Chapter 57

The earliest message was sent at six that morning. Two hours later, seeing no reply from Wu Ying, another came through: "Are you okay? I noticed you didn't send money this month."

Wu Ying's face darkened instantly. "Is this a debt collection?"

After leaving Yun 8 Star, she'd originally planned to cut ties with them, but since she was using their daughter's body, she'd made a point of transferring money to them on time every month.

It was enough to sustain their lives. They had a son's tuition to cover, and that marriage fund alone wouldn't last them long.

Her choosing to give was one thing—but how dare they come asking?

Wu Ying fumed, fingers already poised to type a reply. No, wait—if she responded, wouldn't she be playing right into their hands?

She took a breath to calm herself and moved on to the next voice message. Xia Li seemed to realize bringing up money had been a misstep, as if trying to make up for it: "The Commander is in a special situation, and we can't afford to offend him. Whatever you do, don't lose your temper with him."

We? Now she was lumping Wu Ying back in with them.

"So annoying!"

Asher was annoyed too. This wretched warship—why couldn't they just get home already?

Wu Ying was restless, finding fault with everything in sight, and the one person who could soothe her wasn't here.

Meteors streaked past the hull. The warship had entered the defensive star's range. Beta Star's port stood at full alert, and Wu Ying stared blankly at the vaguely familiar starfield.

A sound came from the doorway, and Wu Ying turned—it was Asher, of course.

"Where did you go?"

As soon as he stepped into the room, a throw pillow came flying at him. He caught it in one hand, tilting his head toward Wu Ying. She was clenching her fists, chest heaving, eyes blazing like clusters of fireworks.

A glint passed through his eyes as he advanced step by step, pillow in hand.

"I was handling military affairs. What's wrong?"

Handling military affairs? Wu Ying scoffed, circling him in inspection. "Busy, were you? From morning to afternoon—five whole hours—you couldn't spare a single moment to reply to my messages, and we're on the same ship! How could you just walk off like that?!"

By the end, the more she thought about it, the angrier she got. She reached out and jabbed him in the chest, once, twice.

"Is your heart made of stone?"

She kept poking him, stepping closer. Asher backed up and caught her hand. "Of course not. You're safe in my room; nothing will happen."

"Is that what I'm talking about? Your wife is stuck alone on this cold, ruthless warship, and you don't even care whether I'm doing alright?"

Her voice turned tearful, eyes glistening. "Let go of me, you heartless man!"

Seeing her cry, Asher finally realized how serious this was. He'd read her messages—all of them asking whether he was done, where he was, that she was bored...

"Are you not doing well?"

He reached out to pat her head, but she smacked his hand away.

Wu Ying stared at him defiantly. They stood just a step apart, locking eyes in a silent standoff. Her round eyes glared at the man before her—his sharply angled military cap, the cold silver glint of his insignia, everything about him seeming alien and stern.

His dark eyes revealed nothing. She watched him; he watched her.

She couldn't tell what he was thinking, and the longer she looked, the angrier she grew until her mind went blank.

"Can't you see for yourself how I'm doing?" Wu Ying spat, lunging for his cap. She wanted to muss him up.

He caught her soft hand, his warm thumb pressing against her wrist. Then, of his own accord, he removed his cap and took her hand. "I'm sorry. Military matters demanded my attention. We're almost home—we'll talk once we're back."

It was true; they were nearly there. The warship's speed bled off as Beta Star's port opened wide to receive Asher. Wu Ying walked behind him, a squad of guards trailing them, while long rows of soldiers stood at attention on either side.

The atmosphere was solemn and imposing. Wu Ying glanced around briefly and then stopped looking.

The bitterness in her chest churned into mud under the oppressive weight around her, dragging all her emotions down to the bottom. Asher no longer held her hand once they left the ship; he simply walked ahead in silence, steady and unhurried. His heavy, solid footsteps echoed through the port, and Wu Ying counted each one as she advanced.

Off the warship, onto a hover vehicle. A sea of dark figures packed into the "box," and the vehicle shot upward, heading for the family quarters.

Wu Ying said nothing, leaning against the window in a daze, gaze unfocused as towering buildings swept past. Her understanding of Beta Star seemed to end there—clean streets, solid edifices, a sky always glinting with starlight, and finally, the lone villa standing apart.

Asher glanced sideways at her. She was unnervingly quiet. She'd been all fire and fury interrogating him earlier, and now she was so still she seemed to be holding even her breath in check.

The warship had already confirmed its landing coordinates with the port. Asher couldn't keep all these people waiting for him for nothing.

His fingers twitched, a motion conspicuous enough in the cramped, silent space. Sensing Meng Ke's gaze shift toward him, Asher composed himself.

