Unforgiving

Li Lan thought back to the argument she’d had with Zhu Qing. It was probably for the same reason.

A few months earlier.

“You have to believe me. Yang Huayi really didn’t mean to do anything to me; even if she did, that’d be her business, not mine!”

Li Lan pounded anxiously on the door, repeating herself over and over. “Xiaoqing, calm down. Let’s talk this through.”

From inside, Zhu Qing gave no response.

Li Lan said, “The person looking for you was only unwilling to let it go because her resources were stolen. But I didn’t steal her resources. I didn’t do anything.”

“Xiaoqing, be reasonable. Come out and let’s talk, okay?”

It took a long time before the door opened a crack. Zhu Qing stepped out looking haggard, staring at Li Lan in a daze.

“What else do you have to say?”

Li Lan let out a sigh of relief. She took Zhu Qing’s hand and led her to the sofa. Just as she was about to explain, Zhu Qing said softly, “I don’t want to hear it anymore.”

Li Lan’s breath caught. “Xiaoqing…”

“Weren’t the two of us always in a contract marriage?” Zhu Qing said dazedly. “You needed a wife to prove your LGBT identity. You needed a lover to get away from Yang Huayi’s harassment. That person had to be obedient, sensible, easy to control, and if possible, a little younger, so she’d be more fun to play with. Weren’t those all things you said yourself?”

Li Lan was so shocked she could hardly breathe.

“How could you think that? Where did you hear that?”

“Yang Huayi doesn’t like me. What does my marriage have to do with her?”

Zhu Qing looked at her quietly. “I can believe that much. But what about the rest? Haven’t you ever said those things to other people? That I’m obedient, sensible, easy to control, and very fun.”

Li Lan was about to flatly deny it when a memory suddenly flashed through her mind.

Not long after she and Zhu Qing met again, there had been someone who kept pestering her. It seemed she had once said something similar while rejecting that person.

That woman had followed her all the way to the set. Li Lan had refused again and again, her words leaving no room for retreat, but the other party still wouldn’t give up; she sent flowers, sent gifts, picked her up at the airport, waited at the set, and had even gotten to her hotel several times. She was the wealthiest stalker Li Lan had ever seen.

“You say you like women, so why can’t you like me? Are you actually straight? Are you just using being a lesbian to cash in on the trend? Otherwise, why don’t you like me?”

Li Lan had been leaning to the side, irritated by the relentless pestering. “Because I’m a woman with strong opinions. What I need is an obedient lover who’ll devote herself to supporting my career, put me first, do as I say, come when I call and leave when I dismiss her, let me play with her as I please, and preferably…”

She had sized up the woman in front of her, a rich girl dressed up like a little princess, though not much younger than herself. Then she said meaningfully, “I want eighteen. Younger. More fun, you understand?”

Her words had been merciless. She even stepped closer to threaten her. “With your background, you should go find some beautiful woman with no backing and keep her around to play with. I’m already this rich; why would I marry you home and spoil you like a princess?”

The other party had never imagined that the star she liked would be this kind of person in private. Shocked and unable to accept it, she had run off crying.

Only then had Li Lan shaken off her harassment and gone back to work.

In that instant, Li Lan remembered the scene and realized something was wrong. What did those words have to do with Zhu Qing? “No, I never thought that about you. Those were just things I said to reject someone else. They weren’t true…”

“Li Lan,” Zhu Qing said, exhaustion etched deep into her face, as if all her energy and vitality had been worn away by a long wait and countless disappointments, “I want to be alone for a while. Don’t come looking for me, and don’t contact me.”

With that, Zhu Qing pulled Li Lan’s hand away and went back to the bedroom alone.

Li Lan’s mind was in complete disarray. She didn’t know why Zhu Qing had suddenly changed her attitude. She didn’t answer calls or reply to WeChat messages. Li Lan had finished filming her scenes overnight and flown back home, only to stop Zhu Qing in front of her and receive those few lines in return.

