Chapter 64

After that summer ended, Yu Min officially moved into her junior year in the second half of the year.

The first three years of the eight-year clinical program were relatively less stressful. They were mostly general education and foundational courses, building up theoretical knowledge. In the fourth year, clinical observation would begin, meaning hospital rotations; the internship period usually lasted about two years. The last three years were the toughest of all, because that stage was all about intensive training in a specific direction. In plain terms, that was when you decided which field you wanted to work in, which department you wanted to join, and then started digging deep into that area—working while doing experiments, writing papers, and so on. If it didn’t kill you, it worked you to death.

And even after all that was over, a so-called medical career had only just begun. Just like with any other non-medical major, graduating didn’t mean you’d land the job you wanted, and it didn’t mean you could walk straight into a big company. Medicine was no different. Even students graduating from the country’s top medical schools might still not be able to get into a top hospital in the future.

Exactly as Jiang Zhou had said.

Yu Min had never had any kind of medical dream. By junior year, the students around her were all talking about fourth-year observation and internships; some were excited, some were wailing, each with their own state of mind. She, however, wasn’t troubled by it at all. Since she was already here, she’d take it as it came; one step at a time, and whatever stage she reached, she would accept it calmly.

What she cared more about were the irrelevant little things.

She cared about Lin Baixin; she cared about everything related to Lin Baixin.

And Lin Baixin cared more about Yu Min’s studies than anyone else, even more than Zheng Qing, who was in another city.

Zheng Qing hoped Yu Min would become an excellent, prestigious doctor. In today’s society, that kind of profession was a real status symbol. Graduate from X University, get into a top hospital in the future, and then they could find some connections to send Yu Min abroad, or have some famous expert take her under their wing and guide her. Yu Min’s future might not be completely smooth, but it would definitely be stable.

Yu Min didn’t know it, but Lin Baixin somehow ended up in contact with Zheng Qing. More accurately, Zheng Qing had privately reached out to Lin Baixin and contacted her several times one-on-one.

After all, she was Yu Min’s biological mother. Morally and legally, Lin Baixin had no right to refuse Zheng Qing. Yu Min was Zheng Qing’s daughter; Lin Baixin was only someone who had kindly taken care of Yu Min. Ignoring Zheng Qing, or forcibly keeping Zheng Qing and Yu Min apart, neither approach was really appropriate.

Even though Zheng Qing hadn’t exactly been responsible before and, in some sense, could be considered a negligent mother.

Yu Min only happened to discover that they’d been in contact all along. Lin Baixin hadn’t deliberately hidden it from her. There was nothing to conceal; she was caught in the middle and found it a little difficult, but she didn’t want Yu Min to be bothered by this mess.

Fortunately, Yu Min didn’t find it bothersome. That was expected. Zheng Qing still contacted her from time to time too, but Yu Min handled her differently. She barely responded to Zheng Qing, only replying after a long delay when messages piled up; when Zheng Qing called, she never answered, either calling back later when she had time or simply hanging up and brushing it off through text.

Zheng Qing knew how to read the room. After a few more tries, she stopped pestering her, understanding that too much was just as bad as too little. If this went on, one day Yu Min would block her.

Since she couldn’t reach Yu Min, she had to turn to Lin Baixin. There was no one else; only Lin Baixin lived with Yu Min, and no one knew Yu Min better than she did.

Trying to curry favor with Lin Baixin, Zheng Qing sent gifts several times. She’d toned it down, no longer sending flashy limited-edition designer bags. Instead, she changed tactics and sent things that were less expensive but more thoughtful, like tonics or homemade items. Then Lin Baixin was no longer in a position to refuse them outright; more often than not, she had no choice but to accept them, especially the things Zheng Qing had made herself. Zheng Qing said they were for Yu Min, so Lin Baixin couldn’t decide on her own to return them.

But in front of Yu Min, Lin Baixin absolutely couldn’t take those things out. Yu Min might not be able to accept them, so Lin Baixin packed everything away and locked it in the storage room.

Zheng Qing was quite self-aware. She never mentioned the gifts in front of Yu Min, acting as if she had excellent boundaries.