Wu Ying had sunk into her own world. She kept replaying the moment Asher stepped off the warship—how everyone had lowered their heads in unison, and how, just seconds before, she'd been pressed against his chest shouting at him. It was as if, in an instant, he'd become an untouchable deity.

All her emotions suddenly felt unjustified. In that environment, it seemed the only way to exist was to blend in as one of the figures behind him. Even so, she still felt questioning gazes from every direction, as if asking: What right does she have to stand there?

Am I just being too dramatic?

Wu Ying blinked, swallowing the sudden sting in her eyes. She wanted some air. Leaning back, she began to argue with herself before she'd even moved: The hover vehicle is fast—windows can't open; maybe there's a breeze mode... Forget it, I'll just stay quiet.

"Commander, we've arrived."

The atmosphere in the vehicle was terrifyingly tense. Meng Ke sat in the driver's seat, hardly daring to breathe—he could tell something was off between Wu Ying and Asher. At the villa's entrance, Meng Ke got out first, with Wu Ying last. Asher moved to help her, but she quickly jumped down, sidestepping him and falling back a step to stand quietly behind him.

Asher said nothing; only Meng Ke's voice came through as he gave orders to the guard unit. Wu Ying kept her head down, and when she heard Asher say "Let's go," she lifted her feet and followed.

Back in familiar surroundings, Wu Ying let out a quiet breath of relief. She changed her shoes in silence, not looking at Asher standing nearby. He'd expected her to blow up once they got home, but Wu Ying didn't say a single word—she acted as if he didn't exist, heading straight for the bedroom.

Asher took off his coat and trailed behind her. Her steps were small and slow, and he frowned, uncertain of what was going through her mind. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again, opting for silence.

Wu Ying walked into the room and shut the door behind her with a soft click, sealing him out.

Was she angry? But why was she so quiet?

Asher placed his hand on the doorknob. The slightest push would open it, but he hesitated. He stared at the door—in his mind, he saw Wu Ying storming out in fury, or maybe he saw nothing at all.

The door remained a silent stretch of white. Asher dropped his hand and walked away from the threshold.

The guest room door opened and closed. In the master bedroom, Wu Ying collapsed onto the bed, a vague silhouette in the dim light. She hid beneath the covers, half her face peeking out, eyes fixed on the doorway.

The room's soundproofing and blackout were excellent, so she couldn't guess Asher's movements from footsteps or cracks of light. All she could do was stare blankly.

After what felt like an eternity, her eyes ached from strain. She squeezed them shut, and two streams of tears rolled down from the corners, gliding past the tip of her nose, as soft as clouds.

Wu Ying didn't think she was angry. Her sadness was plain enough to see, and yet Asher had somehow managed to ignore it completely.

The grief in her heart piled up like a mountain, and if the rain fell any harder, it would trigger a mudslide.

Wu Ying bit her finger, faint weeping seeping out from under the blanket.

She'd never been one to wallow in melancholy. In her own self-assessment, she was easygoing and optimistic—perhaps with a sprinkle of willfulness and pampered petulance. But whenever she thought of Asher, she knew she was anything but easygoing! Anything but optimistic!

The past rose like a small hill—she didn't need to look up to see it.

She cared deeply about what Asher's mother had said; every word implied she didn't measure up. She was also furious about Ivy telling her she'd never have had a chance to meet Asher in the first place. And then there was the sudden reappearance of her mother, Xia Li...

Every one of them insisted Wu Ying and Asher could never be together, each trying to tear him away from her. They all brought their own degree of trouble and the same kind of hurt—wounding the heart that had begun to stir for him.

The heart she loved him with was insecure and sensitive; even a rustle of wind or a stir of grass became a quake that made her shrink back, anxious and uneasy.

As the sutra said: From love comes worry; from love comes fear...

Wu Ying threw off the blankets in a sudden burst. Her face was flushed red, and her eyes were swollen to slits. Sniffling, she crawled out of bed, grabbed a change of sleepwear, and stumbled into the bathroom.

In the mirror, a woman with disheveled hair and red eyes—red that spread across nearly her entire face. Wu Ying reached up and touched her eyelids; they were hot to the touch.

She washed her hands and slapped her cheeks lightly. Originally, her goal had just been to use Asher to climb up in the world—to get a fresh start and a new opportunity. So what was she doing now?

She wanted Asher to like her. She wanted him to spoil her. Whenever he was too busy to reply to her messages, she'd fly into a rage. She'd lost count of how many times she'd fought with him over his disappearances, though her temper always flared up and faded just as fast. Wu Ying understood that Asher's line of work was unique, and today, that truth had hammered itself back into her mind.

