Chapter 18

Wei Xiaolu discovered that her heart was basically a sieve; even work could slip right through it.

...How ridiculous. She was still overthinking things while she worked.

Was this what people called a girl’s worries?

Tch. What a pain.

After all, she was still living in the same room as Shen Siyan. The deliberate distance they’d tried to keep simply wasn’t showing. Shen Siyan ordered her around with such ease, and whenever it came to work, she was all polish and eloquence.

Wei Xiaolu knew it was all sugarcoated bullets.

And yet, every time Shen Siyan finished speaking, she still couldn’t help drifting in a restless haze for a while.

Conveniently, T University had just started the new term these past two days, and after thinking it over, Wei Xiaolu came to ask Shen Siyan for leave. Her reason was to handle the start-of-term matters; she asked for three days.

Shen Siyan agreed at once. “Go ahead.”

“Do I need to submit it through OA, CEO Shen?” Wei Xiaolu asked.

“Interns don’t need to,” Shen Siyan said, leaning back in her chair with her hands loosely folded in front of her. In a warm, teasing voice, she added, “When you come back, remember to bring me some beef noodles.”

Wei Xiaolu answered brightly, “No problem! I’ll bring you back a proper local favorite.”

A polished smile appeared on Shen Siyan’s face.

Then she lifted her chin, signaling that Wei Xiaolu could leave.

With a three-day break in hand, Wei Xiaolu felt as if she’d been given a shot of energy. As soon as she left the company, she practically bounded toward campus like a monkey darting out of the mountains.

The university wasn’t far from the company. Tomorrow was the official first day of classes, and by now the gates were already less crowded, leaving her to weave left and right before she could squeeze onto campus.

There were no classes this semester. The college, taking into account everyone’s need to prepare for graduate school and civil service exams, had packed all the coursework into the first three years. On top of that, many classmates were interning at major companies in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen, so they couldn’t even gather a full headcount. In the end, they adopted a form of “free-range” management in name only.

So Wei Xiaolu had no real need to come back.

But after two months of being worn down by two separate jobs, she was suddenly desperate to shore up her identity as a student, as if afraid she might forget where she came from.

Walking through the campus, surrounded by people untouched by the grime of the outside world, she felt an inexplicable sense of steadiness; the whole-body comfort of being able to smile without pretending.

I’m back.

But the moment she pushed open the dorm room door and stepped inside, she immediately sensed a strange, sour atmosphere. Instantly, the joy in her chest fell like the sun dropping from dusk into night.

This dorm... Wei Xiaolu had once doubted for a long time whether there was something wrong with her, because she alone seemed different from everyone else. Later, after crying to Tang Xiaofen, Mrs. Tang offered a very fair assessment: You’ve walked straight into a nest of villains.

Two of the girls in the dorm were competing for a direct-entry graduate school spot, spending all day forming alliances and fighting in the shadows. Then there was the girl sleeping on the lower bunk below Wei Xiaolu, who was pure malice; everything she said about everyone was an attack. In her first year, she called Wei Xiaolu an old man. In her second year, after Wei Xiaolu went out with a male classmate from high school whom she’d stayed close with, she spread rumors every day that Wei Xiaolu was unchaste. In her third year, when Wei Xiaolu started looking for a job, she cursed her, saying any company she worked at would go bankrupt within a day. By now, Wei Xiaolu had developed the habit of letting it go in one ear and out the other.

Then there was another one, even harder to describe: she had no bottom line in anything she did, cheating and stealing were normal to her, and stirring up trouble or framing people came as easily as breathing.

The last girl had once gotten along quite well with Wei Xiaolu. But later Wei Xiaolu found out she’d been speaking ill of her behind her back all along, saying she was spoiled, and that she acted stupid and cute on purpose. Wei Xiaolu was furious and stopped hanging out with her after that.

With three years of experience behind her, Wei Xiaolu could tell at a glance that there had just been a huge argument here.

Carefully, she set down her bag. Scholarship Candidate No. 1 asked her kindly, “How’s the job search going?”

“I’m still interning,” Wei Xiaolu said. “I don’t have an offer yet.”

“Heh,” said the Criticism Girl, munching on spicy strips and not even looking up. “And somebody actually dares hire you as an intern? Is the manager blind?”

“...” Wei Xiaolu bit her lip and said nothing.

“Where are you interning?”

After hesitating for a moment, Wei Xiaolu named the company and department.

“Holy shit,” the Two-Faced Girl suddenly exploded. “How did you get in? Did you have connections at home? Why didn’t you tell us earlier? I thought all your jobs were really found on your own.”

“No, I don’t have any connections. I found it myself. My written test and interview scores were both pretty high,” Wei Xiaolu explained.

“What’s there to hide? These places are all nepotism pits; stop pretending,” Two-Faced Girl said, leaning in. “You’re getting paid as an intern, right? We’ve given you so many snacks all the time. Now that you’re making money, you should treat us to a meal.”

“She’s broke as hell,” Criticism Girl said. “If she treats us to dinner, she’ll go back and write a long rant about us.”

Let it go in one ear and out the other, let it go in one ear and out the other...

