Chapter 19

Kong Xiyan opened her eyes early. She'd lain awake half the night and had woken before five in the morning. Rubbing her eyes, she called out, "Yanyan."

It took her a moment to remember—Yanyan had been sent to Zhou Sheng's care by Chi Wanzhao.

She checked the time, guessed it should be afternoon for Chi Wanzhao, and carefully worded a message: "President Chi, are you there?"

After sending it, she rolled over in bed. The other side was cold and empty, and she quickly curled back into herself.

A reply came soon after: "Awake? Or haven't slept?"

Kong Xiyan grabbed her phone at the buzz and read the message, then began typing.

—I can't sleep.

A long silence from Chi Wanzhao followed. After four or five minutes, a message finally came.

—Got it. I'll be back as soon as I can.

Kong Xiyan stared at the message for a few seconds, then quickly replied: "No, no, I just wanted to ask—can I have Yanyan back?"

—Without him around, I can't sleep.

Chi Wanzhao sat at the bedside, reading the incoming message. The slight lift at the corner of her mouth instantly straightened. Without a second thought, she replied.

—No.

—Oh.

Chi Wanzhao placed her phone on the nightstand and turned to look outside.

Her last visit had been during the New Year's holiday the year before. Her father's health hadn't yet declined this badly then; he used to sit beneath the tree outside her window, greeting her when he saw her with a soft: "Little Wan."

It was as if nothing had ever happened, as in the old days.

But she could no longer bring herself to give him a kind face.

She would even go so far as to turn a deaf ear, brushing past him.

Now the trees outside the window remained the same, but the man beneath them was nowhere to be seen.

Chi Wanzhao silently drew herself together when a knock sounded at the door.

"Come in."

Chi Xuan pushed the door open, poking her head in, and whispered, "Sis."

Chi Wanzhao tilted her head at her sister's furtive demeanor and couldn't help but find it amusing. She beckoned: "Come here."

Chi Xuan pushed the door fully open and jogged over, stopping before Chi Wanzhao in a flash. She was tall, with a ponytail, and seemed full of youthful energy.

Chi Wanzhao pulled her to sit beside her: "What is it?"

Chi Xuan looked up at her: "Dad's awake."

"Mm."

Chi Wanzhao's voice suddenly turned cold. Chi Xuan rubbed her arms and glanced at her expression. She actually adored her sister—ever since childhood, whenever her sister came home, Chi Xuan loved to cling to her.

But she rarely came back.

That had started, Chi Xuan thought, when their grandmother fell ill.

She and her sister were different. Back then, their family business was too busy, so Chi Xuan had been raised by her grandmother until she went to school and was brought back home.

That was why her bond with her grandmother was so deep.

Later, when their grandmother fell ill and their mother couldn't step away, her sister had taken a break from school to care for her.

Once she left, she seldom returned.

Seeing her sister get up, Chi Xuan stood too, asking, "Sis, are you heading to the hospital?"

Chi Wanzhao nodded: "You stay home. Keep an eye on Mom."

"Mm, I know." Chi Xuan replied.

Chi Wanzhao slipped on her coat and walked out. Though November hadn't yet brought a deep freeze, Country A was cold, the wind howling and cutting to the bone.

After getting in the car, she wrapped her coat tighter, expression steady.

At the hospital, Chi Wanzhao stood outside. The chill wind lifted her hem, tilting her form. Chi Yifan stepped out and spotted her standing there alone.

With a sigh, he approached and called, "Little Wan."

Chi Wanzhao tilted her head: "Brother."

"Why are you out here?"

Chi Yifan was a few years older, with a similar but more steeled set of features. Lowering his voice, he said, "Dad asked me to come see if you'd arrived."

Chi Wanzhao felt a flicker of irritation. "Let's go in."

Without waiting for a reaction from Chi Yifan, she strode into the hospital first.

The corridor was still bustling with people. Chi Wanzhao paused for a moment at the door of the sickroom, then pushed it open and stepped inside.

The man in the bed had opened his eyes. Various instruments were attached to him, a respirator tube beneath his nose. He extended a withered hand toward Chi Wanzhao, his voice barely a murmur: "Little Wan..."

Chi Wanzhao's eyes reddened instantly, her nose aching. Her jaw tightened as she desperately tried to reconcile this dying figure with the vigorous man from her memories.

But they didn't match, no matter how she tried.

The Chi Chao lying in bed had clouded eyes. He only kept murmuring, "Little Wan, Little Wan, don't you recognize your father now?"

Chi Wanzhao could not even swallow, wanted to speak but couldn't make a sound.

His gaze gradually dimmed. "It's all right if you don't. It was Father's fault."

Chi Wanzhao stepped forward, sitting on the edge of the bed. She took a deep breath before managing a hoarse cry: "Dad."

Chi Chao's trembling hand clasped her wrist, trying to smile but failing, only managing a crooked twist of his mouth.

"Good. Good. Good."

Seeing the two of them at an impasse, Chi Yifan wisely excused himself. "Talk. I'll go pick up some supplies."

Knowing her brother was giving them privacy, Chi Wanzhao nodded. "Go on."

The door behind them opened and closed, then fell still.

