Chapter 36

At midday, Dongfeng Ward was packed shoulder to shoulder. The eateries were full, and even the taverns had no empty seats. Only the teahouses by the roadside still had one or two openings. Li Yun was seated in one of them, her eyes fixed on Yanyu Tower.

Fortunately, Ye Rui came out very quickly. When Li Yun saw her hurrying toward her and nearly colliding with an auntie heading home with a basket of vegetables, she could only smile wryly.

If she really had hit that auntie, who knew how long it would take before she could get back to the residence.

Ye Rui threaded through the crowd to Li Yun’s side, poured herself a cup of tea, and took a sip before saying, “I just went to make a deal with Mu Xue. I asked her to tell me who exactly rescued Gu Sheng back then.”

Li Yun naturally knew about this matter. Xie Tinglan was investigating it too, but the news remained pitifully scarce. In the jianghu, people said that Yanyu Tower’s business was never simple. They weren’t afraid of the boss of Yanyu Tower demanding a fortune in silver; they were afraid of failing to do what she asked of you.

That was worse than death.

“You went and made a deal with her on your own? Even my lord rarely deals with her. If you can’t carry out her task..."

Li Yun’s expression darkened as she spoke, and she looked at Ye Rui with concern. Carefully, she asked, “You agreed?”

“...I did. It’s nothing serious; I can handle it.”

Hearing that, Li Yun felt Ye Rui must have been tricked by Mu Xue. How could Mu Xue possibly be that easy to talk to? She had crossed blades with the three of them, including Ri Xi, and none of them could do anything about her. What, then, could Ye Rui possibly exchange with her?

“If you fail to do it, do you know what will happen?”

Now Ye Rui was curious. She rested her hands on the wooden table and asked, “What?”

“Rain hazed in the mist, and the Yama King comes; without hands, without feet, without a soul returning.”

What did that mean? Ye Rui only found it frightening, something about no hands, no feet, no soul returning...

“They’re extremely well-informed. Even if you ran to the ends of the earth, they’d still find you; and then... they’d make you into a human stick, lock you in some hidden chamber, and make sure you couldn’t die but couldn’t live either.”

Ye Rui’s face went pale. She regretted asking. Turning someone into a human stick and not even letting them die—this was pure torture, enough to intimidate anyone who broke a promise.

It also discouraged many people who might otherwise have wanted to strike a deal with Yanyu Tower.

The way Yanyu Tower handled things really didn’t resemble its outward appearance at all; it looked ethereal and graceful from the outside, but hidden within it was a great deal of blood and violence.

“What did you agree to?”

Li Yun still felt something was off. She was already thinking that perhaps Ye Rui should personally go and refuse the deal. If anything truly went wrong, it would be fatal.

“In three days, I’ll accompany her to Youlan City and stay there for three days before coming back.”

When Li Yun heard that, the deal seemed almost too simple. She asked again, “Did she ask you to do anything for her?”

“She said I’d have to be her attendant for three days.”

Li Yun’s features twisted at that. She still felt there was no way things could be that simple. This matter had to be reported to Xie Tinglan; Xie Tinglan would certainly know where the complications lay.

“Gold Mask came by just now.”

Li Yun glanced toward the crowd, seeming to look in the direction where Jin You had left. “After I told him you’d gone into Yanyu Tower, he left.”

When Ye Rui heard that unfamiliar yet familiar name, she finally remembered that it was the gold and silver guardians she had never seen before. He should be one of Xie Tinglan’s eyes and ears; by now, news of her entering Yanyu Tower had probably already reached Xie Tinglan.

Tsk. The great Capital City had countless streets and alleys, enough to hold millions of people, yet it couldn’t contain a single little secret.

“Let’s go. We should head back.”

Ye Rui thought that since Xie Tinglan already knew about this, she should properly explain that she hadn’t gone to Yanyu Tower for private reasons, and that this matter concerned the Xie residence. It ought to be made clear.

Though she had acted on her own, if she could solve the problem, then Xie Tinglan probably wouldn’t blame her.

**

Autumn blurred the world in a haze of color. The fallen leaves in the courtyard had been swept again and again, yet they still could not be cleared away. The sycamores were already draped in a desolate look; their branches were bare, as if they were about to wither away.

When Ye Rui returned to Yinxia Courtyard, she thought she would be summoned by Xie Tinglan very soon. But nothing happened. There was no movement all day. At dinner, Xie Tinglan did not appear either. Ri Xi said that Xie Tinglan was unwell and would not be eating with them.

At the words unwell, Ye Rui thought again of the second deal she had yet to complete with Mu Xue that day.

Ye Rui didn’t know medicine, but she knew that if poison lingered in the body for too long, even after it was cured, it would still leave behind a hidden illness.

After dinner, Ye Rui had originally wanted to practice calligraphy in her room, but perhaps the evening breeze was too irritating. She remained restless and distracted. When she finally looked down at the paper, she saw that she had written the two characters for “Tinglan.” The character for “lan” still had an extra dot; it seemed to be both a sign of affection for Xie Tinglan and a complaint against her.