Wei Xiaolu ignored the mockery and, suppressing her anger, said she’d treat them some other day.

“What do you mean some other day?” the No-Bottom-Line Girl suddenly cut in. “Why not tonight? I’m starving.”

Wei Xiaolu scratched her head, then asked helplessly, “Fine. What do you guys want to eat?”

On the question of what to eat, Scholarship Candidate No. 1 and Scholarship Candidate No. 2 got into another loud argument. In the end, it was Two-Faced Comrade who came forward to mediate, and they settled on barbecue.

Wei Xiaolu originally thought a barbecue meal wouldn’t cost much, so she went along with a relieved heart.

But once they got to the restaurant, they ordered two whole pots of crayfish right away, and every other dish was meat too, like a bunch of nouveau riche who had never seen meat before in their lives. The skewers came out with absolutely no restraint either.

Wei Xiaolu tried to stop them several times, but each time they shut her down with the banner of, “You’re the only one in our dorm who went off to intern.”

In the end, those heartless people ordered all the way up to a thousand yuan.

Her wallet seemed to be hurting.

But that was okay. While eating, Wei Xiaolu didn’t feel the pain of losing money, so she ate very happily too.

Yet by the time the meal was over, that happiness had gradually turned into a sighing kind of “ha.”

Because Wei Xiaolu kept explaining that she really hadn’t used connections, they started declaring, Then when your internship ends, you’ll have to get lost. With your trash level, there’s no way you’ll get converted to full-time.

Maybe it was because the ordinary work she’d been doing at Chanhuan over the past month had spoiled her, but now when she heard those words, she no longer felt hurt or drained by them. Instead, she felt a wave of absurdity and stupidity.

She even curled the corners of her mouth faintly and smiled.

At herself for being stupid for three whole years, enduring their grievances and all their bizarre behavior in silence.

Enough. She was truly done.

Being with this ridiculous, pathetic group of people.

It meant nothing.

“You don’t have any connections anyway, so stop overestimating yourself.”

“Good jobs aren’t going to fall into your lap.”

“Really, working there is just wasting your time. You’d be better off finding a stable job that pays three thousand a month and scraping by.”

“Then what if I want to stay there?”

Wei Xiaolu bit off the garlic meat on her skewer in one bite and, imitating Shen Siyan’s usual unhurried manner, lightly tapped the stainless-steel skewer with her index finger.

“Then that just means you’re deliberately trying to die,” Criticism Girl said, as venomous as ever, trying to kill people with her mouth.

“Then thank you so much for caring whether I live or die,” Wei Xiaolu said, tossing the skewer onto the table with a clang. She let out a soft laugh. “I’m deeply grateful.”

Criticism Girl straightened abruptly. “What do you mean by that?”

If it were Shen Siyan’s quick-witted mouth, what would she say right now?

As Wei Xiaolu imagined it, she calmly pulled out a tissue and wiped her hands, not even lifting her eyelids. “I mean, thank you for helping me conduct an early stress test for the workplace in such a novel way.”

No one answered.

Only then did Wei Xiaolu finally raise her eyes and slowly sweep her gaze across their faces. Her lips curved into just the right amount of a polite smile. “To think I can sit here and eat without changing expression through even this kind of scene; it seems that if I run into any more difficult clients at work in the future, I’ll be able to handle them just fine.”

“Wei Xiaolu, you—”

Before the other side could finish, Wei Xiaolu stood up at once. “You guys keep eating. I’m not going back to the dorm later; I’m heading back to continue working.”

She checked the time on her phone. Nine-thirty at night.

She gave the phone a little shake, her smile innocent and composed. “Also, thanks for helping me make up my mind. I hadn’t really decided whether to stay before, but since a job can make you all this desperate to chase me off, it must really be a very good one.”

When something comes, don’t panic; the more confident you are, the more watertight you become.

That was the most useful trick Wei Xiaolu had secretly learned from Shen Siyan over the past month.

And right now, nobody at the table dared to argue with her anymore. Wei Xiaolu picked up her bag at an unhurried pace, ready to leave.

Just as she was about to step away, she suddenly remembered something and turned back to the dumbfounded faces of her roommates, blinking at them. “Oh, right. This one’s on you. Please pay the bill.”

After a pause, she smiled gently again. “Consider it repayment for everything you owed me over the past few years.”

After saying that, Wei Xiaolu no longer paid any attention to their dissatisfaction or their shouting. She left the barbecue restaurant without the slightest hesitation, graceful and unhurried.

So satisfying.

After making such a decisive clean break, the pleasure in her heart was beyond words.

There was only one word left: satisfying.

But why, why had a feeling of suddenly drifting apart risen inside her too...

After walking two steps along the night road, tears suddenly began streaming down her face without warning.

Wei Xiaolu didn’t know where she should go.

Should she go home?

She remembered she still had three days of leave.

Her footsteps turned small and uneven. In her dazed state, after having just acted so decisively, Wei Xiaolu suddenly became indecisive again.

But in truth, once that moment of hesitation appeared, she already knew where she really wanted to go.

Wei Xiaolu returned to the apartment building for employees.

