Chapter 48

For quite a long stretch of time, Yu Min seemed to slip back into the state she’d been in during the last semester of senior year: every day, she buried herself in reading and studying. Midterms, finals, all kinds of major and minor exams, experiments... For medical students, the moment they opened their eyes, it was time to study, and the knowledge was as boundless as the sea. Their textbooks were thicker than a brick; one of them could crack a person’s skull if it fell, and even if you studied yourself to death, you still couldn’t get through it all.

Yu Min needed something to distract herself, something to keep her mind occupied as much as possible; otherwise, those tangled thoughts would keep tugging at her heart.

She stopped going to the shop too, so she wouldn’t go there and make herself upset.

She no longer ran over there every few days; instead, she went back to her old routine. When she had time, she went to the library, and when she didn’t, she went home. When there was nothing to do, she played with the cat and tended the plants.

At first, no one noticed anything unusual about her. It wasn’t until almost a month had passed without her showing up that Lin Qi and the others at the shop gradually realized something was off.

Lin Qi specifically went to ask Lin Baixin, “Why haven’t I seen our little sister coming by lately? What’s she so busy with?”

Lin Baixin answered truthfully, “Nothing much. Studying.”

“Isn’t final exam season still a ways off? She’s starting her review this early?” Lin Qi muttered, doing the math and finding it baffling. “No, that doesn’t sound right. Last semester she didn’t start this early either. What month is it now? She’d still have time to prepare later. Is our little sister trying to rank first in her major, or is she planning something in advance? Did she join some competition or something?”

“No.” Lin Baixin’s lips parted, then she paused. Thinking that she hadn’t really paid much attention to Yu Min these past few days and actually had no idea how Yu Min was doing at school, she changed her answer. “Probably not. She’s home on weekends; she just hasn’t come over here.”

“If she has free time, why doesn’t she come over?” Lin Qi didn’t understand. “Could she be dating again?”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

“How can you tell whether it seems like it or not? You didn’t notice the last time either. These days, young girls all have a mind of their own and don’t like being controlled. How could she fall into the same pit twice? If you could catch it this time, that’d be a miracle.”

Lin Baixin glanced at Lin Qi and didn’t argue with her about whether Yu Min was dating again. After a moment, she only said, “She isn’t dating. Stop guessing.”

Because of that, Lin Qi even made a trip to Lin Baixin’s place to see what Yu Min was doing.

Yu Min really didn’t look like she was in a relationship. At least, Lin Qi couldn’t tell. Lin Qi asked Yu Min out for late-night snacks, and Yu Min went. She also asked her to go shopping on the weekend, and Yu Min agreed to that too.

Unable to figure out what was going on, Lin Qi, being straightforward by nature, simply asked directly.

“Tell me, okay? I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Yu Min said, “There really isn’t anything. Why would I lie to you?”

Lin Qi leaned in a little. “Is it because of your sister?”

“No.”

“Your sister made you mad again?”

“No.”

Lin Qi insisted on getting to the bottom of it. “Then what is it, exactly? There’s no way this happened for no reason. Let me tell you, you can fool your sister, but you can’t fool me. I don’t buy it.”

Yu Min set down her pen. “I’m not fooling you.”

“Sure. And I’m the emperor.”

“Believe it or not.”

“You stubborn kid. Why are you so hard-headed? I’m worried about you because I care about you; do you understand?” Lin Qi spoke earnestly, practically itching to poke her with a finger. The more Yu Min stayed silent, the more worried Lin Qi became. “Your sister’s even more anxious than I am. Don’t be fooled by how calm she looks; these past two weeks, she hasn’t even dared to work overtime. She comes home on the dot every day and leaves the shop to me alone. Nothing can keep her from coming back to check on you; she just doesn’t say it.”

Yu Min didn’t know. She couldn’t feel it. Lin Baixin mostly didn’t work overtime anyway, unless something was urgent or only she could handle it.

