Chapter 58
She had gotten Gu Yanqiu’s questioning message.
Lin Yuewei put on an exaggerated look of delight and repeated herself, “No sleepwalking? That’s great. Does that mean your mental state is much better now?” Her tone was outrageously overdone.
“……”
“It’s only been one day without sleepwalking. I’m not someone who sleepwalks every day to begin with.” Gu Yanqiu looked rather helpless. Only then did she notice their sleeping position; Lin Yuewei was now about the same distance away as she had been before Lin took her wrist, with enough space between them for another person to lie down comfortably.
The clock on the bedside table showed 6:58 in the morning.
Last night they had talked until nearly midnight, then showered and gone to bed, probably falling asleep around 12:30. They had slept more than six full hours. It was the most peaceful, longest sleep Gu Yanqiu had had since returning to the country; she hadn’t had a nightmare, and she hadn’t sleepwalked. She woke feeling refreshed, her whole body much more relaxed.
A smile touched the corner of Gu Yanqiu’s mouth. “Up?”
“Mm.” Lin Yuewei answered.
The two of them got up one after the other. Gu Yanqiu’s toiletries were in the room next door, so she went out and came back the same way, even thoughtfully pulling the door shut behind her. Lin Yuewei suddenly felt something odd; the two of them seemed like they had had a one-night stand, then parted ways after waking.
If she imagined it that way, it was actually a little exciting.
Gu Yanqiu hadn’t even paid her yet.
Lin Yuewei twirled and hopped, then bounded into the bathroom with her eyes wide open. She took a quick shower, washed up, changed into her day clothes, and left the room. She wandered around downstairs first but didn’t find Gu Yanqiu, so she went back upstairs and raised a hand to knock on Gu Yanqiu’s door.
She forced the corners of her mouth downward a little, making her smile look extremely socially appropriate.
No one answered the first knock.
Lin Yuewei pressed her ear to the door for a moment, her expression shifting. Then she knocked a second time; three light taps.
Footsteps came from inside. Lin Yuewei straightened, like a knight waiting for the princess’s inspection, lifting her chin slightly and putting on an unprecedented amount of flair.
The door opened in front of her. Just as Lin Yuewei opened her mouth, Gu Yanqiu made a shushing gesture. “Shh.”
Lin Yuewei mouthed, What’s wrong?
Gu Yanqiu lowered her voice. “I’m on a video call.”
Lin Yuewei pricked up her ears and listened, catching a faint meow. She nodded at Gu Yanqiu and said, “Go ahead. About how long will it take?”
“Just a little while.”
Gu Yanqiu smiled, then closed the door.
Lin Yuewei pouted outside the door.
Video chatting with someone first thing in the morning; and from the look of her clothes, she was still in the pajamas she’d woken up in, not even showered yet. They must have already been talking for ten or twenty minutes. Lin Yuewei drifted downstairs, clicking her tongue all the way; she felt like she was overflowing with Shanxi aged vinegar.
***
“Well, well. Who are you talking to?” said her friend, who was petting Schrödinger all the way over in the U.S. Schrödinger tried to run, but she grabbed him back and held him under her hand, where he kept meowing.
“No one, just my roommate.” Gu Yanqiu’s eyes curved.
“Roommate, huh? Smiling that sweetly—do you really think I’ll believe that?” Her friend blinked her big eyes.
Gu Yanqiu was a little shy and awkwardly changed the subject. “Do you actually have anything to say? It’s early in the morning; no, it’s the middle of the night. Why are you bothering me?”
“Nothing. I just missed you.”
“I’m hanging up then.”
“Wait, I do have something. When do you have time to come back for a bit? Jenny has fallen seriously ill. The doctor says she doesn’t have much time left. Can you make it back in time to see her one last time?”
Gu Yanqiu’s expression turned serious. “When did this happen?”
“Three months ago.” Her friend sighed. “She knew your family had a lot going on and that you were busy, so she kept insisting I not tell you. A few days ago she suddenly couldn’t hold on any longer; now she’s lying in the hospital bed. I thought you should see her.”
Jenny had been a good friend of theirs when they were studying abroad. She had an extraordinary gift, and after graduation she went to Wall Street, becoming one of the countless finance grunts there. They had all thought her bright future was just beginning, but who knew that heaven would play such a huge joke on her.
Her friend sent Gu Yanqiu a photo. Jenny looked gaunt, lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over her face; she was utterly unlike the girl who had once argued with a professor in class, all bright, fearless energy.
***
Lin Yuewei made a slight disguise, drove out to buy breakfast, and brought it back. Even though Gu Yanqiu had made her angry, she was a generous person; as someone who secretly liked her, she shouldn’t lose her temper.
