Chapter 66

“Go to sleep. You’re tired.”

After that, Yu Min ended the topic first and didn’t continue it.

She was avoiding it too. Yu Min didn’t need the truth from Lin Baixin’s heart.

Some things weren’t worth holding onto or arguing over, and besides, this wasn’t the right time. The timing was wrong; the setting was even worse.

Lin Baixin was at a complete loss. She stared blankly at Yu Min’s profile for a long while before replying dryly, “You should sleep first. Good night. We can talk tomorrow... Tomorrow Lin Qi and the others are coming; they’ll be here in the morning.”

She had wanted to say, “We can talk tomorrow,” but swallowed it back and changed the second half.

Yu Min really was tired. She’d gotten up early to catch the flight and hadn’t had a proper rest all day; the moment she touched the bed, exhaustion washed over her. She closed her eyes and was asleep before long.

A narrow gap remained in the curtains; thin light filtered through and fell slantwise across the bed.

In that dim light, Lin Baixin looked at Yu Min’s profile. Her breathing was even and light. The room was so quiet that she could hear every rise and fall of the other girl’s breath. Her own breathing, by contrast, felt heavy, pressing down on the empty place in her chest until it seemed to sink in on itself.

Lin Qi and the others arrived at the hotel at 8:30 the next morning. There were two of them; Yu Min had just gotten up and showered not long before, and Lin Qi had come to drop off a change of clothes. Yu Min had barely brought any luggage at all, so Lin Baixin had asked Lin Qi to buy clothes outside last night. The sizes were all just right, though the style was very different from what Yu Min usually wore.

In winter, Yu Min often wore down jackets; basic styles, mostly in black, white, and gray. What Lin Qi brought were wool coats, plus a rather sharp, capable-looking denim jacket with short fur trim. The inner layers were all fitted, and both outfits came with straight-leg trousers and high heels.

“Just make do with these for now,” Lin Qi said, handing the things over. “This style is trendy this year. If it doesn’t work, we’ll buy something else later.”

She added, “The stuff that goes against the skin has all been washed and tumble-dried. It’s clean, don’t worry.”

Yu Min had been planning to wash the inner layers before wearing them; it was a habit she’d kept for a long time.

“Your sister told me to do it,” Lin Qi went on. “She reminded me several times not to forget. I kept it in mind.” Turning her hand over, she put two breakfasts on the table as well. “These were bought on the way over; crab roe buns. They’re still hot, so try them. Supposedly they’re pretty popular. We waited in line for half an hour to get them.”

The hotel had a nutritious breakfast buffet, and they’d originally planned to go down to the second-floor restaurant after packing up. Since Lin Qi and the others had gone to the trouble of bringing food, Yu Min and Lin Baixin sat down to eat the crab roe buns they’d brought while chatting with Lin Qi and the others.

In front of Lin Qi and Luoshu, the two of them acted just as they always had, as if nothing had happened at all; there was not the slightest hint of distance between them.

Lin Qi was going home today, and Lin Baixin would be going to her place as well. It was still a day of reunion, but the difference was that in the afternoon they had to make a trip to the temple with the elders to burn incense.

“Is that a custom?” Yu Min asked quietly.

“No,” Lin Baixin said. “We’re only going this year. If you don’t want to go, we can skip it.”

“Let’s go. It’s a good chance to look around and see this side of town.” Yu Min shook her head.

The temple was fairly far from the hotel. They set off after noon, and by the time they got there, it was already a little late. There were far more worshippers than Yu Min had expected. She had thought the temple would be relatively quiet lately, but instead there was a long line outside and people were coming and going nonstop. The gate was even controlling the flow of visitors; one group had to leave before another could enter.

Perhaps because she felt guilty, Lin Baixin took Yu Min everywhere with her for the rest of the day. The wind outside the temple was strong, and Yu Min’s coat looked a little thin. While Lin Qi and the others were inside burning incense, Lin Baixin took off her scarf and was about to put it around Yu Min’s neck; before she even managed to wrap it on, Yu Min dodged away and refused to wear it.

“I’m not cold. You keep it,” Yu Min said. “You’re wearing less than I am.”

In fact, Lin Baixin was wearing more than she was; the coat was the same kind, but with a thin, fitted gray sweater underneath.

The hand reaching toward her stopped, frozen just an inch away. As the cool wind from the woods blew over, Lin Baixin’s fingertips trembled. She stiffened for a moment before lowering her hand stiffly.

“I really’m not cold,” Yu Min said.

Lin Baixin didn’t force her. If she didn’t want to wear it, then so be it. She wasn’t cold either. She took the scarf off and didn’t put it back on, just draping it over her arm.

They weren’t there to burn incense or worship the Buddha. They’d come just to join in the excitement; neither of them had much faith in that sort of thing, and they certainly had no wishes they needed to pray for.

After circling more than half the temple, they passed a little stall selling souvenirs. Yu Min picked out a little rabbit holding a lantern, and Lin Baixin paid for it. This time Yu Min didn’t refuse. After that, she bought a few other small trinkets as well. She liked these cute little things; once she saw them, she couldn’t walk away.

On this trip to Hai city, Yu Min met most of Lin Baixin’s relatives on this side. The ones she hadn’t met were basically the ones they didn’t keep in much contact with anyway.

Once the relatives learned that Yu Min was the girl who had been living with Lin Baixin, they had imagined her to be the kind of gentle, introverted little girl one would expect. In reality, Yu Min was much taller than they’d expected, especially in a pair of thin high heels; standing beside Lin Baixin, she was even taller. Add in her changed style of dress, and there was no trace of a pitiful child who needed adults to take care of her. If anything, it looked more like she was the one taking care of Lin Baixin.

