Chapter 129

Lin Yuewei looked up and met Gu Feiquan’s questioning gaze. After she had studied him several times, he had finally looked her way. She asked, “Big Brother, where is your mother?”

Gu Feiquan said, “I told her to go rest first.”

Oh. Rest.

Lin Yuewei thought for a moment, then asked, “Is she in the hospital?”

Gu Feiquan nodded. “I didn’t feel right letting her go back alone, so I had someone set up a bed for her here at the hospital to sleep first.”

Lin Yuewei had wanted to ask where exactly, but to avoid arousing Gu Feiquan’s suspicion, she swallowed the question. It wasn’t that she thought Gu Feiquan was in cahoots with his mother; she still trusted Gu Yanqiu’s judgment when it came to people. It was just that the two of them were mother and son. If she pushed too hard over a baseless guess, it would only make her look like she was driving a wedge between them, which made no sense at all.

Gu Feiquan gave her a long look. Since she wasn’t asking, he didn’t say anything more either.

***

Gu Huai’s condition was better than expected. He didn’t need an oxygen mask, only had one IV line running into the back of his hand, and aside from his pale complexion, he otherwise looked almost normal.

“You’re here.” Gu Huai smiled faintly at Gu Yanqiu as she came through the door.

Gu Yanqiu walked over in silence; the isolation gown made her seem even less approachable than usual.

The smile on Gu Huai’s face didn’t fade as his gaze followed her step by step.

When Gu Yanqiu reached him, she crouched down so they were eye level. She looked at him for a few seconds and asked, “Why?”

Gu Huai lightly patted the edge of the bed with the hand that wasn’t hooked up to the IV, signaling for her to sit.

Gu Yanqiu pulled over a chair and sat down as told.

Gu Huai sighed, though his expression didn’t seem especially pained.

“At first, I did think about whether I should keep it from all of you. But then I thought, whether I did or didn’t, it was all the same. Telling one more person wouldn’t make me any more likely to be cured. I didn’t want you all worrying, so I decided to keep it from you.”

And…

Gu Huai didn’t say the second reason, because Gu Yanqiu probably wouldn’t feel good hearing it.

Gu Huai had only just married He Songjun. No matter why he’d married her, for her to learn shortly after entering the family that he had cancer was far too unfair. If she could have a few more carefree days, then those days were as precious as gold.

“And then you could leave with no ties and no regrets?” Gu Yanqiu asked coldly. What did he take her for? Someone who didn’t matter?

Gu Huai: “…”

He started coughing. Gu Yanqiu came over to help him catch his breath. “My tone was bad. I’m sorry.”

Gu Huai: “Cough, cough… no…”

Gu Yanqiu: “???”

After he’d caught his breath, Gu Huai stared at her for a long time in disbelief. “Who said I was going to leave with no ties?”

Gu Yanqiu said, “Secretary Li.”

Gu Huai said angrily, “Give me the phone. I’m calling him right now. What kind of thing is that to say? Is he cursing me or what?”

Gu Yanqiu thought: Isn’t that exactly it?

She thought back carefully, then said, “Oh, Secretary Li’s exact words were ‘with no ties,’ and he didn’t say the part about ‘leaving.’”

Gu Huai coughed and said, “You misunderstood.”

Gu Yanqiu: “Hm?”

Gu Huai said, “When I said ‘with no ties,’ I meant that once the company’s matters are dealt with, I can settle down and focus on treatment. The doctor said my condition isn’t serious. If I cooperate with treatment, the chances of a cure are pretty high. Even if it can’t be cured, it’s not like I’ll be gone in a year or two. At the very least, I’ll drag it out for three to five years; that’s enough to make it worthwhile. I didn’t expect this to happen during the New Year.”

Gu Huai smiled. “Ah, my body just became uncooperative all of a sudden.”

Gu Yanqiu said, “So you mean…”

Gu Huai said, “I only kept it from you because I didn’t want you worrying.” Once he finished handling the company’s affairs, he’d go find a place with mountains and clear water to recuperate, and bring He Songjun with him. After all, he owed He Songjun too much.

