Chapter 32
The night was cold, and the autumn moon hung high and pale. Moonlight slipped through the crack in the window and fell across the person lying in bed, making her already bloodless face seem even whiter.
Probably because of the medicine, Ye Rui grew sleepy again after dinner. She slept fitfully, her dreams coming and going in broken fragments.
In one dream, she saw herself yank out the knife without hesitation and slash open the inner attendant’s throat. In another, she heard Xie Tinglan say that she was nothing more than a mere guard. The pieces were all jumbled together, and her sleep was far from peaceful.
Poor sleep, bad dreams; Ye Rui woke in a cold sweat. Half-awake and dazed, she felt someone push open the door and come in. The movements were light and nimble, the footsteps faint and a little weak.
It wasn’t Ri Xi’s steps.
It was... her?
Ye Rui wasn’t fully awake, but she could feel that person approaching. A cold fragrance, carrying the autumn wind, drifted over; that distinctive scent even tangled through her dreams, and she quickly knew who had come.
The person seemed to sit by the bed for a long time without moving, as though she too had fallen into the hush of the autumn night and into some unfathomable silence.
Before long, Ye Rui felt cool fingertips touch her cheek, hesitantly brushing over her skin. It made her shiver for no reason, and in her muddled thoughts, there was only one idea left: had she fallen ill again?
The icy fingertips lingered for a moment, then withdrew. Ye Rui didn’t know when Xie Tinglan left; she only heard a sigh echo in the dim room, its meaning unclear. Like a night veiled in thin fog, everything within sight was blurred and indistinct.
The next day, Ye Rui got up as usual to take her medicine and eat. Ri Xi helped her to the latrine, and only then did she realize that all the details she had once used to care for Xie Tinglan were now something she had to “enjoy” herself.
Still, every time she pulled at the wound on her left shoulder, Ye Rui felt how restricted her movements were. She only hoped she would recover quickly and not miss the chance to investigate that inner attendant; otherwise...
Right—otherwise what?
Ye Rui: [Hutu, if I can’t complete this main quest, what happens to me?]
Hu Tu: [Didn’t I tell you?]
Ye Rui: [...What do you think?]
Ye Rui was grinding her teeth a little. She had already felt inexplicably irritable this morning, and now Hu Tu had made her even more annoyed; veins were practically throbbing at her temples. She knew Xie Tinglan had come back, but it was almost noon now, and she still hadn’t seen her.
This person... wasn’t even coming to look in on her?
Hu Tu: [If you fail to complete it... let me see, tsk... twenty points of strength will be deducted. Then all the tasks you did before will have been for nothing!]
Ye Rui could not stand the words “for nothing.” But her injuries hadn’t healed yet, and even with excellent medicine, it was impossible to recover within just a few days.
Hu Tu: [Don’t worry. From the looks of it, Xie Tinglan doesn’t seem in a hurry to deal with this either.]
Hearing that, Ye Rui finally felt Hu Tu was at least somewhat useful. She asked, [Why?]
By rights, shouldn’t this be handled as quickly as possible to cut off future trouble?
Hu Tu: [How should I know? Go ask her yourself. I’m just a System, not a worm in Xie Tinglan’s stomach.]
Ye Rui: [That’s a little disgusting.]
Hu Tu: [...]
Ye Rui didn’t trust Hu Tu’s words completely either. After all, she didn’t know what Xie Tinglan was thinking; she would have to ask her directly to know.
Gu Sheng had been able to enter the Imperial Palace as an inner attendant, and had schemed for so long for nothing more than a chance to assassinate Xie Tinglan. The person backing him must have considerable weight in court. A descendant of a former criminal, someone who should have died long ago, yet he could still enter the palace smoothly and lie low for so long—could it be...?!
Come to think of it, she had only been at Xie Manor for three months, and Xie Tinglan had already suffered all sorts of assassination attempts, large and small. Some of them might have been quietly cleared away in advance by her people, without Ye Rui ever knowing. Another faction wanted her dead because of conflicting interests; but why did the emperor want her dead now? What was his purpose?
As she thought, Ye Rui caught the scent of food drifting closer. She was just about to get out of bed to meet Ri Xi when the door was gently pushed open, letting in a wash of cold air. A plane tree leaf slipped in playfully with the hem of the newcomer’s skirt, like an accidental yet artful encounter.
Ye Rui looked up at the visitor. She came in carrying a tray, set it down, and only then closed the door to keep out the cold.
Today, Xie Tinglan wore a light blue crossed-collar long robe, her hair casually tied back, lending her a languid, almost bewitching air. She came to Ye Rui’s side, bringing with her a trace of cold fragrance and a faint smile. “What are you staring at? Aren’t you hungry?”