In truth, Yu Min had long since noticed those things. The storage room wasn’t some forbidden place; the door wasn’t locked, and any of them could go in. The cardboard boxes that had suddenly appeared on the shelf had been sitting there for a long time, so Yu Min couldn’t have missed them. She had once opened one of the boxes, and once she saw what was inside, she understood immediately. She knew very clearly that those were things Zheng Qing had sent.

Zheng Qing liked handicrafts. Her hobby was similar to Li Xue Ting’s. In the past, she had made all sorts of little decorations for the home, and now, so many years later, she still kept that preference, as if everyone else shared her view too, as if the whole world accepted her logic that the more effort you put into something, the more heartfelt it was, and that handmade objects were practically priceless.

When it came to each other, Yu Min and Lin Baixin initially both kept their distance and didn’t pierce that thin layer of window paper between them. Yu Min especially; when she was pretending not to see it, she saw everything and acted as if she hadn’t. It was only later, when Lin Baixin could no longer stand continuing like this, that she finally confessed.

“I don’t know how to tell you this,” Lin Baixin said. “This isn’t easy to handle.”

Yu Min didn’t need an explanation; she didn’t care at all.

“It’s nothing. Don’t make it sound like the sky’s falling.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not that serious.”

“I didn’t handle it well.”

Yu Min pressed her lips together and shook her head. “It should be me. Otherwise she wouldn’t have gone to you.”

Lin Baixin said, “It has nothing to do with you. You can’t control her either.”

It wasn’t a big deal; they were all small matters.

On the contrary, it was Zheng Qing’s appearance that made things between them relax a little. Ever since that drunken night, there had been signs in their interactions. On the surface, Lin Baixin still accepted Yu Min’s drunken mistake openly, but little by little she began to deliberately distance herself from Yu Min. Either she used the excuse of working at the shop, or she had to go out of town to receive and deliver goods. At least ten days out of every month she was away from home, and on the longest trip she didn’t come back for twenty-three days.

Lin Baixin always had perfectly reasonable explanations for leaving; no one could fault them.

The longest trip had been back to Hai city. It was the anniversary of Lin family parents’ deaths; Lin Baixin went there to sweep the graves and pay respects, and also visited some relatives, which was why she stayed away for twenty-three days in total.

At other times, receiving goods didn’t necessarily mean going and coming back the same day. Sometimes it wasn’t just one supplier’s shipment; besides receiving deliveries, she also had to make offline deliveries. Back and forth like that, one outing could easily take two or three days, or even longer. With more than four business trips a month, there was hardly any time left for her to stay home.

That was exactly why Yu Min could tolerate Zheng Qing showing up every few days. In an invisible way, Zheng Qing became the bond between the two of them. Lin Baixin could avoid Yu Min, but she couldn’t avoid Zheng Qing; in a roundabout way, even when she went out, she still couldn’t escape Yu Min’s existence.

Zheng Qing had a lot of free time and liked to meddle. Lin Baixin didn’t openly refuse or reject her, and over time Zheng Qing got pretty good at pushing her luck. She also had Lin Baixin help pass messages along. Clearly she had Yu Min’s contact information herself, but she didn’t dare look for Yu Min directly and insisted on asking Lin Baixin to carry words for her.

On another occasion, Lin Baixin went to Yuncheng on a business trip. She had barely stepped off the plane and hadn’t even started work when Zheng Qing called. Something had come up again, and she sounded rather anxious.

It really did seem urgent, so Lin Baixin immediately called her back. In the end, Zheng Qing’s so-called urgent matter was that she had sent New Year’s goods to Kyoto. It was still more than two months before the New Year. Zheng Qing didn’t hold out any hope that Yu Min would come back for the holiday, so, out of nowhere, the mother had started acting like an ordinary family’s mom, packing up a pile of Siping County specialties that Yu Min couldn’t buy in Kyoto and sending them over. They were all meant to ease Yu Min’s homesickness, in case she missed the taste of home.