Gu Huai went on, “Now that you know, that’s good too. Once news of my cancer spreads through the company, the two little Wus probably won’t be able to sit still anymore. That’ll be just right for you to reap the benefits. Don’t keep coming to the hospital all the time; if they notice, they’ll start suspecting. Tomorrow, go to work as usual, hold meetings as usual.”

“I understand, Dad.” Gu Yanqiu instinctively put on her obedient face in front of him.

Gu Huai said, “I’m a little tired. You should go to sleep too.” With that, he closed his eyes.

Gu Yanqiu still had a lot of questions she hadn’t asked, but whether he was truly tired or just pretending, Gu Huai had already adopted a clear “time to see the guest out” posture. She had no choice but to leave.

Gu Feiquan and Lin Yuewei stood up at the same time.

Gu Yanqiu looked at Lin Yuewei first, then shifted her gaze to Gu Feiquan. “Dad’s asleep. Tonight, I…”

Gu Feiquan suppressed the flicker of displeasure that had just crossed his face and cut her off, taking the initiative to say, “I’ll stay the night. I’ll take the day off tomorrow and not go to the company.”

Gu Yanqiu didn’t refuse. She nodded slightly. “I appreciate it.”

Gu Huai was right; at this point, she could only carry the coldness through to the end. And Gu Feiquan clearly had guessed as much, which was why he had made the suggestion.

Gu Feiquan hummed in acknowledgment. “Are you two going to make do here at the hospital for the night, or head home?”

Lin Yuewei looked at Gu Yanqiu. Gu Yanqiu said, “Let’s go home. Call me anytime if anything comes up.”

Gu Feiquan nodded. “All right, then you two go ahead.”

Gu Yanqiu lowered her head and silently looked at the slippers on his bare feet. Gu Feiquan curled his toes and pulled them back a little, saying, “I’ll have someone bring me a new pair later.”

Gu Yanqiu said, “Thank you. I’m sorry for the trouble.”

Gu Feiquan froze. By then, Lin and Gu had already left side by side.

Gu Feiquan looked at their retreating backs and let the corner of his lips curl faintly, then stretched lazily and wandered off toward the room where he’d sleep. It was already three or four in the morning; waking the assistant from a peaceful sleep wasn’t appropriate. He could sleep first and get them in the morning.

Gu Feiquan slipped in quietly and called softly first, “Mom?”

He Songjun had her back to him, not moving at all. Gu Feiquan shook out the blanket on the sofa, yawned, curled his long limbs into it, and laid his cheek against the armrest. He rubbed his foot once, then fell asleep like that; even snoring started up.

He Songjun, who had kept her back to him all this time, suddenly turned over and quietly stared at him in the darkness.

***

Lin and Gu returned to the Lin residence. By dawn, Lin Yuewei would have to get up early to go to the temple to burn incense and pray for blessings. To make it easier for her to go together with Ran Qingqing, they had even chosen the longer route over the closer one. Ran Qingqing hadn’t slept soundly all night; the moment she heard the front gate open outside, she got up in her coat.

“Mom?” Lin Yuewei turned on the light and was startled by the figure standing at the bedroom door. “Why are you still awake?”

“I was asleep. I woke up when I heard the noise.”

“Go back to sleep quickly.” Lin Yuewei waved at her.

“How is your father-in-law doing?” Ran Qingqing was asking about Gu Yanqiu.

Gu Yanqiu answered, “He woke up once; he was in good spirits. He’s asleep again now.”

“Good, good. You two should hurry and sleep too. It’s almost dawn.” Ran Qingqing said no more and turned back into her room.

“Got it. Good night, Auntie.”

“Good night.” Ran Qingqing pulled the bedroom door shut behind her with a soft click.

Lin Yuewei hung both of their coats over the back of the sofa, took Gu Yanqiu’s hand, and pressed her straight onto the bed. She covered her with the blanket, and before Gu Yanqiu could say a single word, said firmly, “Sleep. No overthinking.”

“I’m not overthinking.” Gu Yanqiu weakly defended herself, then slowly closed her eyes. “You should sleep too.”

