“2013”

After calming down and taking a hard look at herself, Chen Tong felt certain of one thing: she was definitely not the sort of person who acted purely on impulse.

Before the age of twenty-three, she had lived an ordinary life, one in which she never dared to dream. She said unlovable things, did uninteresting things, took Chen Xiaoping’s goals as her own, and treated Chen Xiaoping’s desires as her own desires.

But if she thought about it carefully, her muddled way of living had not all been because of Chen Xiaoping. Most of the time, it was actually because she herself was poor at grasping her own wishes, and even worse at expressing them; she was only good at imitation and observation.

After twenty-three, she made the two most impulsive decisions of her life within a single month.

One was quitting her job and coming to a crew she had never once wanted to join. The other was suddenly wanting to become an actress.

One led her to Chi Xiaoman. The other made her unable to forget Chi Xiaoman for the rest of her life.

But at that moment, Chen Tong still could not say just how much of her sudden wish to act had been influenced by Chi Xiaoman, and how much came from curiosity, attraction, infatuation, or even the desire to possess that glittering quality Chi Xiaoman seemed to carry around with her.

She also could not tell how deep that desire really went, or whether it was serious enough for her to say it aloud.

So before she was sure, Chen Tong did not want to admit it too early; part of that was also because she found it too hard to voice.

Yet that night, Chi Xiaoman said,

“Sure. Why not?”

It was still before dawn. The lights in the cinema were turned up very brightly, and when Chi Xiaoman said that, her tone was just as bright.

It made Chen Tong laugh helplessly. “Why do you think that’s okay?”

In fact, for the first half of her life, she had always been taught by Chen Xiaoping, by teachers, and by school a basic principle of dealing with people: everything had a cost and a price, and to them she was good enough that her time was naturally precious; she should not waste time and effort on something so unlikely.

But now.

Chen Tong herself felt that the thought she had just had could not even be called unlikely. It was not even a mature thought yet, not something she truly wanted to achieve or do.

“Doesn’t it seem strange?” she asked Chi Xiaoman softly.

Chi Xiaoman looked into her eyes and said nothing for a long while, as if Chen Tong herself were the strange one.

But after a few dozen seconds, Chi Xiaoman curved her eyes and smiled at her with utter nonchalance.

“Then, Sister Chen Tong, do you think I’m strange?”

Chen Tong froze.

Chi Xiaoman looked all smiles, but her tone was oddly earnest, almost solemn.

“I’m a girl from a small place. I’m not capable, I don’t have the conditions, I don’t have money, and I never took any arts exam. I never learned any skills when I was young either. I just watched TV and thought those actors were amazing, so I sneaked alone to Beijing to study advertising. I said I wanted to be an actress, but actually I never really studied acting either. I worked three jobs a day, but I still wanted to make movies, and I even told people everywhere that I wanted to be a big star…”

She paused there.

Then she looked at Chen Tong, her gaze so sincere it felt as if she were truly asking a serious question.

“What about me? Am I not strange?”

To be honest, Chen Tong had not never seen people like Chi Xiaoman before.

But among those people, only Chi Xiaoman never avoided it, never feared it, and seemed basically never to be defeated by her present circumstances.

There was almost no trace on her of all the setbacks she must have gone through. Yet in reality, many things that had happened to her could hardly be called smooth sailing.

Chen Tong moved her lips, wanting to say “not strange” so Chi Xiaoman would not get angry, but in the end she still told the truth.

“Strange.”

Because Chi Xiaoman would not get angry at all.

And sure enough, after hearing that, she only laughed more. “That’s right!”

She went on, “What’s so bad about being strange?”

“Being strange just means we’re precious!”

“Unique!”

At that word, Chi Xiaoman lifted her chin proudly. Maybe because she had stayed up all night and had just yawned, her eyes were a little wet and red, but she still looked as though she were glowing.

“Okay.” Chen Tong looked at her.

She reached out to touch the little bun of hair wobbling outside her hat. Chi Xiaoman’s hair was soft, but there was a lot of it, so even a few loose strands made it look messy, making her seem like some untamed wild animal.

“You’re the most unique,” Chen Tong said.

“Not true.” Chi Xiaoman’s hair went fluffy from being touched, but she did not mind; instead, she wrinkled her nose and stressed very seriously, “Sister Chen Tong, you have to think you’re the most precious, the most unique.”

Chen Tong went blank.

But the next second, she laughed too, and followed along. “Okay, I’m the most precious, the most unique.”

Her voice was soft, like she was coaxing Chi Xiaoman.

So Chi Xiaoman scrunched her face. “Fine.”

She thought for a moment, then said to Chen Tong in a more earnest tone, “Then let’s try it first.”

“Try what?” Chen Tong didn’t catch on.

The next second, she met Chi Xiaoman’s eyes.

