Chapter 43

“Are you hurt?”

Xie Tinglan’s voice was hoarse, almost breaking. Her lips trembled again, and for that brief moment, it seemed as if she might shatter along with them.

Ye Rui followed Xie Tinglan’s gaze to the hem of her own clothes and only then noticed that she had gotten blood on herself while helping Zhuang Linglong just now. She hurriedly explained, “I’m not—Xie Tinglan!”

Ye Rui and Yin Yue caught Xie Tinglan as she fainted. Ye Rui’s heart lurched; almost by instinct, she scooped Xie Tinglan into her arms and charged into the residence like a bull.

“Dawn! Dawn! Xie Tinglan fainted!”

Ye Rui didn’t even know where Dawn was. She just shouted first and dealt with the rest later; if Dawn was in the residence, she would definitely hear the commotion.

All the way, Ye Rui rushed toward Tinglan Pavilion. Only after holding Xie Tinglan in her arms did she realize that her body temperature was much higher than usual; she was clearly running a fever. Seeing that pale face, the tight furrow between her brows, and the faint tremor running through her whole body, Ye Rui wished nothing more than for some great immortal to appear and cure her at once.

Earlier, Dawn had mentioned that Tinglan Pavilion had many mechanisms. Later, Xie Tinglan had already told her which traps she took on her usual route, so Ye Rui was now completely familiar with the way there and rushed through without obstruction.

The moment Ye Rui laid Xie Tinglan on the couch, Dawn arrived. She immediately sat by the bed to check Xie Tinglan’s pulse, then frowned. “She’s overworked, and the cold poison has brought on a fever. My lord’s body is already at its limit; she needs proper rest. I’ll go brew medicine first.”

With that, Dawn left without delay. Yin Yue came in shortly after. Once Ye Rui told her about Xie Tinglan’s condition, Yin Yue said, “Stay with my lord. I’ll discuss what you just told me with Gong Daren.”

Then Yin Yue also withdrew.

Ye Rui sat by the bed and watched Xie Tinglan, rubbing her hand over and over. She didn’t know whether it helped; it probably didn’t. At most, it only eased her own anxiety.

“Xie Tinglan…”

Ye Rui called her name softly. Naturally, Xie Tinglan couldn’t hear her.

The closer winter drew, the busier Xie Tinglan became. Duty was one thing, but the emperor’s intent to wear her body down was obvious.

Xie Tinglan was, after all, someone with eyes and hands everywhere, yet she still couldn’t find the whereabouts of longevity grass and Yama Flower. That was truly strange. Later, Ye Rui had mentioned it to Dawn by chance, and Dawn only said that someone was obstructing the search; someone wanted Xie Tinglan dead, or perhaps wanted to keep her crippled body hanging on like this forever.

At first, Ye Rui had thought of Mu Xue, but Dawn said it wasn’t her. Mu Xue’s information might be extensive, but she still didn’t possess such heaven-reaching means.

Very quickly, Ye Rui understood. Combined with Xie Tinglan’s severely depleted body right now, it could only be that man sitting on the dragon throne.

That bastard!

**

So you have times when you’re afraid of losing things too!

I’ve always been afraid of losing them.

In the Xie household in the south of the city, there was a genius. At three, she knew the Four Books; at five, she could recite the Five Classics. And yet no one marveled at it, because this genius was a girl.

The Xie family in the south of the city was a minor clan. The patriarch, Xie Yinan, was only a compiling clerk in court, responsible for sorting manuscripts and classics, and even after turning fifty, he still had no real chance at promotion. His wife had borne him two sons; later, he took in the beautiful daughter of the Song family in the south of the city as a concubine, and she gave birth to the current genius—Xie Tinglan.

Everyone knew Xie Yinan’s two sons were mediocre. He spent nearly all the family fortune sending them into officialdom, and they only ended up as minor clerks; they lacked ability, but thankfully never caused any real trouble.

Xie Yinan put a great deal of effort into raising Xie Tinglan, thinking that one day he could send her into the imperial harem, and then the Xie family would rise with a single person’s success.

Xie Tinglan was indeed clever, and she always thought Xie Yinan’s kindness toward her was real kindness, until one day her mother, Song Qing, told her something. It was as if she grew up all at once that day. She was only eleven then.

Song Qing told her that women did not need to depend on men; she must not follow in her mother’s footsteps. Only then did Xie Tinglan learn that Xie Yinan had coveted Song Qing’s beauty and insisted on marrying her, even threatening the Song family’s lives and business.

