landed, because Yan Can turned her head away a split second ahead.

The kiss missed.

She had rejected Su Ci’s kiss.

Her heart was still pounding wildly, and her chest felt tight too. That sensation left Yan Can a little breathless.

Before she could even steady her breathing, she realized what she had just done and immediately looked at Su Ci.

Was it her imagination?

It seemed like she’d seen a flash of hurt in Su Ci’s eyes.

Yan Can blinked twice, wanting to see more clearly, but Su Ci had already returned to her usual cold expression.

“Su Ci, just now—” Once she’d calmed down, Yan Can wanted to explain why she’d dodged her, but Su Ci didn’t want to hear it. “I have something to do. I’m leaving first.”

Before Yan Can could react, she opened the door and stepped into the crowd.

.

When Chen Shu came back after buying the steamed cakes, only Yan Can was left in the car.

“Where’s Miss Su Ci?” She had a pretty good impression of this young lady from school, so seeing she wasn’t there, she asked instinctively.

Yan Can looked as if she’d only just come back to her senses. Glancing at the empty seat beside her, she said, “She had something to do and left first.”

The driver gave an oh and handed her the steamed cakes. “I bought two portions.”

Yan Can took them without saying anything.

.

Back at the hospital, Yan Can was still thinking about Su Ci’s strange behavior.

Why had she suddenly kissed her? Su Ci didn’t seem like someone who would casually take liberties with other people.

Just because Yan Can had said she wanted to know what kissing felt like, Su Ci had suddenly leaned over and kissed her?

She must have left in anger because Yan Can dodged her, right?

With a personality as proud as hers, being rejected like that must have hurt badly…

But Yan Can really hadn’t meant it. It had just been an instinctive reaction; if anyone had done that to her, she would have done the same.

Still, the other person was a girl, and that girl was Su Ci…

Lying in bed, Yan Can’s mind was full of that fleeting, hurt expression on Su Ci’s face.

Would Su Ci think it was humiliating, or feel upset, or hate her because of this…

But Yan Can wasn’t wrong either; who wouldn’t instinctively dodge if someone suddenly leaned in to kiss them?

Ahhhhhh Yan Can was ready to tear her hair out; she really didn’t know what to do.

Maybe she should let Su Ci reject her back?

Yan Can couldn’t figure out what to do. She forced herself not to think about it and took out her phone to play a match-three game.

The aunt came out of the inner room, saw the newly bought steamed cakes on the table, and remembered that Yan Can hadn’t eaten much at dinner. She asked whether she wanted to eat a few pieces.

Yan Can glanced over, then had a sudden idea. She exited the game, took a photo of the cakes, and sent it to Su Ci: Chen Shu bought two portions; let me send you one.

After sending the message, she stared nervously at her phone.

Not long after, the other side replied: No need.

If she replied, then she probably wasn’t angry anymore, right…

Yan Can: What are you doing?

No reply.

Yan Can: The cakes are really good. Are you sure you don’t want any?

Still no reply.

Yan Can: Are you mad?

Still nothing.

No matter what Yan Can sent after that, the other side never replied again.

It was over. Su Ci was definitely angry.

…

Yan Can stayed in the hospital for a week. By the time she returned to school, it was already the end of September, and the next day would be the National Day holiday.

Zhang Ru said there was absolutely no need for her to come; after all, they’d only have two days of class before the long break.

Yan Can’s answer to that was, “I love studying.”

That wasn’t a lie, but it also carried a private motive.

Ever since that incident, Yan Can had lost all contact with Su Ci. No matter whether she called or texted, the other girl ignored her.

It felt exactly like being dumped off a cliff.

That feeling was far too awful.

So on the fifth day of her hospitalization, she really couldn’t hold back anymore and went to wait near the place where Su Ci worked part-time.

Just as she expected, the other girl treated her like air. Even when Yan Can deliberately lifted a glass of wine in front of her as if she were going to drink, Su Ci ignored her.

Yan Can felt like the sky was about to collapse.

Because of Su Ci’s indifference, she couldn’t sleep peacefully night after night. It really wasn’t an exaggeration; it was just like heartbreak.