With one hand around Ye Rui’s soft waist and the other supporting her arm, Xie Tinglan helped the dazed Ye Rui sit up. Once she was seated, Xie Tinglan took the opposite side of the table and looked at her without blinking. “Why are you spacing out?”
“Why did you bring it yourself today?”
Ye Rui withdrew her gaze, feeling heat rise in her chest. Even her forehead seemed to be beading with a fine sweat. Xie Tinglan’s hands were still icy, as if the cold wind that had blown over her last night had never gone away.
“I missed you, so I came.”
Xie Tinglan said it so naturally that Ye Rui was caught off guard. The spoon in her hand nearly slipped back into the bowl. She turned to look at Xie Tinglan, whose smile had deepened. “Just a mere guard, and yet I’m worth Your Excellency’s thoughts?”
As soon as she said it, Xie Tinglan first froze, then gave a low chuckle. “You’re still bothered by that?”
“I’m not bothered. What’s there to be bothered about?”
Ye Rui said one thing and meant another. Her heart churned faintly, and even her wound seemed to ache. The pieces of chicken before her suddenly lost their appeal. Did Xie Tinglan really think she shouldn’t care? Or that she should simply be more open-minded about it?
Was this matter that insignificant in her heart?
“You clearly are bothered.”
Xie Tinglan’s tone carried a trace of reproach. Her beautiful eyes rippled with the brightness of morning light; her gaze was soft, as if it could be kneaded into water at any moment. When had Ye Rui ever seen Xie Tinglan like this? Her heartbeat was a mess, like the leaves swirling outside the door; her mind was in complete disarray, yet left no visible trace.
She had spent three months at Xie Manor; she had learned a little acting.
Ye Rui ignored her and lowered her head to eat, but with her left hand still unable to exert force, even the motion of eating felt awkward, and she ate slowly.
“I’ll feed you.”
Xie Tinglan was about to take Ye Rui’s bowl, but Ye Rui refused. “No need.”
“I’ll feed you.”
Xie Tinglan was stubborn too. She leaned in and took the bowl and chopsticks from Ye Rui’s hands, then shot her an annoyed look. “If you’re in a mood, don’t take it out on your body.”
“I’m not in a mood.”
Ye Rui didn’t look at her. With no chopsticks or bowl in hand, she didn’t know where to put her gaze. Being watched like this by Xie Tinglan made her feel restless and uneasy, as though she were sitting on pins and needles.
Xie Tinglan sighed, blew on the steaming congee on the spoon, and then held it to Ye Rui’s lips.
The person didn’t move.
“If you’re not in a mood, then why won’t you eat?”
Xie Tinglan paused, her tone tinged with helplessness. “Do I have to call Ri Xi in before you’ll eat?”
Hearing that, Ye Rui frowned, turned her head, and opened her mouth to swallow the congee from the spoon. Only then did Xie Tinglan’s expression ease into a smile as she continued feeding her.
“In the mountains, you cared for me the same way.”
Hearing that, Ye Rui only felt even more wronged.
For the past two days, she had deliberately tried not to think about Xie Tinglan; she ate when she should eat, slept when she should sleep. But those aggravating dreams kept bringing Xie Tinglan before her, forcing her to relive the words Xie Tinglan had said that day again and again.
Seeing Ye Rui’s eyes redden, Xie Tinglan tightened her grip on the spoon. Only after gritting her teeth for a moment did she say, “Most of the time, I can’t afford to lose my composure; especially in situations like that.”
Her explanation drew Ye Rui’s gaze. Meeting those eyes, which had begun to shimmer with a faint moisture, Xie Tinglan continued, “Any preference or dislike of mine can become a weakness. In front of those people, I cannot have any weaknesses.”
At that, Ye Rui slowly withdrew her gaze. She understood. In truth, she had understood long ago; she only wanted Xie Tinglan to say it to her personally.
But when had Xie Tinglan ever spoken the truth, and when had she spoken falsehoods?
Ye Rui really couldn’t tell, especially when she thought of the day she had lain by her feet, and Xie Tinglan had looked down at her with that icy gaze.
It was like looking at a stranger, at an ant.
The meal ended just like that, with neither of them saying another word. Ye Rui was still dazed, her mind fixed on one question: had Xie Tinglan come looking for her because she still had value, because Xie Tinglan needed to keep her close; or because she truly cared about her?
“Ye Rui, you saved me again.”
Xie Tinglan set the bowl down. The spoon tapped lightly against it with a crisp sound, pulling Ye Rui back from her thoughts.
