Chapter 6: Exposing Her Little Secret

“It’s not that we don’t live together!”

Xue Erbai’s voice was bright, and this time she raised it a little higher, each word ringing with conviction.

Color returned to Ji Wushan’s slightly pale cheeks, but the panic in her eyes still hadn’t faded, and neither had the grievance she couldn’t quite hide.

Xue Erbai was anxious too. She was afraid that the warmth she had only just managed to catch after all this time would vanish in the next second.

And she didn’t even know how to explain, in detail, that those cold words from before had actually come from Ji Wushan herself.

“Since we live upstairs and downstairs, it’s very convenient.”

“I believe you need private space; I do too.”

“Twice a month; then once at my place, once at yours.”

“Put it into the agreement.”

The Ji Wushan who had said those words was nothing like the person in front of her now. She wouldn’t lay her grievances out so plainly before Xue Erbai.

Her words had been firm and beyond question; both of them were busy with work, and since it had been a contract marriage to begin with, Xue Erbai naturally had no objections.

More than that, when she bought this apartment, Xue Erbai had her own selfish motives hidden away.

Just like every Wednesday, she would set aside all her time to secretly watch “Paperlight Shimmer,” the program hosted by Ji Wushan, and she had also secretly bought a place very close to Ji Wushan’s workplace.

She had no way to tell the Ji Wushan before her memory loss about these things honestly.

And no standing to tell the Ji Wushan after the memory loss either.

This was time and choice that belonged only to her.

From the balcony at her home, she could see the XTV building.

More than once, Xue Erbai had wondered which of the people hurrying past was Ji Wushan.

But she had never gone to look.

So this apartment had been a gamble; the marriage had been a gamble.

And now, it was even more so.

Right now, all she could do was soften her voice and explain those words from back then in her own way: “It’s not a matter of whether we live together or not.”

Xue Erbai used her own words to explain what Ji Wushan had said back then.

And that was, in fact, the truth.

The way the two of them were getting along now was entirely because of Ji Wushan’s accidental memory loss; only then had Xue Erbai been able to ask Xue Yanhe to temporarily return to the company and help her, buying herself some time.

And with Ji Wushan having lost her memory, the TV station naturally wasn’t about to let her go straight back to filming.

She was given half a month of sick leave, and colleagues from the studio next door filled in to record “Paperlight Shimmer.”

Xue Erbai never missed an episode of that program; it was recorded every Wednesday and aired every Wednesday, and Ji Wushan was always busiest on those days, so for three months Ji Wushan never noticed.

Even now that the two of them were sharing the same room, she still didn’t worry at all.

She even wrapped an arm around Ji Wushan and guided her a little closer, staring at her moist, smoky eyes as she openly revealed the selfishness she had hidden for so long. “We’re both on leave right now, so of course we should live together.”

“The downstairs place is our home too, and I already had Qiao You come over to clean it up.”

“The things there…”

“Okay.”

“Let’s go downstairs.”

Xue Erbai, who had been about to say a few more things to persuade Ji Wushan, froze; a strange feeling flashed through her heart.

But very quickly, Ji Wushan hooked her hand; not at the wrist, but by placing her palm into Xue Erbai’s.

The touch was gentle; her tone was soft. “What are you standing there for?”

Xue Erbai held her hand steady, and the two of them walked into the elevator, into the most intimate space of all.

After opening the door, Xue Erbai set down their things and took a brand-new pair of slippers from the shoe cabinet for Ji Wushan. “Put these on.”

They were off-white, looking soft and warm.

Ji Wushan looked down; it was a color she knew, a color she liked.

A faint smile touched her lips. “Thank you, Xiaobai.”

Xue Erbai had been fine a moment ago, but those words made the tips of her ears burn. Feeling a little guilty, she explained, “The heat’s been turned off at home, so I had Qiao You prepare them.”

The reason she felt guilty was that she had casually taken out another pair in pale blue.

They were the same style as the pair Ji Wushan was wearing, only in a different color.

In truth, she had chosen them; Qiao You had placed the order and they’d been delivered to her home yesterday.

Not just slippers, but plenty of other things too.

For example, cups, bowls and chopsticks, bedsheets; everything that carried the feel of everyday life.

Counting it up, Ji Wushan had slept here five times.

Back when the agreement said twice a month, once at each place, Xue Erbai had only gone to Ji Wushan’s home the second time; after that, she hadn’t liked going anymore.

She couldn’t do what Ji Wushan did.

Leave directly afterward.

So the two of them would stay silent for a few minutes, until Ji Wushan softly reminded her that it was time for her to go back.

After that, Xue Erbai had kept finding excuses.

Fortunately, Ji Wushan wasn’t really bothered by where it all happened.

She had never looked at what was in Xue Erbai’s home either.

Before, Xue Erbai had been afraid Ji Wushan would see too much; now she was even more afraid Ji Wushan would see nothing at all.

Things were different now; the deck had been reshuffled.

She wanted to lure Ji Wushan inside, ideally to the point where she could never leave.

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The light in the living room was a warm orange, different from the style of Songfeng Court; it made the place feel even cozier.

Ji Wushan sat on the sofa, staring blankly at the soft, well-fitting slippers.

Fragments of blurry images kept flashing past.

Something similar seemed to have happened before.

She wasn’t thinking of the present, but of the past.

During the time when the two of them first met, she couldn’t quite remember who it was that brought her before Xue Erbai; maybe it was her mother, maybe her aunt.

She liked off-white, apricot, and other light colors, and back then she was still young, so the clothes she wore were all those shades.

