Chapter 12

“This damn weather. It didn’t rain early, didn’t rain late, and then the second military training ended, and it came pouring down. We got sunburned for nothing for a whole week. Look at me—I’m practically black as charcoal already.” One of the other boys in the group wailed in indignation.

Military training was over, and with it the scorching sun disappeared. In its place came a stretch of overcast rain; the classroom windows were fogged with moisture all day long, as if they were trying to shut out every disturbance from the outside world.

High school meant a heavy workload; they could no longer be as careless and lazy as they’d been in middle school, and that was even more true in the top class. From the very first day of school, Class 32’s pace had been ahead of the other classes; there was more homework, the goals were harder and heavier, and while the other classes had their first exam in October, Class 32 had already done a major placement test during military training, then another one half a month later.

Yu Min was among the small group of students who could keep up with the class’s fast pace. Some students were left behind and complained bitterly, but she was all right. Maybe it was because she had started self-studying ahead of time over the vacation; she didn’t think it was especially difficult or tiring. On the contrary, she found herself absorbed in it.

Studying could distract people from bad emotions; it could pull them out of a messy, helpless reality.

Yu Min especially liked the extra problems on the last page of test papers, as well as the optional assignments teachers gave out as special challenge work. Those were more difficult and interesting than the basic exercises.

Her deskmate Wen Yun often worked on hard problems with her; they shared methods for solving them, and sometimes even made questions for each other, then discussed how to apply the knowledge in specific ways.

“You two are just freaks. Not normal.” Zhao Shiyu lay sprawled over her desk, stuffing her mouth with a newly bought bag of chips, crunching away loudly. “Aren’t you tired in class? And you don’t even rest during break—you still study. Just watching you gives me a headache. It’s all babble-babble-babble; I can’t understand a word.”

Wen Yun flipped a tangerine peel candy over and shoved it into Zhao Shiyu’s mouth, refusing to listen to her droning.

“Eat your candy.”

Zhao Shiyu obediently ate it and kept chewing. Then, earnestly and with her words slightly muffled, she said, “Minmin, you deserve first place. I admire you so much. I just can’t do it. Mm... I can’t study; my brain isn’t as sharp as yours. It can’t fit that much stuff in.”

Yu Min answered honestly, “If you calm down and stop getting distracted all the time, you’ll naturally be able to study.”

“I’m not distracted! I listened seriously in class, okay? No choice; even though it’s all the same lesson and the teachers don’t really say anything that different, the gap between people is just that big.” Zhao Shiyu lifted a hand and waved it around, changing direction ridiculously fast. “Oh, right, can I borrow your physics exam paper and take a look? I want to compare answers.”

Yu Min was willing to lend it, but Wen Yun stopped her. Wen Yun mercilessly exposed her: “Don’t lend it to her. She didn’t do her homework; she just wants to copy yours.”

Zhao Shiyu immediately argued, “I did write it. Half of it.”

Wen Yun said, “Then you can write the other half yourself too.”

Zhao Shiyu shouted, “Don’t! I’m too late! Save me, please, I can’t turn in my homework. This is a capital offense! Please, save my poor dog life...”

The sisters, one cool and slow-tempered, the other a little livewire, had Yu Min stuck between them for nearly half a semester. With two noisy people around her, the long hours of school didn’t feel quite so hard to endure.

North and south were far apart; there was very little news coming back from the other city.

Teacher Qi asked everyone to write down the major and school they hoped to attend for the gaokao, as motivation for studying. Yu Min couldn’t put pen to paper. She had no goal. In the past, Zheng Qing had planned everything for her; now that her parents no longer cared, she seemed unable to find a direction to move in, not knowing where she was supposed to go.

Or rather, she had no drive. Studying had always been self-driven, and she didn’t know where she should go in the future, where she should end up.

People worked hard for results. Yu Min hadn’t figured out what result she wanted. Was it for interest? For a job and money? For a foothold in society, to climb one more step?

It seemed like none of those.

Her elbow propped on the desk, chin resting in her hand, Yu Min leaned against the rooftop railing and stared blankly. The distant clear blue sky met the densely packed roofs of the county town; beyond the mountains was more mountains, rising and folding outward in layer after layer. No one knew how far they would have to stretch before reaching that famous prosperous city.

Every student in the class had to fill out a target list. What Yu Min wrote was the expectation Zheng Qing had once held for her: medicine, Kyoto, X University, clinical medicine.

“You’ll definitely get in. It’ll be easy for you.” Zhao Shiyu was sweet-tongued and good at flattering people; she praised her, then asked, “But why do you all want to go to Kyoto? It’s so far from home. What if you get homesick after you go? Sure, the plane ride is only two or three hours, but running back and forth is such a pain. It’s not like you can just come home whenever you want.”

Yu Min said, “I can come back during vacations.”

Zhao Shiyu objected, “Not necessarily. Weekends count as vacations too, but there are only two days. Just the plane ride and then the transfer back to Siping would take more than half a day. By the time you got home, you’d probably stay one night and have to rush back to school again. You’d at least need a long break of three days or more to come back, but there are only a few of those in a year—National Day and May Day, that’s it. For the other holidays, it depends on how the schedule gets adjusted, so who knows how long you’ll even get. Anyway, I’d never want to apply that far away. I can’t bear to leave my family. They’re the most important people to me, and I absolutely would never leave the province, even if you killed me.”

Important people... did Lin Bai Xin have important people here?

Did Uncle Xiao count?

If he did, then why hadn’t the other person come back to Siping for two or three months?

“When you go to school in another city, there’s a good chance you’ll end up working there later and never come back,” Zhao Shiyu continued; she actually understood quite a lot. “Our little county doesn’t have much development potential. I don’t plan to stay here forever in the future; if I can stay in Jincheng at most, that’s enough. Jincheng is only a little over an hour’s drive from here. Even if I had to go back and forth every day, it wouldn’t matter.”