“I will.” Lin Yuewei lay down in a flash.

Gu Yanqiu couldn’t possibly fall asleep, but she still kept her eyes shut, keeping them closed until dawn when the alarm rang. She felt an arm reach over her from above and turn off the alarm. When she and Lin Yuewei lived together, they used one phone to set the alarm, usually Gu Yanqiu’s. Then the other would lower her head and lightly kiss her forehead before quietly getting up to wash up.

If not for the fact that her ears had been paying close attention the entire time, she truly wouldn’t have heard Lin Yuewei’s sounds of running water, brushing her teeth, and washing her face. Stranger still, amid those faint, busy noises, she had actually drifted off into sleep.

Lin Yuewei changed clothes, pressed one last kiss to Gu Yanqiu’s lips, then opened the door and went downstairs.

Ran Qingqing had slept fitfully through the night. Her body couldn’t compare to a younger person’s; after sleeping for two hours and opening her eyes for a while, she was energetic again. She was now sitting at the dining table, waking herself up over breakfast. When she heard footsteps, she only looked up once. “Just you?”

“She’s still sleeping. I moved her alarm back a little.” Lin Yuewei said. The temple was almost outside Yanning City; driving there would take two or three hours. Since they had to set out early, and Gu Yanqiu didn’t start work until nine, she could sleep a bit longer.

The maid placed Lin Yuewei’s breakfast on the table. Lin Yuewei pulled out a chair and sat down. “Thank you.”

Mother and daughter quietly finished breakfast, got into the car waiting outside with the driver, and left the Lin residence almost without a sound.

It wasn’t until almost eight that Gu Yanqiu was jolted awake by the alarm. She raised a hand to shield the light in front of her, took the phone from the nightstand, and found that the screen opened directly to the chat interface. Lin Yuewei had left her a message:

[I went to burn incense. Remember to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Don’t cry in secret.]

Gu Yanqiu: “…”

She replied that she was up, then leaned back against the headboard and called Gu Feiquan with her eyes closed.

Gu Feiquan set the apple he’d been peeling halfway through back onto the plate, wiped his hands, and answered. “Dad’s been moved to the intensive care unit… He’s awake… The doctor checked him; he’s in pretty good shape… You want to talk to Dad?”

When he heard that, Gu Huai turned his face over. Gu Yanqiu asked Gu Huai a couple of questions about his condition, then ended the call and got out of bed.

Gu Feiquan tossed the phone back onto the cabinet and picked up the apple to keep peeling. Gu Huai watched the long strip of peel dangling from his hand and smiled faintly. “I didn’t know you had this kind of skill.”

“I’ve got a lot of skills. You’ll see them all later.”

“Are you encouraging me?”

“Take it however you want.” Gu Feiquan accidentally broke the peel. He clicked his tongue, lowered the knife, gave it a shake so the peel fell into the trash, and from then on worked more casually. In the end, he cut the apple into small pieces and fed them to Gu Huai one bite at a time with a toothpick.

Gu Huai was used to having things served to him, but this still felt strange. The one sitting by his bedside was still the son who had grown up outside for twenty-eight years, and for a moment his emotions were tangled and complicated.

If they were being honest, there was no question that his feelings for Gu Feiquan were not as deep as the ones he had for Gu Yanqiu. In fact, when he first brought him back into the family, it was entirely out of guilt. Later, as time passed, he came to understand the child’s character and ability, and gradually began to think of cultivating him as Gu Yanqiu’s deputy. As for a father’s love for his son, it could basically be ignored. Both he and Gu Feiquan knew that very well.

The grievances of the previous generation always end up hurting the innocent younger one.

“Where’s your mother?” Gu Huai had eaten half the apple and waved his hand to say he didn’t want any more. Ever since Gu Huai woke up, he still hadn’t seen He Songjun.

“She went home.”

“She… isn’t doing very well, is she?” Gu Huai looked guilty.

“You know that too?” Gu Feiquan’s mouth curved with a mocking smile. His mother may not have been entirely blameless, but she was still the woman who had given birth to and raised him. What Gu Huai had done didn’t mean much to him, but to He Songjun it had been a bolt from the blue.

