Looks

Zhu Qing almost blurted out, “How do you know?”

Li Lan seemed to guess what she was about to say and silently turned away. “Hip measurements don’t need to be that exact.”

Zhu Qing thought it over and decided that made sense. She wasn’t going to wear anything tight or clinging anyway; besides, clothes had some stretch. Being off by a centimeter or two didn’t matter.

“Then I’ll wait for the new clothes.”

After saying that, Zhu Qing swept her hair back. Her permed hair was silky smooth, and she asked hopefully, “Now that the clothes are settled, do I need to change my look too? Like cut my hair, perm it, and dye it?”

Li Lan answered at once, without the slightest hesitation. “No.”

“But the stylist said my skin is fair, so I’d suit a lighter color.” Zhu Qing pulled up the photo the stylist had sent her on her phone and showed it to Li Lan. “Light gold hair. It looks really good.”

Li Lan didn’t even lower her head. She just lifted her eyelids a little and glanced at it with cool detachment. “Mm. It does look good.”

Encouraged, Zhu Qing said, “You think so too? Then I’m going to dye it!”

Li Lan said again, “Unless you want to go bald.”

Zhu Qing: …

“Dyeing damages your hair?”

“If you’re doing it for looks, you’d need to touch up the roots every two or three months. Keep that up a few times and your hair will break off completely.”

Li Lan reached out and pinched a lock of Zhu Qing’s hair, rubbing it lightly between her fingers. Zhu Qing’s hair was actually soft, thick, and black. In the first couple of days after washing, it shone beautifully, but once it lost moisture it tended to tangle, especially at the ends, which dried out and split easily and needed frequent washing and care. In short, it was a head of hair that was fussy but beautiful.

“Are you feeling insecure about your looks?” Li Lan asked after a long silence, finally reaching a conclusion from all of Zhu Qing’s unusual behavior.

The more she thought about it, the more likely it seemed.

Since losing her memory, Zhu Qing had praised herself for being pretty more than once. At first Li Lan had only thought she was being vain, but now that she looked back on it, maybe her presence had put pressure on Zhu Qing.

“I perm my hair and dye it, diet and work out, stay up late working, obsess over my face and figure,” Li Lan said sternly, her expression serious. “That’s because my profession requires it. You don’t need to do that. You can even treat me as a counterexample; don’t let me influence you.”

Zhu Qing said, “Wanting to look good is human nature.”

“The woman in that photo is a top-tier celebrity. Her annual income is more than ten times mine,” Li Lan said. “Celebrities trade their physical health for high pay. All you need to do is look at and appreciate them. They’re pretty so they can make money and satisfy fans’ and audiences’ aesthetic standards. If you chase that too, you’ll only hurt your own body.”

Zhu Qing fell silent.

Li Lan had gone on at length. Seeing Zhu Qing quiet, she worried she’d said too much and made her unhappy, so she added softly, “Of course, if you’re set on dyeing it, then go ahead and dye it. I’m not criticizing you. I just hope the things you pursue are things you genuinely like from the heart, not things influenced by someone else’s selfish interests.”

Zhu Qing stared at Li Lan without blinking.

After meeting those dark, round, obsidian-like eyes for a moment, Li Lan turned her head away and said quietly, “For example, that stylist. He just wants to make money; your black hair is clearly very pretty…”

“Hahahaha—”

Zhu Qing burst into a string of delighted laughter.

Li Lan: …

Zhu Qing had been holding it in ever since Li Lan started talking about “appearance anxiety.” She’d been suppressing it so hard that her stomach hurt, and now that she started laughing, it hurt even more.

She clutched her side and collapsed onto the sofa, snatching up a pillow to wipe the tears of laughter from her cheeks. “Okay, Teacher Li, between the two of us, you being pretty is enough. I definitely won’t get a perm.”

Li Lan was just too funny. Zhu Qing had been worrying about how to transform herself, how to make herself more attractive, how to make Li Lan like her.

Now it seemed Li Lan really didn’t care about appearance at all.

Still laughing, Zhu Qing rubbed her stomach and sighed. “No, my stomach hurts. I can’t keep laughing.”

Li Lan stood two steps away, frowning. “What exactly are you laughing at?”

