Chapter 65

That night, Wei Xiaolu did not leave her room again.

As if as long as she stayed behind her bedroom door, the thing confining her was only a physical barrier—something that had nothing to do with her thoughts, or with everything that had happened.

But when she woke the next morning, sleep had already worn down the collapse from the day before. Aside from her nerves still being sensitive and that dizzy, foggy feeling that reminded her of yesterday’s loss of control, she had mostly recovered.

A faint fragrance drifted in from outside.

Wei Xiaolu climbed out of bed and stumbled over to open the door. She saw Shen Siyan carrying a bowl and some plates out of the kitchen, and breakfast for two was already set on the table.

“Baby’s awake,” Shen Siyan said with a smile.

Wei Xiaolu suddenly felt hot all over, but it wasn’t the kind of heat that came with embarrassment; it was a prickly, numbing sensation that made her want to curl up and hide.

She instinctively avoided Shen Siyan’s gaze, but what she said was still deliberately affectionate. “I’m awake. What delicious thing did Sister make? It smells so good, I’m practically getting dizzy from it.”

“Corn cakes,” Shen Siyan said, waving her over. “Come try some.”

“Right away! I’m going to brush my teeth!” Wei Xiaolu dashed off, finished washing up in no time, and came back holding a piece of corn cake to eat.

“How is it?” Shen Siyan asked.

Her mouth was completely full, so Wei Xiaolu’s words came out muffled. “So good.”

She noticed Shen Siyan smile, but it wasn’t the pleased smile she had expected; it was a little polite, and that made Wei Xiaolu rush to add, “Getting to eat the fairy-tale breakfast made by Sister—I’m so happy.”

“Eat slowly,” Shen Siyan only said.

Maybe because Shen Siyan had made breakfast, after Wei Xiaolu finished eating she also wanted to do something in return, to prove she had some value.

Yesterday she had messed up the living room, but now it was clean and neat, so Wei Xiaolu circled the space and started a round of spring cleaning—clearing out the old and welcoming the new.

Shen Siyan was quite enthusiastic about helping, but Wei Xiaolu kept feeling awkward sharing the room with her, so she could only force her attention onto the cleaning in front of her.

She scrubbed with unusual force, as if that would also wipe away yesterday’s embarrassment. But since she was completely terrible at housework, her tidying was a mess. She was only halfway through clearing the tabletop when she grabbed the rag to wipe the windowsill, and every move betrayed a frantic need to prove something without any clear direction.

Until—she accidentally kicked over the bucket, and water spilled across the floor.

Wei Xiaolu froze. The thin, false layer of “I’m fine” on her face cracked soundlessly under Shen Siyan’s gaze.

“I didn’t mean to.” Wei Xiaolu gripped the rag tightly.

“It’s okay.” Shen Siyan righted the bucket. “If you’re tired, you can rest for a bit. I’ll hire a housekeeper to handle the rest.”

Hire a housekeeper too? Wei Xiaolu felt stifled.

Does that mean I can’t even do housework properly?

Suddenly, Wei Xiaolu didn’t want to say anything at all. But she still forced her way past the resistance in her body, smoothed out her temper, and put on a strained smile for Shen Siyan. “I can do it myself. There’s only a little left. See how clean I’m making the place?”

“Very clean.” Shen Siyan gave her a thumbs-up.

“It’s like new!” Wei Xiaolu carried in the dry mop and started cleaning up the mess. “From now on, every morning when I open my eyes and see everything this clean, I’ll feel better right away.”

Shen Siyan didn’t follow up on that burst of “excitement.” Leaning against the doorframe, she looked at Wei Xiaolu with an unreadable expression for two seconds.

“So, you can keep living here?”

The question made Wei Xiaolu deeply uncomfortable. Her scattered anxiety surged back through her limbs and bones, and it was all too easy to ignore the retention and relief in Shen Siyan’s words.

“Mm.” Wei Xiaolu answered.