She adjusted her mood on her own, humming as she arranged the breakfast on the table: fried rings, soy milk, fried dough sticks, stuffed pancakes, soup dumplings, congee, and more. Everything Gu Yanqiu might have wanted was there.
Lin Yuewei took a photo as a keepsake; their first calm, harmonious breakfast together after their relationship had improved significantly. It was very commemorative.
Footsteps sounded nearby. Gu Yanqiu came down the stairs in a hurry, one hand winding a strand of prayer beads around her wrist.
Delighted, Lin Yuewei called out, “Gu—”
Gu Yanqiu cut her off before she could finish. “Sorry, Yuewei. Something urgent came up; I need to leave for a few days. If anything happens, call me.”
Gu Yanqiu looked very anxious. It took her less than ten seconds to walk from the stair landing to the front door; she practically ran the whole way, changed her shoes, opened the door, and left in one smooth motion. In the blink of an eye, even her back was gone.
Lin Yuewei swallowed the rest of her words and looked at the breakfast on the table.
What was the point of preparing so much? The other person wouldn’t even look at it.
She felt a deep sense of frustration. She had never liked anyone before, and she didn’t know that liking someone could feel like this besides excitement; there was a heavy, blocked-up feeling in her chest, as if a huge stone were lodged there, making her not want to do anything at all.
Lin Yuewei ate two soup dumplings, then couldn’t eat another bite.
Her phone pinged.
She glanced at it, picked it up, unlocked it, and opened the message.
[Xi Gu: Sorry, something urgent came up suddenly. I can’t have breakfast with you]
Lin Yuewei thought, oh, so she did see it after all.
But what urgent matter was so important that she couldn’t even eat breakfast? Was it because of the person she had been video chatting with? Meow? Who exactly was it? She had never seen Gu Yanqiu look so completely at a loss.
Gu Yanqiu had said she was single, but she had never said she didn’t already have someone in her heart.
Lin Yuewei couldn’t help letting her thoughts run wild. Her reason also told her that this sort of speculation was completely unjustified. Once a person had formed a fixed line of thinking, any other thoughts were nothing more than a way to reinforce and deepen the original guess.
She forcibly pulled herself out of that spiral and replied calmly to Gu Yanqiu.
[Two Wood: Okay]
Gu Yanqiu was on an overseas call, asking in detail about Jenny’s condition. When the call ended, she leaned back in the chair, head tilted against the backrest, her mind in a mess, and closed her eyes.
Lin Yuewei put the rest of the breakfast away. By the time she left the house, there was still no reply from Gu Yanqiu.
Lin Yuewei went out too.
The company hadn’t arranged any assignments for her, and the promised assistant still had not been assigned. No car, no driver, nothing at all. In order to match her image as someone from an ordinary family, Lin Yuewei had bought herself a used Volkswagen.
Today Shao Yasi had an audition for Mirror within the Palm, but Lin Yuewei had learned about it too late. By the time she contacted the director and tried to recommend herself, it was already too late. Lin Yuewei, this ambitious giant in her infancy, was wandering around like a headless fly, not even knowing where to start. She drove her used Volkswagen to find Jiang Congbi.
Jiang Congbi had just finished getting ready and was heading out to work, looking gorgeous and walking with wind at her back, when Lin Yuewei’s phone call pinned her in place.
Jiang Congbi took the afternoon off. Lin Yuewei said she was neglecting her duties, and Jiang Congbi just laughed.
Half an hour later, the two of them were in a coffee shop.
The moment Jiang Congbi saw her, she put on a rather novel expression and flattered her, saying, “You really are different once you’ve debuted. Look at that superstar aura.”
She’d flattered the wrong horse, as the saying went. Lin Yuewei lifted her eyelids and almost wanted to kick out at her, but she held back and said coolly, “Cut it out.”
Jiang Congbi immediately got even more enthusiastic. “Look at that calm, detached demeanor. Look at you. You’re no longer the original Lin Yuewei; you’re now Empress Dowager Nühuluo Lin Yuewei.”
Lin Yuewei clicked her tongue softly and raised her coffee cup in a threatening gesture, as if she were about to splash it at her. Jiang Congbi knew when to stop and said, “Hahaha, I’m just kidding. Life would be so boring otherwise, don’t you think?”
Lin Yuewei took a sip of her black coffee, with no milk and no sugar. Jiang Congbi looked at it and felt bitter on her behalf.