Xue Erbai was very playful and had dirtied her shoes, then apologized with great guilt; after that, she got scolded by Xue Yanhe as well. Frowning, she reluctantly apologized again.

But then she said very clearly, “I’m not unhappy because I apologized. Next time we meet, I’ll give you new shoes.”

“I just hate my mom.”

“You like off-white, right?”

“Then next time we meet…”

The next time they met had been an accident.

When university started, she saw Xue Erbai at the entrance.

The girl had grown more into herself by then, bright and unrestrained.

But in truth, she didn’t know her well at all.

Whether it was the stubborn Xue Erbai with her little moods back then, the teenage Xue Erbai, or the Xue Erbai now holding a cup of water while taking a call and handling work, she didn’t know her well.

And yet Xue Erbai also gave her some confidence; she was the sort of person who would keep an agreement once she signed it.

So she didn’t want to expose it, just like the scent of lime still lingering around her right now, and the cup of warm water in her hand that Xue Erbai had handed her at the right time.

Not exposing it brought a faint, unobtrusive sense of safety.

All sorts of messy, jumbled experiences had made Ji Wushan very good at compromise.

Compared with digging everything up to the bottom, she was better at pretending not to understand.

A contract marriage; each keeping to their proper place.

Xue Erbai was the person in this world she was closest to, and the one who ought to be closest.

Keeping some space between them was exactly what she wanted.

Only when she was a little dazed and fragile did she choose to move closer to Xue Erbai.

Fortunately, Xue Erbai was still Xue Erbai.

Under the rules, she could indulge herself a little.

Ding-dong.

Her phone on the coffee table rang, pulling Ji Wushan’s drifting thoughts back.

The WeChat messages were all from someone named Mao Ying.

Ji Wushan remembered her.

When she was in the hospital, she had come with the program staff to visit.

On the day she was discharged, she had also sent a WeChat message saying she wanted to come pick her up.

But Xue Erbai had handled the discharge arrangements herself, so Ji Wushan could only politely refuse and talk about work-related matters.

At the time, Mao Ying had said she would send over some materials for the program in the next few days.

“Miss Ji, this is the topic for the next recording, along with the script for the variety show.”

The matter of her memory loss had been kept secret after discussion with Xue Erbai.

So the only people who knew about it for now, besides her and Xue Erbai, were Qiao You and Xue Yanhe.

Mao Ying only thought she still needed to recuperate.

“Okay; you did very well.”

Ji Wushan replied to Mao Ying in the same tone she always used. When she saw a cute sticker come back, she took a sip of warm water and locked her phone.

By then, Xue Erbai had finished tidying the guest room, taken a shower, and come out to the living room in a sleep dress.

It was still early; Xue Erbai had only showered because she’d been busy. When Ji Wushan saw her, she set down her cup, her gaze drifting away. “I’m going to shower too.”

Xue Erbai nodded as if nothing were the matter, then sat on the sofa with her laptop in hand.

The place where Ji Wushan’s warmth had just sunk in hadn’t even had time to spring back before it sank deeper again.

Xue Erbai crossed one leg over the other and started handling documents.

Only the occasional sound of her typing filled the living room; time passed quickly.

Until faint sounds reached her ears.

Xue Erbai looked up.

They shared one bathroom.

After Xue Erbai had showered, the room was still full of mist; Ji Wushan had been steamed until her cheeks were faintly red, and she was wiping the water from her hair.

“Done with work?”

“Want to watch the show?”

She asked twice in a soft voice. Xue Erbai had just finished her work and set the laptop aside; after a pause, she remembered to say, “Just a moment; a few more minutes.”

She still hadn’t given Tian Qiyue a final answer on the analysis report.

Although Qiao You was handling the follow-up work, and it wouldn’t matter if she didn’t respond for now, seeing Ji Wushan fresh from the bath made Xue Erbai feel thirsty for no reason; the composure she’d had these past few days slipped away quite a bit.

She lowered her head to deal with work, and Ji Wushan, not wanting to disturb her, went back into the bathroom to continue drying her hair.

When she returned, Xue Erbai had already placed the laptop near the edge of the coffee table and was sitting rather properly.

The sleep dress had been wrinkled slightly where she’d been holding it. As Ji Wushan sat down, her bare leg brushed by almost imperceptibly.

Gurgle.

The sound rang out far too clearly in the quiet living room.

Xue Erbai’s eyes wavered; she grabbed the remote at random.

For some reason, ever since she returned to this apartment, scenes she shouldn’t be thinking about kept filling her mind.

She just couldn’t treat Ji Wushan with complete calm.

“Do you like watching Paperlight Shimmer?”

Especially when that pleasant, cool voice of hers seemed magnified; Xue Erbai’s cheeks grew hot, and seeing Ji Wushan appear on the television made her heart stutter.

Now it was Wednesday, six in the evening, exactly the broadcast time for “Paperlight Shimmer.”

Ji Wushan, wearing a white shirt and an A-line skirt, appeared on screen just like that.

In the program, she often dressed like this; occasionally, she also wore glasses.

They could hide the softness flowing in her eyes, suppress the low, gentle firmness in her voice, and make her seem even cooler and more restrained.

Not like now.

The Ji Wushan sitting beside her would show confusion and dependence; she would even tentatively poke at Xue Erbai’s little secret.

“The moment you turn on the TV, it’s my show.”

“Or are you saying I’m in your home watching?”

Author’s Note:

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I’m here; I was late because of a family dinner!