Only then did she realize Chi Xiaoman had taken what she said seriously, and she felt surprised. “Xiaoman, actually I still haven’t thought it through—”

“No.” Chi Xiaoman’s rebuttal was firm. “You can’t think this sort of thing out just by thinking. You have to do it yourself; only after you do it will you know whether you like it or not.”

Her tone was also very forceful.

As if the biggest premise for deciding whether to do something was whether you liked it.

That did not fit Chen Tong’s past principles for handling things.

But Chi Xiaoman was decisive.

It was as if, within the brief two minutes Chen Tong spent in astonishment, Chi Xiaoman had already automatically worked out some plan in her head.

She took the laptop she had already put away and took it back out of the laptop bag.

Like a little spinning top.

She busied herself in a fluster inside the counter.

Looking for a power outlet.

Found one.

Dragged the cord over.

Turned the laptop back on.

Found a new film.

Sat down beside her.

Very focused, she adjusted the window size and the volume.

Finally, Chi Xiaoman said to her,

“Let’s watch this movie again first. Whatever you feel while watching, you can tell me. Don’t be like just now, not saying a word. And don’t be shy; don’t feel awkward.”

“Because I’m your girlfriend now.”

Mentioning this, Chi Xiaoman seemed very proud. She tilted her face and emphasized, “We’ve even kissed already, so now whatever you want to say, good or bad, embarrassing or not embarrassing, you have to tell me.”

Chen Tong, still muddled, watched her running up and down and listened to her rambling nonsense. She wanted to laugh, but did not quite want to laugh, so from start to finish she only watched her with softened eyes.

Chi Xiaoman noticed.

She sighed.

She reached out, turned Chen Tong’s face away from looking at her, and made her look at the laptop screen, then complained,

“I know I’m very pretty, but you don’t have to keep staring at me.”

She glanced at her, her voice lowering. “Otherwise we won’t even watch much of the movie before we start kissing again.”

Chen Tong laughed so hard it nearly hurt.

But after seeing Chi Xiaoman’s tightly pressed lips, she still obediently looked at the laptop screen.

It was a very long movie.

Over two hours.

By the time they finished watching it again, the sky was already bright.

Chi Xiaoman’s night shift was nearly over too.

There were morning screenings at the cinema. She yawned slowly, sent the audience into the theater, changed out of her uniform, swapped shifts with the colleague who had arrived, then went to pat Chen Tong, who was sitting in a lobby chair, waiting for her while dozing off.

“Chen Tong, Chen Tong, we should go home.”

“Mm?” Chen Tong usually had a hard time sleeping well.

She had also stayed out all night that day.

At the moment she was a little dazed, half-opening her eyes to look at her and answering, “Okay.”

Her voice sounded a little hoarse.

But very obedient.

Chi Xiaoman thought she was adorable.

So she crouched down, hugged her knees, and looked up at Chen Tong’s drooping eyes from below in a mischievous way.

Chen Tong squinted for a moment. Maybe because she opened her eyes and saw Chi Xiaoman looking at her in such a strange posture, she laughed.

When she laughed, her eyes would narrow too.

She looked more vivid than usual, more like a living, breathing person with the heat of the world on her.

Chi Xiaoman laughed with her too.

The two of them laughed at each other for a while.

Then Chi Xiaoman stood up, crouched in front of Chen Tong’s seat like a little turtle, and said, “I’ll carry you home.”

“Mm?” Chen Tong’s first reaction was still to refuse. “I can walk by myself.”

“No.” Chi Xiaoman was stubborn.

And she gave no reason.

She looked like if she didn’t carry her, she wouldn’t move.

Chen Tong looked at her narrow shoulders, at her pale neck, at her washed-faded T-shirt hanging loosely across her back.

There was nothing she could do.

Chen Tong climbed onto her back.

She was still a little sleepy, so she called her softly, “Xiaoman,” then said in a gentle voice, “Why are you being so good to me?”

Only after she was sure Chen Tong was settled did Chi Xiaoman stand up.

Unexpectedly, though she was thin, she had a lot of strength; even carrying Chen Tong, she stood very steadily.

And she did not rush to leave.

Chi Xiaoman adjusted herself into a posture that felt comfortable for Chen Tong, then walked forward slowly and said slowly too,

“How is this considered being good to you?”

“I’m your girlfriend. This is all what I should be doing,” Chi Xiaoman said.

“Nonsense.” Maybe because she was sleepy, Chen Tong had also picked up Chi Xiaoman’s tone, and after saying that she gave no further explanation at all.

So Chi Xiaoman let out a giggle, but because she was afraid of disturbing her rest, she did not laugh for long; she swallowed the laughter back and carried her home slowly.

From the cinema to Xingfu Road.

That road was neither long nor short.

Usually, Chi Xiaoman would walk home to save on bus fare.

But now, because she was carrying Chen Tong, she did not save the bus fare. She took the drowsy Chen Tong in the morning and spent four yuan to ride two precious bus stops.

