Heartache

Wei Yin’s heart gave a hard little thump.

She lowered her head and savored it for a few seconds, then looked up and said, with noticeably less confidence, “Say that again.”

Hua Yu lowered her head to pick up a bite of vegetables. She ate while looking at her, and only after she had finished at her leisure did she say, “You’re not allowed to go.”

Wei Yin was secretly delighted, but she still stressed, “This is a reunion that only happens once every four years.”

If this had been before, Hua Yu wouldn’t have cared where she went or what she did. She had always respected her in every way; as long as Wei Yin didn’t do anything that harmed her body, she would never interfere.

…Once upon a time, that attitude had driven Wei Yin crazy.

She hadn’t expected Hua Yu to actually say those three words: “not allowed to go.”

Wei Yin was instantly hit right in the heart, warm and tingly all over; she almost laughed out loud.

“It’s not once every four years,” Hua Yu said. “It’s a meal.”

“?”

Wei Yin picked up her food and, while eating, gave Hua Yu a puzzled look.

Hua Yu said with perfect composure, “Once every three years. It was held the year after graduation.”

“No way, why don’t I remember that?” Wei Yin blurted out. Then she met Hua Yu’s calm gaze, thought about it, and felt embarrassed. “Oh. I guess I really don’t remember.”

Maybe the end of university had left her with memories that were too unpleasant; after losing her memory, she had very little interest in digging into the past.

If not for Hua Yu showing up, she couldn’t be bothered to go through any of it. She often simply forgot she had amnesia.

Hua Yu continued, “If you go to the reunion, do you know who the class monitor is, or who your close friends are?”

Wei Yin: QAQ.

Hua Yu delivered the final blow. “When your roommates come over to chat with you, will you be able to call them by name?”

Wei Yin: …

She had actually wanted to say that she hadn’t found a single dorm group chat on WeChat at all. Either her roommates had never made one, or the group had died out after a while when she deleted the chat.

A dead group; she probably wouldn’t even be greeted.

Hua Yu added, “Imagine standing in the middle of a crowd of strangers. Every single one of them recognizes you, but you don’t remember them; they come up one by one to say hello.”

That image was horrifying. A social-phobia sufferer’s hell.

Never mind. She had been amnesiac for more than three years. Aside from Guo Ai recently messaging her, she wasn’t even close enough to anyone to count as a mere online acquaintance. There was absolutely no need to go to a class reunion.

Wei Yin lowered her head and said quietly, “Eat. Eat.”

“Dr. Hua, that’s not right,” Wei Yin said halfway through the meal, having recovered from her awkward, foot-curling embarrassment. She had caught a faint hint that something was off. “Are those really the only reasons?”

Hua Yu had just led her around in circles; somehow, everything had come back to Wei Yin’s side of things. She might have amnesia, but there were still people who knew her; for example, Yu Tiantian.

Hua Yu’s expression didn’t change. “Mm.”

“It has nothing to do with Yu Tiantian?” Wei Yin narrowed her eyes and leaned in to stare at Hua Yu.

Hua Yu answered evenly, “She isn’t important.”

“Oh.” Wei Yin was equally calm. She opened the private message screen and showed Hua Yu. “Then I’ll accept.”

When Hua Yu saw the words, “Long time no see, let’s have a meal together when you’re free,” her face visibly darkened; a flash of irritation crossed her features.

“No.”

Wei Yin pretended not to hear.

Hua Yu called her in a low voice, “Wei Yin, I’m talking to you.”

Wei Yin didn’t even look up. “Oh, I heard you.”

Hua Yu set down her chopsticks. There was nothing she could do about Wei Yin; afraid that she really would go see Yu Tiantian, her tone sharpened with a trace of urgency as she tried to reason with her. “You said you wouldn’t meet her privately.”

Wei Yin thought to herself that Hua Yu had finally remembered that part.

“Did I?” Wei Yin said reluctantly. “Then I’ll think about it.”

Once Hua Yu’s calm mask cracked, she became even more at a loss than other people. She couldn’t tell whether Wei Yin was joking, and after a moment she asked, “Still thinking about it?”

Wei Yin was full and satisfied, very pleased with Hua Yu’s cooking; she no longer had any interest in teasing her. She smiled and said, “Yes.”

Hua Yu asked, “When will you finish thinking?”

Wei Yin said, “Now.”

Hua Yu stared at her without speaking. Wei Yin stood up to clear away the dishes. As she passed Hua Yu, she reached out with one hand and used the back of it to touch Hua Yu’s head, saying smugly, “It’s going to rain tomorrow. I’m not going out.”

Not going out meant she wasn’t accepting Yu Tiantian’s invitation.

Hua Yu’s mood shifted at once from overcast to clear, not a cloud in sight.

There weren’t many dishes, and Wei Yin had planned to wash them by hand. Behind her, footsteps sounded.

