Record 2

[I was Yu Mao’s teacher for two years, and her condition had always been fairly stable. I witnessed with my own eyes just how monstrous her learning ability was. Having a photographic memory was only the most basic part of it; her calculation ability, comprehension, observation, and analytical skills were all stronger than I could have imagined.

Before she was sent to the welfare home, this child had not spent a single day in school. Yet by now she had already taught herself all of high school. I gave her past college entrance exam papers to do; aside from Chinese, everything was a perfect score. My God, this is a true genius!

I called the director and asked whether there was any way to get the people above to notice this child and find her a more capable teacher. Keeping her stuck in elementary school was nothing short of burying her talent.

But the director fell silent, spoke vaguely, and told me not to meddle in this matter.

I was completely certain then: there must be some hidden story behind this.]

[I've never seen Yu Mao this happy... even though she can't smile at all, I could still tell from her expression how happy she was.

Nan Changgeng returned to the country, took part in a music program, and exploded in popularity. Promotional articles were everywhere online. She really is outstanding, but why is she so special?

For some reason, I have a faint unease in my heart.]

[As expected, once peace is broken, whether what follows is good or bad is no longer something I can control. After Nan Changgeng became popular, negative comments online were inevitable; Yu Mao cared a lot about it and used the school computer to hack the accounts of the people posting hate comments... I’m impressed.

Luckily, nobody traced it back to her, and nothing serious happened. I wanted to teach her a lesson, but it felt so powerless. After two years, her attitude toward me still hadn’t changed at all; as always, she ignored me completely.]

[Strange. Yu Mao’s memory seems to have gotten worse; she doesn’t even remember her classmates’ names, yet her studies haven’t been affected at all.]

[I couldn’t resist my curiosity and asked her about it. She said she had erased them herself; unimportant memories should be cleared out to make room for Nan Changgeng...

I’ve never been this speechless in my life.

Maybe one day, when I’m no longer involved in her life, she’ll forget me without hesitation too, just like clearing cache. That’s somewhat frustrating, and a little sorrowful.]

[She grew up; once she entered middle school, I was no longer her teacher. But I still couldn’t put my mind at ease. Four years—after spending so much effort caring for this child, when she entered a new environment, would anyone be willing to tolerate and look after her the way I did?

I asked the director whether Yu Mao could move in with me. It would be closer to the middle school, and she could still commute as a day student. The director agreed. Then I asked Yu Mao for her opinion, and she agreed too; she even thanked me.

I know she is a good child. If she were healthy, she would surely be a kind and good child.]

[I’m furious. She actually skipped school and went off on her own to attend Nan Changgeng’s concert, without saying a single word to me!! She’s just a child; doesn’t she know how dangerous it is to travel far away alone!

I gave her a thorough scolding, but she didn’t react at all... Aaah, I’m so angry! I really want to drag Nan Changgeng here and yell at her!]

[Ever since Nan Changgeng entered the entertainment industry and appeared in the public eye, the child’s emotional highs and lows have become very obvious. Both her happiness and her pain are so intense that they frighten me. At this rate, is there really no problem going on?]

[An extremely terrible day.

This child actually slit her wrists and tried to kill herself! If I hadn’t discovered it in time, I don’t know how much blood she would still have left in her body! I was utterly devastated. When I saw how frail and pale she looked, it was like looking at a life hanging by a single thread. So close to death...

After she woke up, I asked her why she did it. She said she had been squeezed so hard she couldn’t breathe, so she had to use up one tail and die before living once more.

I didn’t understand a word of it. I really wanted to slap her! The only good news is that she didn’t do it because she was tired of the world and wanted to die, and she never planned to actually let herself die. That was why she deliberately chose to make her move when I was almost off work.

I’m really angry!]

[Take Yu Mao to the psychiatric hospital again. She refuses to take the medication they prescribed.]

[After not even a few years of peace, something still happened in the end.

It is now one in the morning; the child has just barely fallen asleep in the hospital bed, and I can finally relax a little.