After getting off, she kept carrying her.

She brought her home.

Put her onto the small bed.

Then she herself yawned again.

Outside, in the early morning breeze that was a little cool, she wrote the advertising copy she needed for the day in front of the garage door.

Perhaps because she had watched the same movie twice, Chen Tong fell asleep and had a very strange dream.

She dreamed that she went to make movies, acted in scene after scene in front of the camera, and received a lot of applause, attention, and honors. In the end, she stood on the podium giving her acceptance speech, with many people below smiling at her and looking at her with praise, but there was not a single Chi Xiaoman looking at her.

Her acceptance speech was very long, and it did not mention Chi Xiaoman’s name at all.

That was strange.

So after waking up.

Chen Tong sat by the bed and stared blankly for a while.

She felt that the dream of actually making movies and even winning an award was absurd. And she also felt that there not being a Chi Xiaoman in the acceptance speech was equally unreal.

But the absurdity of those two things was basically the same.

Chen Tong didn’t think too much about it.

Her head hurt.

So she got out of bed.

Walked outside.

And saw Chi Xiaoman slumped by the door, hugging the computer and nodding off.

The computer screen was filled with dense text. It was the advertising copy she had written after coming back.

Chen Tong looked at her for a while and wanted to take the computer away.

But Chi Xiaoman was very cautious.

The moment Chen Tong reached out, Chi Xiaoman opened her eyes a little, and after seeing that it was her, she grinned and said something disconnected and out of nowhere.

“Not that easy.”

Chen Tong laughed.

She thought Chi Xiaoman was very cute, and also that her face in the sunlight was so lively and beautiful. She thought it would be best if only she herself could see this kind of cuteness, this kind of beauty, and then thought that would not be good.

Because she still hoped Chi Xiaoman could get what she wanted; she hoped that in the future she could become a great actress, a big star, so that many people would see her cuteness and love her.

But she should not be blamed or nitpicked too much for her naivety, her recklessness, her sensitivity, and the too-much warmth she sometimes gave off. Those little things were precious too, and Chen Tong hoped she could keep them forever.

That day she looked at Chi Xiaoman and quietly thought a lot of distant things.

She also thought about the things she had said to Chi Xiaoman the night before, and the two movies they had watched.

In fact, when she watched the second time, Chen Tong still did not have many thoughts about it. She had lived for twenty-three years and had never been involved in this field; she also did not really know what kind of performance counted as good, or what kind of film counted as wonderful.

So at the time, she had not been able to say anything to Chi Xiaoman’s serious face.

She had only quietly followed along and watched it once more.

But Chi Xiaoman probably thought she was sleepy, so she did not ask further.

And now, after sleeping a little and waking up.

Even Chen Tong herself thought this idea was laughable and far too unrealistic.

Maybe it was because of all those business cards from talent scouts over the years, and because Lang Lang had asked her on their first meeting whether she wanted to make movies, and because Chi Xiaoman believed in this matter… these things had given her some kind of illusion, making her think it might be possible.

But in reality.

Chen Tong’s personality was very ordinary and plain; she did not possess the creative ability to make movies.

Of course that did not mean there was anything wrong with her; it only meant she was not special enough.

Chen Tong did not feel resentful about that, and calmly accepted it.

But Chi Xiaoman somehow woke up suddenly.

And somehow, propping her chin up, she looked at her with great curiosity and asked,

“Chen Tong, Sister Chen Tong, what are you thinking about?”

“How did you wake up so quickly?” Chen Tong gently changed the subject. “Do you want to go back to bed and rest?”

“No,” Chi Xiaoman said.

Then she asked again, “Chen Tong, Sister Chen Tong, what are you thinking about?”

If Chen Tong were a sufficiently qualified lover, she should, by rights, tell Chi Xiaoman all her weakness, unease, and anxiety in meticulous detail.

But since this was only their second day as girlfriends, and Chen Tong was not good at this, and did not like admitting so quickly in front of Chi Xiaoman that she was a timid, ordinary, talentless person who was completely different from her.

So she smiled, avoided Chi Xiaoman’s eyes, and said nothing.

Chi Xiaoman looked at her for a while. Maybe she sensed her mood; she did not press further like she had in the cinema. Instead, she half-closed her eyes and sat in the wind for a while, then tilted her chin as she thought.

“Mm—later, let’s go find Lang Lang for dinner and tell her both things.”

“Okay.” Chen Tong agreed, then reacted. “Both things?”

“Mm-hm.”

Chi Xiaoman rested her chin in her hand. “First, we’re dating.”

She glanced at Chen Tong and smiled. “Second, you want to be an actress too.”

The two sentences were as firm as they had been at the beginning.

They made Chen Tong unable to admit that less than five hours later, she would regret it. She looked at Chi Xiaoman and was silent for a long time before speaking.