He Songjun was his mother; Gu Feiquan knew her well. She kept saying it was for the Gu family’s property, and that was indeed part of it, but more than that, it was for Gu Huai. Especially after he had treated her well once she entered the family, she, an ordinary woman without much foresight, gradually tilted the scale toward Gu Huai. Gu Huai had been her first love, her husband, and the support of her later years. To learn such a truth all at once and be unable to accept it immediately was perfectly normal.

Gu Huai let out a long sigh. “I’m the one who’s sorry to both of you.”

Gu Feiquan asked back, “Are you really the one who’s sorry to us?” He fixed his eyes on Gu Huai’s.

Gu Huai’s gaze was calm and unreadable. “If not me, then who?”

Gu Feiquan skipped over the topic and went straight to the point. “I’ve got a question for you.”

Gu Huai said, “Go ahead.”

Gu Feiquan asked, “Why did you marry my mother?”

“Didn’t I already answer that? Back then I felt I had wronged both of you, and out of a sense of compensation, I wanted to let your mother and son live a good life from then on.” Gu Huai looked at him, meeting his eyes.

“Wasn’t it because of Shen Huaiyu’s dying wish?” Gu Feiquan stared at him without blinking for a few seconds, then tugged lightly at the corners of his mouth.

He used his mother’s original name, not the later name she had changed to, Luo Yu.

The calm on Gu Huai’s face slowly cracked, and a trace of uncontrollable coldness flashed through his eyes. “How did you learn her name?”

Gu Feiquan rested one hand on the back of the chair and said almost self-mockingly, “I’ve said so much to you, and you’ve barely reacted at all. I just mentioned her name, and that’s what gets to you?”

Gu Huai said, “Did Yanqiu tell you? How much did she find out?”

Gu Feiquan ignored the question and continued, “You loved her so much. Just for a bit of compensation, how could you bear to let the title of Mrs. Gu be taken by someone else? Mr. Gu, your excuse doesn’t hold up.”

Gu Huai didn’t say a word, only looked at him.

Gu Feiquan gave a mocking laugh. “I’ve already got the answer I wanted. I’m going out for a cigarette.”

Gu Huai’s gaze fell behind him.

Gu Feiquan turned around and saw He Songjun standing at the doorway with a thermal lunch box in her hands. For once, a trace of panic flashed across Gu Feiquan’s face. He quickly composed himself and went over. “Why are you back so soon? Didn’t I say you should go home and sleep?”

He Songjun smiled and set the lunch box on the bedside table. “I was worried the two of you would go hungry. I asked the maid to prepare this especially this morning, then I came home to fetch it.”

Gu Huai looked at her tenderly. “You’ve worked hard. Have you eaten? Want to have some together?”

He Songjun nodded lightly.

Gu Feiquan only felt this scene stabbing his eyes. Gu Huai didn’t love his mother at all, yet in front of her he acted so gentle and considerate, as if he cherished her deeply. But in truth, it was all because of one sentence from Shen Huaiyu.

Gu Feiquan was afraid that if he stayed any longer, he’d lose control of himself. He hurriedly found an excuse and left first. He went to the smoking area, lit a cigarette, and took a fierce drag, breathing smoke out through his nose and mouth.

After a while, another man came over. He looked to be in his forties, older than Gu Feiquan, and was plainly dressed in a rather modest way. His back was a little hunched, and every wrinkle on his face seemed carved with the bitterness of life.

The man felt in his pocket and only found a pack of cigarettes; he had no lighter. He glanced at the cigarette burning between Gu Feiquan’s fingers, and Gu Feiquan handed it over so he could borrow a light.

The man took a puff and looked at him sideways. “Thanks.”

Gu Feiquan normally wouldn’t chat casually with strangers, but for some reason today he really wanted to vent to someone he didn’t know. “You and your family…” he asked. “What’s going on?”

The man hadn’t expected him to start talking. Even though Gu Feiquan looked pretty dejected right now, he clearly didn’t seem to be from the same class. Still, no matter what things looked like outside, in the hospital smoking area, class between people more or less vanished.