Zhu Qing had questioned whether she had stolen other people’s resources, looked at her in disappointment, and asked, “What exactly do you take me for?”

There had to be some misunderstanding here.

Li Lan shoved both hands into her hair hard enough to make her scalp sting. How could Zhu Qing have such thoughts? What did she take Zhu Qing for… What exactly did she take Zhu Qing for?

—

“Li Lan!”

Snapping back to the present, Zhu Qing in her arms let out an indignant protest. “I’m about to suffocate.”

Only then did Li Lan realize she’d been holding the back of Zhu Qing’s head, almost smothering her.

She quickly let go, embarrassed. “Uh, I got a little distracted.”

Zhu Qing blinked. “Because I said I was scared?”

Li Lan seemed a little off, like she had a lot on her mind. Zhu Qing went over and poured her a glass of water. “Drink some water first.”

Li Lan took it and drank a big gulp. The cool liquid eased the dryness in her throat for the moment. After a quiet beat, she crouched down so her eyes were level with Zhu Qing’s, placed a hand on Zhu Qing’s knee, and gently kneaded it as she said warmly, “Not entirely.”

“Xiaoqing, I have a question. I hope you’ll answer honestly.”

Rarely seeing Li Lan this serious, Zhu Qing sat up straight. “Go ahead.”

Li Lan lowered her eyes. “I took you to find Qi Yao. In essence, I was putting on an act; it was to present us better in front of the camera, and it also let us step on Yu Ling by the way.”

“I didn’t push Qi Yao out. He pushed you, but suffered no punishment and still got to benefit from the public backlash. And I went to find him in order to ride the buzz, without drawing a line between us. Does that bother you?”

Zhu Qing fell silent, not speaking for a long time.

Li Lan repeated softly, “Does it bother you?”

After a moment, Zhu Qing only gave a light laugh and shook her head. “It’s fine. If you hadn’t gone to look for him, Xu Yuzhi and Sun Qi wouldn’t have moved either. The audience would definitely have gone after the production team, gone after you, gone after anyone who didn’t care about Qi Yao. Qi Yao… he’s a bad person. Using his popularity is taking advantage of him, and taking advantage of someone also counts as revenge. I’m not angry. I’m just a little put off by him.”

“As for Yu Ling,” Zhu Qing paused, “that has nothing to do with us. She’s irrelevant. Whatever you want to do, of course I’ll support you.”

A flicker of emotion flashed through Li Lan’s eyes. “You wouldn’t think I stole someone else’s resources, that I can’t tell right from wrong, that I’m stepping on others to climb up?”

“No. In fact, even if none of this had happened, if Qi Yao or someone else had gone missing, you still would have gone looking for them,” Zhu Qing said softly, but with conviction. “It’s only because he’s been causing so much trouble and hurting me that your kindness would come with hesitation, maybe even be withdrawn. But from start to finish, we didn’t do anything wrong.”

Li Lan was silent for several seconds. At last she answered with a quiet “Mm,” and pulled Zhu Qing up.

“I’m very glad you support me,” Li Lan said, deeply moved; her heart felt warm and soothed. “I’ll protect you too. You have to believe me, okay?”

Before Zhu Qing could answer, Li Lan stressed it again. “Don’t listen to what other people say. You have to believe me; believe me at any time, okay?”

Zhu Qing touched Li Lan’s arm. She could tell Li Lan was a little sad, and a little anxious, so she smiled seriously and comforted her. “Mm, I believe you.”

Li Lan squeezed Zhu Qing’s hand, and some part of her heart seemed to soften all at once. No matter what, she couldn’t love her enough.

Zhu Qing’s palm was a little ticklish. She couldn’t help saying, “Is my hand that fun?”

Li Lan had been acting on instinct. Once Zhu Qing pointed it out, she started kneading it seriously. She pressed each of Zhu Qing’s fingers one by one, as if playing with a little toy, growing more and more reluctant to let go. “It is fun. Were you practicing rock climbing when you were little?”