The speaker meant nothing by it, but the listener took it to heart. Yu Min frowned, the line of her lips nearly flattening into a straight line.

Then Lin Bai Xin was the same too, wasn’t she? Would she stay in Kyoto to work in the future?

The odds were too high. What could someone with a finance major possibly do if she came back to Siping County? The opportunities and prospects of a big city were far beyond what this place could offer; it was the difference between heaven and earth.

Big cities were better than small places. In every respect, they had overwhelming advantages. Lin Bai Xin was so excellent; of course she would stay out there.

Yu Min understood that. Rationally, she knew better than anyone.

People moved upward, just as Zhou Jin had said.

Lin Bai Xin was in her second year of graduate school this year; she should graduate the year after next. By then, once she had started working, she would be even less likely to come back here; and by that time, Yu Min would only be a high school senior...

During the monthly school break, Yu Min followed her routine of borrowing books and returning them. Lin Bai Xin wasn’t there, so she couldn’t see it; she was obedient, and when the holiday came, she went to the house across the way and stayed there during the day.

Aunt was displeased. “Where have you been running off to all day? Every time there’s a break, no one can find you.”

Yu Min lied without blinking, calm and steady. “Studying at school.”

“I called your homeroom teacher. She said you weren’t there.”

“I was at the library, not in the classroom.”

Unable to tell whether she was lying or not, Aunt’s expression turned complicated. She reminded her, “Next time you go out, tell the family first. Don’t keep sneaking off without a word.”

Yu Min nodded. “Mm. I’ve worried you.”

“If you have time, call your dad back. He asked about you these past few days. Don’t still hold it against him; he was doing it for your sake... Forget it, just remember to call him back. Don’t forget.” Aunt had recently had a falling-out with Uncle Xiao. Husband and wife never went through life without quarrels, but the arguments were irritating, and Aunt was annoyed at everyone now, so her tone was heavy and prickly.

Yu Min didn’t call back. She hadn’t received any missed call from Yu Shengyu, and she didn’t know whether Yu Shengyu had simply never called or had dialed the wrong number. It wasn’t shown on her phone, so there was no way to return it.

Her MP3 earphones had been repaired. Not long after getting the money, Yu Min took them to the shop and had them fixed. She didn’t buy a new pair; the old earphones had been a birthday gift from Zheng Qing, and once you got used to something, replacing it with another pair felt wrong.

Being alone was a little too quiet, so Yu Min wore her earphones and listened to music while reading. For a while, she’d been listening to “Half,” a new song released last year.

The music app had a friend-sharing function. Her old phone’s screen was lagging, and when she switched songs it didn’t respond smoothly. It froze. She tapped it hard a few times, and by the time the phone became responsive again, the link had already been sent; it had gone to the top contact.

Yu Min didn’t notice a thing. Before the phone became smooth again, the screen had gone black, and she simply backed out of the interface in a few quick taps, shut it down, and restarted it... By the time she realized who the link had been sent to, it was too late to take it back.

It was just one song; if it was sent, then it was sent.

Yu Min gave up struggling and pressed her lips together, thinking about how to explain it.

She did it by accident. Sent it to the wrong person.

They never chatted casually. Before, she had only ever sent questions; sending a song now felt strange. Or maybe she should just send a question too, to make it look natural?

But sending a question would seem deliberate, even stranger, like she was trying to cover something up on purpose. It wasn’t a big deal.

Better to leave it alone and let fate decide; she’d see how the other side replied and think of an excuse then.

Yu Min took off her earphones and drew a light breath, waiting for Lin Bai Xin’s reply.

—The chat window stayed frozen on that one message; Lin Bai Xin didn’t reply.

Yu Min had worried for nothing. She’d been making a mountain out of a molehill.

“Is there anyone in your class dating in secret?” During the Monday long break, Zhao Shiyu came over mysteriously to quietly probe her.

Yu Min said, “I don’t know. Probably not.”

“What about secret crushes? Any or not?” Zhao Shiyu was annoying, full of questions.

Yu Min didn’t make a sound. Just as she hit a moment of inspiration while solving a problem, she turned into a mute.

Zhao Shiyu changed the question. “Is there anyone secretly in love with my little sister?”

“Not sure.”

“Probably yes.”

“Maybe.”

“Really?!” Zhao Shiyu bristled at once. “Who? Who’s got the guts? I’m going to tell the teacher on him!”

Glancing at her, Yu Min turned her head, not understanding why Zhao Shiyu was so excited.

Zhao Shiyu forced herself to stay calm, hesitating as she spoke. “No, I... I just mean I’m worried it’ll affect my little sister’s studies, that’s all... I’m supervising her. Stuff like that absolutely has to be stamped out in the cradle. Once I find out, I won’t let it slide. What if it delays her studies? She’s the hope of our family; she absolutely can’t mess around.”

“Oh.”

“Really, early dating is out of the question.”

Winter break for the first semester of high school was given as usual. No. 1 Middle School started vacation earlier than the other schools, and Yu Min left campus at the very last possible time. The sky was growing late and dark; she dragged her suitcase slowly toward the school gate. Aunt had informed her last week that Yu Shengyu would come pick her up, and she couldn’t keep staying at Aunt’s place anymore. She had to go back to the Yu family home.

She moved so slowly it was like a turtle inching along, and Yu Min was slower than a turtle; inch by inch, she drew nearer, until a familiar car came into view.

The one who came to pick her up wasn’t Yu Shengyu.

Yu Min froze in place, dazed, unable to move at once.

Seeing how dumbstruck she was, Lin Bai Xin smiled and teased her softly, “What, you don’t recognize me anymore?”