The man said, “My son has leukemia. His mother is keeping him company in the ward. What about you?”

Gu Feiquan said, “My dad has lung cancer.”

The man exhaled a plume of smoke, his face hidden in it, and said bitterly, “That’s fucking bullshit.”

Gu Feiquan leaned his back against the wall. Even now, the way he smoked was still refined; he smiled faintly. “Ain’t that the truth?”

The man glanced at him and said, “You don’t seem short on money. Not like us, working our asses off for more than ten years, and now at a time like this we still have to run around borrowing money to treat the kid.”

Gu Feiquan pressed the tip of his tongue against the roof of his mouth and slowly circled the inside once. He could taste the faint rust of blood between his teeth. He smiled. “I’m not short on money. Whatever medicine you want, you can use it.”

The barrier of class quietly rose again between them, blocking them off from each other.

The man couldn’t keep smoking. He snuffed out his cigarette in a hurry and left quickly. Gu Feiquan’s attempt at opening up had failed. He gave a self-mocking smile, pulled his phone out of his trouser pocket, spun it once between his fingers, tapped the first number in recent calls, and dialed.

Gu Yanqiu was driving to the company when she answered on speaker. “What is it? Is Dad worse again?”

Gu Feiquan said, “I’m the one who’s worse.”

Before Gu Yanqiu could answer, Gu Feiquan had already hung up.

Gu Yanqiu: “…”

A little later, her phone vibrated. As she waited at a red light, Gu Yanqiu opened it and looked.

[Gaibei: Gu Huai really did marry my mom because of your mother’s dying wish]

[System prompt: Gaibei recalled a message]

The two messages had come together; no one knew what Gu Feiquan had recalled.

Gu Yanqiu sent back a message saying she understood, then asked how he had gotten the answer.

Gu Feiquan described what had happened just now. From Gu Huai’s reaction, that was the only possible explanation.

[Gaibei: I want to go work at the company]

[Xigu: Then come on]

[Gaibei: Forget it, I have to act. I’m going back to the ward]

[Xigu: ok]

Gu Feiquan put away his phone and stopped at the ward door. He knocked once before pushing it open and going in. He Songjun had already finished feeding Gu Huai breakfast, and was now calling to him. “What took you so long? Hurry up and come eat.”

Gu Feiquan looked at He Songjun deeply. If she was willing to spend her whole life living inside a kind lie, should he expose the truth to her? Wait—had she just heard something?

Gu Feiquan took the bowl of congee He Songjun handed him and drank a mouthful. It was warm. Acting casual, he said, “Mom, why did you come in so suddenly just now? You scared me.”

“You and your father were talking so intently.”

“Did you hear what we were talking about?”

“I heard you say you were going out to smoke, and something about an answer. What answer?” He Songjun asked. “Has the congee gone cold? Should I go borrow a microwave and heat it up for you?”

“No, it was just something about the company. No need for a microwave; what would I need a microwave for?” Gu Feiquan quickly finished the congee in a few gulps, wiped his mouth, and said, “Done.”

“That’s bad for digestion,” He Songjun nagged.

“Got it. It’s just because you made it too delicious.”

“…The maid made it.” He Songjun was speechless.

“Pretty much the same; you picked the ingredients.” Gu Feiquan put an affectionate arm around He Songjun’s shoulders and, from where she couldn’t see, looked toward Gu Huai’s eyes. Gu Huai gave a slight nod.

Gu Feiquan let out a small breath of relief.

He Songjun packed away the empty lunchbox and said, “I’m going to wash this.”

Gu Feiquan said, “Okay, thanks, Mom. Go early and come back early.”

Keeping a smile on his face, Gu Feiquan watched He Songjun leave the ward, then immediately shot a sharp look at Gu Huai. “What did you just say to her? Are you sure she didn’t hear what the two of us were talking about?”

Gu Huai said, “I’m sure she didn’t hear it. I also told her that I never meant to abandon her, that I sincerely wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and that I would make my body better and live properly.”

“What did she say?”

