Chapter 74

The stark contrast of black and white split the scene in two; her body came rolling down through the crystalline droplets, and in a split second, Sheng Huaixi had already lunged over and pinned her down.

“Sheng Huaixi, calm down.” Jiang Chao raised a hand. Their joined palms pressed against Sheng Huaixi’s shoulder, stopping her movement.

As her body relaxed, Jiang Chao gently pushed the enlarged face in front of her a little farther away. The breath that had been trapped in her chest slowly eased out.

Using their clasped hands, she brushed Sheng Huaixi’s shoulder, then looked straight at her and made a slow, firm promise.

“I’m only going back to confirm a few things; I’ll come back.”

Their eyes locked. Seeing the flicker of unease in Sheng Huaixi’s gaze, Jiang Chao pressed her lips together and added, “I swear.”

There were some things Jiang Chao had to go back to England and see with her own eyes before she could truly believe them.

This wasn’t only about her; it was also about Sheng Huaixi.

And precisely because Sheng Huaixi was involved, Jiang Chao had to face it and find out what her own choice really was.

What, exactly, was Sheng Huaixi to her?

That was the first thought that had flashed through Jiang Chao’s mind just now when she saw Sheng Huaixi’s helpless, sorrowful back. Because of that, the foot she had lifted had come to a stop right there.

Yes, she was a friend. But the thought that had crossed her mind in that instant, when she’d wanted to go comfort Sheng Huaixi, didn’t seem like enough.

Watching Sheng Huaixi turn toward her at the sound of her voice, tears glittering in those dark pupils, Jiang Chao felt something in her own heart—not just tears, but a quiet, piercing ache—about to break loose.

She had never felt heartache so clearly.

It was like swallowing an unripe sour orange in winter; the astringent taste spread across her teeth, and the cold that followed the swallow was like snow pouring over her, freezing her to the bone and making her want to cry from the inside out.

Her eyes stung. Jiang Chao nearly let tears fall with them.

Just as her wrist lifted, she lowered her gaze and was about to draw the person into her arms. She thought—

She wanted to kiss the tears from Sheng Huaixi’s eyes.

Don’t cry.

In her heart, Jiang Chao knew very well that if she really kissed her, Sheng Huaixi would be happy; those peach-blossom eyes that resembled her own might curve into a beautiful galaxy in the very next second.

It would be a hundred times more dazzling than the tears in her eyes now.

But what Jiang Chao was even more certain of was this: she couldn’t do that.

Sheng Huaixi already had that inexplicable but stubborn fixation on her; the desire burning in that gaze was so hot it was frightening. If she really kissed her...

Jiang Chao couldn’t take responsibility for that now.

So when Sheng Huaixi cried, Jiang Chao could only open her arms and hold her, reach out to wipe away her sorrow, and leave the rest to helplessness.

Keep asking her what it is she’s so afraid of, Jiang Chao thought.

What kind of person was she, tearing open someone else’s wound like that? Making her cry, then not even being able to comfort her properly.

Kiss her to make her happy, Jiang Chao thought; but after kissing her, she’d still say she didn’t like her. There was no doubt she’d be a scumbag.

...

After turning it over and over in her mind, Jiang Chao suddenly came to a realization at that moment.

The thoughts she had once timidly circled around herself had become the sharpest blade instead. Every pang of pity she felt for Sheng Huaixi now was another stab into her own heart.

The newly formed wound itched unbearably, and even Jiang Chao looking at Sheng Huaixi couldn’t help but feel that same itch in her heart.

Faint, slight, but always there, urging Jiang Chao again and again to move closer; to take responsibility for her heartbeat.

“Sheng Huaixi, listen to me.” Jiang Chao patted her gently. Her gaze was warm, her voice slow, carrying a soothing steadiness that made people want to believe her.

The motion of her arm stirred the water around them, splashing against their skin before flying up and falling back down.

One hand was offered to Sheng Huaixi to hold onto her unease; the other, after a long hesitation, Jiang Chao finally lifted and slowly brushed across Sheng Huaixi’s cheek.

