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Nan Changgeng was, in principle, willing to trust Lin Yan’s judgment of Yu Mao, but worry was not something reason could always rein in.

She could accept that not every attempt would go smoothly. After all, she was feeling her way across the river too; everything she tried was only a guess based on what she already knew, and it was unrealistic to expect every step to be perfectly steady.

But only on the premise that none of it harmed Yu Mao.

Her brows drew together. She cupped the girl’s face in both hands and gently shook it twice; the heat beneath her palms was so intense it was almost scalding.

Yu Mao gave no response; she was still popping fireworks.

Nan Changgeng grew even more flustered and turned to Lin Yan. “Is this really normal?”

Lin Yan had already gone numb from the shock. She got up to pick up her chopsticks and said coolly, “Relax. A person isn’t going to be kissed to death.”

“...”

Nan Changgeng choked a little, and her anxiety eased quite a bit. She thought Lin Yan was rather funny.

But Yu Mao really did seem fine. The nosebleed had stopped; she had only been stiff for a little over two minutes before slowly coming back to her senses. Her eyes shifted slightly, focusing again, and she closed her mouth, unconsciously savoring the salty-sweet taste of shrimp.

Just swallowing the saliva mixed with shrimp flavor felt like swallowing a great deal, making her esophagus tighten; the taste belonging to Nan Changgeng kept insisting on its vivid presence in her awareness.

Watching her complexion gradually return to normal, Nan Changgeng finally relaxed and studied her expression. “Did you taste it?”

Yu Mao pressed her lips together tightly and nodded.

“Then why aren’t you chewing?” the woman asked with a smile, looking at her like a mussel holding a pearl.

Only then did Yu Mao start moving again. She ground the shrimp with her teeth, mixed it with more saliva, and swallowed; her tongue scraped every inch of her mouth clean, and at the end she even reached out to carefully rub her lips twice.

No matter how much of Nan Changgeng could be left behind, it all had to be swallowed into her belly.

This was one person’s toward another, unrelated to desire; it was the most innocent, most primitive longing, revealing an unusual purity.

For some reason, Nan Changgeng could just tell what she was thinking. When they had actually been kissing, she hadn’t felt there was anything to call embarrassment; but now her ears were faintly hot, and she still had to keep a straight, serious expression as she used her chopsticks to feed another shrimp into Yu Mao’s mouth, which was still lingering over the aftertaste.

“Can you taste anything?”

This time Yu Mao chewed normally and answered, “Yes. It tastes salty.”

Nan Changgeng smiled in relief and quickly put that bit of private shyness behind her. “Then this attempt counts as a success.”

Though from this point on, perhaps every shrimp would carry some special meaning in another layer of Yu Mao’s mind.

“Eat your meal first; it’ll get cold soon,” Lin Yan reminded them, thinking that this girl was just as troublesome as she had been back then.

The difference was that the other person always got what she wanted, while she herself failed nine times out of ten.

What blatant favoritism. Hmph.

The two of them couldn’t see how much resentment was buried in her expression as she looked down at her bowl. Nan Changgeng ignored the gaze that had already begun to settle on her lips and put some shrimp into the small bowl for Yu Mao, then went back to eating her own meal as if nothing had happened.

By the time the rider had delivered the meal and it had sat around for half a day, it really had gone cold; but she was in a rare good mood and didn’t mind.

After lunch, they still weren’t in a hurry to leave.

Lin Yan knew Nan Changgeng definitely still had questions, so she threw out the takeout boxes and cut a plate of fruit, placing it on the coffee table.

Nan Changgeng liked being fed, and stuffed several pieces of fruit into Yu Mao, watching her cheeks puff out as she chewed.

After a while, she turned back and looked at Lin Yan seriously.

“Is there any way to learn more about that experiment? If I can’t figure out the principle, I never feel at ease.”

Even now that the person had awakened safe and sound, she still couldn’t stop worrying that at any moment she might “die” again and never wake up.

“I don’t know much either,” Lin Yan said, her expression growing a little more solemn. “It feels pretty mysterious. I looked up a lot of gene-related papers before; even though it wasn’t hidden that tightly, not a single article mentioned this experiment. I even feel like it goes beyond what modern technology should be able to reach.”

“On the other hand, I learned a little from the director of the welfare home. Her home had taken in children like Yu Mao more than once; they were all abandoned at one or two years old. They took very careful care of them, but every child died young. The one who lived the longest died at eleven, with blood coming from all seven apertures, brain-dead, beyond saving; it took several days before the body finally gave out completely.”

Nan Changgeng’s breathing suddenly caught.

She turned her head and looked fixedly at the girl who was seriously eating an orange; only after a long while did the weight in her chest slowly settle.

