Chapter 52

Gu Yanqiu was a very taciturn person. Lin Yuewei had sensed that from the very beginning, and now the feeling was even stronger; their ways of thinking were probably very different too.

Come stay at my place tonight.

A sentence like that, dropped with no preamble or explanation, left Lin Yuewei standing there in a daze. Did that have anything to do with their conversation just now?

“Can I ask why, Miss Gu?” Lin Yuewei did her best to keep her tone steady, so she wouldn’t misread Gu Yanqiu again.

The reason...

Gu Yanqiu thought: She’s still upset about what happened last night. Why does she even need to ask me why? She must still be angry. People only get more upset if you keep bringing up the thing that made them angry.

“Aren’t you going to your new company tomorrow? I wanted to see you off; think of it as thanks for calling the doctor for me today.”

Why was she suddenly seeing her off for no reason?

“There’s no need for a send-off. It’s not like I’m going very far; I’m still local.”

“But if you’re going to be an actress, you’ll probably have to fly out a lot. After today, who knows when we’ll see each other again.”

“...” Lin Yuewei rubbed the goose bumps on her arm. “Like Duke Jing Ke leaving Yan? The wind is cold, the water is cold?”

Gu Yanqiu: “...”

“Really, there’s no need to be so polite. There’ll be plenty of chances to treat me to a meal.” Lin Yuewei’s mother was still dissatisfied with her entering the entertainment industry; the biggest reason was that it meant seeing each other less often. On this last day, if she didn’t even eat dinner at home, her mother would do more than nag—she might even cry.

Gu Yanqiu took the hint and changed her invitation. “Then can you come over tonight after you’ve eaten?”

Lin Yuewei: “!!”

Lin Yuewei asked for confirmation, “You mean supper?”

“If you want to eat, that works too.”

A chill ran up from Lin Yuewei’s feet, and she felt a little eerie. After thinking it over, she still politely refused. “I’d rather stay home with my mom. She’s definitely got another basketful of things she wants to say tonight.”

Gu Yanqiu paced back and forth in the living room a few times, but in the end she didn’t press the matter. “All right. Be sure to tell me when you’re free.”

“I will. Thank you.”

Lin Yuewei stared at the screen for nearly two minutes after the call ended, then opened the guest room door and sat back down on the sofa.

Her mother held a magnifying glass up to the Buddhist prayer beads in her hand, occasionally glancing up at her and asking, “Who were you calling? So mysterious.”

“Someone from the company.”

Her mother didn’t doubt her and launched into her usual lecture: what to watch out for at the new company, that this was her first job, and although it was different from an ordinary job, humility came first; she mustn’t get arrogant and think she was all that.

Lin Yuewei wore an attentive, obedient expression and occasionally agreed with her.

“Mom, what are you looking at?”

“The scriptures on them.”

“Can you read them?”

Scriptures were different from everyday language. Someone like Lin Yuewei, who knew nothing about them, could only make out the simplest meaning; the rest was as inscrutable as heavenly text. Lin’s mother finished reading the line she was studying in a measured voice and said, “If you read them enough, you’ll naturally understand. No need to rush.”

“Oh.” Lin Yuewei found her mother’s manner rather novel.

After looking for a long time, Lin’s mother’s eyes ached. She looped the prayer beads around her wrist, holding the rest in her palm, and said, “The Gu family’s daughter said the scriptures on this bracelet were engraved by a high monk and blessed. I don’t know if it’s just in my head, but lately I really do feel like my mind has broadened. Things I used to cling to, I’ve mostly let go of too.”

Lin Yuewei hadn’t paid attention to the second half of her mother’s words; all her attention had gone to the first half. One brow lifted slightly. “You said who engraved these?”

“A high monk. Gu Yanqiu said I looked gloomy, so she gave me these prayer beads to form a good connection, to bring me peace and happiness.” Speaking of this, Lin’s mother couldn’t help admiring Gu Yanqiu’s thoughtfulness. During the period when Lin Yuewei was in the competition and Lin’s father was frequently away on business, Lin’s mother’s mood had been at its most unstable. Gu Yanqiu had happened to meet her then and given her such a precious string of beads.

At first, Lin’s mother hadn’t wanted to accept them. She didn’t understand this sort of thing, but she knew the late Mrs. Gu had believed in Buddhism, and as her daughter, Gu Yanqiu always carried prayer beads with her; something she had brought out herself certainly wouldn’t be ordinary. Later, after Gu Yanqiu persuaded her to accept them, she wore them every day and never took them off; she really did feel they were effective.

