Morning

Xu Zhitong lay very carefully on the soft pillowcase.

Even though she’d only managed it by shamelessly clinging to her, acting spoiled and pitiful.

Still, lying in bed with Lin Yang while fully awake made Xu Zhitong a little nervous.

She turned her head and watched as Lin Yang replied to a few messages, then set her phone aside, switched off the bedside lamp, and lay down too.

The blackout curtains in the guest bedroom worked very well. Lin Yang liked sleeping in complete darkness and had pulled them tightly shut, so the room was utterly black.

After the lamp went out, Xu Zhitong took quite a while to adjust to the dark.

She could barely make out Lin Yang’s calm outline.

She was lying with her back to her, apparently hugging a pillow. It was a very comfortable sleeping posture.

Maybe because she was too tense or too excited, her thoughts scattered, and she kept staring at even Lin Yang’s back for a long time in the darkness.

She was annoyed with herself. Why couldn’t she sleep like some bumbling rookie?

Last night at the hot spring club, maybe because they’d made a commotion in the bath and then she’d carried Lin Yang off to shower and change into sleepwear before showering herself.

After only looking at Lin Yang’s sleeping face for a little while, she’d fallen into a deep sleep too.

Who would have thought that today, lying naturally in bed with her wife like a proper married couple, she’d suddenly be unable to sleep?

Lin Yang seemed genuinely ready to sleep; even her breathing was very light.

Xu Zhitong had originally been trying hard to match it, slowing her own breathing down.

But Lin Yang, lying on her side, had long strands of hair scattered across the pillow, and some of them brushed against Xu Zhitong’s side as well.

Xu Zhitong only had to lower her head slightly to catch the scent of Lin Yang’s hair.

She couldn’t help it; she leaned in and sniffed.

So fragrant. The whole pillow, the whole bed, was filled with a unique Lin Yang scent that was different from the one she usually carried.

It surrounded her from every angle.

Could sleeping Lin Yang give off a different body scent?

Xu Zhitong, who didn’t know that Lin Yang had a special scent reserved for bedtime, felt a little dazed.

Even her breathing rhythm was thrown off.

Lin Yang still remembered how, this morning, she’d woken up in Xu Zhitong’s arms and had been watching what Xu Zhitong’s breathing looked like when she slept.

Rubbing the pillow in her arms, Lin Yang lay quietly facing the outer side of the bed for a while.

When she heard that Xu Zhitong still didn’t seem asleep, she turned her head slightly and asked, “Can’t sleep?”

Her voice sounded in the quiet room, and Xu Zhitong, who had been trying very hard to control her breathing, startled and missed a beat.

“Just a little, just a little bit,” Xu Zhitong said softly. “Did my breathing bother you? Don’t kick me out.”

“I won’t kick you out.”

Lin Yang asked, “Do you want an eye mask? Having something over your eyes can make it easier to fall asleep.”

Xu Zhitong obediently said, “Oh, then I want one.”

Lin Yang handed her the eye mask beside her.

She had two eye masks and replaced them regularly, but both had signs of wear.

Xu Zhitong took the soft silk eye mask in the dark. The moment she brought it near her face, she caught another scent on it.

It was the fragrance of Lin Yang’s usual skincare products.

Luxury skincare always had a very distinctive scent: faint, pleasant, vaguely floral, and soothing.

Xu Zhitong nearly put it right under her nose.

Lin Yang’s night vision was pretty good. “...Where are you putting that?”

Xu Zhitong played dumb. “It’s too dark. I can’t see.”

Since Lin Yang had asked, she naturally took a sniff and felt that this was probably the scent of Lin Yang’s face too; it was fragrant as well.

After she put on the eye mask, the world became completely dark.

There was a slight pressure over her eyelids. For some people, that increased the comfort and sense of security that helped them fall asleep.

But for Xu Zhitong, it made Lin Yang’s presence feel less clear, especially since Lin Yang’s breathing was so light.

After a while, Xu Zhitong asked in a small voice, “Are you still there?”

Lin Yang gave a soft “Mm.” “I’m here.”

A little later.

Xu Zhitong rustled around and turned over, asking in a soft voice, “I can’t see you... can I hold your hand while I sleep?”

Lin Yang seemed to hesitate for a brief moment.

Then she turned over too and faced Xu Zhitong, reaching out to take her hand.

Their hands rested quietly together.

Without sight, touch became especially vivid.

