Chapter 28
“You want me to guess whether I’ll guess?” Lin Yuewei asked in an especially gentle tone.
“……” Jiang Congbi knew exactly what Lin Yuewei’s impatient voice usually sounded like, so she silently grumbled to herself before saying, “Fine, don’t guess. I’ll tell you straight.”
“Who is it?”
“In this industry, everyone usually keeps to themselves, and we’re supposed to follow confidentiality rules too. But the PR company I hired and the one your mysterious sugar mama hired just happen to be the same company. What a coincidence, right?”
Lin Yuewei: “Ha.”
Jiang Congbi let out a shriek on the other end of the phone. “Why are you so irritable now? What’s going on?”
Lin Yuewei blinked. “Am I irritable?”
Jiang Congbi said with complete certainty, “You are. You’re extremely irritable, and you get impatient really easily. I’ve only said a few words to you, and you’re already this impatient with me.”
Lin Yuewei blurted, “Who told you to talk nonsense?”
“Who’s talking nonsense? I just—” Jiang Congbi suddenly broke off, her eyes rolling as she dragged out her tone with obvious teasing. “Oh, I know now…”
Lin Yuewei cut her off at once. “Know what? What do you know? Have you finished your thesis?”
“Don’t try to change the subject. It’s because I mentioned your wife, isn’t it?” If Lin Yuewei were standing in front of Jiang Congbi right now, she might have restrained herself and thought about her personal safety. But with such a long distance between them now, Jiang Congbi was completely unrestrained.
“Jiang. Cong. Bi.”
“Okay, okay, I was wrong.” Jiang Congbi had pushed her luck about as far as she could; she knew when to stop.
“I’m hanging up.”
The moment Lin Yuewei finished speaking, there was a busy signal on the other end.
Jiang Congbi heard it and thought, that won’t do, and hurriedly called back. She dialed three times in a row before Lin Yuewei finally answered.
“I was wrong, Sister Lin.” Jiang Congbi didn’t dare say another useless word and confessed honestly, “I only know that sugar mama’s surname is Lin.”
“Lin?” Lin Yuewei’s finger, which had been resting on the hang-up button, paused. She withdrew it. “What else?”
“Nothing else. This was supposed to be confidential too; I only managed to pry it out after a lot of effort.” Jiang Congbi made a sound of realization. “Oh, right. They said it was a woman.”
“Lin…” Lin Yuewei pressed the tip of her tongue to the roof of her mouth and repeated the surname softly in her head. She already had a rough guess.
Looks like her mother still couldn’t bear to see her get cursed out online like this. Or maybe someone had accidentally dragged the whole Lin family into the mud, and her mother had gotten angry; in a fit of temper, she’d bought a batch of hired trolls to scrub it all back.
Jiang Congbi had guessed the rough outline too. “Do you think it might be your mom?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you call home and ask?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Okay, your call.”
“I’ve already put a lot of your old material out there. Your fans are basically running on pure adrenaline now. The online opinion hasn’t changed all that much, but I checked it over; most of it is just random passersby following the hate train, or marketing accounts using your traffic to make money. Slow and steady. I’d say this probably won’t fully turn around until after the show ends. Making it into the debut lineup is the most important thing.”
“Mm, thanks.”
“Hey, what are friends for? But your temper really is getting bigger and bigger. Reign it in a little. Make a couple more friends at the base; it might be easier to get by in the industry later.”
“Got it.”
Jiang Congbi talked to her a little longer about the interactive game hitting the hot search, then said she had to hurry off to finish her thesis. Lin Yuewei exchanged a few more words with her before ending the call.
She stood up and leaned against the wall, thinking over what Jiang Congbi had said.
Was she really getting more and more irritable?
Lin Yuewei’s hand hanging by her side clenched into a fist.
Maybe. She thought so.
As for why, she had a rough idea in her heart, more or less; it was just that this wasn’t the time to think about that.
She had no intention of calling her mother. Since her mother had secretly arranged for the hired trolls to help her, it meant she didn’t want Lin Yuewei to know. And with her mother’s personality, calling her out would not end well. Better to keep it in mind and repay her properly later.
Lin Yuewei opened her call log. She knew a certain person’s incoming call had already been deleted, but she still scrolled from top to bottom, trying to dig something up.