Chi Chao's hand was wasted thin, all skin and bone, with little strength left. When he grasped Chi Wanzhao, it felt like he was merely laying a weight across her wrist. A glint of wetness gathered in his eyes.

The room was quiet, almost desolate.

After a long while, Chi Chao managed weakly, "Still leaving?"

Chi Wanzhao's silence was her answer.

Chi Chao let out a labored sigh. "All of this... was my doing."

Thinking of the folly of his youth made him feel profoundly ungrateful to Xie Dan and his children. Though he'd spent these years trying to make amends, many things could never be repaired.

A piece of porcelain, once shattered, will always show its cracks, even after gluing.

That was why he'd never dared speak of it, fearing it would shatter the peace of the Chi household.

But he was getting old, and youth's recklessness demanded a price. He didn't expect everyone to forgive him; he only hoped that once he was gone, they would treat that child with kindness.

At the end of the day, the fault was theirs.

The child had no blame.

Chi Wanzhao looked down at Chi Chao's hand. In her memory, that broad, warm hand was now this—skin furrowed like trenches, fingertips cold, frail and aged.

She recalled Chi Yifan and Xie Dan's words, and lowered her head. "Dad, do you want to see her?"

The hand that had been weak suddenly held her wrist tightly, and Chi Chao's breathing grew heavier. "Did you find her?"

Seeing him like this, Chi Wanzhao closed her eyes and replied coldly, "Not yet."

"But you want to see her, don't you?"

Chi Chao said, "Little Wan, she is also my child."

Chi Wanzhao turned her head aside, emotions churning in her chest. Chi Chao went on, "I'm not asking you to forgive me. But that child is innocent. If you ever cross paths with her in the future, I hope you'll look out for her a little."

"Look out for her?"

Chi Wanzhao let out a laugh. "Then get up from this bed right now and look after her yourself."

So saying, she stood up. Chi Chao broke into a fit of coughs, the sound growing louder in her ears, and her steps toward the door grew slower and heavier.

Once out, she leaned against the doorknob. Chi Yifan steadied her and said, "Since childhood, Mom always said you and Dad have the most alike tempers—both equally stubborn. I never believed it until now."

"Now I do."

Chi Wanzhao curved the corner of her mouth. "Am I being cruel?"

Knowing full well that man didn't have long to live, and still saying such things to provoke him.

Chi Yifan shook his head. "Cruel? Wasn't what Dad did to us also cruel?"

"But, Little Wan, some regrets can't be undone, but others can still be addressed."

"Let's try to find the child, and let Dad go without regrets."

Chi Wanzhao's eyes burned. In a rasping voice, she asked, "How much time did the doctor say?"

Chi Yifan was silent a moment before replying, "Around six months."

Chi Wanzhao looked down at the gleaming floor, as if it might reflect her own image clearly. Chi Yifan patted her shoulder and turned to step back into the sickroom.

Corridor traffic passed, yet she alone sat motionless on the bench, mind adrift.

After a long while, she dialed a number on her phone.

It rang twice before someone answered.

The crisp voice came through the crackling line: "President Chi?"

Chi Wanzhao leaned back in her chair, speaking in a low tone: "Busy?"

Kong Xiyan hadn't yet reached the set; this morning's scene had been pushed till around ten, so she was still lounging on the sofa with a cushion hugged to her chest. She snapped to attention at the question. "Not busy."

Even through the phone, she could sense something off about Chi Wanzhao, something different from usual. The words "What's wrong?" hovered on her tongue, but before she could voice them, Chi Wanzhao said, "Mind talking with me for a bit?"

Kong Xiyan: ...

Talk about what?

"Have you eaten?" "What are you up to?" "How's the scenery over there?"

None seemed quite right.

And besides, she didn't even know what Chi Wanzhao was away on business for.

Kong Xiyan felt even more conflicted than when she'd asked about bringing Yanyan back. After a minute or two of silence on both ends, she finally gritted her teeth and ventured, "Did something happen to you?"

Chi Wanzhao's breath came soft over the line. "No, it's nothing. I'll hang up now."

Kong Xiyan: ...

The call ended. Kong Xiyan sat there staring blankly at her phone.

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang. She smoothed her hair and went to answer it. Standing outside was Zhou Sheng, with Yanyan cradled in his arms.

Kong Xiyan: "Why are you here?"

Zhou Sheng wore his usual expression. "Ma'am, President Chi asked me to bring Yanyan back."

Kong Xiyan took the cat from him, her brow knitting slightly. She probed, "Is President Chi all right?"

Zhou Sheng's refined features stiffened for a second, then he offered a smile. "She's fine, ma'am. Don't worry. President Chi said she'd be back soon."

Kong Xiyan stroked Yanyan's head. "Then what did she go abroad for?"

Her voice on the phone had clearly sounded off.

A glimmer of insight flashed behind Zhou Sheng's glasses as he answered, "President Chi said if you wanted to check up on her, you're welcome to call anytime."

A blush crept onto Kong Xiyan's fair cheeks. She mustered a smile and watched Zhou Sheng leave.

Only after closing the door did she mutter under her breath,

Check up on her, indeed—she was just worried, wasn't she?

It wasn't until that little grumble that she stopped short.

Why was she, of all people, worrying about Chi Wanzhao?