Zhu Qing gasped for breath. “Nothing. I’m just really happy. Since Teacher Li says no dyeing, then I won’t dye it.”

What made her happy was that Li Lan might like her soul, not just her looks.

Li Lan still couldn’t make sense of it and didn’t understand what was so funny about what she’d said. But hearing that Zhu Qing had finally given up on dyeing her hair, she still nodded and said gently, “A perm would be best avoided too.”

Zhu Qing realized she wanted to laugh again and quickly pressed her lips together. “Teacher Li, if I’m this obedient, do I get a reward?”

Li Lan’s finely drawn brows, as delicate as snow clouds, knit slightly as if she were pondering a very difficult problem. After a pause, she asked, “...What do you want?”

Zhu Qing raised a hand. “Wait until my leg is better before we talk about it. I want to decide in advance!”

Li Lan felt that familiar headache rise again whenever she faced Zhu Qing, but in the end she could only sigh. “Fine.”

The matter of transformation came to an end. Zhu Qing felt she really couldn’t laugh anymore and hurried to sit up, changing the topic.

“Okay, enough about me,” Zhu Qing said with smiling eyes. “Let’s talk about you.”

Li Lan’s expression was indifferent. “Talk about what?”

“Talk about your daughter, Xiaobao,” Zhu Qing said. “Do you know how I used to get along with Xiaobao?”

Li Lan returned to the dining table and picked up her cup to drink tea. At Zhu Qing’s question, she paused.

“Is it hard to describe?” Zhu Qing asked softly.

Li Lan shook her head slightly, looking a little odd. “Why are you asking about this all of a sudden? What did Xiaobao say to you?”

Zhu Qing scratched at her hair, unsure where to begin.

“Xiaobao said the teacher gave her too much homework and she wants to cut some of it, but I can’t judge her progress yet, so I didn’t agree. She looked a little disappointed.” Zhu Qing tried hard to sound calm, but her voice still carried a hint of collapse. “And... she also wants to call me mom.”

Li Lan didn’t look surprised at all. She set the tea cup down lightly, the sound crisp against the table.

Zhu Qing hurried on, “I didn’t mean to take advantage of anything.”

Li Lan said calmly, “I know. You don’t have to be nervous. Xiaobao... she really clings to you. I don’t know what goes through that little head of hers all day long. The first time she ever saw you, she already wanted you to hold her.”

In a sense, Xiaobao and Zhu Qing were alike. To Li Lan, the two of them were both like equations impossible to solve, with too many variables and too little logic.

Zhu Qing found it amazing. “Xiaobao isn’t shy at all?”

“Quite the opposite,” Li Lan said lightly. “She’s slow to warm up. Even the nannies who look after her need two or three months to adjust before Xiaobao will actively speak to them.”

Then Zhu Qing really didn’t understand. Was she some kind of child magnet?

But she’d never noticed that before, over all these years. In fact, she thought she might dislike children. She’d spent so much of her childhood caring for them that she’d grown tired of it and become somewhat resistant; after leaving the daycare, she never wanted to look after children younger than herself again.

Not to mention that she was only twenty-two now, while Xiaobao was five. If Xiaobao called her mom, she’d practically hallucinate a terrifying scene where she had a childish high-school face and a huge pregnant belly.

Of course, she wasn’t saying early pregnancy was bad; she just personally couldn’t quite accept it.

“I’m guessing calling you mom has something to do with your appearance and personality and Xiaobao’s...” Li Lan said. As she spoke, it seemed she remembered something; the corners of her mouth rose almost imperceptibly. But that trace of a smile quickly faded, and a hint of loneliness flashed across her face.

Zhu Qing asked, “What?”

Li Lan shook her head. She was quiet for a long while before saying in a low voice, “Nothing. Just get along with Xiaobao however you like. You can make decisions about her affairs; you don’t need to ask me about everything. You’re the elder, and she’s your child too.”

Zhu Qing froze. Li Lan didn’t have any other reaction to Xiaobao calling her mom? And she was even telling her to just take care of Xiaobao however she wanted?

Was Li Lan just unusually relaxed about raising children, letting Xiaobao run wild? Or was she simply too trusting of Zhu Qing?

