Dolls

After the first quiz ended, the rankings were announced.

Flying Flower’s team took first place overall. With two Class A team leaders on their side, they had an obvious advantage.

Lin Baiyu’s team came in second. Their group included dance routines, which gave them a boost in scoring.

Nan Changgeng’s team placed third. Although their leader had the highest individual score, the members she had chosen were weaker vocally. For Nan to have personally tutored them and pushed them through a crash course this far was already impressive.

Fourth and fifth went to Deng Cheng’s team and Wei Zhiyu’s team. Their total scores were separated by just two points, so they were practically neck and neck. It wasn’t an unexpected result; after all, both groups had somewhat weaker overall strength.

As for Chen You, she accepted an interview with the production crew. The things she had never dared to say out loud, once she realized she had the ability to run away, could no longer be held in.

She had already made up her mind. Once she left the show, she would go back to the city where her university was and not return home. Her documents and luggage were all with her, and she hadn’t left anything important at home, so she could cut ties cleanly.

There was only half a semester left until graduation. After college, she would move to another city to find work, and as long as she didn’t go back on her own, no one would be able to find her.

With one major issue resolved, Chen You no longer hovered around Nan Changgeng asking questions, but she became even clingier.

Maybe it was the reassuring maturity Nan Changgeng gave off; she was especially appealing to people prone to anxiety, giving the impression that as long as she was there, nothing couldn’t be solved.

On the surface, that did seem to be true. She was strong, mature, gentle, and steady.

Even the shyest girls among the contestants liked talking to her. Over the past few days, a good half of Nan Changgeng’s time had been spent handling all kinds of social interactions.

This quiz had eliminated five contestants, and four of them ran over to cry in her arms. The fifth couldn’t squeeze in, and before leaving could only reluctantly ask for an autograph, which Nan signed on her white sweatshirt.

Only Yu Mao was different.

What the contestants saw was always the composure and calm she showed in front of everyone else, but Yu Mao always stood behind her, observing her from the smallest details.

That back seemed broad, as if it only looked strong because of the way her clothes filled out her frame; in reality, she was thin to the point of fragility, covered in scars, the kind that could draw blood with even a light scratch.

She hid her pain in the deepest shadow. Only lifeless nights could pry it loose, grinding at her sleep again and again.

Chen You had suffered harm at the hands of her family; how was Nan Changgeng any different?

Some pasts were too dangerous to remember in public.

So Yu Mao only watched, only listened, letting the flood of noisy information wash over her and quickly pass through, not allowing it to linger for too long.

After the quiz ended, Yu Mao trailed five or six meters behind Nan Changgeng, watching her walk ahead while softly comforting the contestants crying over their reluctance to part.

Her back was straight, her mind calm and settled, completely unaffected by other people’s emotions. She looked like an elder soothing children who were crying over something as small as someone stealing someone else’s candy.

Her manner was always very good; kind, gentle, equally patient with everyone. And yet it felt as if there were a thin membrane separating her from everyone else. No matter how hard people tried to reach her, it was all futile; she was so firmly closed off that it seemed no one would ever truly be able to move her heart.

A group of little girls who had only just met her would not leave much of an impression on her heart.

But Yu Mao never thought about those things.

Yu Mao only looked at her, at the side of her face when she turned her head; the deep contours, the corners of her lips slightly upturned, her skin cold and white as snow, her brows and eyes blurred by the backlight.

At her smooth, dark hair hanging neatly above her shoulders, making Yu Mao think of glossy black sesame seeds, think of the fragrance and silkiness of shampoo, think of reflected ripples on water under a cloudless blue sky...

She couldn’t help but lose herself; she couldn’t help but keep watching.

In the corridor, as she passed the restroom, a hand suddenly grabbed Yu Mao’s arm, and a force from the side pulled her sideways.

Her vision shifted in a daze, from Nan Changgeng’s back to the tiled wall of the restroom.

“..."

Yu Mao was very unhappy.

She turned her head and saw the face of a mixed-race girl, dotted with freckles.

Yirui An was unhappy too. The resentment in her light brown eyes was practically spilling over.

“Why do you like Teacher Nan so much? Don’t you pay attention when other people want to be friends with you?”

She wasn’t a particularly patient person. Spoiled since childhood, she was naïve and restless, and it seemed she still hadn’t grown out of her childishness. These four days of being met with cold shoulders after offering a warm face had already pushed her to her limit.

Today, she had to get an answer to this, no matter whether it was good or bad. She couldn’t keep dragging it out.

“She’s barely even talked to you. Stop following her around all the time; can’t you just like me instead?”

Yirui An stared at her stubbornly, meeting her gaze without flinching.

Yu Mao said nothing, and she didn’t look away either.

This was the longest staring contest the two of them had ever had.

Or rather, this was the first time Yu Mao had truly been looking at her, instead of merely letting her eyes rest there while her mind wandered elsewhere.

Time ticked by in tiny drops.

The stubbornness in Yirui An’s eyes gradually faded, replaced by a hint of uneasy shock.

It seemed she was also seeing Yu Mao’s eyes clearly for the first time, seeing the eyes of Yu Mao the “person.”

Not like looking at the glass eyes of a doll and merely admiring how beautiful they were.