“There’s a dishwasher,” Hua Yu said in a bright, cheerful voice.

Wei Yin replied, “I don’t want to wash the dishwasher.”

Leaning against the doorframe, Hua Yu watched her busy back, and a faint smile spread at the corners of her mouth.

Wei Yin had been living at her place for more than a month. How much weight a person could gain in a month varied from person to person, but Wei Yin was probably the type who didn’t put on flesh easily.

Still, the nutritional supplements Hua Yu had prescribed had an effect of regulating the stomach and improving absorption. On top of that, after eating with her for the whole month, and occasionally going out for a few days, Hua Yu would also tell Xu Ya Qing to take good care of Wei Yin. Her frame looked sturdier than when she had first been discharged from the hospital; at the very least, she had some flesh on her now.

Wei Yin actually wasn’t short. Her frame was just more delicate, and with her small head and small face, plus her dislike of fitted clothes, loose styles didn’t hang well on her, which made her look frail.

Now that the weather had turned warmer, she had started wearing pajamas that ended above her calves, exposing her arms and legs. When she bent down to wash the dishes, setting everything else aside, her butt at least had a bit more flesh on it now; the curve lifted upward, looking firm and springy.

But her waist was still that thin. Her pajamas draped down from under her arms along both sides of her waist; from behind, the width seemed not even as long as a palm.

If someone reached out to hold her, it would probably fit entirely within their arms.

Hua Yu’s gaze went blank. She looked away, the tips of her ears turning red.

“She still needs to be supplemented more,” Hua Yu muttered to herself.

Wei Yin was washing her hands with dish soap. She turned her head. “What?”

Hua Yu came back to herself, frowning. “Dish soap is bad for your hands.”

Wei Yin dried her hands. “Is it? It cuts grease.”

Hua Yu was helpless; all this carelessness somehow seemed reserved for her own body.

She stepped forward, took Wei Yin by the shoulders, and turned her around one hundred eighty degrees toward the bathroom. “Go.”

Hua Yu took out a pile of skincare products and pressed them into Wei Yin’s hands. “What do you usually use on your face?”

Wei Yin answered honestly, “Baby cream, or vitamin E cream.”

“Switch to this.” Hua Yu had given her a set of mild toner, lotion, and cream. She also pointed out the hand soap. “Wear gloves when you do housework from now on. Don’t use dish soap to wash your hands anymore. I’ll put a bottle of hand soap in the kitchen later; when you see it, you’ll know to use that. And the dishwasher has a self-cleaning function. It was bought to be used; don’t be afraid of wasting it.”

Wei Yin nodded along to everything. “Okay.”

The more Hua Yu lectured, the more uneasy she felt. This person had underdeveloped glands, and that made her face look younger too. She looked exactly as she had in college; the little bit of baby fat on her cheeks still hadn’t gone away. Relying on her youthful face, she didn’t take skincare or maintenance seriously.

“You… what’s wrong with your slippers?” Hua Yu looked Wei Yin up and down, then glanced down to see a tear in her slippers.

Wei Yin lifted her big toe bashfully. “The sole was too slippery, so I slid forward and split the front.”

“I’m not asking you how they split,” Hua Yu said. “I mean…”

“What?” Wei Yin looked at her, her eyes obedient and soft.

Hua Yu sighed. “Come here; I have a new pair.”

A child without a mother can really end up taking care of herself like this.

Hua Yu took out a new pair of slippers and set them by the bedroom door. “Try them on for size.”

Wei Yin put them on. When she looked down, her slightly long short hair brushed behind her ears, revealing the back of her neck and shoulder blades.

“It fits perfectly,” Wei Yin said with pleasant surprise. “How does Dr. Hua know my shoe size?”

She wore a size 36. Hua Yu wore 38.

“Ya Qing wears the same size as you.” Hua Yu raised a hand to hold Wei Yin’s shoulder.

Wei Yin couldn’t stand straight and asked in confusion, “What is it?”

Hua Yu hooked a finger under the collar of Wei Yin’s pajamas; the edge was already visibly worn, and the neat, parallel stitching inside could be seen.

“…I happen to have a new set of pajamas too.”

Hua Yu dug out two sets of pajamas for Wei Yin, too lazy to explain any further. “One small size; mine. One for Ya Qing; she’s short.”

“Her and I are about the same height,” Wei Yin emphasized. “I’m not short.”

Hua Yu said casually, “Mm-hmm, you’re not short.”

“That’s perfunctory. You’re discriminating against AOs,” Wei Yin said happily as she took them, then worried again. “Will Ya Qing have no clothes to wear when she comes?”

“She won’t. She’s very particular,” Hua Yu said, rubbing her forehead. “Food, clothing, shelter, and transport won’t be lacking for you… at all.”

Wei Yin hugged the clothes contentedly. “Okaaay.”

Hua Yu looked at her and finally couldn’t hold back. “You’re not jobless, are you? Where did all the money you’ve earned these years go?”

