Leave: I'm Sorry, Xiao Xu

The view before her dimmed as the sun sank behind the mountains, leaving only a faint glow staining the sky. She spotted Wang Cai limping toward her, as if she had been waiting a long time.

Jiang Xu slowed, moving forward until she nearly stood still. A buzzing filled her ears. She couldn't believe it, mechanically raising a hand to rub her eyes. Her vision blurred, then cleared, and she stared hard, only then realizing she hadn't been mistaken.

Her first instinct was to look around frantically. Wherever Wang Cai was, Jiang Daguo was never far behind. She feared he might appear from some corner, ready to kick or slap her.

Jiang Daguo hit hard and never held back. If you showed even a hint of fear or begged for mercy, he only hit harder, as if your cowardice fueled his rage.

As a child, Jiang Xu had tried begging him once, and that was exactly what happened. That time, he nearly beat her to death. It was only because Wang Cai threw herself in front of her, taking the blows, that she managed to escape.

She was drenched in sweat from the intense run, and the wind made her shiver. Jiang Xu clutched her schoolbag straps but couldn't move, waiting for Wang Cai to approach.

Wang Cai looked dark and hunched. When she stood before Jiang Xu, she let out a sigh. "Jiang Xu..."

Jiang Xu's ears twitched, the light in her eyes fading into lifelessness. She knew what Wang Cai's arrival meant. But the life she had now was too good, better than anything she'd ever dreamed. The past was something she'd only known in a previous life.

She didn't say a word, wishing it were all fake, wishing she could pretend Wang Cai didn't exist. She truly didn't know how to give up a future so full of hope and brightness. But she also noticed how wretched the woman before her looked. In the dim light, she saw fresh marks on Wang Cai's face, one eye swollen shut from a beating.

Jiang Xu clenched her bag straps fiercely, her fingertips trembling. The chill made her shrink into herself. "He hit you again..."

She didn't know how she managed to speak.

"..."

Wang Cai silently watched her, then tugged at her hand. "Come back with me."

Fear, anger, loss—all kinds of nameless feelings churned in her chest. Jiang Xu pulled her hand free, lowering her eyes without a word.

"Come on, don't make your father angry again."

"Why don't you fight back? If he hits you, you just let him!" Jiang Xu's voice carried confused anger.

"..."

Wang Cai grabbed her arm again, pushing her outward.

For no reason at all, Jiang Xu reached a peak of fury. She yanked her arm away. "I'm not going back!" She had never been so resolute. Her chest heaved. "It was you... you asked Sister Xiaoqing to take me away. I'm not going back. I don't want to go back anymore..."

"...But your father runs the household, after all."

"...Was it Sister Xiaoqing who told me to leave?" Jiang Xu asked, not believing it herself.

How could that be? It was Liang Xiaoqing who took her from that dark, hopeless home. It was Liang Xiaoqing who said she could stay as long as she wanted. It was Liang Xiaoqing who said her fate was in her own hands. It was Liang Xiaoqing who said she would always support her and never give up on her.

To escape the mountains, she had to work twice as hard.

She knew Liang Xiaoqing was kind-hearted, and she knew living off her was shameless, but Liang Xiaoqing was the only one willing to reach out and pull her up.

Her life had just started to get on track. How could she be dragged back again?

Jiang Xu would repay Liang Xiaoqing, be grateful for the rest of her life.

But Wang Cai's silence made Jiang Xu uneasy too.

Wang Cai said, "Jiang Xu, come back with me first. We'll think of something later."

Jiang Xu felt a pang of sorrow. "If I go back, can I still study?"

"..."

Jiang Xu strode forward in big steps, ignoring Wang Cai's attempts to stop her.

Wang Cai had been beaten too badly. She wobbled unsteadily, her thin, withered body unable to block Jiang Xu. Jiang Xu had grown taller, her face fuller, her skin glowing. The Jiang Xu of the past had been far too skinny.

Wang Cai hurried after her, half-walking half-running, stumbling. She grabbed Jiang Xu's arm. "Jiang Xu! An arm can't twist a thigh. If you don't listen to your father, he'll..." As if remembering something, she let out a heavy, helpless sigh. "...Jiang Xu, just listen to me. Come back with me!"

"No...!" Jiang Xu shook her off. "I'm not going back, unless Sister Xiaoqing says so herself."

That was impossible. Liang Xiaoqing would never kick her out. And she had done so well on this exam; Liang Xiaoqing should be very happy.

How could Sister Xiaoqing ever send her away?

"Hey!"

Jiang Xu practically ran up the stairs. Wang Cai couldn't keep up, leaning against the wall and sighing repeatedly. "Jiang Xu!..."

For things you didn't know, you always had to verify, whether the outcome was good or bad. Besides, things should be just as Jiang Xu thought.

She went up too fast, her heart pounding wildly. She had mentally prepared herself, yet worry still crept in.

Various sounds came from the apartments lining the corridor—chatter, arguments, the sizzle of cooking. Smoke drifted slowly out of the rooms. The last traces of the setting sun faded bit by bit. On this floor where Liang Xiaoqing lived, few people stayed, and the corridor was quiet.