“Don’t believe me? A couple of days ago she even asked me to come check on you. If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you our chat log.”

“I’m not looking.”

Lin Qi insisted, pulling out her phone right there and opening WeChat. She had to look; she absolutely had to look.

“Now do you believe me? I’m the one who isn’t lying. I thought something had happened at the time, but I couldn’t get away that day either, so I didn’t come.”

Yu Min gave an “oh” and repeated, “I’m not mad at her. It’s not what you think.”

“Is that so? Fine, I believe you.” Lin Qi laughed. “Kid, why don’t you go look in the mirror right now? Who do you think you’re fooling? Your feelings are written all over your face, and you’re still trying to argue. Do you think I’m stupid?”

“...”

After coaxing her for quite a while, Lin Qi still failed to pry out a single word and had no choice but to give up. Before she left, she told Yu Min that if there ever came a day she wanted to talk, she could come find her anytime; she’d really help keep it secret and absolutely wouldn’t tell anyone else.

When Lin Baixin came back, curious about what they’d talked about, Yu Min said calmly, “Nothing much. Sister Lin Qi just sat here for a bit and then left.”

Lin Baixin already knew what they’d talked about; Lin Qi had spilled everything the moment she turned around. Lin Baixin had listened to Lin Qi’s words, and she came to probe Yu Min’s reaction as well. Yu Min’s response only confirmed Lin Qi’s suspicion. Lin Qi really hadn’t been worrying for nothing; Yu Min did have something on her mind.

They chatted casually for a while. Then Lin Baixin asked directly, “Is it because of me?”

Yu Min said, “No.”

Unlike Lin Qi, Lin Baixin didn’t press further. She stopped there. After a long while, she said softly, just like Lin Qi had, “Whenever you want to talk, we can talk then.”

Yu Min didn’t speak; there wasn’t anything to say.

Some things should be buried deep, hidden forever, not loudly announced to everyone.

For several days in a row, Lin Qi kept coming over. Sometimes she even stayed for dinner. She was alone, with nothing to do after work, so she could only force herself to wander over and, while she was at it, keep an eye on Yu Min.

Yu Min was extremely self-disciplined. Most of the time she was reading; otherwise, she was listening to vocabulary words. She had always had good habits, habits built from childhood into adulthood, and once you grew up, they were hard to change.

Since she was studying, Lin Qi didn’t want to disturb her whenever she came by. With nothing else to do, she could only pet the cat, tease the cat, and spend time fiddling with Lu Dagun.

“Hey, your cat seems to have grown a lot. It used to be such a tiny thing, and now it’s grown this fast? It’s already kind of between kitten and adult now. How much does it weigh?”

“Two jin and three liang.”

“It’s not heavy, but it really does look bigger.”

Lu Dagun had a big frame, bigger than most kittens, and grew faster too. Whenever Yu Min was reading, it would lie on the desk; it didn’t press on her books or her things, and it didn’t bother its owner. It was well-behaved. If Lin Qi wanted to hold it, it wouldn’t struggle and would let her hold it nicely, though only for a little while. Before two minutes were up, it would wriggle free and run back to Yu Min.

“This cat is really attached to its owner; how strange. Aren’t cats supposed to be impossible to tame? Why is it so close to you?” Lin Qi kept muttering. “Some day I’m going to raise one too, just to keep me company. Otherwise, I’m all alone every day; sigh. Not like you two, living together. I’m honestly so jealous.”

Lu Dagun’s belly was round and soft, very pleasant to touch. Yu Min liked poking its tummy whenever she had nothing to do. Lu Dagun had a good temperament and would obediently lie there every time, letting her touch it.

Yu Min took it to the hospital for vaccinations, and Lin Baixin went with her. While they were there, she also asked the doctor about neutering.

Kittens were best neutered after six months of age, and before summer arrived, they should be bathed less often; in fact, it was better not to bathe them at all. Yu Min wrote down all the doctor’s advice. Only after they left did she ask Lin Baixin, “Do you mind?”