Ye Rui turned to look at Xie Tinglan. Her expression was faint, the corners of her lips devoid of a smile; unlike her usual calm and composure, there was instead a trace of indescribable weariness.
“Have you started investigating the Gu family’s matter?”
Ye Rui changed the subject. She didn’t know how to respond to that line. A lifesaving grace—did that mean Xie Tinglan wanted her to repay it with her body?
No, Xie Tinglan wouldn’t do that. This wasn’t some bloody melodrama.
“Not in a hurry. I’ll investigate slowly.”
Ye Rui wouldn’t have believed that if she’d heard it from Hu Tu, but hearing it from Xie Tinglan only made her more suspicious.
“Aren’t you afraid those people will destroy the evidence?”
After Ye Rui spoke, Xie Tinglan gave a bitter smile and shook her head. “If that person wants to destroy the evidence, what can I do?”
That person? Ye Rui thought to herself: I really did guess right; it was the emperor who made the move. Otherwise, who else could there be that Xie Tinglan couldn’t control?
“Why does the emperor want to kill you?”
Ye Rui asked the question outright. That was what worried her most. Even if Xie Tinglan had thunderous methods, the final say in this country still rested with that man.
Over the years, Xie Tinglan had done so many dirty things for the emperor. All the crimes of all the villains had been pinned on Xie Tinglan’s head. If the emperor turned around and claimed he was eliminating harm for the people, then beheading Xie Tinglan in public, the common folk would only think Emperor Yuan was wise and rejoice over it.
Yet now Emperor Yuan only dared to act in the shadows. Could it be that his purpose was not to have Xie Tinglan die at all?
“It’s not for my death. He just wants to stir up conflict between me and the Duke of Wei’s faction, push me to investigate the Duke of Wei, and have us dogs bite dogs so that neither side has the chance to interfere with his arrangements.”
Ye Rui frowned. What kind of arrangement was the emperor making?
“He wants to build up his own power. The civil service examinations are only the beginning; what comes next is the real show. While we fight like the heron and the clam, he can be the fisherman who profits and take control of the court.”
Xie Tinglan said it as lightly as if she were discussing some ordinary family matter. Her tone was so calm that Ye Rui was almost dazed, wondering whether Xie Tinglan had some hidden move waiting.
“You already have a plan?”
Ye Rui didn’t think Xie Tinglan would just watch the emperor’s power grow. Unless her goal was... to seize the throne.
Xie Tinglan lowered her head and chuckled, then looked up at Ye Rui. Her cold hand covered the back of Ye Rui’s hand. Even injured, this person’s body temperature was warm, like sunlight that never fades in summer, always carrying heat.
“The more he wants us to fight like dogs biting each other, the less I’ll let him have his way. None of the Duke of Wei’s people passed this time; they’ll certainly find a way to stuff their own men into court. By then...”
When she said this, Xie Tinglan tentatively tightened her hold on Ye Rui’s hand. Seeing that Ye Rui was listening intently and not pulling away, she continued, “By then, I’ll claim illness and stay away. Let him keep stirring up trouble with the emperor; the one who benefits will be me.”
When Ye Rui heard this, she thought: So this is turning his own methods back on him? Xie Tinglan had really calculated everything? No, how could this person possibly calculate everything? If she truly had, then her left shoulder wouldn’t have another scar.
“Can the emperor cooperate with you, but not with the Duke of Wei to bring you down?”
Xie Tinglan’s eyes lit up when she heard that, and her gaze at Ye Rui took on a bit more interest. “Of course he can. But he doesn’t dare.”
“Compared with those great aristocratic families, I’m still the woman without a clan backing me who’s easier to control.”
She paused, lifted Ye Rui’s hand, and brushed it against the tip of her nose. The posture was like that of a proud cat softening its attitude. Only then did Ye Rui come back to her senses and try to pull her hand away, but as soon as she exerted force, her left shoulder hurt, so she could only let Xie Tinglan be as outrageous as she pleased.
This person was actually taking advantage of her injury to bully her!
Warm breath washed over Ye Rui’s fingertips, and the tip of Xie Tinglan’s nose grazed them again and again, giving her the illusion that Xie Tinglan couldn’t bear to let her go.
An illusion.
This woman was bad to the core. A scoundrel, Xie Tinglan.
“But occasionally using them to weaken me is fine. The art of ruling, he has at least grasped a part of it.”
With that, Xie Tinglan stopped moving. She no longer rubbed Ye Rui’s fingers with her nose, and only quietly looked at her for a beat before asking, “Are you still angry with me?”
Ye Rui looked into those moist, beautiful eyes. Her heart felt numb and itchy, sore and swollen, and she had the strange feeling that if she said she was still angry, Xie Tinglan would kiss her then and there.