The package would arrive in Kyoto tomorrow. Because there were fresh items inside, it had to be signed for tomorrow; it couldn’t be delayed.

“Minmin doesn’t know yet. Boss Lin, could you help me with this? Sorry to bother you again,” Zheng Qing said. Then, knowing she was being annoying, she hurriedly added, “If you’re not free, then forget it. It’s fine. Just leave it there. Next time, when you’re home, I’ll send it again. This time it was my oversight; I forgot to tell you in advance, and I got too busy to think about it.”

If she delivered the goods and hurried, she could still make it back that day. Before leaving, Lin Baixin had said she’d return in two days, so she had no choice but to change her schedule and head back early the next morning.

When she got to the house in Kyoto, it was the weekend and Yu Min had already gotten up. She didn’t seem the least bit surprised that Lin Baixin had come back early. That day, the auntie hadn’t come, so Yu Min tied on an apron and moved around the stove, making just enough food for two people; not too much, not too little.

“Next time this happens, you can let me sign for it. Don’t delay your real work,” Yu Min said.

Lin Baixin sat across from her. The food Yu Min made suited her taste very well, and one of the dishes was stir-fried celtuce shoots, which Lin Baixin especially liked.

“I happened to finish receiving the goods earlier, so I came back right after,” Lin Baixin replied. She didn’t mention the message Zheng Qing had asked her to pass along, nor did she ask whether Yu Min wanted to go to Jincheng early after winter break to celebrate the New Year there together. Instead, she took a roundabout approach. “For this year’s winter break, do you have any plans?”

“It’s still early. There are still one or two months left; I don’t know yet.” Yu Min answered. “Nothing for now. If there’s nothing else, I’ll probably stay here. What about you?”

“I might have to go to Hai city,” Lin Baixin said.

The chopsticks in Yu Min’s hand froze in midair. She had expected Lin Baixin to say she was staying in Kyoto too, but that wasn’t the answer. In recent years, Lin Baixin rarely went back to Hai city for the New Year. At least with Yu Min here, she always stayed in Kyoto with her during holidays and festivals. Every year, she only went back for Lin family parents’ memorial days and Qingming Festival; no matter how big the matter, she wouldn’t leave at any other time.

This year there was a change. It was no longer the same.

“You’re going there for the New Year?” Yu Min asked in disbelief.

Lin Baixin nodded. “Mm. There’s something this year.”

“What thing?”

“A relative’s daughter is getting married.”

“Which day?”

“The third day of the new year.”

The third day of the new year wasn’t New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day itself; there was still some time left. There was no need to go that early. Leaving a day in advance or flying over that same day would both be fine.

Yu Min knew very well that Hai city didn’t have any relatives who would require Lin Baixin to go early before the New Year to help out. If there had been such people, Lin Baixin wouldn’t have been taken in by Uncle Xiao back then.

“How long will you be gone? What day are you coming back?”

“Not sure yet.”

“Are you staying there for Lantern Festival?”

“We’ll see.”

That meant she very likely wouldn’t be back in Kyoto until after the fifteenth; once she left, it would be at least half a month.

Yu Min knew full well what Lin Baixin was actually going there for. In any case, it wasn’t for a relative’s daughter’s wedding. She didn’t say much out loud, though; she didn’t object to Lin Baixin going, and she had no right to object.

Social obligations were a normal part of life. She couldn’t be willful; she couldn’t stop her.

Zheng Qing sent over a huge cardboard box of things. Most of it was food, and the two of them couldn’t finish it all. Since the things couldn’t keep for too long, they could only give a lot of it to Lin Qi and the others, otherwise it would go bad and be wasted.

For once, Yu Min rarely took the initiative to message Zheng Qing and thank her.

Zheng Qing was overjoyed, as if she’d won a prize. But it was impossible for their relationship to improve just because of this tiny thing. Zheng Qing was still sensible enough to know that, and afterward she still didn’t disturb Yu Min much, afraid that if she pestered her too often, Yu Min would dislike her even more.

