Intuition

Because they needed to take Yu Mao to the hospital for an examination, filming was temporarily suspended. The livestream cut to a black screen, but the comments still flew by at breakneck speed.

[They barely said a few words, and the little cat was coaxed into smiling with just one pat on the head]

[The little cat was taken away so smoothly]

[? Bold of you to call Teacher Nan a trafficker; the little cat is going to leap up and scratch you]

[Maybe they’re communicating with their minds. The atmosphere feels weirdly off]

[What I’m most worried about now is her physical condition. It’s rare for emotional problems to show up in the body this badly. The little cat’s health must be awful]

[Her eating habits are so extreme… it’d be strange if there weren’t problems, and although I know Nan Changgeng has psychological issues too, I still hope she can show a little compassion after this; at least try to persuade her. Maybe Yu Dingding will listen]

[If even Nan Changgeng can’t persuade her, it really feels beyond saving……]

The mood in the livestream room swung between relaxed and heavy. Yu Mao and Nan Changgeng were already in the car on the way to the hospital.

They had chosen the nearest hospital to the filming location; it was just a little over ten minutes away.

The two sat side by side in the back seat. Freed from the ever-present cameras, Nan Changgeng relaxed a little. Fatigue showed in the lines between her brows. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, and pressed around her eyes with her fingertips.

Yu Mao turned to look at her. The woman’s jet-black, silky hair had slipped forward, covering part of her profile, so Yu Mao shifted her attention to the line of her body instead.

She was still wearing a suit, white today. Sunlight poured through the car window and fell across her back, making the white seem faintly luminous.

From this angle, without the shoulder pads that gave her a more imposing presence, the fabric pulled taut and revealed just how slender and lean her back really was; one arm would have been enough to circle her in an embrace.

Yu Mao lifted a hand to the corner of her eye and quietly brushed away the moisture that had gathered there. Her lips parted slightly as she let out a soft, tired breath:

“God…”

Nan Changgeng suddenly looked back, her eyes half puzzled.

She seemed to have heard something, but it was too soft to be sure whether it had really happened.

Yu Mao met her gaze and blinked, taking the chance to ask, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Nan Changgeng straightened and looked at her. A trace of helplessness surfaced on her face, and she smiled. “You’ve asked that too many times.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head.

“Okay.”

Yu Mao was persistent, yet somehow patient too.

Nan Changgeng truly couldn’t make sense of her. Why would a fan be so eager, so desperate to do something for their idol?

So she asked instead, sounding curious, “Is there anything you want me to do for you?”

Yu Mao met her interested gaze and sensed the faint, hidden urge to pry beneath it. The beat of her heart suddenly seemed loud in her ears. She didn’t need to think long before shaking her head. “I want… you to do things only for yourself.”

Nan Changgeng didn’t understand at first and raised an eyebrow. Before she could ask again, Yu Mao continued:

“Whatever you do, do it for yourself.”

“Whether you’re happy or in pain, let it be only for yourself.”

The girl’s voice was soft and airy, as if it couldn’t settle anywhere solid, but her tone was stubbornly firm, like every stroke in her handwriting pressed hard enough to bite through the paper.

Nan Changgeng only understood half of it and joked, “Are you saying you want me to become an egoist?”

But Yu Mao’s answer became even more baffling. Even though her gaze had drifted, Nan Changgeng had the strange feeling of being watched intently.

“Discard… meaningless restraints.”

Nan Changgeng leaned back against the seat, amused and patient in the way one might indulge a child. A smile touched her lips; it wasn’t entirely serious, but it was gentle enough. “Can you be more specific?”

Yu Mao’s next sentence made that smile stiffen at the corners.

“Why should you feel guilty about doing what, by your own judgment, benefits you?”

The girl’s eyes were very dark. As the vehicle passed through the shadow of a building, the interior dimmed slightly; the light in her eyes was swallowed, leaving behind a murky, mist-like darkness.

Nan Changgeng had the illusion that Yu Mao was looking through her skin and straight into her soul.

A chill rose from the bottom of her heart, and her expression tightened. In an instant, layer after layer of caution went up inside her.

A crew member, ears pricked, had been listening to their conversation. Seeing Nan Changgeng go silent, she couldn’t help but interject, “What does that mean?”

Yu Mao ignored her, still focused entirely on Nan Changgeng. The moment she noticed the change in the woman’s expression, her pupils trembled slightly. Her straight back curved, and she made herself shrink in on herself.

She opened a pair of round, black eyes and looked innocent again.

Nan Changgeng narrowed her eyes in confusion. Watching Yu Mao place her feet in the gaps between the leather seats and inch closer, she felt the girl lean near her ear and speak in a tiny, weak voice:

“Don’t feel guilty about me, please…”

From someone who seemed to see through people’s hearts, she suddenly transformed into a cat begging desperately for scraps.

Nan Changgeng stared, caught off guard, and for a moment had nothing to say.

She felt she had a lot to ask, and far too much curiosity waiting to be answered, but when the words reached her lips, only three came out, dry and blunt:

“Why?”

Yu Mao pulled back a little, though she was still very close; Nan Changgeng could clearly see the moisture glistening in her eyes. Those eyes were bright and black like a baby’s, reflecting her tiny silhouette.

Her voice remained soft as ever, but carried a stubborn seriousness that was almost palpable. “If I make you unhappy because of me, I’ll be in a lot of pain.”

She did not want to bring anything negative to Nan Changgeng; that was something she absolutely could not tolerate.