In order to save their lives and the family business they had inherited, the Song family had no choice but to kneel and beg the stubborn Song Qing to agree to the marriage. In the end, under the unbearable pressure of her father threatening to smash his head against the wall and die, Song Qing consented.

After explaining why she had married into the Xie family, Song Qing fell silent for a long while, then said gently, “I will never become your burden, and I will never let myself become your burden. Child, you must fly boldly and without fear.”

Over and over, Song Qing stroked Xie Tinglan’s face. The gentle smile in her eyes hid her pain; her wings had already been broken to pieces in this Xie family.

Song Qing continued to instruct her, “You have to learn restraint. Before your wings are fully grown, you must know how to play stupid. We women have one advantage: they all look down on us, and we can use that contempt.”

Song Qing’s choked voice rang in her ears. Xie Tinglan remembered it was winter then. The snow outside had already risen above her ankles, and the book she had just been reading had been pulled from her hands by Song Qing and fallen into the snow. When she looked up, she could only see a corner of the book; it was just like what she had seen in this household all along—

Only a sliver of the iceberg.

Her chubby little face resembled Song Qing’s by sixty percent. Song Qing’s tears fell into her hands, and that made her eyes redden too.

Song Qing had taught her to read. Song Qing understood many things and always taught her many lessons. But this was the first time she had spoken to her about truths a child her age should not yet understand; and yet, somehow, she understood them all.

“Don’t believe what Xie Yinan says. Don’t soften because of the kindness he shows you. Don’t enter the palace to become a concubine; your world is not inside those four palace walls.”

Young Xie Tinglan felt a faint unease and looked at Song Qing’s coldly beautiful face before asking in a low voice, “Mother, what’s wrong with you?”

Song Qing shook her head. When she looked at Xie Tinglan, there was reluctance in her eyes, but for some reason, a flash of venomous hatred crossed the corners of her eyes.

“Lan’er, two months from now the Empress Helian will go to Rizhao Temple to offer incense. By then, the Xie family will definitely send you to show your face.”

Song Qing paused, then continued, “You must speak to her. Remember what your mother said; women, too, can become masters of this world.”

“I… I remember.”

Xie Tinglan had always lived smoothly. Xie Yinan was willing to indulge her; her two older brothers rarely spoke to her, but they didn’t cause her trouble either. At the dinner table, the best dishes always went to the two brothers. At the desk, she was mostly only allowed to read boring books like Female Admonitions and Female Virtue, while her brothers could read interesting things like the Strategies of the Warring States and Zuo’s Commentary on the Spring and Autumn Annals.

She still remembered how once one of her brother’s chambermaids made a mistake and was beaten to death by him with a stick. The family only gave a few taels of silver, wrapped the maid in a straw mat, and threw her into the mass graves. But if one of the brothers merely caught a cold, the family would spend several dozen taels of silver to treat him. Every time she thought of those two things, Xie Tinglan felt puzzled deep down.

She thought the world was just like this. She thought women were meant to be so cheap. She had thought she could keep living like this, even though a voice in her heart kept telling her she must not. She was clearly angry about those injustices.

Now Song Qing’s words completely ignited the fire in Xie Tinglan’s heart. She did not want to be like the wives and women of the household, obediently submitting to her husband, silently enduring beatings and scoldings. She did not want every word she spoke to be brushed aside with a single line: “You’re just a woman; what could you understand?”

She wanted to argue with the things in the books she did not agree with. She wanted to speak about what was happening in this world, not be silenced by a single “you are a woman.”

“The books Mother left you must be read to the end. Empress Helian will become your guiding light; remember that. Lan’er, Mother… loves you.”

Xie Tinglan did not understand why Song Qing had been so resolute then, why she had handed everything over to her. But she felt that she wasn’t incapable of understanding; she simply did not want to understand, and even more, she could not bring herself to say a single word of comfort.

The next day, Song Qing took poison and died on a day of falling snow. It was then that Xie Tinglan finally understood why she had been unable to comfort her.

Because Song Qing had already made up her mind to die.

Xie Tinglan could not shed a single tear. She knelt before the coffin; the paper money in the basin burned hot, warming her face to a red glow, yet her eyes were empty, as if her soul had been lost.

Until she overheard Xie Yinan and his eldest son, Xie Xin, whispering to each other.

