Taking Issue

For two full minutes, no one said a word.

Li Lan had never felt two minutes stretch this long.

Zhu Qing was far sharper than she’d expected; or rather, her understanding of Zhu Qing had still been incomplete.

That made sense, too. Li Lan let out a bitter little smile. Zhu Qing had grown up without parents to look after her, on her own. Though she had good friends and always found help when things got hard, that still didn’t change the fact that she had walked through life alone.

“I’m not trying to disrespect you, and I’m not mistrusting you either,” Li Lan said slowly, enunciating every word with sincerity and apology. “I just didn’t expect you to be this upset.”

Zhu Qing gave a cold laugh. “Don’t tell me you hid it from me because you didn’t want to make me sad. That’s just turning things around to fool me.”

Li Lan wanted to say she would never fool her; she opened her mouth, but no rebuttal came out.

Only Zhu Qing’s quick breathing remained in the room. Their argument hadn’t disturbed anything outside; in this small world, there were only the two of them.

At a time like this, confessing things that were hard to say aloud somehow didn’t seem so difficult anymore.

“You don’t like Yang Huayi.”

Li Lan suddenly changed the subject. It took Zhu Qing two seconds to react, and then she finally remembered who Yang Huayi was.

“When I first returned to the country, Yang Huayi kept interfering with my career. You and I had just gotten married, right in the honeymoon phase. At first you were jealous; later, you realized Yang Huayi didn’t actually like me, but was using me to achieve some of her own goals. You were angry and disgusted, and afraid I’d get hurt, so you often followed me to and from work, to the crew, the set, the outdoor shoots; you did your best to stay by my side.”

Zhu Qing was a little surprised. No matter how many times she’d asked, Li Lan had refused to talk about the past; why bring it up now?

She didn’t interrupt, only listened quietly.

Li Lan gathered her thoughts. “Later, you followed me onto a drama set. The director was a useless idiot; the producer, stage manager, and assistant director were all there because of connections. You saw the assistant director trick one of the supporting actresses on set into a room to do something improper. You rushed over to stop them, and they both turned around and framed you instead.”

“There were quite a few incidents like that. You were also harassed once by someone who didn’t know any better. I arrived in time, and after he realized you were mine, he apologized and left immediately. After he was gone, I apologized to you, but you looked at me and said… you thought it was disgusting. That kind of cleanliness that only comes from privilege disgusted you.”

“You gradually started hating the environment around me, and distancing yourself from the people by my side,” Li Lan paused there. “You even pointed at Qian Chu and cursed her out, saying that at such a young age she was vain and snobbish, and utterly disgraceful.”

Zhu Qing frowned slightly. She wasn’t familiar with this particular memory, but the pattern did seem like something she might have done.

“You were very pure, with the black-and-white clarity of a newborn calf,” Li Lan said with a wry smile. “I loved that side of you to death, and I never wanted to explain any of it to you or make you understand, make you compromise.”

Zhu Qing listened in silence, something shifting faintly in her chest.

Li Lan lowered her voice. “But in the end, you still chose to leave.”

Zhu Qing’s breathing caught.

“I’m sorry,” Li Lan said softly. “I was afraid of losing you. What you hated, I didn’t want you to see. But I’m sorry; I still let you see it, and in such a hurtful way.”

“No matter what my purpose was, making you sad was never my intention.”

“Xiao Qing, I’m sorry.”

Zhu Qing’s shoulders eased by a fraction. She stared at Li Lan, as if judging the truth of her words.

Reason and the facts Zhu Qing had gathered couldn’t tell her whether Li Lan was telling the truth, but for some reason, she just believed her.

Those things Li Lan had refused to say aloud in the past would absolutely not be used as lies.

“You think I hate it when people scheme against you, and you don’t want me to see it; that all sounds very nice, like some sweet line,” Zhu Qing shook her head. “But it depends on the situation. You were going to gun down a lion, not deal with some setup, some malicious editing, some guided online hate storm; how could you, how could you just push me aside like that when it concerned your safety?”

Keeping her head clear and her thoughts steady, Zhu Qing pressed her objection. “Why, exactly, didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t dare.”