Just after she finished speaking, she noticed a subtle change in Lin Yuewei’s expression. It seemed as if she were smiling. The listless gloom from earlier had vanished without a trace, and she leaned back against the sofa, looking at her with a smile.

“Then wear them well,” Lin Yuewei said. Her own string was carved by Gu Yanqiu herself, every bead carrying who knew how much thought; her mother’s was carved by a high monk. The difference between them was as vast as sun and moon.

“I am wearing them.” Lin’s mother thought she was acting strangely, but Lin Yuewei had been strange for more than a day or two. Lin’s mother didn’t bother with her and said, “I’m planning to go to the temple and invite a Buddha statue home. What do you think?”

Lin Yuewei’s mother had come up with this idea after feeling something from the scriptures a while ago, and with Lin Yuewei here today, she wanted to discuss it.

“If you want to invite one, then do it. Didn’t you say Gu Yanqiu’s mother had a Buddhist shrine at home when she was alive? You can set one up too. We’ve got plenty of rooms anyway; just make sure you think it through. Don’t do it on a whim, or it’ll be disrespectful to the Buddha.”

“Of course I’ve thought it through. I definitely won’t lose interest after three minutes.”

“And things like fasting and all that—I don’t know if it’s troublesome. Is there such a thing in Buddhism? Do you need to follow all the rules?”

“I’ll look into that again. I don’t know everything yet.” Strictly speaking, Gu Yanqiu wasn’t a devout Buddhist. She had grown up under her mother’s influence, gradually cultivating herself in that way, and only then became the Gu Yanqiu she was now. Lin’s mother, by contrast, clearly wanted to move closer to the ranks of true believers.

“Oh right, did you ask your father? What did he say?” Lin Yuewei asked casually while lowering her head to tap at her phone screen.

“...”

When Lin Yuewei still hadn’t heard an answer, she looked up. “Mom?”

Lin’s mother seemed to have been lost in thought. She startled slightly, then said, “Not yet. I wanted to tell you first.”

Lin Yuewei lowered her head and kept tapping at her phone. Suddenly, she looked up and said, “That’s not right.”

“What’s not right?” A flicker of panic flashed through Lin’s mother’s eyes, but she quickly steadied herself.

“Didn’t you used to discuss things with Dad? You didn’t even need to go through me; even if you wanted my opinion, it would be at the very end. Since when am I so important in this family?” Lin Yuewei asked in surprise.

“Your dad has to work, doesn’t he?”

“Doesn’t he come home at night? And there’s always the phone. What can’t you talk about?”

Lin’s mother hesitated and hemmed and hawed.

Lin Yuewei suddenly leaned closer, looking her straight in the eye. “Did you fight with Dad?”

“No.” Lin’s mother pushed her forehead back with one finger, putting on a mother’s authority. “What nonsense are you spouting? I think you’re about to start working and your brain’s gone fuzzy.”

“Am I the one who’s fuzzy, or are you hiding something from me?” Lin Yuewei’s gaze fell to her wrist. “Where’s the watch Dad gave you? Why have I never seen you wear it?”

“I’m wearing this bracelet, aren’t I? How many hands do you think I have to wear a watch on?”

Lin Yuewei narrowed her eyes.

That was exactly what made it suspicious. Once Lin Yuewei’s thoughts went in that direction, layers of doubt gradually surfaced.

Gu Yanqiu had seen her looking gloomy and given her a string of prayer beads blessed by a high monk; why was her mother gloomy? So gloomy that Gu Yanqiu had to give her such expensive prayer beads. Why, when something happened, did she not discuss it with Dad as she used to, but instead discuss it with her? Hadn’t she always treated her like a child? Her attitude toward Gu Yanqiu was too strange too; the enthusiasm was almost on par with her own biological daughter’s. She had even forcefully tried to set the two of them up despite Lin Yuewei’s resistance before—though things were different now.

And that late Mrs. Gu, who had only ever been mentioned by her mother; was she really just a friend of her mother’s? Why had everything slowly become strange ever since she died?

For the first time in all these years, Lin Yuewei felt an unprecedented curiosity toward that late Mrs. Gu.

Maybe she could get some clues from Gu Yanqiu?

Lin Yuewei stared at her mother without moving. Even though she was her own daughter, Lin’s mother couldn’t help feeling a dangerous sense of being eyed as prey. Lin Yuewei’s gaze seemed to reach everywhere, leaving the secret she had struggled to hide with nowhere to go.

