Rainy Night: I Was Wrong, Sister Xiaoqing

The rainy night was pitch black. Liang Xiaoqing hurried along the teacher dormitory building toward the school, the rain growing more ferocious by the minute. She'd rushed out in such a hurry that she'd only grabbed an umbrella—though that was better than nothing.

Tonight's wind was especially strong, flipping the umbrella inside out several times. To reach the school, she had to cross a muddy path, and she picked her way carefully over the muck, afraid she'd slip and tumble into the fields at any moment. Most of her was soaked through, her clothes splattered with mud. The rain was so heavy—she worried about Jiang Xu. She called out Jiang Xu's name as she walked, her voice instantly swallowed by the pouring downpour.

She finally reached the school. Water curtains hung beneath the streetlights on both sides, and Liang Xiaoqing could barely make out the path. She tucked the flashlight into her pocket and paced back and forth around the school twice. There was nothing but rain, no other sound, no other person in sight.

"...Xiao Xu..." The umbrella flipped inside out again, its frame about to snap. Liang Xiaoqing held it over her head, barely shielding herself from the rain. Water soaked her hair and face. She wiped her face with her hand and walked aimlessly forward. She had no idea where Jiang Xu might go, and feared even more that something had happened to her. Now that she'd truly seen this storm, she understood how terrifying it was.

She regretted it, but regret was meaningless. She wasn't all-powerful; she had moments of weakness too. Sometimes she wished Jiang Xu could understand her. She hadn't meant to say those words. Jiang Xu should understand what she meant. They'd lived together this long; a few words shouldn't drive a wedge between them.

But Jiang Xu was just a fifteen-year-old girl... Perhaps it was the maturity beyond her years that made Liang Xiaoqing think Jiang Xu could handle what she'd said.

She found nothing, so she turned back. Clinging to the hope that Jiang Xu would be waiting at the door, she abandoned the umbrella entirely on the way back, letting the rain soak her through. She even slipped and fell, covering her jeans in mud.

Disappointment hit bottom—the door was empty. Her heart raced; she had to go out searching again.

The rain had eased somewhat, now a fine drizzle. In the night, she could hear raindrops landing on leaves, a soft patter.

The sound of rain sharpened Liang Xiaoqing's mind. Where would Jiang Xu be now? She thought she should check Jiang Xu's home. With a clear head, she had direction.

The door next to hers opened, and out came Yang Man, who was about to go to sleep.

Yang Man had just received a call—from the parent of one of her students. She rubbed her tired brow, expecting another troublesome call. On the other end was Jiang Erya's mother, who said, "Teacher Yang, hello, I'm Jiang Erya's mother. My daughter told me you're Teacher Liang Xiaoqing's neighbor. Jiang Xu is at my house. Could you let Teacher Liang know? I'm sorry to bother you so late..."

Yang Man usually went to bed early, rising early too. At this hour she'd normally already be asleep, but tonight's storm had made the sky darker than usual. Yang Man was so sleepy her eyelids were nearly shut, but the moment she heard "Jiang Xu," her eyes flew open.

"Jiang Xu?..." Jiang Xu should be at Liang Xiaoqing's house—that would make sense. And it was raining so hard outside.

This couldn't wait. Wei Shufen briefly explained: "My daughter saw her at the door just now and invited her in." She didn't know the specifics.

"Alright, I understand." Yang Man hung up in a rush and headed out to knock on Liang Xiaoqing's door. The sight when she opened it nearly startled her to death!

"Xiaoqing! What happened to you!"

Liang Xiaoqing looked like a complete drowned rat. Yang Man exclaimed, "You're heading out again now?!"

Liang Xiaoqing's face flushed with embarrassment, but she couldn't spare much thought for it. She just said, "I'm going to find Jiang Xu."

Yang Man quickly stopped her: "Jiang Xu is at Jiang Erya's house. Her mother called me."

Liang Xiaoqing's eyes flickered. "At Jiang Erya's house?"

Yang Man looked at her and guessed something was going on. Her drowsiness vanished. She pulled Liang Xiaoqing into her home. "Did something happen between you and Jiang Xu? Why don't you tell me about it, and I'll give you some advice."

What could have happened? Liang Xiaoqing was suddenly reminded of that scorching, barely concealed gaze in Jiang Xu's eyes, and it burned her like a touch. She avoided Yang Man's gaze—was it shame? Or guilt? She declined: "No need, Sister Yang."

She opened and closed the door in utter disarray, not giving Yang Man a chance to say another word. She was a mess. If anyone instinctively tried to probe into their relationship, Liang Xiaoqing felt a guilty ache. She pressed her back hard against the door, yet her whole body relaxed at last. Slow, bone-deep fear softened her limbs. She couldn't hold herself up, slowly sliding down until she collapsed on the floor like a puddle of water.

At least Jiang Xu was safe.

If anything had happened to Jiang Xu, she wouldn't know how to face Jiang Xu's mother, Wang Cai. Jiang Xu had real feelings for Wang Cai; Liang Xiaoqing had seen Jiang Xu cry the hardest during the period after Wang Cai's death.

She was angry and sad at once—angry at Jiang Xu for leaving without a word, and saddened by her own words. It took a while to steady her emotions before she picked herself up off the floor, her arms still a little weak. She walked to the desk, switched on the desk lamp, and saw a few scattered test papers on the surface.

She thought again that she couldn't really hold a grudge against Jiang Xu. She sniffled—must have caught a chill from the rain. She tucked the messy test papers into the bottom drawer. When she opened it, a palm-sized porcelain urn startled her.