Shao Yasi had just finished a call with her parents and seemed to have cried; her eyes were red. She was homesick and assumed Lin Yuewei was the same, so she patted her on the shoulder and comforted her. “Once the show ends, you can go home.”
Lin Yuewei let her misunderstand without explanation. She put her phone beside her pillow. In a little while, they were going out for work, and the phones would be temporarily kept with them; she lay flat on the bed and stared blankly for a long while.
It wasn’t until Shao Yasi called out, “Yuewei, why aren’t you changing yet? What are you thinking about?”
Lin Yuewei’s frozen eyes moved, and she looked over.
Shao Yasi said, “Today we’re shooting a magazine.”
Lin Yuewei sat up.
Right, they were shooting a magazine today; the inside pages of the renowned fashion magazine E. The top twelve would go. After the previous episode aired, Shao Yasi’s ranking happened to be twelfth, just enough to make the cut. When the rankings were first announced, she had been near the very bottom out of fifty people, but she had steadily climbed step by step and successfully survived two eliminations. With her current momentum, she was almost certain to make the finals. The finals would take the top ten.
Lin Yuewei picked up her clothes and was just about to head into the bathroom when Shao Yasi said, “The bathroom’s occupied. I covered the camera; change here.”
Lin Yuewei looked over at the corner of the wall. A scarf had been wrapped around the camera, three layers deep.
“...Thanks.”
Twelve girls gathered in the hallway and were led by the program staff to the shooting location. In the corridor, the twelve girls greeted one another face to face, then started chatting in twos and threes. It was their first time shooting a magazine, let alone a world-renowned one like E. Even if it was only an inside spread, that was enough to excite this group of young girls. The youngest among them was only fifteen and a proper child star by background, already quite popular and currently ranked fifth, making her a strong candidate for a debut spot.
Lin Yuewei was very calm; so calm that she was a little distracted.
Shao Yasi held her hand, squeezing it anxiously. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Lin Yuewei shook her head and gave her a faint smile.
She remembered something Jiang Congbi had told her. This time, the blackening campaign against the event stage might very well have been done by one of these contestants. If the program team wanted to create buzz, there was no need to pick a moment like that; besides, Lin Yuewei had already been blackened enough. Compared with accusations like “bad acting” or “pretending to be pure and innocent,” a clumsy on-site incident was not a particularly solid hammer. The production team knew very well how these things worked and understood that too much of anything had the opposite effect. More likely, someone’s livelihood had been touched.
Among the eleven people in front of her, aside from Shao Yasi, anyone could have been stirring the pot behind the scenes. Those ranked ahead of her wanted to make their position more secure; those behind her would be delighted to drag her down and take her place. Lin Yuewei was more inclined to think it was someone ranked behind her. If they really meant to knock her off the ladder, there should be more tricks to come.
While the others weren’t paying attention, Lin Yuewei leaned toward Shao Yasi’s ear and said a few quiet words. Shao Yasi’s brows slowly drew together, then she nodded.
So while everyone else was happily chatting, Lin Yuewei secretly wiped at her eyes; her fingertips came away glistening.
Shao Yasi said anxiously, “Does anyone have tissues?”
“I do.” One of the girls took out an unopened packet from her bag and asked softly, “What happened? Why did she suddenly start crying?”
Shao Yasi dabbed away Lin Yuewei’s tears and shook her head, signaling for them not to ask.
Someone whispered to another, “Is it because her ranking dropped?”
In the latest ranking announcement, Lin Yuewei had dropped to sixth, down three places, just outside the debut line. There were only four episodes left. For a person to fall out of the debut zone at this point, the blow was self-evident. Crying was perfectly normal.
Shao Yasi sighed. “It’s not because of that. Didn’t Yuewei go to the event stage a few days ago with first and second place? It was about interacting with a fan…”
Shao Yasi paused. No one answered. With her back to Lin Yuewei, she said softly, “She got cursed out and hit the hot search.”
Although the program team required them to turn in their phones, there were always some people who could use theirs freely. Shao Yasi knew of one; someone the production team treated especially well. She had happened to see it while going to the rooftop for a breeze last time, and had even agreed to keep it a secret. The outside world, including the fans, thought they knew nothing, but in fact, they knew everything.