After hearing what she’d said, Sheng Huaixi suddenly moved closer. The splashed water soaked the loose strands of hair that had fallen down, and the fine wet strands clung to Sheng Huaixi’s face.

Jiang Chao picked the hair off her face bit by bit, her lips parting as she spoke her thoughts.

“I’m just going back to look at a few things; something... I don’t know whether it’s still there. Maybe it’s changed, or maybe it hasn’t and is still the same.”

“Some of the things you want to hear, maybe—I’m only saying maybe—after I come back from England, I’ll tell you.”

As her words came out slowly, Jiang Chao tugged at the strands of hair, her gaze shifting little by little as she narrowed her eyes. She sorted through her thoughts piece by piece, then hesitantly said them out loud.

Her lips opened and closed; Jiang Chao blinked, and the gaze fixed on her face burned so intensely it made one’s heart tremble.

Those eyes followed every movement of hers closely, deep and bright, an unwavering fixation that flickered left and right without changing.

While she was pinching away the hair on Sheng Huaixi’s face, Jiang Chao occasionally darted a glance over. She met a pool of dark, bottomless eyes; the blackness there was so dense it seemed impossible to melt away.

Her fingertips trembled and sank into the soft flesh of her cheek. Jiang Chao shivered again, but it was precisely the softness beneath her fingers that helped her gather her thoughts once more.

Looking at the pale, cool face before her, the corners of Jiang Chao’s mouth lifted almost imperceptibly. When she looked up again and met Sheng Huaixi’s eyes, Sheng Huaixi suddenly asked, “Are you going back to look for your ex?”

All the thoughts in Jiang Chao’s head were thrown into chaos again by that one sentence. She stared at her blankly.

“? What ex am I supposed to have?”

Jiang Chao genuinely didn’t understand where Sheng Huaixi had gotten that from, but that didn’t stop her from answering clearly based on what she knew of Sheng Huaixi.

“Sheng Huaixi, my dating history is blank.” Jiang Chao repeated.

“Good.”

The moment Sheng Huaixi said that, the smile blooming on her face told Jiang Chao the alarm could be lifted. Clearly, that sentence had satisfied her.

And more than that, she even seemed to be in high spirits.

The smile Jiang Chao had imagined appeared beneath her eyes as she watched. The hand she had originally placed there to comfort her was now approached by Sheng Huaixi herself; in Jiang Chao’s widened gaze, Sheng Huaixi leaned in and rubbed against it.

Cheek and palm pressed and brushed against each other. Sheng Huaixi lifted her eyes, and Jiang Chao could clearly see that the stubbornness at the bottom of those eyes had quietly melted away, replaced by some inexplicable delight.

“You’re happy?” Jiang Chao carefully poked Sheng Huaixi’s cheek.

Sheng Huaixi rubbed against her, eyes narrowing as she nodded.

Really happy?

Jiang Chao didn’t understand; Sheng Huaixi’s thoughts were always hard to guess. She only needed to see that Sheng Huaixi was no longer drowning in the sorrow from before; that was enough.

“Then when I go back to England, you have to take good care of yourself.”

Jiang Chao pinched Sheng Huaixi’s cheek, the corners of her mouth lifting slightly.

At those words, Sheng Huaixi’s lips unconsciously drooped, and the joy in her eyes quietly sank back down.

Her fingertips brushed over the back of Jiang Chao’s hand again and again. Sheng Huaixi wanted to say no, wanted to refuse without hesitation, but...

She wanted to gamble.

The expression in Jiang Chao’s eyes as she spoke was gentle, yet it carried some unknown uncertainty. When she looked at her, that uncertainty would turn into guesswork, melting within Jiang Chao’s gaze.

And what moved Sheng Huaixi most of all was the thing Jiang Chao had just said—the words she wanted to hear.

What were the words she wanted to hear?

I like you. I’ll never leave you.

Either one was something Sheng Huaixi longed for deeply.

For that, Sheng Huaixi was willing to make a huge bet.

“Okay.”

Jiang Chao, this time, you absolutely have to come back and find me.

Staring fixedly at Jiang Chao’s face, madness on the edge of death surged in Sheng Huaixi’s eyes.