“What a pity. The Duke of Wei had rarely taken a liking to that Song woman. If we had just sent her over, Father, you could have risen in rank. Who knew she’d be so stubborn, choosing death rather than yielding.”

“Enough. I still have to think about how to explain this to the Duke of Wei.”

Xie Yinan wore a troubled look, yet there was no trace of grief over Song Qing’s death. Xie Tinglan’s already numb heart suddenly gave a violent throb. Her gaze fell blankly on the flames in the basin, as if that fire had begun burning inside her own heart.

It burned so hot she felt as if she were on fire, like flames rising up from hell itself.

“Why not just get rid of that little slut…”

Xie Xin hadn’t finished before Xie Yinan cut him off. “Don’t even think about it. If our Xie family is going to soar in the future, we’ll be relying on her!”

Heh…

Xie Tinglan did not cry. Instead, she laughed. In that instant, she understood everything Song Qing had said.

She had thought she possessed so much, but it turned out she had been losing all along. She had lost her mother, lost her freedom, lost even the basic right to be human, and nearly lost the dignity to accept the status quo and keep living.

She was afraid of losing.

She did not want to be fish on the chopping board anymore. She wanted to become the sharpest blade.

At Rizhao Temple two months later, the other children were wandering around the temple in groups, and only Xie Tinglan stood outside the main hall, staring at the noble woman’s back.

Under the gods and buddhas that filled the sky, the woman’s back was straight as a spear. Even though she had only been crowned Empress two years ago, she already possessed the dignity of one who could mother the entire realm.

“Why aren’t you playing?”

Helian Shaohua asked. After she had led the children of the various families in prayer, she let them go play on their own, while she remained in the main hall, lifted her eyes toward the solemn Buddha statue, and pressed her palms together without a word. After becoming Empress, Helian Shaohua would come to Rizhao Temple on the first day of every new year to offer prayers. It was said that children were pure and innocent, and their prayers were the most likely to move the heavens. Thus, the Great Yan court developed an unwritten rule: every year on the first day of the year, when the Empress came to Rizhao Temple, she would bring thirty children along to pray with her.

This was to display the Empress’s dignity, benevolence, and sincerity before the heavens.

All the clans and families fought over the chance to send their children to the Empress’s side. To be noticed by the Empress, to be remembered by her, could very well become a stepping stone to success.

Helian Shaohua had noticed the girl standing outside the hall all along, but she did not turn around. She wanted to see how long this girl could stand there without saying a word.

Xie Tinglan knelt before Helian Shaohua and said, “Your Majesty, there is no such thing as play in this minister’s daughter’s life.”

“Oh?”

Helian Shaohua turned around. At just twenty, she was in the bloom of youth, radiant and full of charm; every glance and smile carried elegance and generosity.

“Then what is the most important thing in your life?”

Xie Tinglan raised her head then, looking at Helian Shaohua without the slightest regard for propriety. Her gaze was firm and stubborn as she said, “Not being fish on the chopping board, but the one holding the knife.”

Helian Shaohua’s eyes lit up. She took a few steps forward and helped Xie Tinglan to her feet, then said in a low voice, “And is that enough?”

“No.”

Xie Tinglan looked Helian Shaohua in the eye. Though there were eight years between them, and though Xie Tinglan was only twelve then, Helian Shaohua could already see the ruthlessness that didn’t match her age.

“I want to enter court.”

Helian Shaohua’s eyes brightened again. She reached out and touched that young face, saying softly, “Seeing your face, I think of someone. I suppose she must be your mother.”

“Truly, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. What a pity she wasn’t ruthless enough.”

Her fingers slid to Xie Tinglan’s chin and lifted it lightly. “And you? How ruthless can you be?”

“Anyone who stands in my way can be killed.”

Helian Shaohua froze when she heard that, then lowered her head and laughed softly. When the laughter faded, the main hall fell into silence, broken only by the distant chanting of nuns and the lingering scent of incense in the air.

Xie Tinglan’s gaze gradually lost focus. The person before her seemed to overlap with the solemn Buddha behind her; in a daze, she almost thought she saw the face of a green-skinned, fanged asura.

When she gathered her focus again, that gentle face once more wore a smile.

“As you wish.”

At that moment, Xie Tinglan let out a breath of relief. In this great hall built beneath endless gods and buddhas, the one who answered her wish to break free from her cocoon was a mortal.

And yet not quite like one.