By the time she climbed the stairs and entered the lock code, she had already held back all her emotions and resolved to present herself in good spirits.

She opened the door and stepped inside; the familiar, warm-yellow light fell across her face.

The sound of water in the bathroom suddenly stopped.

“You’re back, Xiaolu?” Shen Siyan asked.

“Mm, CEO Shen,” Wei Xiaolu replied. “I’m back to stay.”

Shen Siyan joked that it was definitely too late for beef noodles now, and Wei Xiaolu laughed softly before saying, “I’ll bring you some tomorrow.”

After that, Shen Siyan didn’t say anything else and started getting dressed.

Wei Xiaolu knew this because she was leaning against the wall opposite the bathroom, and through the two frosted panes in the door, she could see the figure inside pulling a nightdress over her body.

She even put on a quick-dry hair cap.

After finishing all that, the door opened, and the real Shen Siyan appeared before her, just as Wei Xiaolu had imagined: a well-proportioned, tall figure; a healthy, composed face.

Wei Xiaolu’s eyes trembled.

After glancing at her, Shen Siyan smiled faintly. “Isn’t it much better to live here than in the dorm?”

“A hundred times better,” Wei Xiaolu said at once.

Shen Siyan looked at her.

“No, a hundred million times better,” Wei Xiaolu paused, then shook her head as if fanning herself. “No, that’s not right either. They can’t even be compared.”

Shen Siyan was still looking at her. That quiet gaze was so much like an invitation.

An invitation for Wei Xiaolu to tell her story.

A little like crying, a little like her heartbeat was speeding up, Wei Xiaolu no longer wanted to care what exactly her superior meant by looking at her like that. She only wanted to say what she was truly feeling in this moment.

“Being with those people in the dorm is miserable. Being with you feels really comfortable.”

A drop of water slid down from Shen Siyan’s temple, along the side of her face, into her neck, and then lower, slipping into the hollow of her collarbone.

“Poor thing. You’ve been wronged.”

Wei Xiaolu instinctively waved her hands. “No, no...”

Shen Siyan suddenly bent down, leaning in close to her face. “Then why are your eyes so red, like a little rabbit?”

Her waving hands slowly dropped.

She didn’t explain, and she didn’t keep denying it. Instead, she stared back and asked, “Do I really look that much like one?”

“Since you look like one, let’s eat a carrot first,” Shen Siyan said, steadying her by the arm and gently tugging her along. “Come here.”

Wei Xiaolu followed Shen Siyan into the living room and saw her take a carton of plain milk from the refrigerator. She assumed that was the “carrot” for her, and when she was about to reach for it in gratitude, Shen Siyan stopped her.

“You sit. I’ll heat it up for you.” Shen Siyan lightly patted her on the head.

Wei Xiaolu felt as though the things in her head had been patted so hard they were all wobbling around. Two seconds passed before she remembered, “Right, I just started my period.”

“I know.” Shen Siyan poured the milk into an electric kettle and turned it on. Tilting her head slightly, she smiled. “Xiaolu, next time after you use the toilet, you can fold up the used pad before you throw it away.”

Boom.

Wei Xiaolu felt her whole face heat up.

“I, I just forgot by accident,” Wei Xiaolu said, twisting her waist and scratching her face, wanting to make dozens of little motions in a second, so busy she no longer knew what to do with herself. “Aiya, from now on I’ll fold every used pad into a little tofu block.”

“That’s not folding military blankets.” Shen Siyan laughed.

“I’m super good at folding military blankets too,” Wei Xiaolu said suddenly, giving herself a thumbs-up and lifting her chin. “During military training, I even won Best Model Student because of that!”

“Incredible.” Shen Siyan gave her a thumbs-up too.

While the milk was heating to a boil, Shen Siyan chatted with her a few more times, talking about this and that in no particular order, with no obvious connection between the topics; it was just idle conversation.

But when Shen Siyan finally brought the boiled milk over and placed it in front of her, while lightly rubbing the top of her head with one hand, the words “You’re not wronged anymore” fell softly into the room. All those earlier unrelated topics suddenly seemed to connect themselves into one enormous dreamcatcher, filtering out every nightmare at once.

Wei Xiaolu tilted her head back. Through the blur in her vision, she saw Shen Siyan’s smile, steady as a sedative.

Holding the scalding cup of milk, she felt her eyes and her heart both turning hot at the same time.

“Thank you, sister,” Wei Xiaolu said.

“For what? I still don’t know the situation,” Shen Siyan said, sitting down beside her. “Maybe you can tell me while you drink your milk?”

Wei Xiaolu shook her head and turned toward Shen Siyan. “Okay.”

Then she lifted the milk as though making a grand announcement. “The following statement is exclusively sponsored by CEO Shen’s energy milk special edition.”

Shen Siyan adjusted her nearly askew hair cap, laughing. “Advertisement over, Xiaolu. The broadcast can begin.”

TL Note:

sugarcoated bullets (糖衣炮弹) = sweet-sounding temptations or praise hiding manipulative intent

nepotism pits (萝卜坑) = job openings reserved for insiders or people with connections

military blankets (军被) = bedding folded into a neat square block during military training