“Xiaoman—”

“Chen Tong, Sister Chen Tong, believe me.” Chi Xiaoman suddenly cut her off. “Lang Lang will definitely be very happy too.”

Chen Tong froze.

Chi Xiaoman gave another sleepy yawn, then smiled.

“Now she’s got two movie heroines!”

After saying that.

She did not give Chen Tong any chance to object.

She lowered her chin.

And fell deeply asleep.

At that moment, the morning sun was rising, golden and dazzling.

Chen Tong looked at her for a long time, and in the end there was nothing she could do; she could not wake Chi Xiaoman, who had fallen asleep, just to tell her—

Actually, I regret it, because I don’t think my thoughts about this are as firm as you imagine, and because I think I definitely won’t do as well as you in this matter.

She could only carefully carry the sleeping Chi Xiaoman back inside to sleep.

And so she also failed to notice——

after rolling onto the bed like a little lamb, Chi Xiaoman’s eyes quietly opening, and the quiet breath she let out.

Because Chi Xiaoman was childish in her thinking, impulsive in her actions, and not rational enough, but she had always believed that in moments like this, someone had to push a little. Maybe with just one more person’s support, the result would be different.

-

The way they met Lang Lang at Felicity Noodle Shop was very direct.

It was at night.

Chi Xiaoman had finished her part-time work, rushed over from the hotpot restaurant, and after taking a shower and only blow-drying her hair halfway dry, she stood excitedly between the two buildings, threw a stone at the window of Lang Lang’s place, and shouted from below,

“Lang Lang! Lang Lang!”

Then Lang Lang pushed the window open, lazily draped herself over the sill and yawning as she looked down at them.

“What is it?”

“I’ve got something to tell you!” Chi Xiaoman shouted excitedly from below.

“Spit it out, spit it out.” Lang Lang seemed to still be getting over a cold; she was wrapped in a blanket, and her voice sounded weak too.

“Hehe.” Chi Xiaoman took Chen Tong’s hand.

Like she was lifting a trophy, she raised their joined hands high and said,

“First thing; we’re together!”

To be honest, that was very high-profile; plenty of nearby residents opened their windows to look.

Chen Tong had never done anything so bold before.

But in that moment.

She looked at the smiling eyes of Chi Xiaoman, and at the sparkling sweat on Chi Xiaoman’s face.

In the end, she did not dodge, and could not help laughing along.

Then she looked up at Lang Lang on the second floor.

Lang Lang rested her chin on her hand.

She clicked her tongue.

“I knew this day would come sooner or later, but I didn’t think you’d move this fast.”

Chi Xiaoman went, “Eh?”

She lowered the hands they were holding. “How do you know?”

“How is that hard to guess?”

Lang Lang rolled her eyes and shut the window.

Then she slowly came downstairs. Seeing the two of them standing together, she sighed.

“You two have been exchanging glances since day one, okay?”

“Huh?” Chi Xiaoman’s eyes widened, as if she herself found it surprising. “Really?”

“Really.” Lang Lang said lazily.

These days, the black roots of her hair were growing out more and more, and she still hadn’t redyed it. The yellowed ends clumped together, making her look a little pale. “So what else?”

She seemed to really be close with Chi Xiaoman, and to understand that Chi Xiaoman’s excitement was not only about this one thing.

—Chen Tong thought quietly.

But that was not because she misunderstood the relationship between the two of them. She understood that their relationship was special, that they had known each other for a long time and had supported each other along the way, but that it absolutely had nothing to do with flirtation or love.

This quiet feeling could only be described as… dissatisfaction with herself. If she could, Chen Tong wished she could be the person who understood Chi Xiaoman best.

“How do you know again?” Chi Xiaoman muttered, but still spoke very properly. She cleared her throat and said, “Congratulations; you’ve got two movie heroines now!”

Her ending tone rose, her voice full of pride.

As if their movie were going to premiere tomorrow.

And after she said that.

Lang Lang’s eyes widened instantly too, and she looked at Chen Tong in surprise. “Seriously?”

Maybe it was that at that moment, both of them were looking at her with almost identical expressions.

Chen Tong could not deny it, so she nodded and said hesitantly, very helplessly, “You could say that.”

“That’s great!”

Lang Lang rolled her eyes. “Then let’s try the first scene now?”

That was clearly far beyond Chen Tong’s expectations.

She was extremely astonished.

But she did not even have time to object.

Chi Xiaoman said, “No, let’s eat first. I can’t let my girlfriend go hungry.”

“Fine.” Lang Lang did not object and nodded, then suddenly ran upstairs, ran back down, and finally stopped in front of them, out of breath, holding the old DV she had used before.

“We’ll start after dinner.”

To be honest.

Everything that summer had gone far beyond Chen Tong’s expectations.