I don’t know exactly what happened, but something must have gone wrong on Nan Changgeng’s side, and Yu Mao somehow got wind of it. She was walking by the roadside when she suddenly collapsed... Luckily, a kind passerby called an ambulance; if it had been a few minutes later, she would have been in danger.

She was inexplicably suffocating, drenched in cold sweat, her nose bleeding because her capillaries had burst from emotional overload. She could only rely on oxygen from a breathing machine, and even lying in the hospital bed, she was still trembling all over. Yet after the examination, there was nothing abnormal about her body. The reason goes without saying.

Her mental condition erupted too suddenly and too violently; it came straight for her life.

I rarely see Yu Mao cry. Only now did I discover that she had so many tears. She just stared blankly at the ceiling with empty eyes, and the tears flowed like an endless river.

I couldn’t help crying too. I asked her what had happened, but she couldn’t explain clearly; she only muttered in confusion: she’s in pain, and I’m in pain too... so much pain...

At this moment, I have no doubt that if the “she” Yu Mao is talking about really comes to harm, this child won’t survive either.】

The date this entry was posted was exactly the day Nan Changgeng received the news of her mother’s death.

At this moment, she had no mind to think deeply about how Yu Mao had learned of what was happening on her side; she could only tremble in fear at how narrowly that life had brushed past death.

One of her own low points in life had actually affected a living person far away. That was something she could never have imagined.

Nan Changgeng pressed both palms over her face and rubbed hard, then took a deep breath, but the deep furrow between her brows still wouldn’t smooth out.

She couldn’t even sort out how she felt right now; it was all chaotic anxiety. She was even a little afraid to keep reading.

[Ever since that day, Yu Mao’s condition has never returned to normal. Outside of school, she spends all day in her room on the computer, and the screen is filled with characters I can’t understand.

Although she hasn’t done anything openly self-destructive, I always have the feeling that her life is slipping away rapidly, and no one can stop it by any means.

Her memory is getting worse and worse; even the teachers and classmates she used to see every day have been cast aside by her. It feels like only that Nan Changgeng exists in her life now.

That woman has disappeared from the public eye. I have no way to investigate where she is, but Yu Mao seems able to find out. Even so, her condition keeps sinking lower and lower. I can roughly guess that the woman’s situation can’t be good.]

[These days, Yu Mao leaves every so often for a few days at a time. I’ve tried following her to see where she goes, but I lose her every time.]

[Yu Mao nearly lost her life again... My emotions have unexpectedly grown close to numbness. In just a few short years, she has fainted many times and been taken to the hospital by passersby; many times she has passed out at home and I’ve had to send her to the hospital myself. The doctors there have already become familiar faces to us; every time they see us arrive, they professionally hand over the oxygen machine.

She has seen many psychiatrists; we’ve even tried hypnosis, and none of it had the slightest effect. Her inner world is like a wall of copper and iron, refusing entry to anyone.

Sometimes I pray that Nan Changgeng can return healthy; other times I can’t help resenting her, wondering why she can’t just live happily, why she has to kill my child before it’s over. I know my anger is completely unreasonable...

Even under normal circumstances, I often feel that Yu Mao lives in pain, as if she is constantly shrouded in despair. Occasionally I even have terrifying thoughts: would it actually be better to let her die like this than to keep suffering while alive?]

[Yu Mao rarely came to me of her own accord to seek help... She asked me: if Nan Changgeng is living badly, what can she do for her? How would I know? She guards that person’s information like a fortress and doesn’t let me see even a shred of it. I don’t even know what her situation is.

After thinking for a long time, I gave her a foolproof suggestion: go to a temple and pray for her.

The child went that very day. When she came back, she told me that worshipping Buddha and asking for blessings felt inferior to simply worshipping Nan Changgeng directly...

A bit crazy, but somehow it made surprising sense. After all, both are just psychological comfort; worshipping the person herself makes the wish reach her directly.