Lin Qi’s mother, who was Lin Baixin’s aunt by family rank, took quite a liking to Yu Min. Every time she saw her, she smiled warmly, full of kindness and affection.

Aunt He quietly said to Yu Min, “It’s all thanks to you for keeping Baixin company. She’s been alone out there for so many years; it must have been hard on her, you know that, right? She lost her home when she was barely in her teens, and her parents... well, it’s the New Year, so we shouldn’t talk about that. Anyway, with you by her side, we’re all relieved. Our Aqi says you often go to the shop to bring them food and drinks. You’re still in school, and you’re so thoughtful toward them. Here, take this.” Aunt He bought a gift for Yu Min and insisted she accept it.

She was a very reasonable and generous elder. Many of Lin Qi’s good qualities were just like Aunt He’s; mother and daughter were cut from the same cloth, and both of them were fond of Yu Min.

Lin Baixin wasn’t actually going to stay in Hai city that long. Staying to spend Lantern Festival there was impossible; that wasn’t realistic. The shop had to open on the eighth day of the lunar new year, and the one who would be staying behind was Lin Qi. Lin Baixin had to return to Kyoto earlier.

Lin Qi was outspoken and laid everything out in front of Yu Min, not knowing anything about the private matters between the two of them. She had no idea that after she said all that, Yu Min glanced at Lin Baixin twice, while Lin Baixin pretended to drink water and looked away.

Then there was that relative’s daughter’s wedding. Counting it all up, Lin Baixin had even less reason to make a special trip back for it, because the two sides weren’t that close. Not to mention Lin Baixin; Lin Qi’s family wasn’t very close to that side either. Due to schedule conflicts, they had another relative to visit on the third day of the new year, so Lin Qi and the others weren’t planning to attend the wedding at all. As long as the gift money was given, it was fine; they didn’t necessarily have to show up in person.

For any relative whose relationship wasn’t as close as Lin Qi’s, Lin Baixin didn’t need to make a special trip. The fact that she’d come this time had surprised everyone. She hadn’t given advance notice, and in past years, when she came for the New Year, she mostly stayed only a day or two before leaving. Sometimes it was even shorter. Even if she didn’t leave Hai city afterward, she still didn’t like staying around the relatives.

Everyone understood her. After all, there was nothing worth lingering over in the old place. Every return meant remembering the past again: the Lin family, her parents, the house they used to live in... Seeing too much would only be torment, a constant irritation.

This time, Yu Min heard Lin Baixin’s parents mentioned more than once by these relatives. They wouldn’t bring it up in front of Lin Baixin, but behind her back they still couldn’t help sighing and lamenting.

Before they died, the Lin parents had had an unhappy marriage. The couple went from a love-at-first-sight romance in their youth to cold indifference after marriage. They entered marriage on impulse when they were too young and settled down too early, which made it hard to reconcile for the many years that followed. There were conflicts everywhere, and because of many practical issues, they were much like Zheng Qing and Yu Shengyu; the two sides were entangled in resentment for more than ten years and still couldn’t break free of each other. They crashed on the way to get divorced. The couple had even been arguing in the car; one moment of anger and distraction, and that was what caused the accident.

Lin Baixin was in the car too. She’d been lucky; while the husband and wife both died in the crash, she alone survived.

The Lin parents’ deaths were horrific. Not a complete corpse was left. The car caught fire at the time, and if not for a kind person forcibly dragging Lin Baixin away, she probably wouldn’t have fared any better when the car later exploded violently.

Lin Baixin’s decision to remain single was largely influenced by her parents’ failed marriage. The trauma from that car accident was no small matter. Aunt He secretly told Yu Min that after the incident, Lin Baixin hadn’t been able to sleep at all for a while. She had been taken to see several psychologists, and even after she could sleep again, she would often wake up in the middle of the night, trembling with fear.

This was the first time Yu Min had heard of it, and she was startled. She hadn’t known there was so much behind it; she had thought the Lin parents’ car accident had simply been an accident. It turned out not to be.

Even so, in front of Lin Baixin, she still pretended not to know. That night, when she lay down beside Lin Baixin again, Yu Min didn’t turn her back this time. Instead, she turned around on her own and faced her directly, face to face.

She’d cooled off.

At the very least, she wasn’t like last night, when she’d been sulking in silence like a human firework with the fuse lit.

Lin Baixin had just been putting her words together when, unexpectedly, the other girl turned over. The distance between them was too close; their heads nearly bumped. Lin Baixin froze, and then, in the blink of an eye, Yu Min moved even closer, practically squeezing herself into her arms as she leaned against her.

“This time, I’ll forgive you first.”

Their lips were only two or three centimeters apart. Yu Min tilted her head slightly upward, and after a moment, she said softly, “Hold me. Put some heart into it. Hurry up and comfort the child already.”

The request wasn’t difficult. Lin Baixin could do it; she could do it very easily.

It was just a hug, nothing more.

Separated by the thickness of two quilts, Lin Baixin reached out and wrapped her arms loosely around her, patting her shoulder.

“No next time,” Yu Min said softly but firmly.

Lin Baixin answered, “Okay.”

“I hold grudges.”

“Mhm. There won’t be a next time.”

Having gotten Lin Baixin’s promise, Yu Min kicked off the quilt and shifted to the side, moving into Lin Baixin’s blanket instead. Then she reached out and hugged Lin Baixin back. Lin Baixin was obviously very stiff, but in the end she still didn’t resist; she didn’t push her away again. Her arm rested by Yu Min’s neck as she let Yu Min hold her tightly.

“You can’t treat me that way. That isn’t fair,” Yu Min murmured half-lidded, whether or not Lin Baixin could take it in. Her voice was soft, with a trace of grievance. “Between you and me... the two of us, it can’t be this unequal.”