Sure enough, after Shao Yasi said that, hardly anyone present looked shocked. Only the second-place contestant, the fifth-place child star, and the eighth- and ninth-place contestants widened their eyes a little.
“What’s there to blacklist her for? The people online are just bored out of their minds,” the ninth-place contestant said bluntly. She was the most uncomplicated of the bunch and had no interest in debuting; she was here to play. “You should know they’re blackening you for a reason. It’s just to keep you from debuting. If you fall for it so easily, aren’t you just doing exactly what they want?”
That sentence hit quite a few people present. Aside from her, no one here didn’t want to debut. There were only five spots, and someone was always going to miss out.
Tears welling in her eyes, Lin Yuewei nodded.
“That’s right,” the second-place contestant chimed in. “The best thing is to practice hard. You have so many fans. Last time I got off work and came back, I saw your fans waiting outside; they even asked me when you’d be done.”
The fifth-place child star said, “Keep it up.”
The others also offered comfort, whether sincere or insincere. Lin Yuewei and Shao Yasi took in everyone’s expressions.
The group got into the car prepared by the production team and waved to the fans waiting outside through the windows. The fans shouted themselves hoarse, while the little idols inside waved back. Some wrote things on the glass with their breath; some mouthed words.
A misty drizzle had started outside, but no one left.
Lin Yuewei asked Shao Yasi, who was sitting beside her, “Did you bring your notebook?”
“I did.”
“Can I borrow a pen and paper? Preferably a signature pen.”
Shao Yasi happened to have one, and handed over the notebook with the pen. “What do you want to do?”
Lin Yuewei wrote two bold black words on the paper with the signature pen: Go back.
Then she pressed the side with the writing against the car window.
The sounds from outside were muffled by a layer of glass and couldn’t be heard clearly, but it seemed as if the shouts of “Lin Yuewei” were even louder. Lin Yuewei kept the paper there, then wrote another one: Now.
She wore her baseball cap backward, revealing clear, sharp features. Through the car window blurred by fine rain, the fans saw her fierce expression.
Lin Yuewei wrote another slip, this one with three exclamation points.
Little by little, people in the crowd began to disperse. Eyes brimming with tears, they listened to Lin Yuewei’s advice.
It was hard to understand this kind of feeling; how could they show such fierce loyalty to one person, without hesitation, without regard for gain or loss?
Lin Yuewei looked at her Super Topic. The fans said that amid the endless black tide, this was the only place where they could huddle together and keep each other warm, because they loved the same person. They would be cursed at by haters for hundreds of comments just for publicly saying they liked Lin Yuewei; the insults would be vicious and relentless, yet they still wouldn’t change. For the sake of pulling one person back from the influence of the hate storm, they would stay up all night arguing with people, then go to work the next day with swollen eyes. From the moment she was blackened until now, they had never given up; they had always been defending her.
To be honest, when Lin Yuewei entered the entertainment industry, she didn’t mainly intend to reach any supreme artistic heights in acting; she had another purpose altogether. But faced with the support of such a group of strangers, a surge of heat naturally rose in her chest. Even for these people alone, she would give it her all.
By then, the fans holding Lin Yuewei’s banners had almost all left, and the bus pulled away a few minutes later. Lin Yuewei blinked away the sting in her eyes and returned the signature pen and notebook to Shao Yasi, only to see that Shao Yasi’s eyes were also red.
Lin Yuewei: “……”
This young lady seemed a little too sentimental.
Shao Yasi choked up and said, “Being your fan is so happy.”
Lin Yuewei: “……”
Shao Yasi said, “I used to follow celebrities too, you know. You have no idea how much a little bit of feedback from an idol means to fans.”
Lin Yuewei didn’t follow idols and couldn’t really understand the feeling. She only did what she did because she thought it must be exhausting to be her fans, so she wanted to treat them a little better.
“The one you used to follow was getting cursed out every day like me?”
“They got cursed out. Badly,” Shao Yasi said. “These days, what celebrity who’s really blowing up isn’t getting cursed out? The bigger the tree, the more wind it catches. When they were getting cursed at, we’d huddle up too, trying to pull in as many people as we could. Later, the celebrity I liked proved them wrong with their work, and now they’re so hot they’re practically red beyond red. But I actually miss when they were just starting to rise and didn’t have many fans yet; now they feel farther and farther away from the fans. Their Weibo is all ads now. Sigh.”