“Mom.” Lin Yuewei pressed a hand to her shoulder and said meaningfully, “The past is past. What matters is living the life in front of us well. You...”

She didn’t continue after that, only looked at Lin’s mother deeply.

If her mother really had something going on with the late Mrs. Gu, as a daughter, Lin Yuewei had no right to interrogate her. But she did have a duty to tell her mother to pull back from the edge. The dead are gone; there’s no point dwelling on the past. If she kept this up, it would only make the living worry, and it would also be unfair to her father, who was so wholeheartedly devoted to her.

But Lin’s mother looked as if she’d suffered a huge blow, staring at her in disbelief.

Lin Yuewei felt sorry for her mother in the face of that expression. She opened her arms and hugged her gently. “What do you want to eat tonight? I’ll have Auntie make it.”

“I’ll make it myself. It’s the last meal.”

“What are you saying, Mom? Can’t you wish something good for me for once?”

“You’re the one who angered me.”

“When did I ever anger you?”

Lin’s mother huffed and ignored her, heading for the kitchen. Lin Yuewei was left in a fog, with a faint feeling that something was off somewhere.

Lin’s mother went to rinse the rice and cook a pot of it, then returned to the living room and started making a phone call on her own. Ever since earlier, Lin Yuewei had been restless; now that she saw her mother on the phone, her heart gave a small thump.

Lin’s mother said warmly into the phone, “Yanqiu, are you free tonight?”

Lin Yuewei: “...”

As expected.

Just after Gu Yanqiu had been turned down by Lin Yuewei’s invitation to have dinner together, Lin’s mother had sent an invitation of her own, asking her to come eat at the Lin home.

“Yuewei is going to start work tomorrow, so I was thinking our family could see her off together, so she won’t miss us when she’s away from home.” Lin’s mother had quite a way with words.

Lin Yuewei: “...”

No, when did Gu Yanqiu become part of “our family”?

Gu Yanqiu hesitated. “Auntie, in a situation like this, it might not be very appropriate for me to show up?”

Lin’s mother: “Why wouldn’t it be appropriate? I think it’s perfectly fine. It just so happens I haven’t seen you for several days; I’ve missed you.”

Gu Yanqiu gave a wry smile. “Really, I can’t come, Auntie. Yuewei would get angry. Besides, you said this is her last day at home; letting her be happy is more important than anything.”

No matter what Lin’s mother said, Gu Yanqiu still refused. In the end, Lin’s mother turned her glare on Lin Yuewei. “I’ll ask her for you.”

Lin Yuewei kept her eyes lowered, not wanting to admit that deep down, she was actually hoping Lin’s mother would manage to invite Gu Yanqiu over. Unexpectedly, the final decision still landed in her lap.

“This...”

Lin’s mother stuffed the phone into her hand, wearing a fierce expression that seemed to say, If you dare refuse, just wait and see.

Lin Yuewei pretended to be cowed by her mother’s authority and said weakly into the receiver, “Since my mom’s invited you so sincerely, just come over.”

Gu Yanqiu took that tone as reluctance and became even more certain she shouldn’t go. If she did, it would definitely lower Lin Yuewei’s favorability; survival instinct drove her to refuse firmly. “I really can’t go.”

Lin Yuewei couldn’t keep up the act anymore. She straightened her back and said forcefully, “I’m officially inviting you now. Are you coming or not? Give me a straight answer.”

Gu Yanqiu: “???”

Gu Yanqiu said something, and Lin Yuewei handed the phone back over, smiling as if she had done a great service and asked for no credit. “She agreed.”

Lin’s mother gave her a sideways look. “She agreed, so she agreed. Look at how pleased you are.”

“Am I pleased?” Lin Yuewei touched the corners of her mouth, which had tilted upward.

“You are.” Lin’s mother confirmed it.

Lin Yuewei gave a light humph of a laugh, neither confirming nor denying it, and went upstairs with light steps, phone in hand. Pleased was pleased, then; she’d get to see Gu Yanqiu again tonight, and if she could get her to stay over while she was at it, that would be even better.

Lin’s mother stared at her daughter’s departing back. Strange; why did she look like... a girl in the bloom of first love whenever Gu Yanqiu was mentioned now? Lin’s mother could hardly believe she’d ever use that phrase on Lin Yuewei one day.

Gu Yanqiu had been hooked by a single sentence from Lin Yuewei.

Her clothes had already been changed earlier when Lin Yuewei said she was taking her to see a doctor; she sat in the downstairs living room until five o’clock before setting out, so she wouldn’t seem too eager.