She clearly remembered this was Wang Cai's cremation urn. At first glance, it was dark and dull. Liang Xiaoqing steadied her heartbeat, shut the drawer, and straightened the papers, laying them flat on the desk.

She'd known Jiang Xu had taken the urn—she'd assumed Jiang Xu would bring it home or bury it. Spotting it here so suddenly was a bit frightening. So Jiang Xu had been keeping it safe all along. That made her feel a little uneasy, as if she'd inexplicably gained a deeper understanding of Jiang Xu.

"Achoo!" Liang Xiaoqing sneezed. She was freezing, her wet clothes clinging to her skin, a bone-deep chill seeping through her. She took a hot shower to warm herself up. Under the spray, she splashed water over her face, letting it run down her cheeks. She closed her eyes, thinking she'd go to Jiang Erya's house tomorrow to pick Jiang Xu up and have a proper talk.

Of course, that wasn't a sign of softening; it would only reinforce her resolve.

After her shower, Liang Xiaoqing sank deep into bed the moment she lay down. She dozed for a while, thinking Jiang Xu was beside her, but when she opened her eyes, the room held only herself. She was so tired she could barely move, and soon she drifted off, her eyes half-lidded. This sleep was especially deep, nearly impossible to wake from.

The next day, when she tried to get up, she was forced right back down the moment she sat up. Her head was heavy, dizzy, her eyelids weighted, never getting enough sleep. She fell back onto the bed and stared at the old ceiling, wondering for a moment if she was going to die.

She couldn't get up, her limbs weak. She tried to move her throat to speak—it was difficult.

She must have caught a cold, and it had hit her hard and fast. Liang Xiaoqing gritted her teeth and forced herself out of bed, brewed a cup of cold medicine, and when she couldn't hold on any longer, collapsed onto the sofa and drifted back into a daze.

Some said a cold was the body purging toxins. She hadn't had one in a long time, so she'd treat it as a detox. Liang Xiaoqing knew she couldn't possibly go to class like this, so she forced herself to call Yang Man and ask her to take leave for her. Yang Man was very concerned and asked if she should take her to the clinic. Liang Xiaoqing didn't want to trouble others too much, so she declined.

Yang Man told her to take her cold medicine and drink plenty of water.

She did drink a lot of water. She figured she'd be fine; her strong immune system would repair her body, and she just needed rest. But she kept thinking she still needed to pick Jiang Xu up, so the matter lingered in her mind.

What would she say when they met?

Jiang Xu was stubborn—what if she refused to come back?

Liang Xiaoqing worried about all sorts of things, then quickly fell asleep again, losing consciousness.

She felt this cold was worse than any she'd had before.

She slept deeply, deeper than she ever had. She didn't want to wake up, because she'd face an empty room.

Maybe she was too hungry, but she caught a whiff of fragrance—a thick, rich scent of rice porridge. She could also hear faint sounds from time to time, as if there were another person in the house.

She was roused by the smell. When she opened her eyes, everything was hazy. The rain had cleared, and harsh sunlight streamed in through the window, a little too warm. Liang Xiaoqing shielded her eyes with her hand and realized a thin blanket had been laid over her. No wonder she felt so hot—just lying there had her breaking out in a sweat.

Her body still felt heavy, but she couldn't stand the heat anymore, so she sat up, slowly leaning against the sofa, and threw off the blanket. The faint sounds she'd heard weren't her imagination—when her gaze focused, she saw a figure bustling in the kitchen.

Her heart suddenly fluttered with anxiety and a jumble of mixed emotions. She couldn't quite name the feeling, but amid the sourness, there was a touch of relief.

Jiang Xu was back.

She seemed to settle down, no longer worried. She felt she could finally have a proper talk with Jiang Xu. She was still angry at Jiang Xu for not listening, unaware that children as well-behaved as Jiang Xu were already rare.

Besides, she'd said such harsh words last night.

"...Sister Xiaoqing, you're awake."

Jiang Xu's voice cut through Liang Xiaoqing's thoughts. Jiang Xu came out of the kitchen, holding a bowl of porridge still steaming.

"...Mm." Slightly embarrassed, she didn't know where to look, but she had to put on the dignified air of an elder before a younger one. She stayed seated on the sofa, though her back straightened a little. Jiang Xu walked over and set the porridge on the coffee table. "Sister Xiaoqing, you have a fever. Have some porridge."

"..."

A fever—Liang Xiaoqing instinctively touched her forehead.

Jiang Xu stood beside her, watching.

That unsettling, scorching look was gone from her eyes, and Liang Xiaoqing relaxed a little.

Jiang Xu's face was flushed, her temple hair soaked with sweat from the heat. Liang Xiaoqing glanced at her, then looked away when their eyes met, fixing her gaze on the porridge in the bowl.

"...I was wrong, Sister Xiaoqing." Jiang Xu stood there, perfectly straight. "...I'll change my application." She paused, and Liang Xiaoqing's eyes met hers again.

Jiang Xu's gaze flickered. "Sister Xiaoqing, remember to drink the porridge... I'll go do my homework now."

With that, Jiang Xu really did leave, not giving Liang Xiaoqing a chance to say anything.

Watching Jiang Xu's awkward, cautious manner, Liang Xiaoqing blamed herself. She'd been the one to speak without thinking.

She wanted to say something, but Jiang Xu wisely stayed out of her sight.