Lin Yang’s hand was fragrant too, and smooth.

Xu Zhitong held her hand, feeling reassured. She couldn’t help rubbing her palm and squeezing her fingers.

“Yangyang, your hands are so small.”

Lin Yang found that a little funny and deliberately teased her. “Pervert. That’s the kind of line you use to trick girls into holding hands.”

Xu Zhitong was surprised. “Ah, really? I didn’t know.”

“Yeah. When things are still ambiguous and you want to hold a girl’s hand, you say something like this.”

Lying beside her, with Xu Zhitong’s eye mask on and looking soft and helpless, Lin Yang somehow felt a little wicked.

She deliberately let the rounded tips of her fingers hook into Xu Zhitong’s palm, inch by inch, from below to above, saying in a teasing, slightly intimate way, “Your hands are so small and so white. We can compare the size of our palms. You smell so good; can I smell you? You’re so cute, I’ll just hug you and not do anything else.”

Lin Yang’s voice, lowered in the dark, was very seductive.

The autumn bedding was still fairly thin, but Xu Zhitong still felt a little short of breath. She burrowed deeper under it, her face hot and her heart racing.

She gave an “Oh.”

Then asked in a small voice, “Really nothing else?”

She even sounded a little expectant, strangely enough.

Lin Yang gave a soft huff; hearing the implication, she couldn’t be bothered to play along and said, “Are you going to sleep or not?”

Very fierce.

Xu Zhitong went limp and pretended to be an innocent little girl. “You started teasing me first.”

Lin Yang: “...Wasn’t I just explaining the joke?”

Xu Zhitong: “Fine then, will you sing me a lullaby?”

Lin Yang: “You want me to soothe you to sleep after sleeping in my bed?”

Xu Zhitong sounded aggrieved. “Fine, then I’ll be good and sleep.”

She really was very obedient, not even gripping Lin Yang’s fingers hard while they held hands.

At first, she only rubbed Lin Yang’s palm a few times, as if confirming her temperature and presence.

After that, she rested her hand against Lin Yang’s palm and stayed still.

The air and warmth flowed quietly between them.

Lin Yang almost thought Xu Zhitong had fallen asleep already.

Then she suddenly heard the person beside her ask softly, “Did you put on the medicine?”

Lin Yang: “...”

She didn’t say anything at all and didn’t want to answer.

Xu Zhitong kept muttering to herself. “How many days does it take to heal? Do I need to change the medicine every few days? Tomorrow morning I can help you put it on.”

Lin Yang made to pull her hand back. “Do you want to sleep on the sofa?”

Xu Zhitong said, “Good night.”

-

Even Lin Yang’s excuse for applying medicine didn’t last more than a few days.

On the morning of the third day, the two of them were having breakfast at the table when Lin Yang said, “I need to go out today and meet up with the senior and the others. Play by yourself at home and film a vlog, okay?”

A new product had run into a minor snag at the last minute. They’d been busy for several days, and if they wanted to get the MVP out as early as possible, they might have to take a shortcut.

The most convenient option was the Chu family’s medical empire, but Chu Ling was working with them precisely because she didn’t want to rely on the Chu family. So they still had to meet her offline and talk it through; otherwise, every time this topic came up, Chu Ling would hang up directly.

They’d made an appointment for several days later and finally managed to arrange a suitable time to get together at Chu Ling’s private residence. The few of them also hadn’t seen each other for a long time; they could eat, chat, and talk about the things that couldn’t be settled online.

Xu Zhitong swallowed a mouthful of milk.

She blinked, then looked at her hopefully. “You’re not taking me?”

Lin Yang pressed her lips together. “We’re talking business. None of them are bringing family, so taking you would probably be inconvenient. There’s not much to do there anyway; you’d be bored if you went.”

Xu Zhitong couldn’t help pouting.

She was a little unhappy. “But in my memory, I’ve never met those friends of yours. I don’t even know what they look like.”

Lin Yang stroked her hand and coaxed her. “Next time. Next time I’ll call them over and we can all have a meal together, okay?”

If they all got together, a few words would definitely give them away. None of them knew she was dating the amnesiac Xu Zhitong...

Dating.

Chu Ling was smart as hell, and a little wicked in a vaguely irritating way. Yan Ci was just a total dummy.

Everyone in that group had been romantically unattached from the very beginning; if she brought her girlfriend along directly, she’d become the target of everyone’s scrutiny.