Quitting her job, coming to a crew, meeting Chi Xiaoman, becoming roommates with her, being drawn to her, kissing her lips under the neon lights like she had lost her mind, confirming their relationship less than twenty-four hours later, receiving Chi Xiaoman’s firm and open love, and then less than twenty-four hours after that, laying bare her own fascination with her, being pushed by her to say one thought after another that she did not really want to admit even in her own heart.

And in the end, by verbal agreement, becoming one of the heroines of a movie that did not even know whether it could be filmed.

For the first time.

For the first time, Chen Tong said the word “want.”

And went to do it right away.

And that immediate action was not immediate in the abstract, in terms of resolve.

It was immediate in time.

That made Chen Tong feel utterly unbelievable.

When she came back to herself.

They were already sitting at the outdoor table in front of Felicity Noodle Shop.

It was already evening then. Twilight was falling little by little; Felicity Noodle Shop had turned on a lamp that looked warm, with insects circling it in the light, and the air outside was still hot.

After ordering.

Chi Xiaoman was naturally warmhearted. Seeing a little girl at the next table crying and refusing to eat, she volunteered, ran over to their table, took a small bowl, and with a smiling face and gentle coaxing fed the little girl soft, boiled white noodles.

Chen Tong watched her and could not tell whether the little girl with tears on her face was cuter, or whether the bustling Chi Xiaoman doing everything she could was cuter.

After watching for a while.

Chen Tong turned her head and saw Lang Lang looking at her.

A focused appraisal, a thoughtful look, as if she were considering from which angle to set up the camera for her.

To be honest.

Chen Tong rarely spent time alone with Lang Lang. Most of their contact came through Chi Xiaoman.

But with Chi Xiaoman gone for the moment.

There were only the two of them at the table.

Chen Tong did not feel awkward, but she also did not take the initiative to say anything.

So Lang Lang smiled at her, took a sip of the cooled water, and suddenly asked with great curiosity,

“Chen Tong, are you curious why my relationship with Xiaoman is so good?”

She had not expected her momentary distraction to be noticed. Chen Tong was startled for an instant, and also felt a little apology for that thought of hers. But she really was not honest enough, so she did not admit it. She just smiled. “A little.”

“Well then.” Maybe because she was ill, Lang Lang coughed a little tonight. After coughing for a while and suppressing it, she said slowly,

“Xiaoman and I really are just seniors and juniors.”

“We just happened to hit it off. Two girls, both outsiders in Beijing, both not having it easy; we just thought if we could help each other, then we should help each other, and that’s how it gradually got to now.”

That was indeed the truth Chen Tong had seen. She nodded. “I know.”

Lang Lang hummed.

Then—she saw Chi Xiaoman glaring at the neighboring table to scare a little boy, and she laughed again. “Actually, I have a younger sister.”

That, Chi Xiaoman had never mentioned. Chen Tong turned back too, looked at Chi Xiaoman for a while, and the corners of her eyes could not help curving up; then she noticed Lang Lang’s gaze on her, so she withdrew her eyes and smiled at Lang Lang, asking, “Does your younger sister look like Xiaoman?”

“No.” Lang Lang shook her head. “She’s timid. She doesn’t dare speak in front of people, she often hides away and cries, and she’s not nearly as loud as Chi Xiaoman.”

Chen Tong nodded.

“But she died.” Lang Lang suddenly said. Then, after Chen Tong froze, she smiled and said in an even tone, as if she were talking about something very ordinary,

“If she had grown up, she’d be about Xiaoman’s age now.”

Lang Lang said softly,

“You know I like writing, and I like imagining things. So sometimes I imagine what she would have been like when she grew up. I can’t tell whether I feel it or hope for it, but anyway, in my imagination, she would also be like Xiaoman; positive, optimistic, cheerful, not afraid of anything…”

She did not say much. She took a sip of water, looked up, adjusted her glasses, and smiled at Chen Tong.

“But it’s best if she doesn’t have to suffer as much as Xiaoman did.”

It was hard to say how to describe Lang Lang’s voluntary self-disclosure.

But later, whenever Chen Tong thought of Lang Lang, the strongest impression she had was always of that night——

The light in Felicity Noodle Shop flickering on and off, Chi Xiaoman teasing two children beside her.

A temperature of thirty-nine degrees, and Lang Lang still wrapped in a zip-up athletic jacket.

After saying that sentence.

She seemed to see through all of Chen Tong’s shallow and not entirely honorable thoughts, but was still very forgiving, not criticizing her for them, and instead casually resolving her worry.

“Maybe I’m just especially fond of being the older sister to people.”

After the noodles were served, Lang Lang took a bite.

Seeing that Chen Tong’s bowl didn’t have much in it, she picked several pieces of meat from her own bowl and put them into Chen Tong’s.

“Eat more. Don’t believe what people outside say; actresses can’t be too thin. You have to eat more meat, then your body will be better and you’ll be able to hold up.”