“Mm.” Lin Yuewei didn’t know how to respond, so she simply hummed in agreement.
Shao Yasi could tell she didn’t look like someone who would ever follow idols, so she didn’t keep talking at her. Instead she said, “Once you get famous in the future, you won’t care about these fans anymore. There’ll be too many of them to care about.”
“Mm.”
The ride to the shooting location took a while. The contestants were sleep-deprived as usual, chattered for a bit, and then each leaned over and fell asleep. Shao Yasi looked around once, then lowered her voice and said to Lin Yuewei, who was seated by the window, “I just checked. The suspicious ones include…”
She named several people and said, “These should all be under suspicion.”
Then, based on family background, half of the ten could be ruled out, leaving the other half.
Lin Yuewei had plenty of ways to investigate slowly. Once she found out who was stirring trouble behind her back, they shouldn’t blame her for what happened next. She wasn’t the only one who knew how to play dirty.
Lin Yuewei plugged earphones into her phone and put them on, folding her arms and closing her eyes to rest. Shao Yasi looked toward the front and back of the car once more, then closed her eyes to sleep too.
***
The magazine’s shooting concept was urban glamour. Lin Yuewei sat before the makeup station, while the makeup artist studied her face, seeming unable to decide where to start. He looked for a long while, then actually walked away.
Lin Yuewei: “???”
Not long after, he came back, bringing another person with him. Lin Yuewei had seen that person when she first came in; she was the photographer for this shoot. The makeup artist and photographer scrutinized her together. The makeup artist’s eyes lit up, and the directness of his gaze gave Lin Yuewei the uncomfortable sense that she was being insulted.
Just as she was about to speak up and stop the two of them from discussing her, they reached an agreement.
The makeup artist rolled up his sleeves and came over. Lin Yuewei shrank her shoulders back a little, and the makeup artist laughed. “I’m not going to do anything to you. Why are you dodging?”
“Your expression makes it seem like you’re planning to dissect me,” Lin Yuewei said.
The makeup artist laughed again. “We don’t eat people, and we don’t enjoy dismemberment games. I just want to change your makeup, so we need to discuss it.”
“Change my makeup?” Lin Yuewei’s features had no obvious flaws; a light makeup look should have been enough. The way he put it made it sound like he was going to make a big move.
“Mm-hmm.”
Lin Yuewei asked again, but he didn’t answer. Instead he focused on doing her makeup, sweeping all kinds of products of varying shapes and sizes across her face. Lin Yuewei had no choice but to close her eyes and cooperate.
Her makeup took the longest of anyone’s. When she opened her eyes, she found that it was already dark outside; when they had arrived, it had only been noon. The makeup artist looked at her as if he were examining a precious work of art and said softly, “Look in the mirror.”
Lin Yuewei looked toward the mirror.
From childhood to now, Lin Yuewei had always known she was much prettier than most people. But she had never known she could look like this in the mirror now. It was still her face; the makeup artist seemed not to have changed much at all, with nothing obvious altered. Yet the charm of that face had been brought out to the extreme.
Brows like ink painting, lips like a dab of red cinnabar, the edges of her peach-blossom eyes faintly flushed with pink; her eyes were hazy and deep, giving off a dreamlike, half-drunk, half-sober quality. It was her, and yet not her. If she had to use one word to describe it, it would be handsome; a beauty so striking it blurred gender and hit straight at the heart.
The makeup artist asked, “How is it?”
Lin Yuewei saw the corners of the person in the mirror’s mouth lift slightly, and her fair, elegant features somehow took on a faint trace of roguishness.
Lin Yuewei: “……”
How exactly had they done this makeup?
The makeup artist teased her. “What do novels always write? ‘Evil, seductive, and domineering.’ Right now, when you smile, you really look evil, seductive, and domineering. Smile for me and see?”
Lin Yuewei immediately pulled her face into a straight line.
She wouldn’t smile; she didn’t want to act like a domineering CEO.
The makeup artist burst out laughing. “When we shoot later, whether you want to or not, you’ll have to smile.”