Shen Siyan asked again, “Do you still need to go home once?”

“I’m not going back.”

Shen Siyan nodded. “So Uncle and Aunt can accept it now?”

Wei Xiaolu said nothing.

She could understand that Shen Siyan was asking without knowing the details, but she couldn’t understand why she felt so irritable, so desperate to use the old trick again: retreat to her room, close the door, and use physical separation to cut off Shen Siyan’s probing.

After a moment of silence, she said, “I don’t know.” She threw down the mop and turned toward the balcony.

And Shen Siyan followed.

“I heard you taking a call last night. Did they not give you any clear answer?”

Wei Xiaolu forced out one word. “Right.”

“What about your brother—”

“Stop asking!” Wei Xiaolu suddenly covered her ears. “Can’t we just leave it alone if it can be left alone? Anyway, it’s really awkward right now! I don’t want to talk about it, so can you not bring it up separately?”

Shen Siyan looked at her.

It only made Wei Xiaolu’s temper rise higher.

“Some things don’t need to be made that clear,” Wei Xiaolu said. “This is fine as it is. Even if you ask more, you won’t get anything out of it. I just know they don’t want to talk about it directly, and I don’t know what they’re really thinking!”

“Then are we still going skiing?” Shen Siyan asked.

“How would I know whether we’re going or not? I’m not—” Wei Xiaolu suddenly cut herself off. The crease between her brows slowly smoothed as she looked at Shen Siyan in a daze. “Skiing?”

“Mm.” Shen Siyan asked again, “Do you still want to go skiing with me?”

Wei Xiaolu froze, blinking blankly.

Probably seeing how lost she was, Shen Siyan let out a soft sigh with a smile. She stepped closer and, beneath the clothes drying on the balcony that still carried traces of both their lives, pulled Wei Xiaolu into her arms.

“If you want to go, I’ll need to prepare in advance,” Shen Siyan said.

Held in that embrace, Wei Xiaolu felt the misfortunes of the past few days melt like cream, and the muddy pit of emotion inside her seemed to turn into running water and wash away.

“I don’t want to go,” Wei Xiaolu said suddenly.

“Okay,” Shen Siyan said with a smile. “Then we’ll do something else.”

“I don’t want to do anything.”

Shen Siyan kissed her forehead. “Then we won’t do anything.”

The irritability faded, and Wei Xiaolu seemed to see their relationship itself again, along with the beautiful possibilities stretching out from it.

She lingered in Shen Siyan’s arms, tugging at Shen Siyan’s necklace for a while, then pinching the pom-pom on her own clothes for a while. Shen Siyan made no sound, as if she had calmly accepted all of Wei Xiaolu’s strange behavior.

Wei Xiaolu’s slow-reacting genes proved themselves again. Only after being held like that for a long while did she belatedly feel a little embarrassed, push Shen Siyan away, and go back to finish the cleaning she hadn’t finished yet.

Other than that, there was nothing extra she felt.

Except awkwardness.

Because she had always been the likable one before; suddenly throwing a tantrum and exposing her flaws left her with a strange, awkward feeling, like she could no longer face Shen Siyan so openly with that sweet image.

Probably just like all the other times when their relationship had first shifted, Wei Xiaolu thought. As long as she adjusted for a couple of days, it would be fine.

She had planned to use the rest of the holiday to get used to each other a little more, but the imagined doing nothing quickly vanished in the face of reality.

—She got an interview notice.

That night, she and Shen Siyan were curled up together on the sofa watching a movie when her phone screen lit up. Wei Xiaolu usually wouldn’t have interrupted the movie to check a message, but this time she had a strong feeling and opened her phone anyway.

“An interview on January 4th,” Wei Xiaolu said, and by then she was completely uninterested in how the movie would end.

Shen Siyan immediately took her phone and glanced at it. “This company has a lot of promise.”