**

Xie Tinglan woke up two days later. When she opened her eyes, it was night, and only a faint light burned from somewhere not far away. She turned her head slightly and saw Dawn sitting on a small stool, one hand propping up her head, the other holding a palm-leaf fan, asleep beside a fire basin.

Xie Tinglan frowned. Her mind was still hazy, and somehow she had dreamed of those old memories again.

She had dreamed of her mother, Song Qing, black blood flowing from her nose and mouth, lying motionless on the bed with her hands resting on her abdomen. She had dreamed of paper money scattering through the air, of the coffin sitting heavily before her like a weight pressing on her chest; there was not a single cry around her, only the disgusted looks of those people from the clan.

She had also dreamed of the main hall at Rizhao Temple, where that noble woman stood right between the gods and her, holding out a hand. She had dreamed of scattered fragments of childhood, all related to Song Qing, things she had long since forgotten.

Or maybe she had never really forgotten them. Her memory was too good; she had only deliberately avoided remembering the happiness she once had in the Xie household.

It was just that those moments of happiness had nothing to do with the Xie family; they had even been wrapped layer upon layer in death and foul desire, such that she had never once dared to peel them open and look.

Later, she intermittently dreamed of Ye Rui being injured at Shenwu Plaza, and of her running toward her, her dress clearly stained with blood...

Her head hurt.

Xie Tinglan pressed a hand to her head. Only then did she make the slightest movement, and Dawn woke at once, stepping to the bedside in two quick strides to feel Xie Tinglan’s forehead.

“My lord, the fever has broken. You’re still very weak right now, so you mustn’t get out of bed.”

After hearing that, Xie Tinglan gave a soft mm and had no intention of getting up. She was still exhausted; it felt as if she would fall asleep again the moment she closed her eyes.

“Where is Ye Rui? Was she… injured?”

She remembered that when she got off the carriage, she was already dizzy. Then she saw Ye Rui approaching with blood on her clothes, and for some reason her mind suddenly flashed back to the assassination at Shenwu Plaza that day, and to her mother bleeding black blood from the nose and mouth. She was instantly swallowed by fear.

Before Ye Rui could even finish speaking, she could no longer hold on and fainted.

Dawn frowned. She hesitated, clearly troubled. When Xie Tinglan saw that, her heart gave a jolt. Then Dawn spoke: “She was fine at first. The blood on her body was Miss Zhuang’s. But yesterday, she rushed off with Yinzhi to get medicine for you and was ambushed by Yu Bin. In the fight, Ye Rui was injured, and Yu Bin was killed by the two of them working together.”

Hearing this, Xie Tinglan’s head hurt even more fiercely. She was about to rise, but Dawn stopped her. “My lord, I dare not hide it from you. Ye Rui suffered some internal and external injuries, but there is no danger to her life. Yinzhi is taking care of her. But if you keep tormenting your own body, I’m afraid you truly won’t survive.”

As Dawn spoke, her eyes turned red. Xie Tinglan could only lie back down and let out a heavy sigh.

“My lord, Ye Rui didn’t come away empty-handed from this either. We have news of the longevity grass.”

Xie Tinglan had still been clouded with worry, but at Dawn’s words, her eyes brightened again. “What happened?”

“Ye Rui couldn’t wait for Yinzhi, so she went to the pharmacy first to get your medicine. On the way, she also heard from people at the Dabao Gambling House that Yu Bin had used a broken medicinal herb as collateral and paid off part of his gambling debts. The manager only kept quiet about the thirty thousand taels Yu Bin lost at the Dabao Gambling House for the time being and didn’t report it to the Chaoyang Sect.”

Xie Tinglan coughed twice and frowned. “That broken herb was the longevity grass?”

“Yes, my lord. Our guess is that the emperor placed the longevity grass in the care of the Chaoyang Sect, and Yu Bin stole it on his own to pawn it for gambling debts.”

When it came to the longevity grass, Dawn’s tone turned much lighter, and there was a burning light in her eyes.

“My lord, Yinzhi and Phantom Mirror are already thinking of ways to buy the longevity grass back from the Dabao Gambling House. Your poison can be cured!”

Lying on the bed, Xie Tinglan curved her lips into a very faint smile. Even her pale face seemed to have gained a little color at that moment.

After a while, she finally asked, “Where was Ye Rui injured?”

**

The night was quiet, but the candle flame trembled when Ye Rui cried out.