Zhu Qing froze.

“I was afraid you’d hate it; hate this environment, hate the people in it… hate me,” Li Lan’s voice was rough. She looked straight at Zhu Qing. “Since I was little, I’ve handled all the important things on my own. You think shooting a lion is dangerous, but you don’t know how many times I’ve brushed past bullets overseas. I didn’t think it was some huge deal. I didn’t care. What I cared about was only how you felt. I just… didn’t want you to leave. Even if this only increased your disgust a little, even if it only increased the chance you’d leave a little, I still didn’t dare.”

Zhu Qing’s fingers curled tight. Her chest felt blocked. “But… I’m your lover.”

“I know,” Li Lan said. “But the habit runs too deep. Just like the way you questioned me, I didn’t even realize I was doing it; I instinctively decided I couldn’t tell you, couldn’t let you be put in danger, couldn’t let you know.”

She looked at Zhu Qing, and at last true vulnerability surfaced in her eyes. “I wasn’t ignoring your feelings, Xiao Qing. I was not trusting… myself.”

“I knew that if I told you, you would stop me, and I would waver,” Li Lan’s fingers absentmindedly tugged at the edge of the bandage. “I’m used to making decisions alone. Only then do I not become weak.”

It felt as if Zhu Qing’s heart had been seized hard in a fist.

She understood Li Lan’s thinking now.

Li Lan wasn’t overbearing; she wasn’t a chauvinist, and she certainly wasn’t treating Zhu Qing like an outsider while only trying to sweet-talk and deceive her. She was just too afraid to take risks because she cared too much; and because of her past, she was used to carrying everything alone, to the point that she had forgotten how to rely on anyone else.

Including herself.

Zhu Qing drew a deep breath and stepped forward, lifting Li Lan’s face in both hands.

Now that she looked closer, Li Lan’s makeup had already smudged, revealing skin even paler than the foundation beneath; and beneath her eyes lay a faint wash of blue.

Her cheeks under Zhu Qing’s hands were gaunt and cold, and Zhu Qing’s heart ached in threadlike waves.

“Li Lan, do you know who I am?” Zhu Qing took Li Lan’s hand and pressed it to her own chest. “I’m your wife, the most important person to you in the legal sense. I can make any important decision for you. You think cutting me out makes it easier for you to face danger and protect our relationship better, but did you ever ask me what I thought?”

Li Lan opened her mouth to apologize. “I—”

Zhu Qing lifted a finger and pressed it against her lips. “I’m not going to bring up what happened before, but I need your promise.”

The touch of her fingertip on Li Lan’s mouth was vivid and clear. Li Lan nodded in that position, her gaze bright. “Go on.”

“I care,” Zhu Qing said. “I care about you.”

“Anything you’re involved in, I want to know about.”

“Anything that can put you in danger, I want to face it with you.”

“I want to stand beside you, not behind you; I need you to promise me that no matter when it is, you’ll remember what I said today.”

Li Lan didn’t hesitate at all. “Okay.”

Zhu Qing added, “Otherwise I really will leave.”

Li Lan took her finger in return and looked down. “I won’t let you leave again.”

Only then did Zhu Qing finally smile. “Then that depends on how you behave.”

Li Lan squeezed her finger. “In short, I won’t let you go.”

Zhu Qing looked at her right hand, which was wrapped in bandages, and asked with concern, “Does it hurt?”

Li Lan said, “Just a little skin torn.”

Zhu Qing wanted to touch it but didn’t dare. “Whoever hurt you is finished. I’m not done with them either.”

Just as Li Lan was about to speak, there was a knock at the door.

The two had finally made up after their spat; the atmosphere had just begun to improve, and then a bunch of people came along to stir things up.

“Teacher Li, the other guests from the production team are here to see you.”

Zhu Qing hurriedly wiped her face; Li Lan handed her a tissue.

“Is my face smeared?” Zhu Qing asked. “And my clothes—anything wrong?”

Li Lan calmly wiped her own face. “You didn’t wear makeup today.”

“I mean I cried,” Zhu Qing said anxiously. “Are my eyes red? Will it show?”

Li Lan looked at her for two seconds, then answered truthfully, “About like a rabbit.”