“How was I with Xiaobao before?” Zhu Qing asked, finding it strange. Could it be she’d done such a good job raising the child that even Li Lan wanted Xiaobao to recognize her as mom?

Li Lan thought back. “You just played with her. You liked taking Xiaobao out, but you weren’t very good at it. Either you’d forget to change her clothes, or you’d lose her schoolbag, or you’d tie her little braids into a pair of mushroom heads.”

Zhu Qing was both embarrassed and amused. “Then it sounds like it really is better for her to stay with the teacher.”

Li Lan agreed wholeheartedly, her tone slightly worried. “I’m not good at taking care of children either. Xiaobao’s appearance... I still can’t get used to it.”

Zhu Qing comforted her softly, “It’s okay. You just need to make money. The nanny and the teacher can take good care of Xiaobao.”

“Let’s hope so,” Li Lan said, a trace of worry passing through her brows and eyes. “I don’t have any other choice either.”

She wasn’t any better than Zhu Qing. As for Xiaobao’s existence, she was still bewildered by it, to the point of being at a complete loss.

After they finished eating, Li Lan returned to the bedroom to rest. After every stretch of intense work, she needed a long time to recover her energy.

Zhu Qing called after her and tucked a thermos of floral tea into her hands.

“It’s sweet. You said you’re prone to low blood sugar, remember?” Zhu Qing’s whole face was smiling. “Drink a cup when you wake up.”

Li Lan took the thermos and opened it. The sweet fragrance of flowers and fruit rushed out at once.

“Okay.” Li Lan’s expression softened as she gently closed the door.

Zhu Qing’s mood lifted. She didn’t know whether other people felt this way, but sitting together with the person you liked and talking about ordinary family things seemed to make your emotions settle into a particularly pleasant rhythm.

Maybe that was what people needed from intimate relationships.

Zhu Qing’s bright, buoyant mood lasted all the way until evening, when it was cut short by Xiaobao’s howl.

“Your leg is hurt!”

At eight in the evening, the teacher brought Xiaobao home early. Zhu Qing had just finished dinner. She’d eaten a lot at noon and hadn’t really had much of an appetite at night, but Li Lan had deliberately set an alarm to get up and call her to eat, so she had no choice but to eat more.

Afterward, Li Lan went back to her room to catch up on sleep. Zhu Qing sprawled out in the living room to digest her food and let her knee air out.

What Xiaobao saw when she came through the door was exactly that.

The child had sharp eyes. She opened her mouth and rushed toward Zhu Qing, but the moment she spotted Zhu Qing’s swollen knee, the smile didn’t even have time to fully form before it broke apart and she burst into tears.

She pointed at Zhu Qing’s knee and bounced several times, her face flushed with anxiety.

“Hurt!”

Zhu Qing was scared out of her wits and quickly pulled the air-conditioning blanket over her leg.

Zhao Yun, who had followed Xiaobao in, was startled too.

“Yanqiu,” she said, walking over to steady Xiaobao’s shoulders and giving her a gentle squeeze, “look carefully first. The wound isn’t serious.”

“Yes, I’m fine. I just scraped off a little skin. It’ll be better very soon,” Zhu Qing coaxed softly. “Don’t be afraid.”

Xiaobao trembled all over with worry, angrily saying, “How did Zhu Zhu do this? I was gone for only one day.”

Zhu Qing couldn’t help laughing. “No copying grown-ups’ speech.”

Xiaobao put on a stern face. “Zhu Zhu is just too clumsy. Her sense of balance was already bad, and she’s always disobedient. How many times has this happened already?”

“You’re not allowed to talk like your mom,” Zhu Qing said, taking Xiaobao’s hand and pretending to be serious. “I’m an adult. This little injury will be gone tomorrow. You’re the one making a fuss, you little brat.” How did even Xiaobao know all about her poor balance?

“I’m not copying Mom’s speech,” Xiaobao said, her mouth drooping unhappily. “Mom would never scold you. Mom only scolds Xiaobao.”

After saying that, Xiaobao pushed Zhu Qing’s hand away, crouched beside her knee, and stared at the wound as she muttered, “I’m a child, not a little brat.”