Nan Changgeng’s expression went still for a moment. She could clearly hear her heart slam once against her ribs, then feel as if someone had wrung all the water out of it, leaving behind a parched weakness and a faint tremor.

An anxiety that looked disturbingly like fear made it hard for her to breathe.

After a long moment, she drew in a shallow breath and managed to force out a small smile.

“Why would you think that? I don’t think I’ve ever said anything about feeling guilty toward you.”

Yu Mao tilted her head slightly. “Intuition.”

She lifted her face, trying to carefully observe the changes in Nan Changgeng’s emotions at that moment, but could only sense a tangled mess.

A hand suddenly reached over and pressed down on her head with a little force, carrying a trace of irritation.

Nan Changgeng was still smiling as she looked at Yu Mao’s unable-to-lift-her-head expression, her gaze unreadable. “Then you may have been mistaken.”

Yu Mao kept her head lowered and made no move to resist. She answered, “Okay.”

If that was the case, then that would be best.

The conversation ended just as strangely as it had begun.

Nan Changgeng withdrew her hand, and Yu Mao shrank back into her seat and sat quietly.

The crew member did not dare say another word. She felt there was an odd magnetic field between the two of them; even the long stretches of silence felt strangely impenetrable.

A moment later, the car arrived at the hospital.

They went to the first floor to line up and register, and first made an appointment with gastroenterology.

Originally, Nan Changgeng had hoped they could go to the physical examination center for a full checkup. She wouldn’t have been surprised if Yu Mao had stomach problems; what worried her more was the nosebleed.

But time was a little tight, and Yu Mao was adamant that she was fine, so they could only focus on checking her stomach.

There were blood tests, a gastroscopy, and along the way they also disinfected and treated the wound on her arm. The results showed malnutrition plus gastritis, and it couldn’t be determined whether there was any lesion, so more in-depth examination was needed.

Yu Mao refused. She did not want to waste time in the hospital. Getting a result that didn’t seem too serious was enough to reassure the production team, and that was enough to get by.

In the end, they only prescribed some medicine and headed back.

When they returned to the recording building, the other contestants didn’t know much about Yu Mao’s condition. The three who had watched the video had been forbidden to spread it, so everyone only heard that Yu Mao had gone for a checkup because she was feeling unwell.

Seeing her come back with Nan Changgeng, they were rather surprised and gathered around to ask this and that.

Yu Mao refused to say a single word, while Nan Changgeng used her superb smooth-talking skills to deflect everything. After talking for a while, she still hadn’t directly answered why she herself had accompanied Yu Mao to the hospital.

Right now, the most urgent matter was preparing for the first public stage. Seeing there was nothing new to dig into, the contestants lost interest and dispersed.

Nan Changgeng escorted Yu Mao back to the dormitory. She didn’t leave in a hurry and even poured some water for Yu Mao to take her medicine.

Getting Yu Mao to take medicine was easier than getting her to eat. Yu Mao swallowed the pills without resistance, but refused to eat the little bread Nan Changgeng had bought on the way back.

“Why won’t you eat? You didn’t eat breakfast this morning either, did you? And you didn’t eat anything at noon in the hospital either.”

Nan Changgeng hadn’t spent much time with Yu Mao after all, and she truly hadn’t realized her aversion to food was this severe.

She frowned, opened the wrapper to sniff it, then pushed it under Yu Mao’s nose. “Smell it. It has a really nice milky scent. Try it. Maybe you’ll like it.”

Yu Mao sat on the edge of the bed, set down her water cup, and obediently sniffed it. She nodded in agreement. “It smells very good.”

She took the little bread.

Nan Changgeng had just started to breathe easier when she saw Yu Mao break off a tiny piece, lift her face, and hold it toward Nan Changgeng’s lips.

Half stunned, she subconsciously opened her mouth and ate it.

Soft, milky-sweet; it really did taste good.

She saw the girl’s eyes light up, her toes lifting and swaying from side to side. Though her face hardly changed, she radiated unmistakable delight, even the strands of her hair seeming happy.

Then she couldn’t bear to stop that joy. She watched the bread be broken piece by piece until it all went into her stomach.

So this was the happiness of feeding someone…

She had come to feed the cat, only to be fed by the cat instead.

Yu Mao stared at her intently, watching her swallow the last bite of bread. She casually tossed the empty wrapper aside, then suddenly flopped onto the bed and rolled twice like a worm.

“……”

She hadn’t made a sound, but Nan Changgeng somehow heard a giggle in her head.

“Hey!” she said, both amused and exasperated, lightly smacking Yu Mao’s calf. “What was that supposed to mean?”

Yu Mao burrowed around in the bedding, then propped herself up on her arms and climbed up to kneel on the bed. Her small face, already lacking color, had even taken on a faint blush.

She pressed her lips together, lifted her eyes to Nan Changgeng, judged her degree of acceptance toward her for one second, and finally chose to follow her heart’s desire.

Carefully, she took one of the woman’s fingers, bent down, and rested her forehead against Nan Changgeng’s hand, rubbing gently.

It was a catlike gesture, but so tender and precious that the affection it carried far exceeded a cat’s nuzzle.

It felt as if a spark had licked across Nan Changgeng’s heart. Her eyelashes trembled without pause, and she unconsciously held her breath.

Even after Yu Mao let go and backed away, she remained dazed for a long time, her expression blank with shock, unable to say a single word.

And Yu Mao had already gotten off the bed to go brew milk.