Jiang Xu let go of her bag straps and clutched the hem of her clothes instead. She suddenly slowed, moving step by step toward the innermost room.

She told herself over and over not to overthink, but it had the opposite effect, making her more and more nervous. A path she could usually walk in no time now seemed impossibly long.

After what felt like forever, Jiang Xu finally stood at the door. She glanced inside—it was pitch black. She wiped the sweat from her forehead; she had run up too fast.

Once mentally ready, she took out her key to unlock the door. Liang Xiaoqing had gotten a key made for her a while back, saying they would sometimes be apart, and if Jiang Xu didn't have a key, she wouldn't be able to get in. She also said Jiang Xu didn't want to stay at Yang Man's place for a bit.

Although Liang Xiaoqing usually didn't say much, she was sharp as a tack. She noticed Jiang Xu didn't seem too close to Yang Man, though she didn't know why.

Jiang Xu always remembered the times when, without a key, she sat outside the door doing homework while waiting for Liang Xiaoqing to come back. Back then, she wasn't familiar with Liang Xiaoqing yet, and she kept worrying that Liang Xiaoqing might change her mind one day and send her back.

She fumbled, the key slipping past the keyhole. The cold evening wind hit her back. Downstairs, a couple seemed to be arguing. The woman's shrill voice pierced the air. "Get out! Get out and never come back!"

"Bang!" The door slammed shut, shaking the whole building.

Jiang Xu closed her eyes, then inserted the key into the lock. This time, it finally found its mark.

The door creaked open from the inside.

"...You're back."

Jiang Xu was startled. "Sister Xiaoqing."

"Mm..."

The person before her was only a blurry silhouette. Jiang Xu didn't know why Liang Xiaoqing hadn't turned on the lights.

"Come in first." Liang Xiaoqing opened the door wider and walked inside.

Her back looked a bit dejected, whether from exhaustion or something else, Jiang Xu couldn't tell. At that moment, Jiang Xu couldn't think at all. Her mind went blank. She did whatever Liang Xiaoqing said, casting aside all her worries. Wang Cai was shut out. Jiang Daguo was shut out. Her old life was shut out.

The door closed, and she was like a different person. She had nothing to worry about.

The night outside was shallow, stars hanging in the sky. Inside, it was even darker.

Layers of thick shadow covered Jiang Xu's eyes, her gaze fixed on that silhouette ahead.

She stepped inside, the noisy sounds sealed off behind the door. The room was much warmer, a faint, subtle fragrance drifting through every corner.

Jiang Xu could tell Liang Xiaoqing wasn't in a good mood. She didn't need to ask—she could hear it in the flat tone of her voice just now. The lights were off, and Jiang Xu didn't turn them on either. She endured the vague, dim feeling, bent down to feel for her slippers, and changed into them.

Liang Xiaoqing seemed to have sat down on the sofa, a dark figure sitting there without moving.

Jiang Xu groped her way over, nearly tripping. She sat on the sofa too, leaving a modest distance between them. She placed her bag beside her, sat up straight, spine tall, facing Liang Xiaoqing.

"Sister Xiaoqing..."

Before she could finish, Liang Xiaoqing said, "Why are you back so late today?"

Jiang Xu said, "I was helping Jiang Erya carry her books home."

"Oh..."

"What about you, Sister Xiaoqing? When did you get back?"

"In the afternoon, I guess."

Jiang Xu thought for a moment and said, "Did you buy a lot of things?"

"Not too bad."

Jiang Xu asked her, "Have you eaten yet?"

"..."

The only sound reaching Jiang Xu's ears was a faint rustling.

Jiang Xu thought again and said, "Is there anything else you need to buy? We can go together tomorrow. I can carry things for you."

"...I'm very tired today."

Jiang Xu tensed up a little. "Then the day after tomorrow? ...Or maybe you can teach me to ride a bike, Sister Xiaoqing. Then I can carry you around."

Liang Xiaoqing seemed to stir slightly. "...How could you possibly carry me?"

Jiang Xu finally heard a hint of ease in her tone. "How could I not? I've grown taller."

"..."

Silence.

Jiang Xu grew a little anxious. "...Sister Xiaoqing, are you upset?"

"..."

"If I told you something happy, would you cheer up?"

"..."

Jiang Xu felt a bit foolish. How could anyone ask such a stupid question? She fumbled clumsily for her bag, unzipped it, and found the answer sheets folded together, carefully stored. She pulled them out and held them in her hand.

She shifted closer to Liang Xiaoqing. When she felt the distance was right, Jiang Xu reached out, timid and nervous, and handed over the answer sheets.

Liang Xiaoqing took them.

Jiang Xu let out a sigh of relief. "Teacher Yang said I scored..."

"I'm sorry, Xiao Xu."

"First..." The remaining words never made a sound.

Liang Xiaoqing placed her answer sheets on the coffee table without even opening them. She stood up and said, "I didn't help you."

Jiang Xu's head spun dizzily, still wondering if Liang Xiaoqing was unhappy.