“So Yanqiu’s here.” Lin’s mother’s voice was extremely gentle, carrying a warm smile and the long-lost scent of everyday home life. Even without Lin Yuewei, Gu Yanqiu would still have been willing to come to the Lin household.

When Gu Yanqiu arrived, Lin’s mother was carrying ingredients into the open kitchen, looking like she was about to cook. Gu Yanqiu quickened her steps and took the ingredients from her hands, smiling apologetically. “I seem to have come a little early.”

“Not early, not early. I was only thinking you were late. Are you busy with work even on Sunday?”

Gu Yanqiu couldn’t very well say she’d just been waiting around at home, so she defaulted to a nod.

“Even when you’re working, remember to rest properly. Don’t rely on being young and treat your body carelessly.”

“I exercise regularly, I get enough rest, and my health is fine.”

“I’m not talking about you. Of course I’m reassured about you; I’m talking about Yuewei.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

Lin’s mother glanced outside the door; no one was there. She lowered her voice and confided, “She’s starting a new job now, and I hear this line of work throws your days and nights completely off. You know how children these days don’t like listening to their elders nag. She’s already better than most; she can occasionally hear a few words, but even when she does, it goes in one ear and out the other. I’m worried. Aren’t you about the same age as her? What if she listens to you? You don’t have to say it every day; just whenever you think of it, send her a message reminding her to eat properly, take care of herself, and not stay up too late. That’s enough.”

Lin’s mother said this with the same care all parents had, worrying about their child while not knowing how to avoid provoking their dislike.

A poor heart is every parent’s heart.

Gu Yanqiu agreed. “I understand.”

Lin’s mother patted the back of her hand. “Thank you.”

“You’re being too polite, Auntie.”

Lin’s mother smiled. “If we keep being this polite, I’m afraid we won’t even get dinner made. I’ll cook; you go rest outside. Yuewei is upstairs, in her room.” She deliberately stressed the last part.

Flustered by her emphasis, Gu Yanqiu felt even less able to go upstairs. She took two steps forward and stood at the sink, back to her, saying, “I’ll help you wash the vegetables.”

“You really aren’t going upstairs to see her?” Lin’s mother teased.

Gu Yanqiu shook her head firmly.

Lin’s mother burst out laughing. “Maybe in a bit she’ll come down to see you.”

Gu Yanqiu didn’t answer. If she kept going, who knew what else Lin’s mother might say.

One cut meat, one washed vegetables; their shoulders were separated by a full meter. Lin’s mother asked casually, “How are things at your company? I’m not asking about trade secrets—I’m asking whether your own work is tiring.”

“It’s fine, not tiring.”

“I wonder whether you know much about our Lin family’s company?” Lin’s mother’s knife work was practiced, and her gaze didn’t turn toward Gu Yanqiu; talking about this was no different from asking about the weather today.

But Gu Yanqiu couldn’t help thinking more deeply and answered cautiously, “A little, but not much.”

“If I asked you to manage Lin Shi, would you be able to handle it?”

“Auntie Ran.” Gu Yanqiu raised her voice, signaling that this question shouldn’t be discussed any further.

But Ran Qingqing showed no sign of joking. Lowering her eyes to the meat on the chopping board, she said, “You know that Yuewei has no interest in this. You’re her legal wife; in the future, the Lin company will very likely have to be handed to you.”

“President Lin is still in his prime. It’s too early to talk about this.” Besides, she and Lin Yuewei hadn’t even written the first stroke on the page yet; Lin’s mother was acting as anxiously as though trying to make a child who hadn’t learned to walk start running.

“Not early.” Gu Yanqiu tried to avoid the subject, but Ran Qingqing stopped moving her knife, looked over with bright eyes, and said in a voice that brooked no argument, “I’m only asking you this: if that day really comes, you—”

“Auntie, Yuewei’s coming down.” Gu Yanqiu turned her head and sharply spotted Lin Yuewei coming down the stairs, quickly warning her.

The light in Lin’s mother’s eyes vanished in an instant, and she went back to cutting the meat at a slow, measured pace. If not for the few freshly washed greens in the draining basket beside her, Gu Yanqiu would have thought the scene she’d just seen was an illusion.

As soon as Gu Yanqiu arrived, Lin Yuewei spotted her through her bedroom window and had expected she’d come up soon. Who knew she would wait in her room left and right and never see a single shadow? After sitting for a while, she couldn’t sit still anymore and came down on her own.