What I truly didn’t expect was that her “worshipping the person herself” meant bowing to the other party as if she were a god, in the literal form of prayer! The first time I heard her muttering prayers outside the window in the middle of the night, I thought she’d been possessed. Sigh... anyone with even a little taboo about gods and buddhas would be afraid of shortening their own life span over this.

I only hope that if Nan Changgeng ever learns of this in the future, she won’t think I was the one who instigated it.]

“...”

Nan Changgeng pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand and closed her eyes. Thinking of the night Xu Yang once encountered a ghost, she couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh, even with her emotions tangled up like this.

No wonder she always felt that there was a kind of reverence in the way Yu Mao looked at her.

The good news was that although she wasn’t a pure materialist, she didn’t find these things all that taboo.

The drowsy director heard her laugh and lifted her eyelids to glance at her; her gaze paused when she saw the tears glimmering in Nan Changgeng’s eyes.

Recalling the content of the records she had read last night, she couldn’t help letting out a silent sigh.

[Yu Mao’s condition is getting more and more dangerous. She can no longer feel whether she herself is in pain or happy at all; all her emotions grow on Nan Changgeng. If the other person is well, she is well; if the other person hurts, she hurts.

The doctors believe the only way to save her is to make her sever the “connection” and “shared sensation” with that person, but persuasion is completely useless, and hypnosis has no effect on her either. I truly don’t know what else can be done.]

[I asked her why she didn’t think of finding Nan Changgeng, getting a little closer to her, and personally helping and accompanying her. She said she wouldn’t live long, so she couldn’t be friends with her; it would make her sad.

Could it be that she, like a cat, can sense her own death?

Sigh... I was too naive. I simply can’t save her...]

[Filled with grief, I called the welfare home director to pour out my troubles. She listened in silence for a long time, then finally asked me to come over; she had something to tell me.

I had a vague premonition in my heart... I was going to touch the greatest secret behind Yu Mao.]

[So that’s how it is... so that’s how it is!!

It’s terrifying. Why can something like this appear so openly? This world is insane! Completely insane!! What exactly are they trying to do!! What do they take human beings for!!】

The records related to Yu Mao ended here, and this was also the blog account’s final post. The person recording them had clearly suffered no small shock; from then on, they stopped recording even the other students.

What earth-shattering secret did this teacher discover in the end?

As for Yu Mao, why question what they take human beings for...

Nan Changgeng came up with a chilling guess; her breathing slowed again and again, and a chill spread along her spine.

“Finished?” the director asked, breaking the silence, which had grown almost deathly still.

“Mm.” Nan Changgeng looked up and lightly wiped away the faint crystal moisture at the corner of her eye with her fingertip. Then she asked softly, “Does Yu Mao know about this?”

...

Yu Mao read the information she needed from the assistant director’s hesitation.

—Nan Changgeng already knew.

It was as if a giant hammer had suddenly smashed into her head; everything started ringing, and the world spun. She fell back into the chair and sank into a long daze.

In just a few seconds, cold sweat broke out all over her forehead.

When the assistant director saw her like this, she jumped up in alarm. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?!”

All she could think about was the record saying that Yu Mao often suffocated and fainted, jumping back and forth on the brink of the King of Hell’s palace as if it were routine. She was afraid that if Yu Mao was stimulated too hard, they would have to carry her into an ambulance right in front of the camera!

Even though she didn’t understand at all why Yu Mao’s reaction was so intense.

The drone even smartly flew closer, enlarging the image to show Yu Mao’s ugly expression in high definition.

The livestream barrage had already been spammed into afterimages; it was impossible to tell who was saying what.

If Yu Mao before had been like a pot of boiling water on the internet, then right now she was a giant boulder thrown into the pot, blowing the whole thing apart.

Not only in the livestream room; the internet was flooded with related discussions. Some people were even posting videos, analyzing those blog entries line by line. Especially the very last one; pessimists and conspiracy theorists had already started the momentum, and all kinds of speculation were flying around, even including claims that the world was about to end.

TL Note:

on the brink of the King of Hell’s palace (在阎王殿前反复横跳) = repeatedly flirting with death.