Chen Tong said nothing. To be honest, she felt that in front of Lang Lang and Chi Xiaoman, she was never an honest person.

And these two would always see through her, yet would never mind her dishonesty.

After a long while, she picked up her chopsticks, lifted a bite of noodles, ate it, and said slowly, “Thank you.”

“No need.” Lang Lang said. “And no need to be embarrassed either.”

She was a screenwriter, perhaps having seen many movies, encountered many works, and encountered much of reality.

Yet in this modern society.

She still seemed strange in her own way, and always very chivalrous; she said to her with great generosity,

“After all, from today on, you count as my little sister too.”

Chen Tong suddenly could not speak.

Lang Lang laughed again.

“What? You don’t even know I’ll be thirty next year?”

Chen Tong was very surprised. “You don’t look like it at all.”

Lang Lang clicked her tongue. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It is a compliment.” Chen Tong smiled.

Then she remembered something else. “Then how did you meet Xiaoman, if you’re that much older than her?”

“I used to rent a really cheap shared apartment next to the school.” Lang Lang narrowed her eyes.

As if recalling how she had met Chi Xiaoman. “Then one night I was walking home and kept feeling like someone was following me. Xiaoman, at the time, was riding her bicycle and huffing and puffing with that backpack of hers, rushing to beat the school curfew, so I ran over, said nothing, and plopped myself straight onto the back seat of her bike.”

Chen Tong laughed out loud. “And then?”

Even as she asked, she seemed able to imagine Chi Xiaoman’s reaction at the time; she must have been startled first, then very nervously gripping the handlebars and pedaling hard to take Lang Lang away from the scene.

“Then—” Whatever came to mind made Lang Lang laugh too.

“Then she turned around and shouted at that guy, ‘Hey, what are you doing!’”

Chen Tong laughed and nodded. “Mm. That really does sound like something she’d do.”

“Exactly.” Lang Lang also lifted her chin in agreement, then looked at Chi Xiaoman, who was sitting one table over and doing her utmost to feed noodles to a strange child, and smiled.

“Chi Xiaoman is just like that.”

Chen Tong thought of the words “loyal and righteous,” then looked at Lang Lang’s somewhat pale face in the summer night and said softly, “Actually, you are too.”

“Me?” Lang Lang seemed a little surprised that she would say that about her, but she did not object, and simply nodded in agreement. “Of course. I’m the greatest screenwriter in the world, after all.”

She rolled her eyes and added,

“And I discovered the two most promising actresses in the world.”

For once, Chen Tong did not feel the urge to refute that.

She laughed, said nothing else, and unlike just now, did not feel even a trace of dissatisfaction from the connection between Lang Lang and Chi Xiaoman.

Because that connection was very pure and not exclusionary at all; on the contrary, it had a lot of room for Chen Tong, the outsider.

Just two loyal and righteous people.

That was the most precious thing the twenty-three-year-old Chen Tong, poor in imagination and barren in life, learned from these two people.

“Chi Xiaoman, come eat!” Lang Lang suddenly shouted.

Chen Tong pulled her thoughts back and looked over at Chi Xiaoman’s table.

“Ah?” Chi Xiaoman turned her head under the light and saw that both of them were looking at her.

Then she also smiled.

She put down the half-fed bowl of noodles, pinched the child’s cheek, and answered,

“Coming!”

-

Felicity Noodle Shop, an old lamp, an old table with a greasy sheen, many flying insects, and three bowls of noodles eaten halfway.

Three people.

In three directions, staring at one another.

Lang Lang took the old DV up from underneath the table.

She touched her chin.

And told them about the first scene in this script, while also neatly assigning roles.

Chi Xiaoman would play Xiaoyu.

Chen Tong would play Shu.

Chi Xiaoman borrowed a piece of corrugated cardboard from the spicy hotpot shop next to Felicity Noodle Shop, cut it open, and used a child’s watercolor pen from the neighboring table to write on it:

Scene One, Take One.

Date: July 31, 2013.

Screenwriter: Lang Lang.

Starring: Chen Tong, Xiaoman.

When she wrote the names.

Chi Xiaoman found herself in a difficult spot and asked, “So what’s this movie called?”

Lang Lang touched her chin and shook her head very solemnly. “It doesn’t have a title yet.”

“Call it Felicity Noodle Shop, call it Felicity Noodle Shop.” By then there wasn’t much business left, and the owner of Felicity Noodle Shop was a good person, so she let them use the space. A child originally doing homework inside had dragged over a stool and craned her neck to look, joining in the noise.

“Since you borrowed our place, give our shop some free advertising!”

The owner walked over with a rice spoon, tapped the back of her head, and said, “Don’t talk so much.”

Then she smiled at them apologetically. “You two continue creating.”

Chi Xiaoman also smiled at the owner. “Got it.”

After smiling, she patted the little girl next to her, who was waiting to take the watercolor pens back, on the head. Then she very awkwardly leaned her own head into the center of the table and asked, “Do we have to come up with a title on the spot?”