Zhu Qing smiled with her eyes. “Why would you ask that?”

Li Lan said without changing expression, “Look at the bones you’ve worn out. Even your joints are a little twisted.”

Zhu Qing: …

“You’re really good at ruining the mood,” Zhu Qing said, yanking her hand back hard and even smacking the back of Li Lan’s hand once. “Your fingers are soft; no matter how much you abuse them, they won’t deform. If you’re so capable, do it yourself.”

When she was little, Zhu Qing really did love playing around, especially with someone as hyperactive as Qian Cancan; the two of them often climbed around on fake rockeries and such.

But everyone’s genes were different. Qian Cancan’s fingers didn’t deform and were still long and slender. Zhu Qing’s fingers weren’t exactly short, but because of the way she exerted force, the joints did feel a bit more pronounced when touched.

Li Lan, on the other hand, had soft bones, with slender, long fingers that were also very straight.

Li Lan’s mood improved before she could help it. “That’s what you said.”

Zhu Qing looked baffled. “What did I say?”

Li Lan only smiled and said nothing. Zhu Qing snatched the cup beside her away. “You’re really strange. You’re not allowed to use my cup anymore.”

Li Lan said, “This cup still has to be divided into yours and mine? I’ve already drunk from it.”

Zhu Qing said unhappily, “Of course it has to be divided. The colors are different. You like tea; I like sparkling water. Don’t keep mixing them up.”

Li Lan curved her lips in a faint smile; her features were open and elegant, her lazy posture utterly alluring. “Really not allowed?”

Zhu Qing glanced at her, then quickly lowered her gaze and licked her lips.

Her cheeks were a little hot. “…It’s okay if we mix them up once in a while.”

Li Lan let out a low laugh.

Zhu Qing’s face went even redder. Embarrassed and annoyed, she said, “Enough. There are only three days left before the variety show finishes filming.”

Li Lan dragged out an “Oh?” “So what?”

Zhu Qing raised her voice. “Once it’s done, you’ll agree to me. That’s what you said!”

Li Lan chuckled. “I said I’d give you an answer. I didn’t necessarily say I’d agree.”

Zhu Qing replied with a vicious, cold laugh.

“Then you can try.”

Li Lan pretended to be exaggeratedly impressed. “Wow, so cool.”

Zhu Qing knew this woman was teasing her and couldn’t be bothered to respond. She turned around and played on her phone instead.

“Anyway… just you wait.”

Not long after saying that, she held her phone up in front of Li Lan.

Countdown: 3 days, 16 hours.

—

The argument between the production team and Yu Ling lasted a long time.

“Qi Yao himself refused to have anyone follow him. Why didn’t you cut the footage of him telling the staff to leave?” Yu Ling’s voice was already hoarse from shouting. “The moment the camera shifted, it landed on me, and suddenly I had a bunch of people around me, making it look like I was the one who took everyone away?! What do you mean by this!”

The director looked at her coldly. “We’re helpless too. The previous episodes already gave you enough preferential treatment. The fact that Qi Yao couldn’t be found is the truth, and the fact that the people all followed you is also the truth.”

Yu Ling laughed in rage. “The previous episodes? The previous episodes were you taking care of Qi Yao, weren’t they? How did he suddenly become the victim and I the one cashing in on the hype? If you’ve got the guts, then don’t cut his diva moments!”

The director said impatiently, “We also cooperated with building your persona. Weren’t those treasure chests and questions all given to you in advance? A person should know when to be satisfied.”

The production team was annoyed too. The tug-of-war between these two always dragged other people down with it. On Qi Yao’s side, MeiYu Media had already put in a word, so the production team tried its best to delete Qi Yao’s bad shots. On Yu Ling’s side, someone from Heguang Tongchen was watching, so the production team also cooperated by feeding her answers in advance to build her up as a clever, sunny little angel.

Qi Yao really was a bastard, deliberately going missing during filming to stir up a trending topic and dragging everyone into it. But Yu Ling was absolutely not innocent either.