The first semester of junior year hadn’t ended yet; they were only at the tail end, and the class was already discussing next year’s hospital internship. They talked about which departments were the hardest, which were easier, which departments had difficult patients’ families, and which students in previous years had caused huge scandals that shook the whole school during internships.

“What major is more miserable than medicine? You work for free and still have to pay out of pocket just to go to work. It’s outrageous.” The class monitor sighed every few words, shaking her head. Her dream was already on the verge of shattering in the face of brutal reality, and she couldn’t stop worrying. “Sigh, and they say it gets worse later. We won’t even be able to stay in the school dorms then, because the hospital will be too far away, so we’ll have to rent places outside. Rent here is so expensive. Even shared housing, when you add it all up, is almost as much as a year’s dorm fee.”

Yu Min wasn’t listening. She wasn’t worried about that at all.

The monitor asked, “Minmin, will you rent a place too, or live in the place assigned by the hospital? If we end up assigned together, do you want to share a place?”

Yu Min said, “I’ll live at home.”

“Will you have time to get to work?”

“I don’t know. If not, I’ll deal with it then.”

Everyone had their own worries; people’s worries never really overlapped. Everyone had their own present troubles.

Not long after, Lin Baixin also asked about the internship, and even asked Yu Min, “Will you need to rent a place near the internship hospital then?”

Yu Min said firmly, “No. Too much trouble.”

“Isn’t a long commute the trouble? Running between several places is even more trouble,” Lin Baixin said.

“It’s fine. I can just get up earlier,” Yu Min said. “If it really doesn’t work, there are inns and hotels near the hospital too. If it gets too late, I’ll stay in a hotel; if it’s not late, I’ll come back.”

Lin Baixin hadn’t expected that solution and raised an eyebrow.

“That works. Do whatever you think is best.”

It was clear Lin Baixin was thinking of Yu Min’s convenience, but Yu Min didn’t need that kind of consideration. It was no different from telling her to leave.

Last time Lin Baixin had promised she wouldn’t abandon her, but in the blink of an eye those words had become empty talk, as if she had never said them.

Yu Min pressed her lips together, the joints of her fingers tightening slightly; in front of Lin Baixin, she still managed to hide all her emotions and not show them.

Having money really was better. Jiang Zhou had been right about that too; money could solve too many things.

At the end of the year, rent collection time came around, and several large transfers gradually arrived in Yu Min’s account. After receiving the money, Yu Min didn’t feel much at first. But soon she discovered that money really did buy a great deal of freedom. She fell into depravity; first she walked into a luxury store and bought a bag, then never carried it even once. She unwrapped it and turned around to sell it secondhand to Lin Baixin.

Just like Song Chu had done, except not quite as exaggerated. She only bought two bags, which was already quite frugal.

But compared to Song Chu’s bluntness, she was much more aboveboard, because it was her first time buying a bag on her own and she didn’t understand anything. After buying it, she felt it wasn’t suitable, so she didn’t want it anymore.

Lin Qi was puzzled. “Why did you go buy it yourself? If you want new ones, our shop doesn’t lack them. We’ve got plenty of bags that were just delivered and sent right over. You’re a total beginner buying this stuff yourself; if someone tries to fool you, you probably wouldn’t even notice.”

As she spoke, she picked up the bag Yu Min had just bought and looked it over, then affectionately patted Yu Min on the back of the head. “See? What did I say? This style isn’t suitable for young people like you at all. The color and design are both old-fashioned. Who recommended this to you? They were just trying to con you. That’s no way to bully people.”

Yu Min said, “No one recommended it. I picked it myself.”

“Oh.”

“The nice ones were sold out.”

The two bags Yu Min bought could only be sold at a heavy loss. Lin Qi was generous; she treated her own child like a treasure, waving a hand and telling Yu Min to pick whatever she liked in the shop. Whichever one she wanted, she could have it, and it would be a gift.

When Lin Baixin heard about this and saw the two bags, she had a headache too. Yu Min’s taste was truly hard to praise. Lin Baixin selected a few brand-new, unopened bags for her instead, paying out of her own pocket at the shop’s listed price so Lin Qi wouldn’t take a loss.