Lin Yan looked over too, her gaze dark and unreadable. “Yu Mao is the only exception the director has ever seen.”

There was a suspicion in her heart that she did not dare speak aloud.

—If the higher-ups had just put the test subject back into society like this, with no oversight at all?

Or had those dead children all been counted as failures, necessary losses in the experiment, not worth worrying about; and only the children who survived had to meet some specific condition before drawing their attention?

Yu Mao had survived, but was her current situation really safe?

What Lin Yan could think of, Nan Changgeng could think of too.

Her chest felt heavy, as if a stone had been dropped into it.

“If they’re not conducting this experiment in secret, then either the test subjects have to live within normal society and there’s no way to hide it, so they can only control the internet; or they think what they’re doing is justified, something they absolutely must do, and even if it gets exposed, it won’t cause especially severe consequences.”

“Like what’s written in that confidentiality agreement; they’re making the necessary sacrifice to save humanity’s future,” Nan Changgeng said, her brows tightly knitted. “Though I can’t even imagine what kind of disaster would require using human beings for an experiment like this.”

“I have a feeling that there’s definitely going to be huge trouble in the future,” Lin Yan said with a troubled sigh, then turned angry again. “If they can do this kind of thing, then I don’t think humanity is really worth saving.”

The weather today was fickle; the sunlight outside the window had been blocked again at some point, and dark clouds rolled across the sky, making the atmosphere even more oppressive.

A vague unease spread through the room, like damp, cold mud clinging to the bones—eerie, and somehow enough to make one’s skin crawl.

In the silence, Yu Mao picked up a small fork, speared a piece of strawberry, and held it to Nan Changgeng’s lips.

“Changgeng, eat.”

Nan Changgeng lowered her eyes, hiding the complexity in them, and opened her mouth to accept the offering. Sweet-and-sour juice spread through her mouth. She knew Yu Mao had noticed her low mood and was trying to coax her back into a better state.

“Were you listening to what we were saying?” she asked.

Yu Mao nodded. “I heard it. I’m a test subject.”

“You don’t have any thoughts about that?”

Even if she had just found out, no matter how calm she was, she should still have some reaction, shouldn’t she?

Yu Mao blinked lightly; her dark, clear eyes reflected the woman’s somewhat worried face.

“I don’t know. I think as long as it hasn’t affected you or me, there’s nothing worth caring about.

“Don’t worry about me; don’t be afraid of me dying. That’s less important than this.

“I’m only afraid that I’ll hurt you.”

Nan Changgeng froze for a long moment, then let out a long breath; for an instant, her nose stung.

“That’s impossible now. I’ve already started caring about you, so think of a way to keep yourself alive a little longer.”

After a moment of silence, Yu Mao apologized again. “Sorry. I’ve interfered with your life.”

“I don’t want to hear that.” Nan Changgeng looked away, and her expression turned cold for an instant.

Yu Mao immediately changed her words, reaching out to grip her sleeve. “I’ll work hard to keep myself alive, to grow into a complete human being, and to give you the love you want.”

“I can start the task of understanding the teacher now.” She was very anxious.

“How are you going to do it?” the woman asked, her tone softening as her gaze brushed over her.

Lin Yan took the words with a smile and even teased her a little. “Do you want to do a quick Q&A? You’re about to forget even my name, aren’t you? I’m Lin Yan; make sure you remember it this time.”

Yu Mao nodded solemnly, and there was a rare hint of gratitude in her eyes. “I can look it up on a computer.”

“Then wouldn’t my old business be dug up by you?!” Lin Yan waved her hands quickly; she couldn’t bear such an honor. “No, no, if you want to know anything, just ask me directly. Keep that treatment for Changgeng alone. Loving her means treating her specially; once you do it to her, you can’t do it to anyone else.”

Nan Changgeng: “..."

She gave a soft laugh. “So you knew about this too.”

For some reason, Lin Yan’s heart gave a jolt. She suddenly felt that this woman, several years younger than her, actually carried even more presence than she, a teacher, did.

“I guessed. She’s never told me any of this.”

“...No,” Lin Yan realized abruptly. “You know about what she’s been doing?”

Nan Changgeng said, “Mm. She told me.”

“And you’re not angry?” Lin Yan was quite surprised.

This wasn’t the sort of thing that could be brushed over with nothing more than generosity. It involved illegal acts. Even though she understood Yu Mao’s special circumstances, knew that Yu Mao could absolutely never do anything harmful to the other person, pretending not to know all these years had been a torment for her too.

“Saving one life is better than building a seven-story pagoda. Let’s just count it as earning some merit for myself,” Nan Changgeng said with a faint smile.

It was her own cat; let her spy if she wanted to. If one day she wanted to run away, it wouldn’t be too late to get angry and settle accounts then.