Lin Yuewei didn’t say anything. Jiang Congbi was used to it; most of the time she was the only one performing a solo act. She propped her elbows on the table and teased, “I heard newly debuted artists are usually very busy. What wind blew you over here today? You actually deigned to favor me, a concubine neglected for years.”
“That’s too much,” Lin Yuewei judged. Then, in a light tone, she said, “It’s precisely because I’ll be busy later that I wanted to meet up with you while I’m not busy yet.”
“Aww, I’m so touched.” Jiang Congbi stared at her affectionately.
“……” Lin Yuewei stared out the window.
Jiang Congbi’s springtime dreams crashed to the ground. She reached out and turned Lin Yuewei’s face back, saying, “What are you doing? Don’t waste my expression.”
Lin Yuewei let out a long sigh, full of twists and turns.
This time Jiang Congbi really had figured it out. “Classmate Lin Yuewei, do you have something else you want to ask me?”
Lin Yuewei looked at her, wanting to speak but stopping herself.
With Jiang Congbi’s impatient temper, if you left her nothing to notice, that was fine; but once she caught on and couldn’t dig out the answer, she’d be unable to sleep all night from scratching at her own heart. “What exactly is going on? If it’s you, what can’t I be trusted with?”
“……”
Jiang Congbi: “Work?”
“……”
“Love?”
Lin Yuewei sighed again.
Actually, both were bothering her, but the second one was more obvious.
“What did Gu Yanqiu do to you? Or what did you do to her?” Jiang Congbi hit the nail on the head.
Lin Yuewei’s eyes widened.
Jiang Congbi gave her a sidelong look. “Who do you think I am? Don’t tell me you’re still tangled up over whether you like her or not. I already analyzed it for you; you just didn’t believe me.”
“No.”
“Then what is it?”
“Why do people have to like other people?”
“…………”
Lin Yuewei asked in confusion, “If there were no such emotion as liking, there wouldn’t be so many troubles. Since liking someone is such a useless thing, why do people need to have that kind of feeling?”
“…………”
Lin Yuewei lowered her head and stirred the coffee in her cup with a small spoon. “How do you go from liking someone to not liking them anymore?”
She muttered to herself for a while, then looked up at Jiang Congbi. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
Jiang Congbi shrugged. “What do you want me to say?”
“Mm.”
“To agree with you that liking someone is useless, and then provide you with a method for going from liking to not liking?” Jiang Congbi leaned back. “Honestly, I don’t have one. But I think the way you look right now means you’re completely done for.”
Lin Yuewei: “……”
Jiang Congbi tapped the tabletop with her fingers. “Cautious, hesitant, not at all like the you from before; you specifically dragged me out here for this little scrap of nonsense.”
Lin Yuewei raised a brow. “Little scrap of nonsense?”
“Isn’t it? I thought you were going to discuss the grand cause of taking someone down, and who knew you were still in the stage of learning to walk? It doesn’t stir the slightest bit of passion in me.”
“Don’t be so evil.”
“Human nature.” Jiang Congbi propped her chin on her hand and started dozing off; she genuinely did not want to listen to her useless rambling.
“Don’t you think I’m trapped in emotional turmoil right now and need some help sorting it out?”
“Don’t think so.”
“What if I get stuck in a dead end?” Lin Yuewei was determined to turn this little problem into a big one, to elevate it to the level of ideology; but after Jiang Congbi’s sarcasm, she also began to quietly suspect whether she really was being willfully fussy without realizing it.
“Go ahead and get stuck. One phone call, one look, and she’ll have you arranged just right.” Jiang Congbi answered lazily, looking like she was about to fall asleep.
Jiang Congbi considered herself a person who had seen her share of storms and waves; of course, those were waves she’d seen in other people’s lives. She had dated a few men here and there herself; there had been feelings, but they always lacked a certain spark and never lasted long. The first experience of love was sweet first and bitter later; if it was unrequited love, then it was bitter first and sweet later, with sweet and bitter mixed together, every day feeling like the road wound through eighteen bends in the mountains. No matter how much hardship one endured, even if one felt like giving up, all it took was a candy casually handed over by the other person, and the whole thing would collapse like a fallen army.
Right now Lin Yuewei was just talking tough, saying she didn’t want to like Gu Yanqiu anymore. By the time Gu Yanqiu appeared in front of her, her heart would be more honest than her mouth.
Jiang Congbi had no intention of doing pointless emotional counseling.
Lin Yuewei counted and said, “She’s already gone two hours without replying to me.”
Jiang Congbi dug at her ear with her pinky. “How long? Say that again?”
Lin Yuewei blushed and felt too embarrassed to say it again.