The production team was suffocating with frustration. “We’ve already done enough. If you want to find someone, go find the rival team, go find the netizens. Don’t come looking for us.”

Yu Ling’s eyes were bloodshot. She couldn’t believe the heat she had finally won would disappear like this.

She didn’t even dare open Weibo now; the place was packed with abuse aimed at her. The people who had been praising her just a few days ago had turned around and used the most vicious words to curse her. Yu Ling was terrified.

She stumbled back to the tent and frantically called Yang Huayi.

Yang Huayi was late picking up.

“Boss Yang, about the trending topic…”

Yang Huayi cut her off. “Calm down. Netizens are just worked up for the moment. It’ll be fine once this passes.”

Yu Ling couldn’t believe it. “How could that be? Boss Yang, have you arranged some other plan to whitewash me? Or another way to clear things up for me, or blacken Qi Yao’s name?”

Yang Huayi was probably busy; her tone carried a faint impatience. “There’s nothing to clarify. After the variety show is finished filming, Qi Yao won’t keep getting sympathy forever.”

Yu Ling was on the verge of breaking down. “But the netizens already think I have bad character. They’re saying I’m a green tea bitch, that I’m manipulative. Wherever I go, people will hate me. Boss Yang, can you come here? I really can’t take it…”

Yang Huayi cut her off again. “Calm down. I’m dealing with your endorsements right now; I don’t have time to comfort you. I’ll say this one last time: temporary public opinion doesn’t matter, especially when this is all just hearsay with no solid proof. Stay put and stop causing trouble for the production team.”

Yang Huayi said nothing more and hung up directly.

Yu Ling felt as though she had fallen into an ice cavern.

What did it mean that they were “dealing with her endorsements” right now?

This matter had affected her endorsements?!

The endorsement she had finally wrestled away was just gone like that!

What about Li Lan? Did Li Lan still have her endorsement?

If her endorsement was gone, would it go to Li Lan?

Right, Li Lan. Li Lan hadn’t been cursed at at all; the whole internet was praising her. She obviously knew she should have gone to find Qi Yao, yet she didn’t tell Yu Ling directly. If it had been her who found Qi Yao yesterday, the audience definitely wouldn’t still be insulting her. They might even have kept shipping the two of them… right, Li Lan, it was Li Lan!

A flash of crazed jealousy passed through Yu Ling’s eyes. She let out a silent, furious howl, her face twisted with malice, and smashed her phone hard onto the ground.

Li Lan, you really are here to steal mine. You really are!

The tent flap was lifted. Yu Ling looked up; her pupils shrank suddenly. “Qi Yao! You still dare come here!”

A trace of discomfort flashed across Qi Yao’s face. Yu Ling had just finished arguing with the production team, and he had heard all the things she said about him.

“I came to check on you. Boss Qi said to tell you not to worry.”

“Boss Qi? Your auntie who’s over forty and still has some charm left? Or your aunt? Your cousin?” Yu Ling spat. “I spit on that. You’re all playing a beautiful hand. Now you come here putting on a fake show—what the hell are you pretending to be?”

Qi Yao was stunned. He hadn’t expected the fairy-like Yu Ling to be this foul-mouthed.

His temper wasn’t good either. Frowning, he said, “Watch your mouth. Your Boss Yang is over forty too, and this is a variety show where everyone competes on their own merits. You look really ugly right now, acting like you can’t afford to lose.”

Yu Ling grabbed whatever she could reach and hurled it at him. “You really planned this thoroughly, didn’t you? You wanted to go missing, wanted sympathy, fine. Why didn’t you tell me in advance and let me come find you!”

Qi Yao got splashed all over with water. “How was I supposed to know you wouldn’t come looking for me? I even told my assistant to tell you first that I was missing. But you? You kept looking for clues. Otherwise why would Li Lan and the others have been the first to find me!”

Li Lan, Li Lan again, always Li Lan. Yu Ling lifted her bloodshot eyes and pointed outside. “Get out.”