“Is it ready yet?” Lin Yuewei opened the kitchen door from outside, pretending to sweep her gaze around while actually flicking it across Gu Yanqiu’s face, then finally landing on the stove.

“Not yet. All you know is eat; you don’t even know to come down and greet a guest.”

“I’m down here now, aren’t I? Guest, come out.”

Gu Yanqiu glanced at the sink, looking hesitant. Lin’s mother said, “I’ll handle this. You go out; building rapport is more important.”

Lin’s mother had already gone from subtly arranging things to doing it openly. In any case, Lin Yuewei wouldn’t be angry, and Gu Yanqiu would only blush; neither of them was any real threat. Gu Yanqiu still lingered, and Lin’s mother simply turned the handle of the kitchen knife toward her.

Gu Yanqiu: “...”

“Go on, hurry up, or my mom’s going to show her authority,” Lin Yuewei said as she naturally took Gu Yanqiu by the wrist and led her out. To cover the bruises, Gu Yanqiu was still wearing that long-sleeved shirt. Lin Yuewei, not paying attention, happened to grasp the bruised spot; Gu Yanqiu merely frowned a little, then smoothed it away, the corners of her mouth carrying a smile as she looked down at the hand Lin Yuewei had taken, as if she felt no pain at all.

Lin Yuewei led her all the way to the garden.

Lin’s father had had a craftsman build an old-fashioned swing for Lin Yuewei. After so many years, under the huge shade of the towering tree, green vines had climbed all over the swing frame, and the fragrance of flowers drifted over from not far away.

Lin Yuewei helped her sit on the swing, both hands gripping the ropes as she was about to push her. Gu Yanqiu kept her feet on the ground and said, “Wait.”

“It’s very safe, and nobody can see us. No one will call you childish.” Lin Yuewei thought she was worried about that.

Gu Yanqiu shook her head.

Just as Lin Yuewei was wondering why she was shaking her head, Gu Yanqiu extended a hand toward her. Her palm was pale and soft, her fingers long and luminous, making an inviting gesture. Last night, Gu Yanqiu had used that same hand to firmly pin her waist, not allowing her the slightest escape, and then afterward...

Lin Yuewei quickly shook away the memory of last night, avoided Gu Yanqiu’s hand, and simply sat down beside her. Gu Yanqiu’s hand landed on empty air, and a trace of disappointment slipped through her brows and eyes.

A fist’s width separated them, yet they could clearly feel the faint warmth of each other’s bodies.

Both looked straight ahead; neither dared look at the other first.

Lin Yuewei said, “We each hold one side of the rope, keep our toes on the ground, and push off together.” She demonstrated once for her. “Then like this, rhythmically bend your legs and straighten them again, and use the strength of your shoulders and back; that’ll get the swing going. Don’t let your feet touch the ground again in the middle, understand?”

Gu Yanqiu nodded.

“One, two, three...”

“Wait.”

Lin Yuewei thought, What now?

Gu Yanqiu moved a little closer to the middle, until her shoulder was right against Lin Yuewei’s, and said softly with her head lowered, “This might be steadier.” Then, as if to be thorough, she added, “Right?”

“...Right.” Lin Yuewei felt a layer of fine sweat seep out at the nape of her neck.

“Then I’m counting one, two, three.”

“Mm.”

Lin Yuewei and Gu Yanqiu pushed off with their toes touching the ground, sending the swing forward; then they lifted their feet sharply, and the swing arced back. When they reached the high point, both bent their knees; when they descended, they straightened them. At first their timing was off, and they quickly slowed down, but after that they stayed in the air longer and longer.

At some point, the hands resting on their knees crossed the invisible boundary between them and quietly clasped together. Lin Yuewei’s fingers, like a brush, slowly traced the prominent knuckles on the back of Gu Yanqiu’s hand, the bones rising and falling like green mountains; her own heart beat like churning water surging and rolling between peaks.

The tips of Gu Yanqiu’s ears were faintly red.

“Yanqiu, I have a question about the Sutra of Earth Treasury that I wanted to ask you for the past couple of days and kept forgetting—” Lin’s mother came bursting out with a spatula still in her hand, clearly finding the matter very urgent.

The Lin and Gu pair hurriedly let go of each other’s hands; one tucked hers into a pocket, the other hid hers behind her back.

Lin’s mother had sharp eyes and immediately said, “Sorry, sorry, I interrupted.”

Author’s Note:

Lin’s mother: Farewell!