The two of them faced each other over coffee and dessert; Lin Yuewei was still frustrated, and Jiang Congbi could see it clearly, but she didn’t spell things out for her. Lin Yuewei was an adult now; she needed to learn how to handle her own feelings.
When they were about to part, Lin Yuewei brought up something and asked Jiang Congbi to help her with it. Jiang Congbi agreed immediately, but a trace of confusion flashed through her eyes. “Don’t you have a management company? Surely their professionals are better at this than I am?”
Lin Yuewei said, “My agent is a little rigid...”
Jiang Congbi made an “oh” sound, still somewhat muddled.
Lin Yuewei said, “Just tell them on that side. They’ll handle the rest. Write down how much money you spend on it and I’ll pay you back later.”
“I told you no need.”
“It needs to be repaid. Since the start of the program, you’ve already spent a lot of money on me. Even if your family is rich, money doesn’t fall from the sky; not counting interest, I’m already being very generous.”
“Fine, fine.” Jiang Congbi agreed out loud, though she had no intention at all of keeping records.
Lin Yuewei saw through her and said, “I want to see the invoices. Have them issue you an invoice; this is a proper internet company, right?”
“……” Jiang Congbi was truly afraid of her.
Lin Yuewei had already talked about both business and personal matters with her. In the afternoon, she curled up on the sofa in her living room and sent messages one by one to her mentors and teachers she remembered as having left a good impression, tactfully asking whether there might be any opportunities. Most of her mentors replied; some apologized, some gave evasive answers, and one mentor sent her a long wall of text, using the perspective of someone who’d been through it to advise her not to be impatient and going on and on about life principles and the like. Aside from Bai Hua, who had signed her, Bai Hua had not had much interaction with her during the recording of the program, but the admiration in her eyes had been obvious. Now Lin Yuewei still didn’t understand why she had clearly been on the road to a smooth path, only to suddenly run into such a change.
She couldn’t get close to Bai Hua. Even if she did meet her, she might not have the courage to question her, after all Bai Hua had never promised her anything.
Teacher Wu from the acting department had given her practical advice: go to as many auditions as possible, and also wander around the film and TV production bases; opportunities would eventually come. But beyond that, there was nothing else.
Lin Yuewei microwaved the breakfast she had bought in the morning. With her computer on the dining table, she ate while organizing the contact information for every director, producer, senior, and so on that she could find, intending to cast a wide net; even if she could catch a small fish, that would be good.
When she worked, she was very focused; only occasionally did she remember that Gu Yanqiu still hadn’t replied to her.
Lin Yuewei was brimming with energy and felt like she could work through forty-eight hours straight. Her schedule gradually began to fill with the auditions she could find. Even after enjoying the dividends that came with traffic and popularity, she could still keep her mindset very, very low. That was one of her strengths.
At eight in the evening, Lin Yuewei received a call from Shao Yasi.
Over the phone, Shao Yasi said excitedly, “Weiwei, I passed the audition!”
Shao Yasi had suddenly changed how she addressed her, perhaps because she felt that the relationship between them had grown closer after last night. Lin Yuewei paused her typing and sincerely congratulated her, saying, “Congratulations.”
“The director really likes me. My agent said we’ll be signing the contract very soon.”
“Nice,” said Lin Yuewei, applauding her.
“My agent said I can’t tell anyone, because they’re worried someone will cut in and steal the role, but I secretly told you.”
At that, Lin Yuewei said helplessly, “I’ve told you how many times already: don’t tell me either.”
Shao Yasi laughed. “Nope, I’m telling you anyway. It’s my first time getting a role; I’m happy, and besides you, I don’t know who else to tell.”
“You can hold it in for a while.”
“I can’t; I’ll hold myself to death.”
“What if the news leaks out? Won’t you suspect me then?” Lin Yuewei felt she had already warned her clearly enough. They were competitors, after all; friends were friends and work was work, and the line between them had to be clear. Being too close wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
“I won’t. I trust you. If it leaks, it’ll definitely be from someone else. It has nothing to do with you.”
“You...” No matter how Lin Yuewei tried, she couldn’t persuade her and had no choice but to let it go.
At this point, Lin Yuewei still didn’t know that the vague worry in her heart would one day become reality, and far more seriously than she had imagined.
Shao Yasi said, “The director is called Liu XX. He’s forty-two this year, has a son in elementary school, and has a gentle personality. He doesn’t get angry much, but...”