Zhu Qing readily went along with it. “Fine, you’re a good child. Good children have to be obedient; go wash up with the teacher and then go to bed, okay?”

Then Zhu Qing looked at Zhao Yun. “Sorry to trouble you to take Xiaobao to wash up. I’m not very convenient right now.”

Before she finished speaking, the door to the second bedroom opened.

Li Lan came out from inside, first looking at Zhu Qing, then at Xiaobao, who was crouched on the floor pretending to be a mushroom.

“I’ll take her. Teacher Zhao should head back first.”

Zhao Yun hadn’t had a chance to speak just now. Looking at the two adults now, she said, “No.”

Li Lan and Zhu Qing: ?

Xiaobao lifted her chin stubbornly. “Hmph.”

Zhao Yun pushed up her glasses. “You two are both here. I was just about to look for you.”

Three minutes later, Li Lan and Zhu Qing were sitting on the sofa, with Zhao Yun seated opposite them. She took a sip of water, then slowly explained what had happened to Xiaobao at school that day.

Zhao Yun was a carefully selected, expensively hired tutor by Li Lan. She was responsible for shaping Xiaobao’s values and cultivating her all-around abilities. Xiaobao’s schooling was under her management, and she was also the contact person listed with the kindergarten, so she often knew about Xiaobao’s activities before Zhu Qing and Li Lan did.

“She used her pocket money to buy one hundred jin of books from a secondhand bookstall and had the stall owner deliver them to the kindergarten. By the time the owner finished checking the books and brought them to the kindergarten, school was already over. The guard on duty thought the books had been bought by the kindergarten, so he let the stall owner put them in the school library.”

“Today, when she went to the kindergarten and found the books in the library, she asked the teacher to return them to her, but quite a few had already been borrowed by the children. So she went to ask for them back one by one.”

“One child really liked one of the picture books and didn’t want to return it to Xiaobao, so he said the books weren’t Xiaobao’s; they belonged to the kindergarten, and Xiaobao was trying to steal the kindergarten’s books home.”

Li Lan and Zhu Qing looked at each other, each seeing confusion in the other’s eyes.

Zhu Qing was wondering how, at the age of five, while other kids were peeing in mud, changing Barbie’s clothes, and playing with egg-shaped toys, Xiaobao had actually bought one hundred jin of books to read. What kind of transcendent awareness was that?

Li Lan was wondering where Xiaobao had gotten the money. Her tone turned cold. “Yan Xiaobao, when did you start hiding money?”

“I didn’t hide any money! This was all Xiaobao’s savings!” Xiaobao shot to her feet indignantly. “It was all my salary from working for Teacher Zhao!”

Li Lan looked disapprovingly at Zhao Yun.

Zhao Yun coughed lightly. “Parents, that’s not the point.”

Zhu Qing noticed the blind spot before Li Lan did. “Xiaobao, what did you buy so many books for? To read yourself?”

Xiaobao stared at Zhu Qing with wide eyes and said nothing.

Zhu Qing waved a hand in front of her face. “Hm? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Xiaobao looked at her for a while, then looked away and tugged at Zhao Yun’s clothes with her head lowered.

Zhao Yun said calmly, “My guess is that she wanted to buy them for the welfare institution next door. The bookstall owner delivered them to the wrong place.”

Zhu Qing’s eyes widened. “A welfare institution? You mean the one behind the kindergarten, sitting on prime real estate but so poor it’s practically rattling empty?”

Xiaobao’s head shot up. “Zhu Zhu remembers it?”

Zhu Qing said, “I don’t. I went to the kindergarten yesterday, and Teacher Yi Xi told me about it.”

The light in Xiaobao’s eyes dimmed at once. “Oh.”

Li Lan’s gaze moved back and forth between Zhu Qing and Xiaobao, her brows slightly furrowed, a trace of contemplation flashing in the depths of her eyes.

————————

Li Lan: People earning three thousand a month should not imitate the appearance management of people earning three million a month.

Zhu Qing: Eek... hmph.

Zhu Xiaoqing’s complaint: Tossing a flirty glance at a blind man.

Li Xiaolan’s cold laugh: Then why don’t you manage to toss it successfully once?