Duty

“It’s over, it’s over…” Zhu Qing covered her face, her voice muffled as she stammered, “I-I couldn’t have... forced myself on you, could I? Or shoved you against the wall and said something like, ‘Woman, you’ve caught my eye’?”

Li Lan’s expression shifted slightly, her tone turning a little complicated. “You, forcing yourself on me?”

She put the emphasis on “you” and “me,” her voice lifting just a little at the end, carrying a trace of confusion.

Zhu Qing was still lost in her imagination as she muttered, “Yeah, I forced myself on you, and you screamed until your throat went raw and nobody came... no, wait, you said you had low blood sugar, so I took advantage of the situation and threatened you into giving in?”

Li Lan looked at her seriously for half a minute, confirming that Zhu Qing really thought she’d been the one on top.

Zhu Qing pressed, “Was it?”

Li Lan opened her mouth. “No, you weren’t, you really weren’t... read fewer domineering CEO novels.”

“Then what did I do?” Zhu Qing said, on the verge of collapse. “I couldn’t have... thrown up on you, could I?”

Li Lan looked mildly speechless.

Zhu Qing’s talent for ruining the mood was as reliable as ever.

“Li Lan,” Zhu Qing’s voice was shaking, “I, I, I...”

Zhu Qing had wanted to hear about the romantic and beautiful beginning of her acquaintance with Li Lan; she did not want to hear about her own embarrassing behavior!

Especially not embarrassing herself right in front of Li Lan. That would make her lose both face and dignity at once!

Seeing how nervous she was, Li Lan had no choice but to comfort her. “It’s fine. Everything’s fine.”

Back then, Zhu Qing had been completely drunk, her whole body smelling like it had been soaked in red wine, like a little pastry drenched through with alcohol.

She had been holding her misplaced coat in her arms, and after knocking twice, her hand had started trembling. She had no choice but to take a deep breath, clench and unclench her fist, and only after regaining a little strength did she continue knocking.

If there was no response for more than half a minute, Zhu Qing would grow even more anxious; the flush of wine on her face would deepen until it turned redder and redder.

Li Lan had watched for quite a while before finally opening the door.

She remembered the scene clearly: Zhu Qing, eyes hazy with drink and cheeks flushed with an alluring red, had taken the initiative to say many things.

“Li-Li Lan, Teacher Li, hello. I’m from the table you were just sitting at.”

“I found your coat.” Zhu Qing’s gaze had been fixed straight on Li Lan’s face; her fingers made a vague little grasping motion around the coat in her arms. “Here, I brought it over.”

Li Lan had leaned against the door. “You only came to return this; why did you drink so much?”

Zhu Qing had shaken her head, then lowered it in shame. “It wasn’t that much, actually. I just mixed them up by accident and drank red wine with baijiu. That’s why.”

Li Lan had lowered her head, carefully studying every expression on Zhu Qing’s face. “You remember me?”

Zhu Qing had obediently blinked, nodding and shaking her head at the same time. “I saw you on my phone while scrolling.”

Li Lan had said softly, “Then you’ve forgotten me.”

Zhu Qing hadn’t understood why Li Lan had suddenly gotten angry, and had panicked at once, helpless as a child who had done something wrong.

Li Lan had turned to leave when a hand suddenly caught her sleeve.

The fingers were pale, but the grip was extremely strong, and they were trembling slightly.

Gathering her courage, Zhu Qing had tugged again.

Li Lan couldn’t bear to leave her hanging for too long, so she turned her head and said, “The coat doesn’t matter. If you still have something to say, say it within a minute.”

Zhu Qing had been driven to the point that her eyes turned red. “I-I... can I look into your eyes when I say it?”

Li Lan had turned a little more, and then she’d heard the best words she had ever heard in her life.

Li Lan had always liked Zhu Qing like this when she was drunk; despite being so embarrassed her ears were practically bleeding, if you gave her just the right push, she would stubbornly voice her feelings, sincere and frank. It was wonderful.

Back in the present, Zhu Qing was still talking on the phone screen; Li Lan pulled herself out of her memories, looking a little helpless.

Zhu Qing seemed to have misunderstood her own role a bit, but Li Lan couldn’t exactly explain.