Although she’d never actually fallen in love, back in college, when her roommate got dumped, she was exactly like this: she wouldn’t eat or drink, cried her eyes out every day, and spent every night going over what she’d done wrong and where she hadn’t been good enough to make the other person leave so decisively…

Yan Can felt that compared to her, she was even worse.

Her roommate had gotten over it in three days, but she couldn’t. She thought about it every day, and it left her unable to do anything with any energy.

She felt that if this went on, and this wasn’t an exaggeration, she really would have her heart broken.

Yan Can had looked up Su Ci’s class schedule. They had PE at the same time that afternoon.

Because of her injury, she didn’t need to attend PE, so as soon as class started, she left the group and waited off to the side in the shade.

Now she was standing behind the formation of Class Two, Grade Eleven, waiting for Su Ci’s class to be dismissed so she could go over and find her.

She wanted to talk to Su Ci properly and tell her that she really hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings.

“Hey, isn’t that Yan Can senior?”

“She’s been looking over here the whole time. Is she waiting for someone?”

As they were doing warm-up exercises, voices came from behind them. Hearing a familiar name, Su Ci still looked up unconsciously.

Not far away, under the shade of a tree, Yan Can pressed a bottle of mineral water to her cheek, her gaze fixed in this direction.

“Why are you talking during warm-ups? Think it’s not hot enough and you want to do it all over again?”

The PE teacher’s dissatisfied voice came from behind them, and everyone immediately fell silent and did the warm-ups properly.

After the teacher walked away, the crowd started whispering again.

“Hey, not gonna lie, they do look pretty good standing together.”

“So they really are a couple? I thought the forum was just making things up.”

“Is it true or not? Just ask Su Ci, wouldn’t that solve it? Aren’t she and Yan Can really close?”

“Hey, Su Ci!”

A girl behind her called out.

Su Ci turned back. The girl tipped her chin toward one side. “Are they really together?”

“What?” Su Ci followed the direction of the girl’s gesture and looked over. The Yan Can who had just been standing alone in the shade now had a boy beside her; it was Zhou Yang from their class.

“They’re a couple?” The girl looked at her with an eager, gossip-hungry expression.

Su Ci withdrew her gaze and said coldly, “I don’t know.”

If she didn’t know, then she didn’t know; what kind of attitude was that? The girl didn’t dare say it to her face and silently grumbled about her a few times in her heart.

After warm-ups, they ran two laps, and the teacher called for dismissal.

The crowd dispersed. Su Ci didn’t even look toward Yan Can’s side; she lifted a foot and headed straight for the teaching building.

The person who had been waiting aside for them to be dismissed hurried over to her. “Su Ci!”

Yan Can rushed toward her in a few quick steps. Maybe because it had been too long since she’d spoken to her, she suddenly didn’t know what to say first.

“If you have something to say, say it quickly; it’s hot here.” Her tone was not very good.

Sensing that she was still angry, Yan Can immediately said, “Last time, I didn’t mean to dodge you. Please don’t be mad.”

After saying that, she waited for Su Ci’s reaction.

Su Ci had no reaction at all; she merely gave her an extremely cold look, then turned to leave.

Seeing her like that, Yan Can panicked and hurried forward to grab her wrist. “Wait, Su Ci, you—”

“Huff—” Su Ci let out a long breath and looked at her with icy eyes. “I’m not angry. May I ask what else Miss Yan wants from me?”

Yan Can had never seen her look at her like this before. It was colder than at any previous moment, so cold it frightened her. Though she herself didn’t even know exactly what she was afraid of, Yan Can really hated her indifference, hated her avoiding her, hated her not talking to her, hated the ice-cold look in her eyes now when she looked at her…

All of it frightened her.

She had a lot to say, but it felt as if her throat had been sealed with cement; under that icy gaze, she couldn’t force out a single word.

Seeing that she still said nothing, Su Ci’s patience was completely exhausted. Frowning, she directly shook off her hand and strode away.

Watching Su Ci’s figure grow distant, Yan Can stood frozen in place. Only after someone patted her shoulder did she come back to herself. Secretly wiping at her eyes with her sleeve, she plopped down on the ground and buried her face in her knees.

TL Note:

National Day holiday (国庆长假) = China’s week-long holiday around Oct. 1.

Miss Yan (颜大小姐) = a teasing, slightly mocking way to address a young lady from a wealthy family.