“Pain, pain, pain—Yin Yue, be gentler.”

Ye Rui sat on the bed and yelped. Several wounds on her hands crisscrossed each other; the parts that had already been medicated were seeping sticky, translucent fluid mixed with blood. They looked rather frightening.

The wounds on her body already hurt, and then she shouted again, which sent a sharp stab of pain through her chest. Ye Rui immediately coughed several times as if she had drawn the wrong breath.

Yin Yue’s hand paused. Looking at Ye Rui’s pale face, she couldn’t help giving a wry smile. “Your lungs are still in good shape. Looks like the injuries aren’t too serious.”

Ye Rui looked at Yin Yue pitifully, tears even welling in the corners of her eyes. “Then be gentler. I’m afraid of pain.”

Her eyes were red as she begged Yin Yue not to rub her wounds like she was applying bruise medicine. Look; the wound had already been rubbed open again and was bleeding.

Ye Rui regretted underestimating what Yin Yue meant by “heavy-handed.” Dawn had already come to apply medicine to her once today, then gone to look after Xie Tinglan. Gong Yinzhi and Phantom Mirror had gone to the Dabao Gambling House to ask around, and in the end Dawn had called Yin Yue over to tend Ye Rui’s wounds.

The moment Yin Yue came in, she had said her hands were heavy and told Ye Rui to bear with it. Ye Rui hadn’t taken it seriously; she hadn’t thought it could be that bad. Now she knew she was wrong. The wounds that had just barely stopped bleeding had been rubbed open again. She really wanted to cry; she wanted her Dawn-mama!

Seeing Ye Rui’s wounds bleeding again, Yin Yue herself felt a little guilty and finally eased up. “Wait here. I’ll call Li Yun over.”

Yin Yue decided to spare both Ye Rui and herself. She set down the ointment and prepared to leave.

“Hey, Yin Yue.”

Ye Rui called after her, her voice rising, and she couldn’t help coughing again; her breathing seemed to have gone out of order. Thankfully, Yin Yue waited until she finished coughing before she continued, “If there’s any news from the Dabao Gambling House, be sure to tell me.”

“Mm.”

Yin Yue was never talkative to begin with. After answering, she went off to fetch Li Yun. Not long after, Li Yun came to apply medicine for Ye Rui, and compared with Yin Yue, her hands were much gentler.

“Why didn’t you wait for Gong Daren?”

Li Yun asked. Yesterday, after learning Ye Rui was injured, she had been looking for a chance to see her, but Yanyu Courtyard was heavily guarded, and Dawn had ordered that no one was allowed to approach. Li Yun had to wait until today to finally see Ye Rui.

She looked pale, practically half dead, but in the end she was still alive.

Yesterday, she had happened to be in the mountains training. Otherwise, she definitely would have gone to the pharmacy with Ye Rui. Even if she couldn’t beat Yu Bin, she could still have held out until Gong Yinzhi arrived and kept Ye Rui from getting hurt this badly.

From what Dawn had said, Ye Rui had wounds on her arms and abdomen. Fortunately, the girl was clever enough, and Yu Bin had also been injured, so the wounds hadn’t gone deep enough to reach any vital points. It was just that she had also suffered internal injuries, and those didn’t seem light at all.

“The day before yesterday, when I went to get medicine, I heard that a lot of the herbs Xie Tinglan needed had already been bought up. They said new stock wouldn’t come in until the next day. I was afraid that if I went too late, the herbs would be deliberately bought out again, so I couldn’t wait for Gong-guniang to finish checking Xie Tinglan’s pulse.”

Ye Rui said the long sentence in one breath. When she was done, she couldn’t help coughing a few more times, then continued, “There are so many eyes in the Capital City all trained on Xie Tinglan. Now that she’s fallen ill, those ghosts and monsters naturally want to cut off her path to survival; otherwise, Dawn wouldn’t need to regularly order medicine from the three cities of Yuanzhou.”

It was only after Xie Tinglan fell ill that Ye Rui learned the medicines Xie Tinglan took every day couldn’t be bought in the Capital City at all. They were all purchased in bulk by Dawn from the three cities of Yuanzhou and stockpiled here. The great families of the Capital City had long since monopolized the herbs Xie Tinglan needed.

Even if they themselves had no use for them, they still wouldn’t give them to Xie Tinglan; they were determined to cut off her lifeline.