Those sweet, tender moments from the past were precious memories to Li Lan. Since the person involved had forgotten them, how could she bring them up? Much less now, when the two of them stood in such a delicate place; going into too much detail would make it sound like she was reminiscing. Li Lan didn’t want to reminisce about the past alone with a Zhu Qing whose mind was blank.

So Li Lan repeated herself: “It’s all in the past. It’s fine. You don’t need to worry too much.”

On the other end, however, the comfort only made Zhu Qing even more frantic: how could this be fine!

So what Qian Cancan said was true; on their first meeting, she had gotten drunk and gone wild, and even taken someone completely apart!

Wait—then what Qian Cancan said afterward, that because she had no experience she’d made Li Lan suffer terribly and then refused to take responsibility afterward... was that true too?!

Zhu Qing covered her face, her voice muffled between her fingers. “Then later, did I... take responsibility for you? No, wait, why did I refuse to admit it? No, on the second day, you— you the second day...”

Li Lan picked up a glass of sparkling water from the small table beside the lounge chair and took a slow sip. Thinking of this matter, she felt a little sullen herself, though it didn’t show on her face. She said calmly, “The next day, you remembered nothing. You didn’t want to take responsibility.”

Even though she’d summoned the courage to go looking for her while drunk, the next morning she had only thought about clearing her name.

“Your expression at first looked like you were dreaming, then you were stunned, then frightened, and after that you ran. In the end, you tripped over yourself and fell to the ground.”

Zhu Qing: ...!!

Before Zhu Qing could even speak, Li Lan lowered her gaze. Her lashes cast a small shadow under her eyes as she said slowly, with subtle meaning, “Still, it was fine. The evidence was solid; facts speak louder than words.”

Boom—Zhu Qing’s face instantly burned so hot it looked like it was smoking; she was like a cooked shrimp.

Evidence!

That had to mean the marks all over her body, and the messy bedsheets!

She’d blacked out from drinking, and after Li Lan had been thoroughly devoured, the culprit had woken the next morning and forgotten absolutely everything. What kind of misery was this!

And yet Li Lan hadn’t hammered her flat; her patience and self-restraint really were admirable!

At this moment, Zhu Qing’s entire mind was full of guilt and pity.

She wanted to explain, to prove she wasn’t that kind of person, but even the cleverest woman can’t cook without rice; with her memory gone, she was like water without a source, unable to argue her way out of it.

Dear Miss Li, although our first meeting began with my drunken misconduct, and ended with my bad temper and our terrible married life, I still very much approve of the relationship between us.

...She might as well not say anything.

The two of them fell silent.

After a while, Li Lan spoke first, casually changing the subject. Her tone was light. “After that, you promised to quit drinking.”

Zhu Qing was still a little dazed. “What?”

Li Lan leaned closer to the camera, her exquisite face enlarging on the screen. She looked directly at Zhu Qing and repeated slowly, “You said you wouldn’t get drunk again. You promised.”

Zhu Qing remembered getting drunk outside a few days ago and suddenly understood. “Oh, oh, oh, I won’t drink anymore!”

Li Lan raised a brow, her tone cool. “Oh?”

“Getting drunk ruins things, really,” Zhu Qing said sincerely, her gaze turning clear and bright. “You were right. I absolutely won’t drink myself blind again.”

Li Lan felt a little pleased inside, though not a trace of it showed on her face. She said softly, “Actually, you have your freedom. I’m just worried about your safety. After all, when you get drunk, you black out...”

Zhu Qing cut her off, her eyes resolute. “You’re right; this is what I should do, mm!”

Li Lan didn’t speak.

Zhu Qing raised her voice. “This is all my own free will. I’m quitting alcohol of my own accord; it has nothing to do with you!”

After a moment of silence, Li Lan leaned back a little, pressing down the corners of her lips to hide the slight curl there, and said calmly, “Fine.”

Zhu Qing was practically exploding inside. Whatever Li Lan said, she would agree to; let alone that Li Lan was only asking her to quit drinking.

Quit. She’d quit right now. Not a drop.

Li Lan’s lips curved almost imperceptibly.

Zhu Qing didn’t dare look at Li Lan’s face anymore; her gaze wandered everywhere before landing back on Li Lan again.