The stylist brought over a set of clothes for Lin Yuewei. It was different from what they had shown them before. Lin Yuewei asked, “We’re all changing clothes?”
The makeup artist said, “Just you.”
Lin Yuewei: “……”
***
On the way back after finishing the magazine shoot, Lin Yuewei’s arm was almost squeezed off by Shao Yasi. She tugged once, but couldn’t free herself. Shao Yasi screamed in her ear, “I’m switching sides!”
“Switching sides to what?”
“Switching to your side,” Shao Yasi said. “You have no idea how good that outfit looked. Once those photos come out, it’ll definitely pull in a huge wave of new fans. Fans are all looks-obsessed.”
Lin Yuewei looked at the sky. She thought Shao Yasi was exaggerating too much.
Shao Yasi said, “Don’t not believe me. I’m at least classically trained, and there are plenty of beautiful girls at school. But none of them are prettier than you. If your acting were a little better too, what would first and second place even have to do with it?”
Lin Yuewei said gloomily, “They’re both right behind you.”
“Don’t fool me. They’re clearly in front,” Shao Yasi said. Even so, she still turned her head to look. There was no one behind them. She pinched Lin Yuewei’s arm.
Lin Yuewei winced in pain, and just happened to use that chance to pull her arm free. Shao Yasi had been holding onto it the entire way; it was exhausting.
Shao Yasi went on, “I think you look heroic and upright, the kind who’d be perfect for a role cross-dressing as a man. Like Dongfang Bubai.”
Lin Yuewei: “……”
She’d just take it as praise.
Shao Yasi studied her carefully under the streetlights and said, “You actually feel more like Brigitte Lin’s Xue Qianxun. Look at that expression of yours; it’s soft but with steel in it. Doesn’t it fit especially well?”
Lin Yuewei let it go in one ear and out the other. In just this short while, Shao Yasi had already said she resembled several long-famous seniors. In fan circles, that was called an outrageous comparison.
Shao Yasi analyzed her future acting path with great enthusiasm, and Lin Yuewei made vague, scattered sounds of agreement. For an actor just starting out, it was roles choosing people, not people choosing roles. If she placed too much hope on things now, she might not be able to handle the gap later.
“What are you two dawdling about back there? Hurry up and catch up.” One of the figures ahead stopped and called to them. The two of them had been gossiping in the back and had fallen behind quite a bit.
Lin Yuewei got on the bus back. By the time she staggered back to the dormitory, it was already midnight. As usual, fans were still waiting. Lin Yuewei had gifts hanging all over her hands as she dragged her tired steps into the dorm.
Shao Yasi showered first; Lin Yuewei showered afterward. After changing into her pajamas, she lay down on the bed and felt under her pillow for her phone; the staff either forgot or were being considerate and had delayed turning it in until tomorrow morning.
The moment Lin Yuewei found the phone, all sleepiness vanished. She lit up the screen; in the darkness, her own face reflected back at her. There was the sound of someone turning over on the bed next door. Lin Yuewei turned the brightness all the way down.
She seemed full of energy, but with the phone in hand, she didn’t know who to talk to.
Jiang Congbi? They had already chatted during the day, and when Lin Yuewei talked with her, the conversation could easily go on until dawn; she had too much to say. Other friends? She wasn’t in the mood. Check Weibo and the forums? She’d likely run into her own black material. Try talking to her mom? The two of them were in a phase where neither spoke to the other; they had agreed she’d go home after four months, with no contact in between.
She aimlessly tapped through app after app, opening and closing them, closing and opening them. Her WeChat list was a string of names, but not one of them made her want to chat. She opened the QQ she rarely used, scrolled down from recent chats, and found a message from a month ago.
[Stargazing: Something came up at home, so I came back.]
[Reeds: Are you going back abroad?]
[Stargazing: I probably won’t.]
Lin Yuewei’s eyes widened. That day, she and Gu Yanqiu had gone to the civil affairs bureau to get their marriage certificate. She had sent the other person a message asking why she had returned to the country, and more than a month later, the other person replied that something had come up at home. When Lin Yuewei asked whether she would go back abroad, the other person never replied again.
Now, when she opened it, there was actually a reply from a month ago, and the system hadn’t alerted her.