That one sentence sent Wei Xiaolu straight into a frenzy. She rushed back into the bedroom, came out hugging her laptop, and said, “Then I need to prepare properly for the interview.”

Hard in theory, hard in every way; once she actually got started, it wasn’t so hard after all. Wei Xiaolu even lost track of when Shen Siyan had turned off the TV. After polishing her resume, she began studying technical skills, and by the time she finally looked up again, it was already deep into the night and she remembered that time existed in this world.

Looking up, she saw Shen Siyan sitting across from her, seriously reviewing annual reports from each team.

“Sister, you’re still busy? It’s already so late.” She wanted to be considerate; she wanted to be a gentle partner.

Shen Siyan lifted her eyes from the screen, and her expression eased the moment she saw her.

“Almost done. How’s your side going?”

“I have a little confidence,” Wei Xiaolu said, not daring to brag. She walked over and kneaded Shen Siyan’s shoulders. “Are you tired? I’ll go warm up some milk for you.”

“Mm, a little,” Shen Siyan said, the corners of her lips curling slightly. “But compared to milk...”

“What?” Wei Xiaolu, apparently hard of hearing, hadn’t caught the rest.

“An assistant service sounds a little more relieving,” Shen Siyan said.

Wei Xiaolu really wasn’t in the mood for back-and-forth teasing, and besides, she thought Shen Siyan was worldly enough to see that she was exhausted right now.

“Ah...” She drew in a breath, suppressed her impatience, and bent down to give Shen Siyan a perfunctory kiss on the lips. “I don’t know how to do the other thing. Sister, teach me. What should I do to help you sleep better?”

At that moment, Shen Siyan caught her wrist and pulled.

Wei Xiaolu toppled straight into Shen Siyan’s lap, momentarily dazed and flustered, unable to believe Shen Siyan was really that impatient.

“Let’s put it plainly,” Shen Siyan said, looking at her. “Then I’ll sleep better.”

“Say what plainly?” Wei Xiaolu asked, confused.

Shen Siyan didn’t answer right away. She brushed away the hair blocking Wei Xiaolu’s eyes so their gazes could meet without anything in the way.

Then Shen Siyan leaned forward and returned that quick, light kiss to her.

But Wei Xiaolu didn’t feel the same casualness she had felt a moment ago.

She knew Shen Siyan was never anything but sincere.

“Xiaolu,” Shen Siyan said, pulling back slightly. “You don’t need to do this.”

“...Do what?”

Shen Siyan smiled softly. “You don’t need to go out of your way to seem energetic, sensible, or to do things for me.”

“...” Wei Xiaolu’s nose stung. She rubbed at it with her hand and, after holding it in for a long time, finally forced out, “I was scared you might... not like me anymore.”

“How could that be?” Shen Siyan said immediately.

“It’s just that I—these past two days, I’ve been really bad,” Wei Xiaolu said, her language system already in chaos, the words coming out all wrong. She shook her head before continuing. “Not bad, just... really awful. Throwing tantrums, making a mess instead of solving problems, and only making things worse.”

“Not awful.” Shen Siyan lightly scratched the tip of her nose, almost like teasing a cat. “That’s all part of you. Compared to a permanently sunny facade, I’d rather see the real you.”

Shen Siyan paused.

Then she said, “The you in front of me is safe. The you who doesn’t need to pretend.”

Wei Xiaolu lowered her head and sniffled. “But... I’m still afraid you’ll hate that version of me.”

“I’m afraid you’ll hate me for interfering too much, too,” Shen Siyan said. “Why don’t we just hate each other, then?”

“I hate you.” Wei Xiaolu bumped her with her shoulder.

Shen Siyan smiled and said very gently, “I hate you too.”

Who talks about hating someone in that tone? Wei Xiaolu couldn’t help laughing, biting her lip so she wouldn’t make a sound.

But after biting it for a while, her thoughts suddenly tangled, and she blurted out, “I like you.”

So Shen Siyan held her and said, “I like you too.”