Ye Rui’s fingertips brushed over the words “Tinglan.” She kept feeling that it was strange Xie Tinglan had not sent for her. She could neither sit still nor stand still, and in the end she decided to go to the study and ask Ri Xi for permission first.

Ri Xi went to ask Xie Tinglan. After a while, she returned and said, “My lord says you may go see her.”

Seeing that Xie Tinglan had agreed, Ye Rui was just about to head over when Ri Xi grabbed her arm, looking troubled. “Choose your words carefully. My lord is in a bad mood.”

Ye Rui’s heart skipped. In just a few breaths, she had already gone through every possible reason for Xie Tinglan’s bad mood. Was it because of court matters, the Xie residence, or because of her trip to Yanyu Tower?

While she was thinking, she had already reached the door to the study in Tinglan Pavilion.

Inside, the room was brightly lit. Even from outside, she could smell a faint calming incense and feel the warm air seeping through the crack in the door.

Ye Rui knocked, but there was no response. Just as she was about to knock again, Xie Tinglan’s voice finally sounded from within. “Come in.”

When she pushed the door open, the cold wind outside collided with the warm air inside, sending the hems of Ye Rui’s clothes fluttering. The movement did not settle until the door was closed again.

Xie Tinglan had already changed into a plain moon-white crossed-collar robe. Her hair was casually tied back. She was not handling official documents; instead, she was practicing calligraphy, writing poems and lines left behind by literati of the Great Yan.

She didn’t look up, but her complexion was pale, her features icy, and she seemed to be in a very bad mood. Her wide sleeve brushed across the xuan paper, leaving behind the scent of ink. Her slender white wrist turned slightly, and she set the wolf-hair brush back on the stand.

“What is it?”

Only then did Xie Tinglan look up. Her eyes were weary, pale with a layer of frost, and when she looked at Ye Rui, there was a trace of anger in her gaze.

Ye Rui’s heart stopped for a beat. Xie Tinglan’s expression frightened her, but it also made her nearly certain that Xie Tinglan’s bad mood had something to do with her.

“Today I went to Yanyu Tower and made a deal with Mu Xue.”

Xie Tinglan’s beautiful eyes half-closed. She did not speak. Her lips pressed together lightly, as if holding back whatever she had wanted to say. Ye Rui unconsciously glanced at the lamps on either side of the desk. The shades were painted with pines and bamboo. The candlelight flickered, like her heart at that moment.

“I asked her for the news of who rescued Gu Sheng back then. In exchange, three days from now I’ll accompany her to Youlan City for three days.”

Xie Tinglan still said nothing. She rose, her long moon-white skirt trailing behind her, and came around the desk to stand before Ye Rui. Ye Rui had wanted to step back, but then she thought she had done nothing wrong and there was no reason to retreat. So she forced herself to stay where she was and watched Xie Tinglan approach step by step.

“You avoided me for several days, and now you come to speak to me because of Mu Xue?”

Xie Tinglan’s cold hand rested on Ye Rui’s shoulder. Through the fabric, Ye Rui could still feel the chill in her palm.

At that instant, Ye Rui’s mind again flashed to the second deal she had yet to make with Mu Xue.

The antidote to the cold poison—was there no time to waste?

“It’s not because of her.”

Ye Rui denied Xie Tinglan’s accusation. Was this person focusing on the wrong point? But in the next moment, another possibility crossed her mind. “You... are you jealous?”

The resolve she had almost given up on suddenly came back to life. Under Xie Tinglan’s cold questioning, she felt a trace of Xie Tinglan’s loss of control.

“Why did you avoid me?”

Xie Tinglan did not answer Ye Rui’s question. Her hand still rested on Ye Rui’s shoulder, and her beautiful eyes stared stubbornly at her. Her long lashes cast a shadow, lending a darker edge to her anger.

The moment Xie Tinglan pressed her like that, Ye Rui suddenly felt like throwing caution to the wind. Since she wasn’t going to get a response anyway, why not say everything plainly and at least have peace of mind later, even if they never met again?

“Because I can’t get a response from you. I’m afraid I’ll fall deeper and deeper; I’m also afraid I’ll get hurt.”

Ye Rui caught Xie Tinglan’s hand and gathered that cold, soft hand into her own palm. When she looked at Xie Tinglan, her eyes were already red. “You ask me why I avoided you, but why do you always refuse to give me an answer?”

“You tease me, tempt me, but you won’t let me into your heart. How can you be so despicable?”

Ye Rui’s words of accusation made Xie Tinglan’s gaze grow more and more dazed. But Ye Rui ignored the look that was practically brimming with tears; full of grievance, she continued, “I know I have no standing, no identity, and not enough ability. I’m not even qualified to stand beside you. If you think I’m not good enough, you can let me go. I can also control myself and stop coming near you.”

“You know I’m fond of you. Every time you tease me, it’s deadly for me. But I don’t want this. I don’t want to be a fool when it comes to feelings, only enjoying fleeting happiness. I want to live more clearly.”