Lang Lang also leaned in. “If we come up with it now, who’s going to do it?”

At that, the two of them seemed to think of something at the same time. They looked toward Chen Tong together, their eyes puzzled, as if asking—there’s only you missing, why aren’t you coming over too?

Chen Tong had no choice. Though she had never done anything like this before, she could only cooperate and lean in too, saying slowly, “Anything is fine.”

“Mm—” Chi Xiaoman dragged the sound out while touching her chin. “How about Xiaoman Lang Lang Chen Tong?”

Lang Lang clicked her tongue. “You even put your own name first on purpose.”

“Oh, right—” Chi Xiaoman seemed only then to realize it, and she giggled. After laughing, she wrinkled her nose and explained, “I just thought it sounded smoother that way.”

Then she immediately raised a hand and made a fierce vow. “Anyway, whoever fights for billing position gets struck by lightning!”

“Fine.” Lang Lang made a fake microphone with her hand and held it to her mouth. “Then may I ask, what core meaning does your creation express?”

“That the originality of this movie is Xiaoman, Lang Lang, and Chen Tong; not one can be missing,” Chi Xiaoman said with complete confidence.

Chen Tong laughed beside her.

So Lang Lang turned to ask her too, “Then you come up with one as well.”

“Me?” Chen Tong laughed helplessly. “I’m not good at this.”

“What’s there to it?”

Chi Xiaoman lifted her chin. “Didn’t I come up with Xiaoman Lang Lang Chen Tong too?”

“If you really can’t think of anything, then call it Felicity Noodle Shop,” the child interjected again.

Lang Lang pursed her lips. “Relax, I think whatever you come up with will be better than those two names.”

“Okay.” Chen Tong stopped refusing. Looking at the eyes of the two grown-ups and two children, all bright and intent under the lamp, and at the red writing on the corrugated board and the row of watercolor pens spread across the table, she thought for a moment and said,

“How about calling it Neon?”

The moment she said it.

The owner of Felicity Noodle Shop stopped mid-motion with her rice spoon and looked at her.

The child doing homework looked at her too.

The little girl waiting to take the watercolor pens back looked at her.

Chi Xiaoman and Lang Lang also looked at her.

Chen Tong thought they all found the title bad, and that she had spoken too casually, so she quietly took a sip of water and wanted to explain that she had only said it offhandedly.

But the next second.

Chi Xiaoman suddenly turned around, high-fived the little girl beside her, and said, “I think it’s great!”

“Agreed.” Lang Lang nodded. “Better than the first two by a lot.”

“Then what about calling it Happy Neon?” the child who was doing homework kept butting in. “That has so much meaning. Or make it catchy and call it Zheng Kexin’s Neon!”

At that,

The owner called from inside, “Zheng Kexin, stop embarrassing me every day!”

Chi Xiaoman turned back with a grin. “Next time, next time.”

Then she smiled again and wrote the film’s title on the corrugated cardboard, stroke by stroke:

Neon.

After that.

She proudly held up the corrugated board for them to see. “How is it? Our trial shoot slate?”

“Pretty good; the writing’s nice.” Lang Lang patted the cardboard, then lifted the DV and pointed it at them, filming a couple of test shots. “Once you’re ready, we’ll start the test.”

They really moved fast.

And they did not give Chen Tong any room to hesitate.

Seeing the DV pointed at her, she subconsciously pressed her lips together.

Chi Xiaoman went, “Hey.”

And said, “Chen Tong, Sister Chen Tong, don’t be scared. You have to get used to the camera eventually.”

She seemed to have already made up her mind that from now on she would treat her as an actress, no matter what.

But because the weather that day was so hot, Chen Tong felt it was too late to object now. She could only lift her head and look helplessly at Lang Lang’s camera, saying hesitantly,

“Is this okay?”

“Of course.” Lang Lang held the DV pointed at her.

She said,

“When you’re my actor, you can relax a little. It’s always the camera coming to you, not you going to the camera.”

“Usually when acting in films, actors also shouldn’t stare directly at the camera,” Chi Xiaoman added from the side.

“As long as you get used to its presence, until it gradually feels like it isn’t there anymore, and then you just think of yourself as the character and act.”

Chi Xiaoman made the matter sound very easy.

Chen Tong hesitated and nodded. “Okay, I understand.”

But she still couldn’t help asking the next second,

“Are you filming now?”

“No.” Lang Lang said. “Though this isn’t exactly official, we should at least have a slate.”

Chi Xiaoman held up the corrugated board and looked left and right, then saw that the child at Felicity Noodle Shop had already finished her homework, and smilingly asked,

“Little Zheng Kexin, would you like to come help us call the slate?”

“Sure.” Zheng Kexin stood up very generously and walked over. After studying the corrugated board for a bit, she asked, “I just have to shout once, right?”