So what was she doing now? The sting spread through her eyes as Wu Ying stared at her reflection, feeling both pathetic and ridiculous. She knew exactly how her past outbursts differed from the one she'd just had. Before, it had just been for fun, or simply to remind Asher of her status as his wife. Now? She was like a house cat, hurling cups to the floor just to snatch a scrap of attention.

But who was she, really? Just as everyone said—someone who never should have crossed paths with him, someone who got lucky... Wu Ying squeezed her fingers, lips twisting, and added under her breath, "Someone who never really had much sincerity to begin with."

She had no grounds to ask anything of him, after all.

Her thoughts spiraled out of control, and when she snapped back to herself, two fresh tear tracks had cut through the dampness on her face. Wu Ying wiped them away with her hand and shook her head. "Stop thinking. Take a shower and calm down."

If one is freed from love, there is neither worry nor fear.

As for liking him—it was just the suspension bridge effect at work. Right. If she thought about it carefully, Asher was the first man she'd ever met in this world. Add in the facts that he was handsome, powerful, and always showed up when she didn't know what to do... that was all. It was a normal physiological reaction. If it had been any other man, she probably would have fallen for him just the same!

Yes, exactly.

Wu Ying dried her hair, finally having talked herself into it.

See? A clearheaded, optimistic person like her would never fall into some man's trap.

With her mood patched up, Wu Ying pushed open the door. Steam dispersed in the breeze of her movement. The room was brightly lit, her big bed warm and cozy.

Wait—she hadn't turned on the light.

She stepped forward a few paces, and Asher, who'd been hidden in the blind spot, came into view. He sat on the sofa, hands resting on his knees. The moment she appeared, his gaze snapped to her, and those deep eyes seemed to brighten for an instant.

"You're done washing up. I poured you some juice; you should like it."

Wu Ying glanced at the glass on the side table, then turned back. Asher stood before her, head slightly lowered. Maybe it was the soft light, but his expression looked gentle.

She stared at him, and the drums in her ears thundered. Before she could process what was happening, tears spilled down her cheeks. The man in front of her blurred, yet in her heart, he'd never been clearer.

"What's wrong?"

Asher stepped closer, tentatively reaching up to cup her face. His fingers brushed away the tears, his voice rough. "Still angry with me? You've been off since we left the ship."

She'd never hidden her emotions from him. When others provoked her outside, she'd just complain internally, but with Asher, she'd always repaid grievances with grievances—even picking fights when he wasn't at fault.

Her quietness unnerved him. Asher closed the distance, letting his arms fall around her in a gentle embrace. Wu Ying didn't resist, and once he realized that, he tightened his hold.

Asher circled her, wanting to pull her even closer. As her emotions gradually settled, she pressed a hand against his chest when he leaned in. Lifting her head, she caught the cautious look in his eyes.

Cautious? Wu Ying lowered her gaze and pushed him back a little, telling herself she must have imagined it. She didn't want to face him right now.

She tried to leave, but Asher caught her arm. "Why won't you talk? We still have unresolved issues between us. Let's discuss them."

"I don't want to talk. I'm tired. I need to rest."

Wu Ying frowned and pulled free from his grip. Unresolved issues—he must mean their fight on the warship. But right now, she didn't even have the energy to argue, let alone talk.

"It won't take long. Do you need a nutrient supplement?"

Asher offered sincerely, and Wu Ying's eyes flew wide. This animal—couldn't he take a hint? And suggesting nutrient supplements, of all things.

She turned her head, anger rising only to sink just as fast, because the instant she'd looked back at him, his eyes had lit up. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"No need. I'll be fine after some rest."

"Don't be angry. It's my fault for leaving you alone in the room. Want to hit me to let off steam?" Asher caught her arm again, straight back to this morning's business.

He still thought the problem was that he hadn't let her finish venting earlier.

Yanked back by him, torn between anger and hurt, Wu Ying twisted her wrist to break free, but his grip was firm.

"I'm in a bad mood right now, okay? Can we talk tomorrow?"

Her voice trembled with tears. She was a mess, a whole heap of pessimism bottled up inside. If she talked to Asher now, she'd fall apart, and it would just become another one-sided fight.

"I know. I want you to feel better." He didn't want her going to sleep angry.

Wu Ying felt like she couldn't breathe through her nose; she opened her mouth and exhaled heavily. "Asher," she rasped, eyes swimming with tears, "you're so annoying!"

The last words came out as a shout. Asher had been panicking over her tears, and the next second, she shoved him hard. He wavered for just a moment before yielding to the push, toppling onto the sofa, his long legs dragging half off the edge.

The little sofa in the master bedroom wasn't big. It fit Wu Ying perfectly when she curled her legs up—cozy and enveloping, which was why she loved it. Asher, naturally tall and broad, didn't fit; he'd been able to sit on it, and now he lay sprawled across it, collar loose, pale chest visible, phoenix eyes half-lidded as he watched her.