The same person who could stir up storms with a few words, who could kill with a single sentence, the one whose brush could stir the winds and clouds; was she now... coaxing her?
“I don’t dare.”
Ye Rui tugged her hand, but she had no strength, and Xie Tinglan still let go smoothly, saying softly, “It’s that you don’t dare, not that you aren’t angry.”
“You actually have times when you don’t dare?”
As Xie Tinglan spoke, her gaze fell on Ye Rui’s ears. They were red; very red. Satisfied, she withdrew her eyes.
“I thought... you only turn into a coward when you’re thinking of doing something improper to me.”
Xie Tinglan rolled her eyes at Ye Rui, the corners of her eyes full of charm. That one glance made Ye Rui’s heart pound wildly, her cheeks burning at once. “W-what nonsense are you talking about? Why is everything out of your mouth so shameless?”
Who could withstand that?
“Shameless?”
Xie Tinglan gave a low laugh, then deliberately sighed again, looking at Ye Rui with a teasing glint. “Then who was it that bought Two Beauties Play at Love and asked me to teach her...”
“No, no, no, that was me. I was asking you to teach me to read and write!”
Ye Rui suddenly felt like there was no way to defend herself. This was simply a single misstep and an eternal regret. No, if she ever had the chance in the future, she absolutely had to go settle accounts with that bookstore owner!
“Oh? You handed me an erotic book and asked me to teach you to read and write?”
“Ah! Stop talking, I didn’t know what kind of book it was!”
Ye Rui covered her face with her right hand. She really wanted to find a rat hole and crawl into it. The level of social death here was no different from handing in a smutty novel as a thesis and then having the professor bring it up to tease you over and over again!
Heavens!
“I thought you were hinting at something to me then, that you had indecent thoughts about me.”
Xie Tinglan rested her cheek on one hand and watched Ye Rui’s flustered, ashamed expression; it was far more entertaining than any scheme or stratagem.
“No!”
Ye Rui denied it at once. Even her originally pale face was now tinted with an unnatural red, and she no longer looked quite so weary.
“You have no improper thoughts about me?”
Xie Tinglan pressed immediately after. Ye Rui panicked and blurted, “Of course not!”
It wasn’t “I don’t,” but “of course not.” The moment those words left her mouth, Ye Rui practically turned to stone. Seeing the victorious smile on Xie Tinglan’s face, she immediately looked away, grinding her back teeth so hard she nearly shattered them.
Damn it, she’d fallen for this bad woman’s trap again!
Xie Tinglan gave an enigmatic “mm,” but even more enigmatic was that the conversation ended there.
“I’m going to rest.”
Ye Rui stood up, and Xie Tinglan immediately supported her. “I’ll help you.”
Ye Rui didn’t refuse. She let Xie Tinglan’s light blue robes brush over her, and the cold fragrance on Xie Tinglan’s body also clung to her, as if Xie Tinglan had left an embrace on her.
After Ye Rui lay down, Xie Tinglan naturally sat by the bedside, looking at her gently.
“Aren’t you leaving yet?”
Being stared at like that made Ye Rui deeply uncomfortable. Xie Tinglan’s gaze was too possessive; it always made her feel as though Xie Tinglan wanted to do something to her, even though she hadn’t lifted a finger.
“Ye Rui, are you afraid?”
Ye Rui said nothing. The suggestive softness from earlier vanished from her eyes as she looked at Xie Tinglan seriously.
“The path I walk is full of wolf dens and tiger pits; every step is a place where blood is seen, a path climbed over bones.”
Xie Tinglan’s expression turned cold. In those beautiful eyes, the dark, icy light looked like a blade, sharp enough to cut open a person’s soul.
“Some roads, even if you’re afraid, you still have to walk.”
Ye Rui had long since understood that. From the very first day she saw Ri Xi and Yin Yue kill, on many sleepless nights afterward, she had figured it out.
She had come to this world not to be a carefree person. The path she walked was difficult and dangerous.
Xie Tinglan smiled. Her cool fingertips lightly landed on Ye Rui’s cheek and traced over it with delicate ease.
“Even if you’re afraid, I won’t let you go.”
-----------------------
Author’s note: Little Ye: The longest road I’ve ever walked is Prime Minister Xie’s schemes.
Prime Minister Xie: My wife is holding a grudge against me; sigh~ It’s all because my acting is too good.
[dog head][yellow heart]
TL Note:
"fight like the heron and the clam" (鹬蚌相争) = two sides exhaust each other while a third party benefits.
"a single misstep and an eternal regret" (一失足成千古恨) = one small mistake that leads to lifelong regret.