Shao Yasi’s abrupt, textbook-like tone made Lin Yuewei freeze. It was only later that she realized Shao Yasi was reciting Director Liu’s background information to her. Shao Yasi even gave her Liu XX’s phone number and said, “I don’t know which details are useful. My agent told me all of this the day before my audition; yesterday afternoon she dragged me to talk for a long time. I thought seeing is believing, so only after I met Director Liu today did I tell you. Don’t blame me for not telling you earlier.”
“How could I? I’m grateful to you already.” Lin Yuewei laughed.
“That’s fine then,” Shao Yasi said. “I feel like this crew still seems to be short-handed. I recommended you to the director; what do you think?”
“No.”
“Why?” Shao Yasi was taken aback. Shouldn’t Lin Yuewei be in desperate need of an opportunity?
“You haven’t even stood firmly on your own feet yet. Don’t worry about my business. I can handle it myself.”
“I think the director seems pretty...”
Lin Yuewei interrupted her with a pained expression. “Can’t you have a little more sense, seagull?” A newcomer like herself already had her ambitions high as the sky; she was still thinking of carrying Lin Yuewei upward. Don’t break your own wings with mine attached. Lin Yuewei then said sternly, “You are not allowed to recommend me to the director.”
“Oh.” Shao Yasi’s voice sounded a little wronged.
“Once you’re popular, I’ll hug your thigh; then you can take me wherever you want, okay?”
“...Okay.” She still didn’t sound very happy.
“I’ll treat you to a meal next time.”
“Okay!” Shao Yasi was completely happy again.
“But it can’t be too expensive. I don’t have money.”
“Hahaha, it’s fine, I have money. My treat.”
After dealing with Shao Yasi, Lin Yuewei looked at the icons on the home screen and unconsciously tapped into that familiar green app icon. There was no message from Gu Yanqiu. She returned to the home screen, then, as if possessed, opened her contacts and scrolled down to the call log with Gu Yanqiu.
Her finger hovered two or three centimeters above the screen over that entry when her phone suddenly vibrated with a buzzing sound, and the flashing caller ID was none other than Gu Yanqiu.
Lin Yuewei thought she had somehow dialed out by accident and reflexively hit decline.
Lin Yuewei: “……”
Just as she was about to call back, Gu Yanqiu called again.
“Why did you hang up on me?” Her tone was aggrieved.
“By accident. I didn’t mean to.” Lin Yuewei’s heart melted into a puddle. Her hand rested on her leg as she nervously picked at the fabric of her pants.
Jiang Congbi really had been right; Gu Yanqiu could arrange her with one phone call, and her whole heart rose right along with it.
A lighter clicking on and off sounded from the other end of the line; click, click, the sound was crisp and clear.
Lin Yuewei heard how quiet it was over there, with a faint sound of wind in the background, and asked softly, “You... what’s wrong?” Then she asked again, “Where are you?”
“I’m...” Gu Yanqiu looked up at the dark blue sky. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves overhead. She let out a soft sigh and said, “I’m walking on the street.”
She had just seen Jenny off one last time together with Jenny’s family and friends. Fortunately, she had made it in time to see her for the final time. The lighter had been Jenny’s gift to her; she didn’t call it a keepsake from the dead, only a gift.
Gu Yanqiu couldn’t quite tell what she felt. This was the second time in her life she had faced the death of someone close to her directly; the first time had been her mother, when she hadn’t even been able to see her one last time. This second time was Jenny, whom she watched peacefully depart with her own eyes. She discovered that she seemed to be a little different from other people; perhaps she had lost the ability to grieve, or perhaps she could only feel a very shallow layer of it.
Until the moment she heard Lin Yuewei’s voice.
The lighter was opened and closed again. Gu Yanqiu lowered her eyes to look at it, and her eyes slowly grew wet.
She sat down on a bench by the roadside. In her blurred vision, the outline of the lighter remained visible; memories with her friend flashed through her mind one after another, each frame crystal clear, and there would never be any more of them in the future.
Lin Yuewei heard the sobbing on the other end and was so frightened that she stood up at once. “What’s wrong? Which street are you on? I’ll come find you.”
“I’m fine.” Gu Yanqiu choked out.
Lin Yuewei thought, Heaven above, and this still counts as fine? Please spare me.
“Gu Yanqiu, tell me where you are right now. I’ll give you three seconds. One, two..."
“……”
“Two point five, two point six...” Lin Yuewei was angry, but there was nothing else she could do. She counted all the way up to 2.99999...
Gu Yanqiu finally spoke.
Very softly, with a heavy nasal sound, she asked, “Can you comfort me?”
Author’s note:
Today our Gu cutie is a little crying baby ╰(*°▽°*)╯
Gu top shippers, don’t be disappointed; the one who laughs last is the real winner. Gu top, charge!