Wei Yin didn’t hide anything either. She answered whatever was asked, straightforwardly, “Repaying debt.”

Hua Yu’s pupils contracted.

“What debt?”

Wei Yin said, “For the cemetery I bought for Mom. I can’t remember the details, but for all these years I’ve been transferring money into that account. The notes always said things like ‘loan for buying a cemetery, XX repaid today, total repaid XX, remaining XX.’”

Hua Yu pressed, “How much in total, when did you start repaying it, and how much is left?”

“I’ll check the record,” Wei Yin said, taking out her phone. “The total debt was 400,000. I’ve already repaid 320,000; 80,000 is still left.”

“You’ve worked for four years and repaid 320,000,” Hua Yu’s voice trembled. “You don’t eat or drink?”

“The nanny salary was pretty good. I could make over ten thousand a month,” Wei Yin said, scratching her head bashfully. “And I didn’t need to take leave. On New Year’s, Lantern Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, and stuff like that, I got overtime pay too. Food and lodging didn’t cost much either; little by little, I saved it up.”

“When did you take on the debt?” Hua Yu’s speech sped up to the point of sounding aggressive. “What’s the other person’s account name?”

Wei Yin simply handed Hua Yu the banking app screen. “This person. I started repaying it the year I graduated; it was during the autumn recruitment season.”

The screen showed the other party was a man with the surname Yang; it wasn’t Yu Tiantian.

But Hua Yu’s suspicion and doubt did not fade with that. Instead, they grew stronger.

Wei Yin was not the kind of person who lived beyond her means. Almost everyone she knew was a student. In Hua Yu’s impression, the only person who could have taken out that much money for Wei Yin all at once was Yu Tiantian.

Besides, Wei Yin’s mother’s ashes had not originally been in the cemetery.

Hua Yu had heard Wei Yin mention it before: she had no money on hand, so she could only keep her mother’s ashes at the crematorium. Later, when the crematorium that stored the ashes was going to shut down, Wei Yin had only moved her mother’s ashes into the cemetery after she went to university.

“Give me this person’s bank account number.” Hua Yu’s voice was so cold it seemed to drip ice.

Wei Yin put away her phone. “No.”

Hua Yu looked at her sharply, the chill in her eyes not yet fully hidden.

Wei Yin jumped at her gaze and took half a step back. “…Dr. Hua?”

Hua Yu closed her eyes. Her voice was a little hoarse. “Sorry, I just… think you’ve had a very hard time.”

“It’s fine, really. Everyone works hard,” Wei Yin said. She had never felt sorry for herself over this. “I’m pretty great, being able to save up that much money.”

Even though it had all been transferred to someone else, that had been her debt; it was for buying her mother a place to rest forever. Wei Yin didn’t think she had lost out at all.

That cemetery had excellent feng shui. Wei Yin hadn’t been able to give her mother a good home while she was alive, but at least she could give her a good place after death.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Wei Yin lifted her face, a little proud. “I don’t need you to help me pay it back. Besides, I’ll clear it soon enough. Once it’s paid off, everything I earn will be mine.”

Hua Yu had been watching her the whole time; from her bright, happy eyes to her lean jawline, then to the pajamas she had worn for so long they were frayed and faded. The monstrous hatred in her heart was almost impossible to suppress.

How could anyone be so cruel as to push Wei Yin into a life like this?

Of course Wei Yin would be willing to borrow money to buy her mother a cemetery. Never mind 400,000; if at the time only that one cemetery could solve the urgent problem, Wei Yin could have borrowed 800,000.

What kind of person was she, what were her weak points, and how far would she go for the dead? Anyone even slightly familiar with her would know.

If it were Hua Yu, even if she couldn’t secretly pay for Wei Yin, she would still, like back then in the hospital, use a kind lie to get through it.

And stepping back again, if a kind lie didn’t work, she could always find another crematorium that wouldn’t shut down in the short term and store the ashes there again.

Even if the dead had to be laid to rest in the earth, Q City was so large; was she really afraid she couldn’t find an affordable cemetery plot?

What kind of disgusting intentions did that person have, to make Wei Yin shoulder such a huge debt before she had even graduated!

No wonder; no wonder she had to work as a nanny. Good pay, food and lodging included, and long-term sacrifice of her emotional labor, private space, and personal time in exchange for compensation; in the blink of an eye, it all went into that account, not even leaving money for annual physical exams.

Hua Yu’s knuckles on the door handle made a faint, strained cracking sound from the force she was using.

Wei Yin wasn’t sure what had happened, but she could tell Hua Yu was in a bad mood. Thinking she had done something wrong again, she tried to explain, “I’ll really take good care of myself in the future. I wasn’t doing the last hospitalization on purpose…”

“Your reunion,” Hua Yu suddenly interrupted. A layer of blood-red color spread in her eyes as she said in a low voice, “can you bring a family member?”