Lin Baixin didn’t react at first. “Mind what?”

Yu Min said, “It can’t be washed.”

Of course Lin Baixin didn’t mind. Since the day Lu Dagun had been brought home until now, it hadn’t taken a bath even once. The little one had been bought from a proper cattery, and the shop owner had repeatedly emphasized all of this. Lin Baixin knew it well; although she had a slight obsession with cleanliness, there was no way she’d mind. That would never happen.

As if she had some concerns, Yu Min was unusually sensitive. After holding it in for a while, she finally said, out of nowhere, “If I and it still live here with you in the future, I’ll take it for regular baths. You don’t need to dislike it.”

Lin Baixin froze and looked at her, then said gently, “How could I dislike it?”

Maybe one day you will...

Yu Min thought that to herself, but didn’t say it out loud. She couldn’t say it; that would be too deliberate. She wasn’t just talking about the cat; she was talking about herself too.

Lin Baixin liked cleanliness. Her room was always spotless. Having a cat meant shedding fur; it would run around the whole house and make trouble. That was the opposite of Lin Baixin’s long-established way of living, and it would affect her.

Yu Min knew that, just like Lu Dagun, one day she would probably affect Lin Baixin too. Lin Baixin didn’t like girls, but she did not...

Rubbing Lu Dagun’s little cat head, Yu Min thought of all this and inevitably felt heavy-hearted. She forced herself not to keep thinking about it. She wouldn’t worry about a problem that hadn’t happened yet; she’d figure it out when the day came.

Because she had too much free time, Yu Min started learning how to make cat food for Lu Dagun. Every day she bought fresh meat home and cooked it. Lu Dagun loved shrimp and dried chicken breast. Yu Min looked it up online; those packaged commercial products had additives and weren’t healthy. Making cat food wasn’t hard, and making dried meat and other cat treats at home was simple too. Most importantly, Lu Dagun wasn’t picky at all; whatever Yu Min made, it ate with great relish. So Yu Min ended up with a new hobby, fussing over what Lu Dagun ate whenever she had nothing else to do.

One day, after making cat food, she’d overdone it a little and was tired. She fell asleep on the sofa. When Lin Baixin came home from work, she’d been about to call out to her, but seeing her asleep, she entered quietly and approached slowly.

Yu Min didn’t look the same when she was asleep as when she was awake. Once asleep, her guard dropped. She was curled up slightly, covered by a blanket, with Lu Dagun lying quietly on top of her head, completely still.

Seeing Lin Baixin, Lu Dagun lifted its head after a while, but didn’t get up. Lin Baixin subconsciously made a shushing gesture and stood there silently for over half a minute.

At the time, Yu Min actually wasn’t fully asleep. She knew Lin Baixin was back; she had heard the sound. With her eyes closed and her breathing steady, she looked as if she were truly sleeping soundly. Only after the person in front of her walked away, and after a while longer, did Yu Min move slightly and turn her body to look toward the direction Lin Baixin had left.

Lu Dagun gave a weak meow, jumped onto Yu Min’s chest, and as soon as it saw she was moving, hurried over to rub against her.

That stalemate continued until the day Lu Dagun was taken in to be neutered. That day, both of them went to the hospital. While the little one was having surgery inside, they sat on the chairs in the hospital lobby. Yu Min ground the tips of her shoes against the floor tiles. The hospital tiles were very shiny, reflecting light; if she lowered her eyes, she could see the other person in them.

They made small talk for a while as usual; all of it was trivial, unimportant stuff. Yu Min wasn’t really in the mood to talk about any of that. Maybe because she was worried about Lu Dagun, every second felt hard to endure. Suddenly, Yu Min said, “There’s a girl in our class. She’s different from the others.”

Lin Baixin turned slightly to look at her.

“What is it?”

Yu Min hesitated twice, unsure how to say it clearly. After gathering herself for a bit longer, she continued, “She doesn’t like men. She dates girls... That’s very strange, isn’t it?”