Ye Rui nearly said it all in one breath. Every word, every sentence she had tossed and turned over through countless sleepless nights had finally found a chance to spill out, as if she were laying out her grievances, her thoughts, and her hurt for Xie Tinglan to see.

She didn’t mind Xie Tinglan seeing how helpless and fragile she was. What she minded was that every time she offered her whole heart, Xie Tinglan would evade the issue and talk around it, letting that warm heart slowly grow cold.

It hurt.

“Shameless woman, Xie Tinglan!”

In the end, Ye Rui even had to pin the label of “shameless woman” on Xie Tinglan, giving all her accusations a proper landing place.

Xie Tinglan still kept her lips pressed together and said nothing. Just as she was about to speak, Ye Rui had already let go of her. Her emotions had swept through like a gale, yet she had nothing to hold on to, leaving only emptiness and disappointment.

“I should go back.”

After saying that, Ye Rui turned to leave. Xie Tinglan quickly caught her sleeve, and the air seemed to freeze. The fiery intensity from just moments ago was suddenly pinned in place by that small gesture.

“I said before that amusement has no place in my life.”

Xie Tinglan’s voice had lowered. After Ye Rui’s fierce, fire-like accusations, she did not meet them with equal force; instead, she let everything slow down.

What did that mean? Could it be...

Ye Rui turned back to look at Xie Tinglan. Her face was even paler than before, her breathing a little uneven, as if one more sentence would make her faint. Ye Rui’s heart tightened with a dense, prickling ache. She wanted to leave, yet she couldn’t bear to see Xie Tinglan suffering like this.

“If you care about me, then why... won’t you tell me?”

Xie Tinglan frowned. Biting her lower lip for a few breaths, she finally said, “Could it be you still can’t tell?”

Seeing Xie Tinglan look a little at a loss, Ye Rui was overjoyed and smiled. “I just want to hear you say it.”

Xie Tinglan looked embarrassed, but when she saw the hint of a smile in Ye Rui’s eyes, she released her. “Go.”

Xie Tinglan returned to the desk, but that person followed closely behind her like a plaster that wouldn’t come off.

“What are you doing? Didn’t you say you could control yourself and stop following me?”

Xie Tinglan flicked her sleeve, the fabric brushing against Ye Rui. It carried no real force, but it left a faint fragrance on Ye Rui’s body.

“But... you never said you didn’t like me.”

Ye Rui stood cautiously beside Xie Tinglan, while Xie Tinglan picked up the wolf-hair brush and continued her practice. “I also never said I like you.”

“Weren’t you the one who said you needed me to say it out loud? Now that I can’t say it, why are you still not leaving?”

Ye Rui had not expected the situation to turn around so quickly. It was all her own fault for softening whenever she saw Xie Tinglan, for secretly rejoicing over Xie Tinglan’s flustered helplessness, only to step right back into the whirlpool again.

How useless!

“Then... should I leave?”

Ye Rui took two steps back, and Xie Tinglan did not stop her. She rolled up her sleeves, dipped the brush in ink, and began practicing on the blank sheet of paper.

Ye Rui felt a little dejected. When she reached the door, she looked back at Xie Tinglan, who had lowered her head to practice. “You don’t want me to keep you company while you sleep?”

Xie Tinglan paused her brush and looked up at Ye Rui with a smile. “You don’t sleep with me in the midst of clouds and rain. If you want to keep me company while I sleep, are you trying to make me long for what I cannot have?”

Those words made Ye Rui’s face burn red. She opened her mouth several times, but couldn’t manage to say anything. She was worried about Xie Tinglan’s health, yet Xie Tinglan’s mind was full of such indecent thoughts. How could she keep thinking about these things!

“You should understand that if the two of us sleep in the same bed, I will definitely not be able to restrain myself.”

Xie Tinglan paused, then added kindly, “I like your body.”

Saying her desire so plainly and without concealment made Ye Rui’s heart race at Xie Tinglan’s directness. At the very least, she had said, “I like you,” even if there were three more words after that.

This woman was simply impossible to handle!

“You can restrain yourself; I can’t.”

Especially now, after Ye Rui had made her feelings clear, Xie Tinglan felt that every approach from Ye Rui carried an even deadlier pull. That warm breath, that clean and sharp scent; all of it stirred the deepest desires in her heart.

Hearing that, Ye Rui’s ears burned hot. She could no longer linger. Just as she was turning to leave, Xie Tinglan called after her, “Come find me tomorrow at chen hour.”

“Got it.”

With that, Ye Rui fled. Yes, she thought of it as fleeing. She was also afraid that she would waver, afraid that she would want to stay, afraid that she might end up doing something to Xie Tinglan.

The night wind was cold; it swept away the gloom that had lingered in the room. Xie Tinglan glanced toward the doorway and could not help but smile softly.

She lowered her eyes to the poem she had just written. The smile in her gaze gradually faded, leaving behind a trace of gloom.

“To send my longing and warm the hibiscus curtains, I fear to stir the bright moon’s prying gaze upon my grief.”

A soft sigh echoed through the room and drew the autumn sorrow back in around her.

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Author’s note: [dog head][dog head][yellow heart][yellow heart]