Chapter 113

Kong Xiyan sat in the café booth by the window, basking in the warm, cozy sunlight that spilled over her.

Guan Xiaoying stepped in through the sunlight.

Spotting Kong Xiyan's booth, she called out with a soft smile, "Xiyan."

Kong Xiyan turned her head, squinting slightly against the glare. Guan Xiaoying wore a sporty outfit, hair pulled back in a ponytail, with light makeup—a stark contrast to the affluent CEO's wife she'd appeared to be on stage. Now she radiated youthful energy.

She looked very much like the person she'd been when they first met.

Back then, they'd known little about this circle but had stumbled and clawed their way through, sharing joys and sorrows without reservation.

But those days were gone forever.

Guan Xiaoying noticed Kong Xiyan's distant expression and laughed. "What's wrong?"

Kong Xiyan snapped back to reality and smiled. "Nothing. I just suddenly thought of the old days."

Guan Xiaoying sat opposite her and ordered a coffee. Once the waiter left, she said, "Yeah, I often think of the past too. We used to be so close."

Kong Xiyan lowered her head, swirling the spoon in her cup, then took a sip. "Indeed."

Guan Xiaoying studied her expression for a few seconds.

The coffee arrived, and Guan Xiaoying glanced at Kong Xiyan's cup, then chuckled. "Three years, and your taste hasn't changed."

Kong Xiyan followed her gaze to her own cup and smiled faintly. "Some things are hard to change."

Guan Xiaoying took a sip. "It's good you haven't changed. It makes me feel you're still the same person."

Kong Xiyan looked up at her. "Staying the same isn't always good either. You're still the same too, aren't you, Xiaoying?"

The double-edged remark made Guan Xiaoying frown, but she forced a smile. "What's wrong with that? I..."

Kong Xiyan turned to pull an envelope from her bag, cutting her off. "Xiaoying, do you remember what you said to me on the Meet on Friday show when I'd just returned to the industry?"

"You said—time passes, and things are no longer the same as three years ago."

Guan Xiaoying gave a faint smile. "Are you blaming me for distancing myself back then? Actually..."

"Actually, it was because I was still being suppressed by Wei Yan and He Wei. I still carried the label of a homewrecker, still looked down on by everyone. Even going on a show, I had to rely on a former friend to win."

"Xiaoying, is that what you thought then?"

Guan Xiaoying frowned. "Of course not. I never thought that way."

Kong Xiyan laughed lightly. "Really? Then why were you so cold to me then, but so enthusiastic later?"

"That's because..."

"Because I made a comeback, because I was no longer being oppressed, because I'd rise to the top again, and my path ahead would be smoother. So you got scared. Isn't that it, Xiaoying?"

Guan Xiaoying kept her brows knit tightly, lips slightly parted. "Xiyan, how could I think that way? I don't understand what's gotten into you."

Kong Xiyan's eyes reddened slightly, her voice hoarse. "You don't understand? Do I need to spell it out for you?"

"Xiaoying, do you know what this is?"

She held the envelope high, letting Guan Xiaoying see the three big characters on it.

When Guan Xiaoying saw the handwriting, her expression shifted slightly. She swallowed nervously, then regained her composure.

Three years apart had made her acting masterful. At least now, her face looked particularly innocent and bewildered.

"Xiyan, what is this?"

Seeing she made no move to take it, Kong Xiyan withdrew her hand and opened the envelope. The white paper had yellowed, but the black handwriting remained clear. She looked at it and said, "This is a letter Xiaofan wrote to me."

"Xiaofan wasn't a reckless person, nor someone who would force others. You knew what he was like better than I did. And precisely because you knew him so well, you used him so smoothly."

"After Xiaofan passed, I blamed myself for a long time. I kept thinking—what had I done that made him misunderstand so deeply, ultimately costing him his life?"

"I couldn't figure it out for the longest time, until I received this letter."

"You never imagined that foolish man would write a letter before the incident, thinking it would become a sweet memory once we got together. But instead, it cleared up all my doubts."

"Xiaoying, don't you feel even a shred of guilt toward Xiaofan?"

Guan Xiaoying clutched her cup, trying to explain. "I do. I've felt guilt and self-blame every moment. I shouldn't have given him that terrible advice, which led to his death."

Kong Xiyan gave a cold laugh. "Terrible advice."