Since those people all knew Xie Tinglan’s condition, how could the one on the dragon throne not know as well? Locking away news of the longevity grass and Yama Flower was almost certainly his doing.

With wolves and tigers all around, Ye Rui was feeling the full force of those four words for the first time, and Xie Tinglan had been swallowed and surrounded by that danger all along.

“But this isn’t a blessing in disguise? We found the mortgage papers on Yu Bin, and only then did we learn that the longevity grass is currently at the Dabao Gambling House, cough cough—!”

Ye Rui got too excited and couldn’t stop herself from coughing. Li Yun immediately brushed her back and said worriedly, “Alright, stop talking. You’ve got internal injuries; you need to rest properly.”

“Mm.”

Ye Rui remembered the force that had come at her from Yu Bin’s sword earlier, like a heavy hammer. Then she remembered Gong Yinzhi teaching her how to protect herself with inner force, to gather it around the vital meridians of the heart. Her inner force was meager, but even a little helped. It had weakened some of Yu Bin’s force, which was why she hadn’t been killed in one strike.

And luckily, Yu Bin had kept using sword techniques to conceal his identity; otherwise, she wouldn’t have survived.

That had been too dangerous. She’d almost seen her great-grandmother.

Hutu: [I almost saw my original system too.]

Ye Rui: [I advise you not to talk nonsense.]

Hutu: […Fine. We won’t call it the original system; we’ll call it the first-generation system.]

Ye Rui: […I actually don’t really want to know.]

Hutu: [I think you do.]

Ye Rui almost rolled her eyes. Then she heard Hutu laughing cheerfully; it didn’t even look at the fact that she was injured and still came to annoy her.

“Luckily Gong Daren arrived in time, otherwise… we all would’ve had to attend a funeral.”

Li Yun said half-jokingly, but when she looked at those shocking wounds, worry still showed in her eyes. “Some of these injuries are a little deep. I’m afraid they’ll leave scars.”

“What’s the big deal? I always wear long sleeves anyway; no one can see them. And who would be so bored as to lift my sleeve, or reckless enough to want to look at my abdomen?”

The moment she said that, the words “Xie Tinglan” flashed into Ye Rui’s mind.

Instantly, a rush of heat swept through Ye Rui’s abdomen, and she hurriedly suppressed the strange wandering thoughts that rose up.

“You mustn’t be this reckless again in the future. The Capital City is full of danger.”

“Got it.”

Before, Ye Rui had thought Li Yun was a bit of a stick-in-the-mud. She had understood what Li Yun meant about wolves and tigers circling the Xie residence, but only now did Ye Rui truly feel that danger for herself.

They really were being watched by everyone all the time, especially Xie Tinglan, whose every move was under surveillance. No wonder Dawn sometimes had to leave through the back door.

After a while, Li Yun finished applying the medicine and told Ye Rui to rest well before leaving.

Ye Rui lay on the bed, not daring to move at all. Thinking of how she had barely reacted in time when Yu Bin ambushed her and managed to save her own life, she was still shaken. When Yu Bin’s sword hacked into her body, splitting flesh and blood, the first thing Ye Rui felt was not pain, but the urge to strike back.

She wanted to return these injuries to him. But her martial skills weren’t high enough; simply dodging and blocking had already exhausted her. In that moment of retreating step by step, Ye Rui had, for the first time, wanted to kill someone.

Unlike when she killed Gu Sheng, when it had been pure instinct, this time she was thinking that if she found any opening, any opportunity at all, she would definitely kill Yu Bin; the quest had nothing to do with it. Her anger toward Yu Bin, hidden at the bottom of her heart, her instinctive reaction to fear, and her unwillingness to die once she lost all converged into killing intent in that instant.

But she was too weak. She simply couldn’t break through Yu Bin’s dense, rain-like sword attacks. It was only when a hoarse sound of a qin came through that Yu Bin suddenly seemed as if a huge stone had slammed into his chest; he clutched at it and staggered back several steps.

Ye Rui seized the opening. A sleeve arrow shot out, straight for Yu Bin’s throat. He gave a muffled groan, let out a miserable cry, rolled his eyes, and fell straight down, lifeless.

If she hadn’t asked Dawn for a sleeve arrow, she probably wouldn’t have had any fighting chance at all.

Gong Yinzhi couldn’t appear in public, and that sound of the qin was very subtle in the crowd. But because Ye Rui had heard her practice before, she recognized it as her playing. Only afterward did the constables arrive belatedly. Seeing the Xie family token at Ye Rui’s waist, they handled the aftermath with the utmost respect and didn’t make things difficult for her; Yu Bin was fully responsible.