No matter how she looked at her, she seemed perfect.

As Zhu Qing watched Li Lan, she suddenly realized that, more than embarrassment, a more hidden kind of joy had risen in her heart.

Anything connected to Li Lan made her happy; especially since these things had been told to her by Li Lan herself, they gave the amnesiac Zhu Qing a sense of closeness and familiarity.

It was like sinking into a cool, gentle stream on a summer afternoon; the comfort was refreshing and deeply satisfying.

She and Li Lan were not a formal pair in name only; they had truly been lovers who loved each other.

At the same time, a certain eager desire also rose within her.

Zhu Qing remembered what Qian Cancan had said about one of the reasons for their divorce: that their intimate life was out of harmony, and that she herself hadn’t been very willing to fulfill her responsibilities as a partner.

Zhu Qing really wanted to go back and pry open her own skull to see whether it was full of distilled water; otherwise, how could she have had such a gorgeous woman in front of her and still remained as calm as still water? Did she have some kind of sexual arousal disorder? Zhu Qing shook her head. No, she had feelings; she definitely wasn’t sick.

If it wasn’t her body, then it was a problem with their feelings. Zhu Qing automatically ignored that part. If the feelings weren’t working, she’d build them again.

The first time, she had been the one to take the initiative to find Li Lan. Zhu Qing was not entirely satisfied with the process, but the result had still been comforting.

A harmonious intimate life helped warmth grow between them.

Among the tangled mess in her head, Zhu Qing managed to grab hold of one loose thread.

A thought suddenly struck her: if her initiative had once won Li Lan over, then now that she wanted to pursue Li Lan again, shouldn’t she be a little more honest about it?

She didn’t want to be that drunk fool who ran away the next day again; at the very least... she wanted Li Lan to know she was serious.

When Li Lan saw that Zhu Qing had been silent for a while, she chuckled. “What are you spacing out for?”

Zhu Qing praised her clothes: “The color suits you; bright and radiant. Very beautiful.”

It was as if Li Lan had been waiting for those words. The corners of her mouth lifted as her eyes curved lazily, her expression like a cat having its back stroked.

Zhu Qing’s brows curved too.

“What time are you coming home tomorrow?” Zhu Qing asked.

Li Lan estimated the schedule. “My flight is at one in the afternoon; I should reach the airport around three.”

Zhu Qing nodded and said softly, “Okay. I’ll be waiting for you at home.”

Someone came over on Li Lan’s side and seemed to be talking about work; she still had things to do, so she hung up.

Zhu Qing ended the call, her palm faintly warm.

She stared at her phone screen; Li Lan’s voice still seemed to linger by her ear, cool and warm at once, like a feather lightly brushing the shell of her ear.

Taking a deep breath, Zhu Qing unconsciously rubbed the sofa armrest with her fingers, already calculating at full speed in her head.

She hadn’t decided what to be honest about, or how to be honest, but she felt an urge to say something out loud.

Zhu Qing got up and walked around the room, touched the light switch, then began moving the decorations around. She needed warm-toned lighting in the room, and maybe a faint fragrance; something subtle enough that she’d notice it as soon as she walked in, but not so strong that it would be overwhelming.

What should she say after Li Lan came home? Take her luggage, welcome her back, and then what? Say, I like you? That was too direct.

The more Zhu Qing thought about it, the faster her heart beat.

—Wait, wasn’t she being a little too confident?

Zhu Qing froze suddenly. What if Li Lan didn’t like her anymore? What if Li Lan came right out and said, “We don’t love each other anymore”?

She shook her head and bit her lower lip.

But what if Li Lan didn’t refuse? Or rather, what if Li Lan wasn’t opposed to her approach and her affection?

For that possibility, Zhu Qing decided to take a gamble.

She took a deep breath and looked down at what she was wearing: a loose T-shirt and cotton sleep pants. Absolutely not alluring.

She needed to change clothes; not too deliberate, but not too casual either. A silk robe? Too eager. A loose V-neck sweater? Too conservative.

She picked up her phone and found someone with extremely rich experience in this area.

[What do you think... is the most attractive thing for a woman to wear?]

Qian Cancan replied very quickly.