"That's a nice way to put it."

"Xiaoying, I used to wonder what jealousy turns people into. Now, looking at you, I understand. It can disfigure a person, making them hideous—worse than beasts."

Her tone stayed mild, her volume steady, yet each word struck deep.

Guan Xiaoying's face had completely changed, and she bit her lip. "Jealousy..."

"Ha!"

"Xiyan, is that what you think of me?"

Kong Xiyan raised her eyes to meet hers. Guan Xiaoying took a deep breath to steady herself, but when she spoke again, her voice was still tight with anger.

"I never wanted to compare myself to you. Some are born with everything; others have to crawl through the mire just to survive. You were on top from your debut. How could you understand someone like me, fighting through the swamp?"

"With you around, I was always just a sidekick—the supporting actress on screen, the unknown off screen."

"But I never hated you. I was only a little resentful."

"Then you had to take that movie."

Guan Xiaoying lifted her head, her face darkening. "Do you know, three years ago, that film should have been mine."

"That lead role was meant for me."

Kong Xiyan opened her mouth. "You..."

Guan Xiaoying bit out, interrupting her, "I gave everything for that role. Xiyan, do you know what 'everything' means? I went from a girl to a woman because of that role."

"Just when I was overjoyed, thinking I could finally stop being tied to you, the director told me I was being replaced."

"Replaced! Ha! The man who had whispered sweet words to me the night before turned ruthless, saying he had no choice—the investors decided."

A complex feeling welled up in Kong Xiyan. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Guan Xiaoying's voice rose. "Tell you? To put my humiliation before you for sympathy? So you could see how a role I schemed and fought for came to you effortlessly? Kong Xiyan, you're so cruel."

Kong Xiyan's face turned cold as she met Guan Xiaoying's intense gaze. "I'm cruel?"

"Who's really cruel here?"

"So you spread the rumor that I liked Xiaofan, told him things that never happened, and made him confess at that exact moment. But do you realize? You got him killed."

Guan Xiaoying shot to her feet. "That wasn't my fault! He was just unlucky!"

"I never meant for that to happen."

"I had only arranged for reporters nearby, wanting them to take photos of your dating news. I knew the investors required you to avoid romance scandals."

"But I didn't expect that Xiaofan..."

But she hadn't expected.

That Guan Xiaofan would lose his life because of it.

That turned her envy into hatred.

She had been blinded, unable to see the truth, and now she believed she was not at fault, nor would she ever admit she was wrong.

Kong Xiyan listened and gave a cold laugh. "So that's the truth."

"Is that why you fanned the flames when Wei Yan and He Wei framed me?"

"Guan Xiaoying, you are a demon!"

Guan Xiaoying just stood there, ignoring her, while Kong Xiyan lowered her head and downed the last of her coffee in one gulp. The bitterness coated her tongue and seeped into her heart, making her eyes red and her nose tingle with grief.

Kong Xiyan set the envelope on the table, her voice hoarse. "I came to see you alone today not just to return this letter, but to tell you something."

"I won't pursue what happened three years ago anymore, so you don't need to constantly worry that I'll dig up old grievances. Nor do you need to come and fawn over me to gauge if I still want you as a friend."

"Now, I'll tell you: I don't."

With that, she stood up and walked away in her high heels, without a backward glance. Guan Xiaoying watched her straight back with a cold expression, gripping the envelope tightly until its yellowed paper crumpled, cracked, and tore.

Once outside, Kong Xiyan finally breathed a sigh of relief, as if a weight had been lifted from her chest. The relief showed on her face.

Fu Qiu saw her come out and hurried over. "Miss Kong."

Kong Xiyan smiled. "Let's go. Get in the car."

Fu Qiu nodded and helped her into the vehicle. Sitting in the car, Kong Xiyan stared at the café, recalling Guan Xiaoying's words.

She'd said the role three years ago should have been hers, that she'd given everything for it.

But she'd forgotten that giving isn't the same as receiving.

And sometimes, you can lose everything.

Kong Xiyan lowered her eyes. Her phone buzzed with a message from Chi Wanzhao.

—Are you done?

Kong Xiyan replied: Done.

Chi Wanzhao: Good. What do you want for dinner?

Kong Xiyan thought for a moment, then answered:

—I want to eat you.

Chi Wanzhao: ...