“She said she’d listen to me.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Gu Huai said, “I really don’t love your mother, but my desire to make it up to her is real, and so is my wish to spend the rest of my life with her, to bring the matter from thirty years ago to a complete end with me; let the dust return to dust and the earth to earth.”

“That isn’t fair to my mom.” Gu Feiquan kept his voice low, while also warily glancing toward the door. No one was coming.

“Then what do you want me to do? Tell your mother the truth? What is fair? It’s been thirty years. These things have long since been twisted into a complete mess. What’s the point of still arguing over who was right and who was wrong?! Can’t your mother have a few peaceful days?!” Gu Huai suddenly roared, his chest rising and falling violently twice.

Gu Feiquan took two steps forward, then stopped himself and forcibly held back the urge to help him catch his breath. He was furious too. “Who exactly is the one who turned this into a complete mess? I, my mom, Gu Yanqiu, maybe even you and Shen Huaiyu—everyone is suffering because of this. Shouldn’t I find out the truth?!”

“You shouldn’t!” Gu Huai shouted back at once.

Gu Feiquan froze. “Why?”

Gu Huai closed his eyes, pressed a hand lightly over his lungs, and coughed in fits and starts. With the other hand, he pressed the bell by the bedside.

The nurse came in.

Gu Huai didn’t look at Gu Feiquan. “I need to rest. And call a doctor to examine me too; I’m not feeling very well.”

“Sir.” The nurse glanced at Gu Feiquan and asked him to leave.

Gu Feiquan left the ward with a dark expression and kicked hard at the railing. Family members passing by muttered to one another, and he shot them a glowering look in return. A nurse reminded him not to damage public property.

When He Songjun returned after washing the lunchbox, the only thing she saw was Gu Feiquan sitting on the chair outside the ward, head lowered, looking dispirited.

“What’s wrong?” He Songjun looked inside. “Your father he—”

“Don’t mention him!” Gu Feiquan roared. The instant he finished, he apologized, clutching his own hair with both hands and burying his face low against his knees. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

He Songjun was stunned by the outburst. After a moment, she gently lifted his face and pressed it against her abdomen, her fingers soft as they stroked his short hair.

“It’s been a long time since Mom saw you like this. The last time was when I was about to marry into the Gu family.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Hm?” He Songjun lowered her head to look at the whirl of hair on her son’s crown. When he was little, it had been one whirl; when he grew up, it was still one whirl. Were these the things that would never change, the things that would always stay by her side?

“Do you regret marrying into the Gu family?” Gu Feiquan looked up, his eyes full of tears.

“I…” He Songjun lifted her chin slightly without changing expression and let out a soft breath. “I don’t know. There’s no chance to start over in life. The thing I regret most in my life is… meeting your father.”

…And Shen Huaiyu.

Gu Feiquan pressed his face against her stomach and let out a choked sob. “Mom, let me take you away.”

“Where to?”

“Wherever you want to go. We’ll leave Yanning, far away from that man.” He didn’t want the truth anymore; he wanted nothing anymore. He didn’t want He Songjun to keep living inside a lie.

The thing he regretted most was not taking He Songjun away when he graduated from college, and then continuing to stay in Yanning and letting all of this happen.

“There’s nowhere to go.” He Songjun’s fingers moved through his short hair, low and soft, as if speaking to him and to herself at once. “Half my life has already been buried in the Gu family. I’m unwilling to accept it. How could I be willing?”

“Mom, what did you say?” Gu Feiquan only saw her lips move slightly when he looked up; he couldn’t make out what she’d said.

“I’m asking why you’re outside. Did your father kick you out?”

“No.” Gu Feiquan wiped at his eyes and covered it with a lie. “The doctor is examining him inside, so I came out.”

“Then why are you reacting like this?” At that moment, the look He Songjun gave him was faint and clear, as if she saw through everything. Gu Feiquan panicked a little and said, “I just heard him mention that woman’s name. I was standing up for you.”

“Is that so.”

“Mm.”

He Songjun let go of his face and sat down beside him, a faint smile on her lips. “Then let’s wait here together until the doctor finishes the exam.”