Qi Yao left in anger. “Unreasonable!”

Watching his back, Yu Ling’s expression grew darker and darker.

—

The variety show didn’t start filming normally again until the afternoon.

However, the footage from yesterday still hadn’t been fully released, so today’s shoot wasn’t urgent either.

[Today’s originally planned itinerary was to watch the carnivores, but because the plan changed, that has been moved to tomorrow]

[This afternoon, please use the funds provided by the production team to purchase items in downtown Nairobi that reflect the local customs and culture. The production team will not be responsible for tonight’s dinner. After returning to camp tonight, points will be tallied; the losing group will receive the “eat bugs” punishment]

After receiving their task cards, everyone came out of their tents.

Li Lan and Zhu Qing were already dressed and prepared to head into downtown Nairobi right away.

Just as they were about to leave, Yu Ling’s voice came from behind them.

“Teacher Li, Zhu Qing, where are you going?”

Yu Ling had changed into a light sports outfit and came out of the tent right after Qi Yao.

Zhu Qing’s gaze landed on Yu Ling’s face. She had heard the other woman’s curses with her own ears, but now there was no trace of it on that face at all.

Yu Ling smiled brightly. “Qi Yao and I are planning to go take a look at the Maasai Market first. Want to come with us?”

Li Lan looked at her for two seconds, then replied with polite distance, “No. We’re planning to go to the museum first.”

“Alright then.” Yu Ling took her bag from Qi Yao’s hand and smiled at him affectionately. “I already said Teacher Li definitely wanted to go shopping with Zhu Qing alone, and you still made me ask.”

Li Lan, who had just been about to leave, paused slightly.

Qi Yao, who had been silent the whole time, scratched his head and said with a smile, “I didn’t get a chance to thank you yet, Teacher Li. Sorry for making the two of you look for me for so long yesterday.”

Li Lan nodded at him. “It was nothing. No need to thank us.”

Yu Ling tilted her head, smiling innocently. “Teacher Li has always cared about all of us, hasn’t she? Otherwise how could she have found Qi Yao so quickly? I still wasn’t considerate enough in that regard. I need to learn more from Teacher Li about how to take care of everyone.”

Li Lan’s brows knit almost imperceptibly.

Qi Yao said, “You want to follow Teacher Li? Then why don’t we go to the museum too?”

Zhu Qing suddenly grabbed Li Lan’s hand and complained, “The sun is too harsh out here. Why don’t the four of us go discuss it back in the tent first?”

Li Lan squeezed her hand back and nodded at Yu Ling and Qi Yao. “The Maasai Market is crowded and full of all kinds of people; make sure you keep your belongings safe. Xiaoqing and I will go ahead. See you tonight.”

With that, Li Lan gave them no chance to speak and turned to leave.

After getting into the car, Zhu Qing thought of what Yu Ling had just said and found it strange.

“Was she… being sarcastic toward you?”

Li Lan thought for a moment, then said uncertainly, “Not sure. She didn’t talk like this before.”

Zhu Qing rubbed the goosebumps on her arm. “Ugh, weird. Forget it. There are only three days left, so let’s hurry up and finish filming and get out.”

Noticing Zhu Qing’s movement, Li Lan’s expression softened. Smiling, she said, “Your countdown isn’t precise to the hour anymore?”

Zhu Qing glanced at the driver. Seeing that he wasn’t paying attention to them, she slowly tightened the hand resting on Li Lan’s thigh, but then she seemed to remember something. She quickly looked at the camera in the car, coughed, and lowered her voice in a muffled mutter. “I won’t let you off then.”

Li Lan put on an entirely serious face and also lowered her voice, her tone carrying obvious provocation, along with a little affection she couldn’t quite suppress.

“Then… that’s not necessarily true.”

————————

Zhu Qing imagined the future: Hmph, I’m going to do this and that to you, then this and that again. I absolutely won’t let you off.

Li Lan replied indifferently: Fine, I’ve remembered it all.

Zhu Qing: ???