Zhu Qing: …

Li Lan fought back a smile. “It’s fine. You look good. Don’t be embarrassed.”

The guests came in one after another, followed by the production team’s director and other leaders.

Unlike the tense, solemn atmosphere when the accident had just happened, these people all knew Li Lan was all right and visibly relaxed. The production staff in particular all looked as though a huge weight had been lifted from their shoulders.

“You’re amazing,” Hu Xu’s booming voice rang out the moment she walked in. “That lion weighed 231 kilograms after it was measured; it was the biggest one in that area.”

Li Lan raised her right hand; the bandaged forearm could still be seen trembling slightly. “The recoil nearly dislocated my shoulder.”

Zhu Qing stared. “When did you dislocate it?”

Unlike before, Li Lan didn’t wave it off so lightly. Instead, she turned toward Zhu Qing and complained softly, “After the shot. I popped it back in myself.”

Zhu Qing went pale again. “Did you tell the doctor?”

Li Lan said with a smile, “I did. It’s fine.”

“The gun in the car was a bolt-action rifle, large-caliber, probably just under five or around there,” Li Lan said as if reciting the contents of a catalog. “I hadn’t trained for a long time either; without a recoil pad, the kick slammed my shoulder out.”

Sun Qi had once filmed a war drama and knew a thing or two about firearms. Hearing that Li Lan had used a large-caliber rifle, he was stunned. “No wonder the lion died so fast. That kind of gun shakes even in a man’s hands, and you actually fired three shots in a row.”

Li Lan corrected him, “It still takes technique, and I didn’t fire them in a row. I paused for a few seconds before firing the other two. I dislocated it right after I finished…”

“Do you even weigh fifty kilos?” Sun Qi asked.

Xu Yuzhi slapped him hard and said angrily, “Why are you asking that? Can’t you see she’s injured? Xiao Lan, are you all right? We were all really worried about you; were you scared?”

Finally, a normal person had arrived. Zhu Qing shot her a grateful look.

Li Lan smiled. “It’s okay. I’m fine, and I wasn’t scared. Also, I do weigh fifty kilos.”

Xu Yuzhi blinked. “What? You weigh fifty kilos?”

Hu Xu laughed. “With that height, of course she does. She’s probably even taller than Sun Qi.”

Sun Qi thought about it. “Not sure about that…” His tone lacked confidence.

Zhu Qing said, “Teacher Li isn’t 180 centimeters. Her proportions are just good, so she looks very tall.”

Li Lan raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Xu Yuzhi shot Sun Qi a slightly embarrassed look. “You should lose weight. She weighs fifty kilos; you weigh eighty.”

Sun Qi sighed. “Middle age, what can you do.”

Everyone laughed.

Zhu Qing caught sight of the two people standing behind the crowd, and her smile paused. She suddenly said, “Are the two teachers back there also here to visit?”

Following Zhu Qing’s line of sight, the others turned around. Yu Ling and Qi Yao had somehow come over too, standing by the door and looking this way.

Zhu Qing pushed past the others and walked straight up to Qi Yao. She lifted a finger and pointed at him, then turned to ask the production team expressionlessly, “Why is this trash still allowed to be here?”

Trash?

Everyone exchanged glances.

Zhu Qing had always had a good temper; she didn’t lose her composure with others and had never slapped anyone in public. She was usually so proper and gentle, but now she was tearing the façade apart directly.

Li Lan knew very well that Zhu Qing was here to settle accounts, but she had picked the wrong person. Softening her voice, she called, “Xiao Qing, come back.”

Zhu Qing ignored her completely. Her finger was nearly poking Qi Yao’s nose as she said, each word cold as ice, “Don’t think I don’t know what you did. It’s bad enough that you pushed me, but you still dared to make a move on Li Lan too? You think we’re all blind? Trash like you who only hurts people with despicable tricks—what gives you the right to keep jumping around until now?”

The whole room went dead silent. Everyone was stunned by this sudden turn of events.

————————

Zhu Qing: Wait until I beat Qi Yao up to vent my anger!

Li Lan: …Come back. You’re beating up the wrong person.