She took half a step back, then suddenly, horrifyingly realized that in those pure catlike eyes, like colored glaze, there was only absolute emptiness. Even though her own reflection was mirrored there, it was as if nothing was there at all.

Did Yu Mao... really see her?

In an instant, coldness shot straight to her bones, and her scalp prickled.

The veil obscured by liking suddenly dropped away; all the confusion clouding her mind vanished. Only then did she finally understand why the other contestants always found Yu Mao frightening and eerie, and dared not get close.

The more sensitive contestants had long since gotten used to keeping their distance. Even Liu Yuanxi, who shared a dorm room with Yu Mao, had complained to her before that no matter what, the moment she got close to Yu Mao she felt chilled all over.

Only the duller ones, like Yuan Li and Lin Baiyu, didn’t feel much and didn’t care.

Living person... doll...

She had really liked her BJD doll very much before; she had even dreamed of making it come alive.

So when she saw the shadow of a doll in Yu Mao, she couldn’t help becoming obsessed with Yu Mao. Even Yu Mao’s attitude toward Nan Changgeng fit perfectly with her fantasies.

A carefully raised doll suddenly gaining a soul one night and offering all its loyalty to its owner...

The only flaw was that she wasn’t Yu Mao’s “owner,” and Yu Mao’s “loyalty” had been given to someone else. She wanted to snatch that doll away.

And she believed that aside from herself, there was no second person who could perceive and appreciate this charm in Yu Mao.

That Nan Changgeng was obviously someone who didn’t watch anime or play in fandoms, and wouldn’t understand this kind of bond or feeling at all. She could never enjoy this kind of happiness; keeping Yu Mao for her was simply a waste!

But Yu Mao’s attitude toward everyone except Nan Changgeng was too cold, leaving not even a crack for anyone to slip through. That gave her no hope at all, and her patience ran out, so she rashly went to Yu Mao and laid everything bare.

Only at this moment, staring into those eyes, did Yirui An finally feel fear.

It was as if she were truly seeing what a doll brought to life looked like: empty, inorganic, lacking humanity... this was the real living doll, completely different from what she had imagined.

And she didn’t want the doll to come alive at all.

Yu Mao would never belong to her; she finally understood that.

The naïve girl was abruptly torn out of her fantasy by fear.

“I... I’m going now. Pretend you never heard any of that,” Yirui An said, lowering her head as she hurriedly went around Yu Mao and fled.

Yu Mao blinked slowly, her mind unruffled, and turned to leave the restroom. Nan Changgeng was already nowhere to be seen outside, so she prepared to go upstairs and back to the dorm.

She could understand Yirui An’s words, but she couldn’t give a response. The other girl’s existence was like a vague phantom; she had to concentrate very hard just to look at her. It was exhausting.

Besides, she didn’t have any extra feelings to give her.

By now, the livestream barrage had already exploded.

[Oh my god, Xiao An is so blunt. This is way too... does she even remember she’s filming a show?]

[These foreign girls are so open...]

[So does this count as a confession? I think her intentions are pretty obvious.]

[Isn’t that fine? Yirui An said she wanted to be friends; she didn’t say she was gay and in love with Yu Mao.]

[But she’s obviously jealous over Nan Changgeng. Would she act like this if she just wanted to be friends?]

[I think this is normal too. Yu Mao won’t spare an extra glance for anyone other than Nan Changgeng. Being pushed to this point just to make friends is totally reasonable.]

[Anyway, you all just don’t want to ship it, right...]

[Cough, yeah, I really can’t ship it. Who told my girl to have her whole heart set on Nan Changgeng? A mother can’t arrange her daughter’s marriage on her own...]

[Exactly, exactly. And Little Cat never said anything in the end, so isn’t the refusal obvious enough? Yirui An already backed off; what’s there to ship?]

Yu Mao didn’t know she had gained a group of reasonable moms.

As soon as she went upstairs, she happened to run into the five eliminated contestants packing their luggage and heading out; among them was Sun Xiaoju, who had previously been on her team.

A crowd of people had gathered around the five of them for one last farewell.

Yu Mao glanced over briefly and didn’t see Nan Changgeng, so she went around them and returned to the dorm.

The others all noticed her, but none of them dared to greet her or stop her. Even the sadness of parting was dispersed quite a bit.

The suddenly silent scene looked somewhat comical.

...

After the quiz ended, there wasn’t much time to rest before they had to hurry into preparations for the first public stage.

The first performance in front of a live audience was much harder than singing a song in front of the mentors and contestants. It wasn’t just about singing well; stage design, movement, whether to add dance, and the entire styling package all affected the final presentation.

It was especially demanding for sing-dance performers. In the same week, they had to practice singing and dancing, and without real skill, no one would dare touch it.

Just after lunch ended, all the contestants gathered in the first-floor lobby. After the mentors finished reading out the rules and precautions, they began selecting songs and submitting their choices in a rush. Those with duo stages also began looking for partners.

Yu Mao was still in Class C. To perform in the first public stage, she needed to find a team, and since she didn’t have an original song, she had to choose a vocal track from the program’s song list.

She wasn’t sure how long she could stay in this show. Based on her understanding of how little she was liked, this week might be her last.

So she didn’t plan to waste too much time on the stage, and she wouldn’t take the initiative to find someone to team up with.