“Right.” Chi Xiaoman began teaching her what to say later.

After teaching her, she didn’t neglect the little girl beside her either, giving the watercolor pens back and smiling as she said, “Then why don’t you be the director?”

The little girl with puffy eyes nodded.

After arranging all this.

Chi Xiaoman nodded in satisfaction.

“Okay, now the director, screenwriter-cum-cinematographer, actors, production crew, and cameraman are all here.”

Before the formal start of the test shoot.

She deliberately asked Chen Tong, “Chen Tong, Sister Chen Tong, do you think it’s okay now?”

And when Chen Tong hesitated, she leaned in nervously and added, “Or should we prepare a little more first?”

She said “we,” because she did not want Chen Tong to feel pressure alone.

It also seemed as if they were truly in some solemn opening ceremony, and Chen Tong was one of the most important, most indispensable actors among them.

Faced with four pairs of eyes.

Chen Tong seemed to have no chance to run away.

Besides, this was only a try.

Chen Tong persuaded herself and nodded. “Okay.”

“OK!” Lang Lang stepped back with the DV. “Camera ready.”

The child named Zheng Kexin obediently walked over to Lang Lang’s side. “I just have to clap the board here later, right?”

The director was carried by Chi Xiaoman onto another stool; under her parent’s smiling gaze, she teared up as she prepared to call action.

Only two people were left at the table.

Chen Tong.

And Chi Xiaoman, who had never stopped looking at her.

“Don’t worry.” Chi Xiaoman smiled and came over to take her hand. “Let’s just treat it like playing house.”

Given how seriously Chi Xiaoman took acting, calling this playing house was already as much reassurance as she could offer Chen Tong.

Chen Tong had no way back.

She met Chi Xiaoman’s eyes under the dim yellow light and, after a long while, said softly,

“Okay.”

“OK, everyone check once more that you’re in position,” Lang Lang said very formally.

Chi Xiaoman did not speak again.

But she still looked at her, eyes bright, seeming to place a great deal of faith in her.

Zheng Kexin hurried over to their table, picked up the corrugated board, awkwardly opened and closed it once, and muttered in a low voice,

“Actually I still think Neon of Zheng Kexin sounds better…”

Above them was the flickering light of Felicity Noodle Shop. Chen Tong quietly held her breath, and suddenly felt something in her chest begin to beat at a speed on the verge of going out of control—yet this sensation was unique across her entire life, so in that brief and long summer night, she could not tell whether the accelerated heartbeat was because of the camera behind her, or because of the pair of eyes Chi Xiaoman was using to look at her.

And with her heartbeat slowly speeding up.

She could only do her best to find Chi Xiaoman’s eyes in the dizzying light, and find the things that made her feel safe. Even though that safety would only make her heartbeat continue to spiral out of control.

Fortunately, that loss of control did not last very long, and did not make her reveal any anxiety or embarrassment in front of everyone.

Because at that moment, Chi Xiaoman suddenly scratched her finger, then smiled at her. Her eyes curved with that smile; she looked bright and radiant, as if made of gold.

It also made Chen Tong, like an anchor rediscovered in a weary, drifting space voyage, find once more the place where she could settle herself.

Chen Tong lost herself because of that.

She did not know how long that daze and dizziness lasted. She only felt that Chi Xiaoman’s face under the light was becoming more and more blurred, as if covered by a very thick sheet of glass; only her eyes remained clear, still looking at her and never moving away.

She tightened her fingers, and then heard several voices behind her, chaotic yet perfectly synchronized, rise up——

“Neon, Scene One, Take One.”

“Action!”

“Xiaoman.”

Chen Tong blurted it out instinctively.

And in that instant.

In the dizzying halo of light, she suddenly opened her eyes and discovered that sunlight was flooding everything.

And Chi Xiaoman was sitting on the edge of the bed in front of her, sitting upright, looking very tired, her expression impossible to tell as good or bad.

Her face still bore a different sort of brightness; she was very young, with so much precious cuteness on her.

She sat under the almost overflowing sunlight, still wearing a very ordinary T-shirt, though it was a size smaller than before; the collar hung loosely, and it had probably been worn for a long time, faded by washing. But she had suddenly grown much thinner, her chin sharp, her spine protruding, the flesh in her cheeks hollowed out. She looked very different.

Her skin was very pale, making her look even thinner; she seemed to have no great happiness left inside her body, and would not suddenly spring up all fire and energy, shouting at her——Chen Tong, Chen Tong, let’s go try this scene.

Because she saw her wake up.

Chi Xiaoman’s first reaction was not to curve her eyes and smile. Instead, she went blank for a moment, then called her in a very soft voice,

“Chen Yue.”

[Author’s Note]

Updating Little Neon on time for its thirty-sixth day [sunglasses]

My favorite kind of transition is here again, hehe [glasses]