“You’re being too formal. What, she’s your sister and I’m an outsider?” Lin Qi protested unhappily.

Lin Baixin said, “Settle the bill first. Don’t say that.”

In the end, Lin Baixin paid the bill. As for Yu Min’s two bags, Lin Qi discounted them to Yu Min at the original price, and Yu Min accepted them, taking the chance to treat everyone in the shop to a meal.

Because of that bag-buying incident and that meal, Yu Min gradually started coming to the shop more often. Recently she had begun to take an interest in bags, as if she’d inherited Zheng Qing’s flaw and grown fond of them.

Lin Qi taught her how to identify bags and how to choose styles. Bags were divided into ranks too: which ones held value, which ones were worth collecting, which ones weren’t worth buying, and how to care for them… Naturally, she dragged Lin Baixin in as well to guide Yu Min. Lin Qi said cheerfully, “Your sister knows more. Ask her more. Don’t go buying nonsense next time.”

Lin Baixin taught her too. Yu Min wasn’t very good at identifying materials or telling different kinds of leather apart. Lin Baixin took the bags down and taught her one by one. Yu Min leaned closer to look, moving right up beside Lin Baixin’s face. Lin Baixin didn’t notice, and with one slight turn of her head, her lips brushed Yu Min’s temple.

Warm. Hot. Carrying the scent of lipstick.

Both of them felt it clearly.

No one paid attention to the movement here. No one saw it.

Lin Baixin froze for a moment, then kept going as if nothing had happened, calm on the surface, continuing her explanation without blinking.

Yu Min lowered her eyes and listened earnestly. She didn’t care much about what had just happened either; she casually examined the leather bag.

Summer gave way to winter, and the years flashed by in an instant, impossible to catch or keep.

In the end, Lin Baixin still decided to go to Hai city. She left on the evening of the twenty-eighth day of the twelfth lunar month. Yu Min saw her off at the airport, didn’t try to keep her there, and even helped her pack her luggage.

After getting out of the car and walking some distance, Lin Baixin stopped again. When she turned back to look, Yu Min and the car were already far away, no longer where they had been.

Her chest suddenly went hollow, as if something had been taken out of it.

Standing there unable to move, Lin Baixin hesitated for a long time. But in the end, she still resolutely boarded the plane to Hai city.

When she arrived in Hai city, it was an uncle from a relative’s family who came to pick her up. Hearing that Lin Baixin was living with Yu Min, the uncle thought she would bring someone along, but in the end there was only Lin Baixin alone.

The uncle asked a few more casual questions, asking Lin Baixin why she hadn’t brought that child along. He didn’t know how old Yu Min was; he only thought she was a student still in school. Students were children in adults’ eyes; that was how it was.

“She didn’t come. She couldn’t come,” Lin Baixin said, lying to her relative.

Spending the New Year in Hai city was even less pleasant than when she’d once spent it alone. After all, she wasn’t familiar with these relatives; sitting together to celebrate the New Year felt awkward, and it was hard to blend in, even though the relatives treated her very well and very considerately.

She still regretted it somewhat. Lin Baixin tugged at her collar, her heart full of complicated emotions.

She had left, and things with Kyoto had been cut off. She didn’t look for Yu Min, and the other side didn’t look for her either. No messages, no phone calls, no response of any kind.

Yu Min was probably angry. Lin Baixin knew that.

The only phone call came from Lin Qi. Over the phone, Lin Qi rambled on and on, telling Lin Baixin to pick her up; this year she was also coming back to Hai city for the New Year.

“Didn’t you say you weren’t coming back?”

“You care what I do? I changed my mind. What, not allowed?”

Lin Baixin went to the airport to pick up Lin Qi, but the person who arrived was not only Lin Qi.

In the middle of winter, Yu Min was dressed lightly, having hurried to Hai city with Lin Qi on short notice. From far away, Lin Baixin saw her first. By the time the person came closer, Lin Baixin still hadn’t reacted. Only after Yu Min hugged her once and she felt the cold air on Yu Min’s body did something shift in Lin Baixin’s heart, softening her inexplicably.