Ye Rui’s gaze gradually darkened. She closed her eyes and took a breath, thinking to herself: she needed to grow stronger quickly, or how else could she care for Xie Tinglan’s body, and how else could she help her move toward the world she envisioned?

Ye Rui had killed someone, but this time she was no longer afraid, no longer frightened. It turned out that only by walking through life and death once could one truly understand that this was a savage world where either you kill me, or I kill you; and once she understood that, Ye Rui would no longer tremble.

**

The next day, Ye Rui was able to get out of bed. She had wanted to go to Tinglan Pavilion to see Xie Tinglan, but just as she put on her boots, she saw Dawn helping Xie Tinglan inside.

“Why are you here?”

Ye Rui didn’t know Xie Tinglan had already woken up. After Li Yun came yesterday, no one had come again, and no one had told her anything about Xie Tinglan.

After Dawn helped Xie Tinglan into the room, she tactfully left and even closed the door, as if there were some secret between the two of them that could not be spoken of.

Today Xie Tinglan was wearing a moon-white crossed-collar robe. Her hair was casually pinned up, but after being ill for two days, her white hair seemed even more numerous than before.

Ye Rui’s heart tightened. She immediately limped to Xie Tinglan’s side and habitually took her hand. It was icy cold, with none of the feverish heat from before. The fever must have broken, otherwise Dawn would never have allowed her to come here.

“Why did you come over? I was just about to come see you. My room doesn’t even have a brazier; if you catch cold, Dawn will probably chase me around and beat me up, cough cough—”

Ye Rui joked, but by the end her breath caught and she started coughing.

Xie Tinglan tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Are you not afraid of death?”

“Of course I am!”

Ye Rui knew Xie Tinglan was talking about the ambush by Yu Bin. She knew Xie Tinglan had definitely come because of that. Xie Tinglan sat down on the stool, and Ye Rui immediately poured her a cup of hot tea. It was the tea water Aunt Lin changed every day; drinking something warm would probably help Xie Tinglan feel warmer.

Xie Tinglan held the cup in her palm, letting the warmth seep through her cold fingers, before continuing, “Then how could you be so reckless?”

Xie Tinglan’s complexion was much better than before, and her breathing was steadier too. It looked as if Dawn’s daily care had indeed improved her condition a great deal. Her beautiful eyes held a little reproach, her brows faintly drawn together, as if she truly could not understand.

Ye Rui then explained how someone at the pharmacy had deliberately bought up the medicines. Only then did Xie Tinglan understand. “Why didn’t you tell Dawn? Dawn would surely have had another way to get the medicine.”

Ye Rui naturally knew there was such a method. She said, “Even if you bought it from somewhere else, it would still take time to deliver. Your body is already so weak; who knows what might happen.”

Xie Tinglan heard that and lifted a brow, saying a little irritably, “In your eyes, am I really that frail?”

Ye Rui gave her a look that clearly said, and who exactly do you think knows your own body better than you do? “At least I’ve never fainted from exhaustion, and I’ve never been forced by Yin Yue to stand horse stance until my legs cramped.”

Xie Tinglan: “…”

Ye Rui was still trying to prove her point, but Xie Tinglan had already set down the hot tea and caught her wrist, pulling up her sleeve.

Ye Rui: “…”

As expected, what I was thinking last night was right. The one who would lift my sleeve to look at my wounds is Xie Tinglan. Ye Rui instinctively wanted to pull back, not wanting Xie Tinglan to see such ugly injuries, but Xie Tinglan’s grip was astonishingly strong now, and she didn’t dare pull free too hard.

Xie Tinglan’s eyes shifted as she looked at those shocking wounds; the crease between her brows deepened. She looked up at Ye Rui, but Ye Rui guiltily avoided her gaze.

“Just superficial wounds. A little ointment and they’ll be fine—hiss!”

Xie Tinglan pressed a finger against Ye Rui’s wound. She hadn’t even used much force, but Ye Rui yelped in pain. The phantom pain from yesterday when Yin Yue had applied the medicine made her shiver violently.

“You’re this afraid of pain, and you’re not any better than I am.”

Ye Rui saw the smile hiding at the corner of Xie Tinglan’s mouth and didn’t know whether to be angry or amused. This person’s desire to win was truly strong; she even wanted to compare something like this.

