Chapter 18

In her previous life, Gu Nianxi had begged Jiang Man to call off the engagement, crying until she was hoarse.

Jiang Man made a rare concession, telling her to rest first.

But when she opened her eyes, she was already at the Cheng family's doorstep.

Luckily, Cheng Qihang had probably thought she was already his for the taking, so he hadn't used any drugs.

After waking up, she fled in panic.

The Cheng mansion was empty, not a single servant in sight. It was like a cage with only her and her abuser inside. A fish caught in a net, struggling in layer after layer of mesh, waiting to become someone's meal.

Fortunately, Cheng Shuhui helped her, hiding her in the wardrobe. Later, Bai Jin came.

She didn't know what Bai Jin and Cheng Qihang discussed, but when she finally emerged trembling from the wardrobe, Bai Jin told her she could go home.

Bai Jin never once looked at her. It was late autumn, everything withered and yellowing, and Bai Jin had grown colder and more unfeeling, as if she too was preparing for her own winter.

But she still came, opened the wardrobe door, and rescued Gu Nianxi from that cage.

"Bai Jin..."

Gu Nianxi wasn't sure if she'd made a sound.

She felt like cheese melting over a fire—heat waves rolling, thoughts turning to mush.

The heat couldn't escape, so it leaked out from the corners of her eyes. As her lashes fluttered, tears rolled down, bringing a hint of coolness but offering no relief.

Still too careless. Her muddled brain bubbled up a thought.

The plan... this wasn't in the plan.

The plan she and Bai Jin had was to use the mysterious person's sabotage of the chandelier to break off the engagement, then use that opportunity to investigate him.

She never expected Jiang Man and Gu Hongzhuo to be so hasty, announcing the engagement while trying to destroy her at the same time.

That thought evaporated, while another began to brew and rise.

So uncomfortable... I want so badly...

Want what?

Gu Nianxi's mind was hazy, and by instinct, she pressed her legs together.

This kind of drug... if she could just get through this wave, right? Just endure a little longer...

Just wait until Bai Jin came. She always found a way to save her.

Whether it was an empty cage or an abyss of desire, Bai Jin could pull her out.

Her consciousness sank into a deep, dark swamp. In a daze, memories from her previous life flashed like fireworks, flaring up and vanishing, enveloping Gu Nianxi.

She seemed to see more. In the darkness, she heard footsteps growing closer. A pair of hands lifted her cold body, then came the irritating beeping of medical equipment, long silences, meaningless time, the shadow of death. Finally, the same hands released her.

"Good night, Gu Nianxi."

—"Sister!"

Bai Jin found Gu Nianxi hiding in the utility room.

She heard muffled gasping behind the door, opened it carefully, and found Gu Nianxi among the brooms and portable mop buckets.

She looked terrible, completely dazed. Bai Jin glanced at her, paused, gestured for the person behind her to leave, then bent down and lifted her out of the pile of junk and dust.

Carrying her was easy, especially since Bai Jin was used to working out and Gu Nianxi was very light.

As soon as her hand touched Gu Nianxi, a stifled sob escaped, and her legs rubbed together beneath her blue dress.

A rich fragrance flooded Bai Jin's nostrils.

She froze for a moment, then quickly tucked Gu Nianxi into her arm and headed back to the hotel suite at top speed.

Gu Nianxi felt terrible.

She was being roasted over a fire—the more uncomfortable she got, the more she wanted to escape, but the more she tried, the weaker her waist and legs became, soft as cotton.

She had never dealt with anything like this. In her haze, she felt she should do something to relieve the discomfort, her toes curling and tensing, but she never found the knack, and she wanted to cry from frustration.

Worse, just as she was plunged into hell, someone pulled her up. Those hands were warm and strong, reassuring, bringing a moment of coolness. But when she instinctively pressed against that person, they quickly withdrew, leaving her alone, making her feel even worse.

Her scant rationality told her it was Bai Jin.

Someone she could trust, someone who would never hurt her.

"Bai Jin..."

Her clear, melodious voice was now trembling, tormented by desire, soft beyond words, full of pleading, though her muddled mind didn't even know what she was begging for.

At least from Bai Jin's perspective, Gu Nianxi was completely overtaken by the drug.

Bai Jin held her phone, inwardly anxious, but her tone remained calm: "Have you found out? What did she take?"

"It's something brought over from Japan, miss," the voice on the other end reported rapidly. "There's no antidote yet. The effects are strong, but she can tough it out if she has to; the only problem is she might have aftereffects later."

"What kind of aftereffects can a drug like this have?"

"She might develop a psychological aversion to similar situations. For men, it could be psychogenic ED; for women... we don't know." The person paused, then asked, "Miss, what should we do with the waiter?"

"Keep him locked up for now."

Bai Jin hung up and saw Gu Nianxi twisting, about to roll off the bed, so she caught her in her arms.

"Sister?" Her voice softened when she spoke to Gu Nianxi. "Are you still awake?"

The girl in her arms was trembling, flushed all over, tears blurring her eyes as she called her name.

Her bare feet were also tensed, the pale arches of her insteps, and she slumped bonelessly into Bai Jin's embrace.

Bai Jin knew she wouldn't get an answer.

She let out a breath, patiently carried Gu Nianxi into the bathroom, gently set her in the bathtub, then turned on the showerhead, tested the water temperature, and let the warm water rain over Gu Nianxi.

Gu Nianxi shivered and, stimulated by the running water, sobered up a little.

She vaguely realized where she was and took in Bai Jin's face, then burst into tears.

"It hurts... it hurts so much, Bai Jin, I don't want this... it's so strange..."