She didn’t know exactly what Yu Mao had uncovered, but it always felt as though her understanding of herself was even deeper than she had imagined.

Lin Yan gave two dry laughs at her dark humor and changed the subject. “Actually, whether Yu Mao understands me or not isn’t that important. This can wait until after you’ve finished the program; there’s no rush. Your show has plenty of people too, doesn’t it? It’s the same if you talk more with those girls there.”

“That makes sense. There are a lot of people over there, so the effect should be even better.”

Nan Changgeng took out her phone and glanced at it; the number of unread messages had risen by several dozen. “We should probably get going. The director’s been urging us the whole time.”

The information online was fermenting badly. Even though the program had issued a statement saying Yu Mao was safe and sound, it still couldn’t suppress the public’s demands. There were definitely people who were genuinely worried, but there were even more who were just here for the spectacle; together, it created no small amount of public pressure.

“Ugh...” Lin Yan felt irritated just thinking about the internet. “If I’d known this would happen, I should have set it to visible only to myself. Now that it’s blown up this much, who knows whether it’ll drag out that experiment too.”

“Before it reaches that point, the authorities will definitely step in and control it. Let them speculate. If there’s no result, the heat will die down sooner or later and be replaced by new trending topics; internet users have always been very forgetful.”

Nan Changgeng wasn’t too worried. These weren’t things they could solve on their own anyway; thinking too much about them was useless.

“Compared with that, the more practical issue is whether your work will be affected. There will probably be bored people digging into your identity.”

Lin Yan was silent for a moment, then forced a smile. “...It’s fine. Worst case, I’ll retire early. Anyway, Yu Mao has money to support me in old age.”

Nan Changgeng looked at her for a long while, then lowered her voice. “But you really do love teaching, don’t you? From your blog records, being able to go this far for a student means you must have a great deal of patience and passion for this work.”

“..."

Lin Yan fell silent again. She pressed her lips together and sighed inwardly, a little resentful.

After being hit with so much information detached from reality in such a short time, she could still maintain such sharp insight and still have the leisure to pay attention to a recorder’s information; this woman really did have a lot going on in her head.

“I can help with the internet stuff,” Yu Mao suddenly said.

“If it hasn’t been exposed yet, I can lock down information related to you.”

The two of them immediately looked at her. Nan Changgeng raised a brow in surprise, then smiled and nodded. “That impressive? Then I’ll leave this to you.”

Yu Mao felt that she was satisfied; at once, she brightened up, stood up right away, and ran back to her own place to turn on her computer.

Nan Changgeng intended to follow. Lin Yan leaned back, completely relaxed, and waved a hand. “I won’t go over. You don’t need to tell me when you leave either.”

A major issue in her mind had found a solution, and now she felt a little light-headed and exhausted; she just wanted to be alone for a while.

“Okay.”

Nan Changgeng understood and didn’t bother her any further. She went out and walked into the apartment across the hall.

Yu Mao hadn’t closed the door, clearly having left it open on purpose for her. As soon as she entered the living room, she saw the girl’s back inside, with the crisp sound of keyboard tapping.

She stopped at the doorway and leaned sideways against the frame, watching her work from a short distance. The text on the screen changed rapidly; often before she could make it out clearly, it had already shifted.

Only now did she truly feel it; she deeply realized that Yu Mao’s ability to absorb knowledge was extremely strong. Otherwise, given her low sensitivity to the outside world, she would not have been able to use the right words to communicate normally with other people.

After another ten-odd minutes, Yu Mao finally stopped, shut down the computer, and turned her small head to look at her. “It’s done. I’ve locked down the teacher’s information at many layers; even if I can’t use a computer while on the show, the AI I trained will monitor online information in real time and lock down or restrict any content related to her.

“The teacher has helped me a lot, so I should help her too.”

The girl’s cat-like eyes looked up at her, moist and clear.

Before the praise could even leave her mouth, Nan Changgeng’s smile deepened because of that last sentence.

The girl was showing her that she really had been serious about carrying out what she had asked.

“Yes, exactly. You did very well.”

Nan Changgeng walked up to her, reached out, and rubbed the fluffy softness of her hair before gently stroking her face, like rewarding a well-behaved cat.

Yu Mao’s nose twitched slightly; she turned her head and, before Nan Changgeng’s hand could pull away, lightly pressed her lips to the tip of her finger.

TL Note:

feel your way across the river (摸着石头过河) = proceed by trial and error, cautiously testing each step.

popping fireworks (炸烟花) = being so overwhelmed that her mind feels like it’s exploding.

Saving one life is better than building a seven-story pagoda (救人一命胜造七级浮屠) is a Buddhist proverb meaning saving a life outweighs making religious merit.