Possessed by some unknown impulse, Lin Yuewei opened the chat box and sent a message to this stranger she had known for two or three years: [Are you free?]
She locked the screen and set the phone beside her pillow, thinking that if no one replied within ten seconds, she’d go to sleep in peace.
One, two, three…
***
Gu Yanqiu suddenly clenched both hands on the armrests of the chair and opened her eyes. Her vision was blurred for a moment. She looked around and realized she was still in the study; the computer screen in front of her was dark.
The room was quiet.
Her finger lightly touched the mouse. With a hum, the host came to life, and the computer screen lit up in response. Gu Yanqiu took a tissue and wiped the cold sweat from her forehead, then stared at the screen in a daze for a while.
***
Three, four, five, six, seven, eight…
A patch of light glowed at the edge of the bed.
Lin Yuewei picked up her phone.
[Stargazing: I’m free. Want to play a round?]
Lin Yuewei stared at the line of text on the screen, both happy and annoyed. Happy because this person was usually impossible to find, yet this time had appeared as soon as she called for them in her heart. Annoyed because the opening line always seemed to be some version of “let’s play a round,” or else “I invited you”; there was nothing in their mind except games. It was all Jiang Congbi’s fault for constantly brainwashing her into thinking the other person was a middle-aged shut-in. Now that she saw these words, her whole imagination felt off.
Lin Yuewei typed: [I don’t have a computer right now.]
[Stargazing: Is there anything I can help you with?]
Lin Yuewei typed: [Keep me company and chat. Are you free?]
The moment she sent that, the other person vanished again. Lin Yuewei: “……”
Gu Yanqiu went downstairs to pour a glass of water, put it on the desk, and saw the reply on the computer screen before her. She hesitated, then replied: [Yes. I just woke up.]
She was free anyway; she had just opened a game and was about to play a round.
[Reeds: I don’t even know what to say. I can’t sleep. Do you have any interesting stories you could tell?]
Gu Yanqiu replied: [If you can’t sleep, count sheep.]
Lin Yuewei rolled her eyes and typed quickly: [Are you a straight guy?]
Gu Yanqiu replied: [Straight guy?]
What did that mean? She wasn’t straight, and she wasn’t a man.
More messages from the netizen Reeds popped up in the chat box: [It means you’re clueless about romance.]
Gu Yanqiu felt completely baffled. Their relationship was probably nowhere near the point where romance needed to be considered.
[System notification: Reeds withdrew a message.]
Lin Yuewei sent another one: [Never mind, I’ll tell you a story.]
Gu Yanqiu: [Okay.]
Lin Yuewei and Gu Yanqiu chatted casually for half an hour under their alternate identities. For most of the time, Lin Yuewei talked and Gu Yanqiu listened, occasionally replying with a short sentence.
This was the first time Lin Yuewei had talked with Stargazing about something outside the game for so long. After they were about to say goodbye, Lin Yuewei still felt unsatisfied. She lay with her eyes open, staring at the bedboard overhead, still silently guessing what gender and age this mysterious netizen might be.
When someone wears a filter over a network cable, they can’t help but beautify the other person in their mind. Lin Yuewei traced the image in the air with her fingers. If they were a man… she imagined a handsome man of twenty-five or twenty-six, wearing a suit and tie, smiling warmly and maturely. If they were a woman… that person would have a great figure, around twenty-five years old, in a shirt and trench coat, elegant and poised. Only the face was something she had never been able to picture clearly.
Her gaze shifted aside, and like lightning flashing through her mind, Gu Yanqiu’s cool, distant face appeared and fit perfectly onto the woman she’d imagined.
Lin Yuewei jumped in fright and quickly pulled the blanket over her head.
Author’s Note:
I have a bold idea; you definitely won’t guess it…
Miss Gu: Can anyone count how many layers of alternate identities I’m wearing? I don’t even know myself →_→
Actually, Miss Lin almost succeeded in an online romance; it’s a pity Miss Gu was too cold and only treated her as a gaming friend, never giving her the chance ﹁_﹁
Miss Lin: Yesterday you ignored me; today I’ll be beyond your reach!
Gu Yanqiu: Once the disguise is blown, it’s all over ╭(╯^╰)╮