The young miss was always unable to hide her feelings, straightforward in nature, speaking her mind without filter, utterly unaware how tempting her naive, innocent reactions were to others.

Especially that hint of fear behind her innocence, which, when faced with Bai Jin, turned entirely into dependence—even in tears, she only looked at her, as if Bai Jin was the only one who could resolve her current predicament.

This undoubtedly stirred an intense destructive desire within Bai Jin. Every word, every movement, every gasp from Gu Nianxi was a test of her morality and conscience, searing her heart like oil on a fire, boiling with anguish.

She endured it, her movements growing ever more gentle, shakily brushing Gu Nianxi's wet hair behind her ear.

"It's okay, sister, just bear with it..."

"Just bear with it a little longer."

Whether she said it to Gu Nianxi or herself, she didn't know.

Since the day she understood her own feelings, Bai Jin had modified her behavior.

In the past, she would find many opportunities to touch Gu Nianxi. Applying medicine, measuring clothes, holding hands... these actions came naturally, and Gu Nianxi wouldn't notice anything. That was how she gradually invaded her life, turning all that intimacy into something taken for granted, and then, using the lingering warmth and fragrance, she'd violate her in her imagination.

But after that day, Bai Jin withdrew all her covertly aggressive moves. She was like a gardener pruning roses: she trimmed away every thorn that could hurt, leaving Gu Nianxi only the soft petals and fragrance.

She didn't know what love should look like. She'd thought about it, but hadn't figured it out, figuring that this was one of those questions in life that are hard to answer.

She didn't know, so she decided to mimic successful cases.

Normal love should be cherished and handled with caution, avoiding the frivolous elements, and especially avoiding hurting the other person.

So she did just that.

Bai Jin pressed her palm against Gu Nianxi's neck.

Her hand was still cool from testing the water temperature, and Gu Nianxi flinched, like she wanted to pull away, but because of the drug's effect, she craved the coolness and couldn't help leaning in to rub against it.

"Bai Jin..."

She was being clingy again.

Why was Gu Nianxi always being clingy?

Bai Jin held the showerhead in one hand and pressed the other against Gu Nianxi's neck, which was awkward. She stood up to put the showerhead back. The warm water in the tub was only a shallow layer, enough to use, and it had already soaked Gu Nianxi's dress to cool her down.

But Gu Nianxi grabbed her hand.

She pressed her face aimlessly against Bai Jin's palm, saying she didn't know what, but even so, the hot breath from her nose sprayed against Bai Jin's hand, scalding her enough to make her fingertips curl.

"I really hurt, Bai Jin, Bai Jin... please, won't you help me, please..."

The cheek in her palm was burning hot, and the warmth traveled from Bai Jin's hand straight up to her heart, nearly overwhelming what little reason she had left.

If this drug wasn't resolved, there would be aftereffects.

—But those aftereffects, from what she'd heard, weren't caused by the drug itself, but by the psychological trauma of being forced. If she could just get her through this period...

But what if there really were aftereffects? Help her, let her be free—she trusts you, depends on you, she won't notice your feelings.

—No, this is too far, you can't do this... because she doesn't love you.

But she needs you right now.

In Bai Jin's mind, a war raged. She turned to look at Gu Nianxi, her lashes casting long shadows in the warm bathroom light.

Gu Nianxi was soaked through, slumped helplessly in the wide bathtub. Her blue dress, heavy with water, clung to her body, outlining her curves. Her eyes were wide and round, looking at Bai Jin with grievance, her hand clutching Bai Jin's tightly.

With one hand, Bai Jin turned off the water, stepped into the tub, and went down on one knee. The showerhead she'd discarded hung trailing in midair.

She gripped Gu Nianxi's chin, made her look at her, and said gently, "Do you know what you're doing, sister?"

Gu Nianxi didn't really know.

But she was in terrible discomfort.

It had probably been half an hour since the drug took effect, but with this potent substance, enduring even ten minutes was impressive. Half an hour of torment had turned her brain into a thick paste, leaving only one simple, single-track thought:

She was in trouble, and Bai Jin could fix it. Bai Jin wasn't fixing it, so she should act pitiful, and Bai Jin would agree.

So she nodded, tears spilling from the corners of her eyes and streaming down her cheeks onto Bai Jin's hand: "H-Help me, Bai Jin..."

After a long pause, she heard Bai Jin say.

"Alright."

Then, she felt a warmth cover her lower back—Bai Jin's hand pressing against the dimples above her buttocks, drawing her closer. Her body went numb, and only when Bai Jin untied the ribbon at her waist did a belated sense of unease creep in.

She felt Bai Jin looking at her. That gaze was naked, unabashed, like a heated butter knife—just brushing against her body made her feel like she was about to melt.

A thought surfaced from her muddled mind.

...Has she seen all of me looking this pathetic?

The moment she realized, her whole body flushed crimson with shame. She couldn't imagine what a mess she must look like, and started to cry, hard and unreasonably: "Don't look at me, don't you dare look at me, I'm scared..."

A gentle hand soothed the back of her ear, then pulled at the ribbon around her neck.

A large expanse of snow-white skin was exposed to the air. Gu Nianxi's tears kept falling, as she futilely clutched at her slipping dress, but through her blurry vision, she saw Bai Jin tie the ribbon over her own eyes.

The pale blue ribbon, the same color as her dress, was now stained a deep blue from the water. It wrapped around Bai Jin's eyes, covering not only her gaze but that voyeuristic look as well.

"Don't be scared, sister," Bai Jin said softly. She bent down, lowering her head.

"I won't look at you..."

"It'll be over soon."