Wu Ying's temper flared, and she'd knocked him down in a flash—but Asher had kept hold of her hand the whole time, and the moment he fell, he pulled her down with him.

The small sofa bore the weight of two. It screeched as it scraped across the floor.

"Sorry. Feel a bit better now?"

Asher stroked her head, voice low, the vibrations of his speech traveling through his chest and into hers where she lay on top of him.

"No! Not even a little!"

Wu Ying pounded on him with her free hand.

Even as he apologized, Asher's stubbornness hadn't wavered. He clung to the belief that she was still angry about this morning, and he was determined to resolve it quickly—no matter what she said, he'd hold onto her.

"Then what will make it better?"

She didn't know. Maybe nothing ever would. Wu Ying had thought about it plenty, but every path seemed to lead back to her having no right to feel this way. She couldn't change how others saw her, and she couldn't change her situation with Asher—at least not now.

They held each other, trading warmth.

Asher released her wrist, then closed both arms around her fully, pulling her against him. The weight of her pressed into his chest, and he found it... comfortable.

He lowered his voice, the timbre softening. "You can tell me the reason. We'll figure it out together." His warm palm traced down her spine, and Wu Ying trembled. "I'm someone who can share your feelings." Then he added, "Share your emotions."

But emotions were the one thing no one could truly share. Each person's unique mind and circumstances made their feelings impossible to pin down or pass along.

Wu Ying thought: I can't even express myself properly—how could Asher possibly feel what I feel?

He'd said nothing but empty words, all grand and righteous. Yet he held her so tightly, as if every bit of it were heartfelt.

She lay against his chest, gaze drifting into the void. Her amber eyes shone like polished glass as she blinked, thoughts wandering, body soft and still.

Asher waited for her answer. After a while, he sat up, cradling her like a stuffed animal, Wu Ying curled in his arms.

"Still unhappy? Why?"

"I can't be happy. Do you have to manage my emotions too? I can't even manage them myself." Her voice faded as she spoke, too drained even to be angry.

"I thought it was because of me. Want to hit me to let it out?"

Wu Ying couldn't help but look up and shoot him a glare. So Asher refused to accept cold-shoulder treatment and preferred direct violence?

"Fine. Give me your hand."

Asher obediently extended his arm. Wu Ying snatched it, sunk her teeth in, and bit down hard. She felt his muscles tense out of reflex, then deliberately relax. His arm was taut with definition, and she bit until a faint trace of iron touched her tongue.

"It's bleeding."

She let go of his arm and looked up at him, a vivid streak of red at the corner of her mouth.

Asher didn't even glance at the wound. He simply watched her, face as calm as still water—except for the faint ripple in his dark eyes.

On his arm lay six neat tooth marks, blood beading at the puncture points where her canines had sunk in. Wu Ying wiped them away, then smeared the mess onto his clothes.

Satisfied after being bitten, Asher seemed to decide that was enough. He didn't stop her when she got up, and once she climbed into bed, he quietly followed.

The blankets folded and unfolded, and the two silhouettes slowly overlapped again.

Summer vacation officially began. The group chat fell quiet, everyone maintaining a polite distance, while the smaller chats were probably buzzing with messages.

Wu Ying watched the dorm group explode like firecrackers and silently guessed everyone else was keeping up their "calm and composed" personas.

"Seriously, no one's tempted? This is the most beautiful snow season in Tuotuo Star history! Check the pics!" Cynthia dropped a pile of photos and videos. Tuotuo Star—fittingly named, with little hills stacked one after another.

"Why are you so free?"

Huo Lin's signature light mockery made an appearance. She was sincerely asking, really, but with her usual expression and tone, Wu Ying always felt it carried a hint of sarcasm.

Wu Ying opened the photos full-size. They really were beautiful—silver and white everywhere, the world blanketed in thick snow. Skiing, hot springs... It seemed no different from before.

Pretty, but not tempting.

Wu Ying replied, "But we just got home. You want to go out again?" She didn't feel like moving, and she wanted to prepare for the qualification exam.

Cynthia was losing it in the chat. She'd just gotten home, but the house was practically empty—her parents were busy with work and never came back. The place felt hollow, and used to being around Wu Ying and the others, she suddenly felt out of sorts.

"Wu Ying, you're not going to run experiments too, are you? Su Yi's already vanished into her work—you and Lin Lin can't abandon me!"

"I'm not doing experiments, but my family's assigned me some tasks. Tsk, can't get away." Huo Lin's voice carried a hint of irritation.

Wu Ying listened and sent back a voice message: "I have no plans for experiments for now." She glanced at her greenhouse and nodded firmly, adding, "But I'm planning to study for the qualification exam."