But very quickly, the smile on Xie Tinglan’s lips faded. These wounds were very likely to leave scars; even if Dawn’s medicine was excellent, it could not erase them.

“Working so hard for me; don’t tell me you want me to repay you with my body?”

There was amusement in Xie Tinglan’s tone. When Ye Rui heard that, she could not help feeling a little bitter, but she still smiled and said, “I’d like that, but your Prime Minister Xie probably wouldn’t look twice at a silly girl like me.”

After she said that, Xie Tinglan lowered her eyes, her long lashes hiding the darkness within them. Then she heard Ye Rui ask, “Since I worked so hard for you, can you tell me what happened to the wound on your arm?”

Xie Tinglan saw Ye Rui’s gaze fall on her own arm. She had always been the one to apply medicine for Xie Tinglan when she was injured in the mountains, so of course she could see it.

“After I drank the cold poison, I could no longer have children and naturally could not enter the imperial family’s gates. The Xie family was furious. Regardless of whether I had recovered yet, they picked up a whip and took out their anger on my body.”

Xie Tinglan spoke lightly, but there was clearly a trace of ruthlessness in her eyes. Ye Rui’s heart thudded hard, a wrenching pain squeezing her chest. She gritted her teeth and muttered, “How could they be so cruel?!”

Xie Tinglan gave a cold laugh, pulled Ye Rui’s sleeve back down, and let her gaze drift to her abdomen. She continued, “At that time, I was already the Imperial Scribe by the Empress’s side and was about to be promoted, so they didn’t dare kill off this discarded pawn.”

“They’re unbelievably short-sighted. If you could rise in officialdom, wouldn’t they benefit too? Why insist on sending you into the harem?”

Ye Rui was indignant; she wanted nothing more than to go to the Xie household in the south of the city right now and settle accounts with those people, to return the wounds Xie Tinglan had suffered a hundredfold!

“Because no woman had ever become an official. They didn’t believe I could rise higher, nor that I had the ability. In their eyes, women were only meant to cook in the kitchen and do needlework in the inner chambers.”

As Xie Tinglan spoke, she almost wanted to laugh at herself. She remembered the day she became Prime Minister, when the Xie family came looking for her. Every one of them was full of flattery, kneeling and bowing obsequiously, while she ignored them entirely. That had been one of her happiest moments.

“Those backward fools! No wonder they’ll never amount to anything! Cough cough—!”

Ye Rui was furious. She clutched her chest and coughed a few times, but then remembered that those people were, after all, Xie Tinglan’s family. She had originally wanted to say even harsher things, but she managed to stop herself in time.

Seeing Ye Rui’s angry expression, as if she wanted to speak but couldn’t quite bring herself to, Xie Tinglan gently patted Ye Rui’s thigh in comfort and simply said, “It doesn’t matter. To me, they’re just chess pieces.”

“How so?”

Ye Rui asked, but Xie Tinglan lifted her eyes to her, a subtle smile in them.

“Keep me company tonight, and I’ll tell you.”

Ye Rui: “…”

Ye Rui thought it over and said, “I still need to apply medicine.”

“I’ll do it.”

Xie Tinglan answered immediately, as if afraid Ye Rui would think up another excuse to refuse her. Ye Rui’s heart gave a faint tremor. Applying medicine to her arm was still acceptable, but the wound on her abdomen...

She didn’t think anything of it when Dawn applied medicine, because there was no improper intent between them. But if it were Xie Tinglan...

That would be far too improper.

And yet, Ye Rui was truly curious about what role the Xie family had in Xie Tinglan’s life.

“Fine. I’ll keep you company tonight.”

Ye Rui’s expression was one of self-sacrifice and devotion, and Xie Tinglan almost couldn’t hold back a laugh. After steadying her breath, she finally said, “I’m not touching them for now because I want that man to have an illusion; that is, that I still have attachments to the Xie family, so he’ll think he still has something to use to control me. He’ll think I’m still within his grasp.”

After hearing that, Ye Rui suddenly understood. But then she felt something was off. “But didn’t he also send Yu Bin to kill Zhuang Linglong? Looks like he already fears you a great deal; why not just strike at the Xie family directly?”

Xie Tinglan picked up her hot tea again and said quietly, “Yu Bin wasn’t sent by him.”

-----------------------

Author’s note: Here we go, here we go!

[dog head]