Not to mention that Chu Ling “didn’t care for” Xu Zhitong.

When they were choosing the location, Chu Ling had even said her private residence was pet-friendly.

—That would make things even worse.

The senior was actually a pretty good person, but she was always terrible with this kind of thing.

Lin Yang absolutely did not believe she and Xu Zhitong could withstand Chu Ling’s judgment.

So she could only leave Xu Zhitong at home.

Besides, Xu Zhitong had things to do too. Yesterday they had filmed a vlog at home that included promotional content, and when Lin Yang was editing it, she found several reflected shots where the trick had been exposed—there was Lin Yang’s figure in them. Xu Zhitong would have to reshoot a few scenes.

Xu Zhitong puffed out her cheeks.

Actually, she understood.

After all, ever since she was little, she’d been used to her mothers having to leave her behind because of work.

Xu Zhitong had almost been to every daycare in Jiangshi.

On a rational level, she understood this objective fact.

Because that was the kind of family her mothers were.

They loved Xu Zhitong, and they loved each other deeply too, but their careers also occupied an important, indispensable part of their lives; and they both understood and supported each other.

After so many years, even though Xu Zhitong did have quite a few complaints and resentments about being raised more or less free-range.

Still, she had also been subtly taught that this was a normal and healthy way to live.

Her mother and mommy loved each other; they both worked hard for the future, earning money for their little home and raising her.

As she grew older, the daycare they sent her to became better and better, and the nannies and hourly helpers got more and more expensive.

Even though they spent little time at home, whenever they returned from a business trip, they would bring her souvenirs and airport chocolates from all kinds of countries and cities; and no matter how late it was, they would still come to her room and kiss her on the cheek.

Carrying the cold dew of the night on their bodies, they would kiss awake Xu Zhitong, whose face was warm from sleep, and insist she kiss them back a few times before saying goodnight, good girl.

When they were all at home together, her mothers would happily maintain the married life most people had, and she was a very happy only child.

When she was in middle school and occasionally had doubts about family life, Xu Zhitong once asked her mothers whether long separations didn’t make them miss each other.

Her mother said that of course they missed each other, but a healthy relationship and marriage also required maintaining a certain distance and respecting each other’s individuality, including their careers.

Back then, Xu Zhitong hadn’t really understood. Now she was still a little lost.

With the memory of a seventeen-year-old, she still didn’t have a complete understanding of romance.

She thought that at this moment, she felt disappointed because Lin Yang was going out to “work” and couldn’t take her along.

Maybe it was because she still hadn’t reached the kind of healthy love her mothers talked about, and in matters of the heart she still wasn’t enlightened enough.

Compared with her mothers, Lin Yang was already doing better.

Lin Yang didn’t even have a full-time job outside; during this period since the memory loss, she’d been working online at home, and she’d hardly been to the coffee shop at all.

Thinking it over for a while, Xu Zhitong said, “Okay.”

Maybe she really did need to ask her mothers for advice again.

Lin Yang took a sip of coffee and clearly saw the disappointment on Xu Zhitong’s face.

She knew what Xu Zhitong was disappointed about.

This kind of thing, making Xu Zhitong stay home alone because of work, wasn’t all that different from Xu Zhitong’s childhood experiences of being sent to daycare by the aunties or left at home, or from her own mother, Madam Lin.

But she couldn’t handle these things properly at the moment.

If she were in a normal relationship with Xu Zhitong, she probably would have already told her friends and family, and entered each other’s social circles.

Chu Ling and the others would have had to accept it even if they didn’t want to; bringing Xu Zhitong along to a small gathering of three people wouldn’t be anything unusual.

Love should be... maybe it had to be two people being indispensable to each other, always together.

Lin Yang’s heart sank a little, and guilt welled up.

She said, “It’s my fault. What do you want as compensation?”

Pick out a few gifts for Xu Zhitong? ...Good heavens, how was that any different from Madam Lin?

Take Xu Zhitong on a date after the gathering? Or clear out her shopping cart? Did Xu Zhitong want anything?

Lin Yang was thinking randomly when she heard Xu Zhitong say timidly, “Then... are you still uncomfortable?”

“...Hm?”

Lin Yang looked up in confusion, only to find Xu Zhitong staring at her with burning eyes.

After a single dazed moment, Lin Yang understood what Xu Zhitong meant.

This was the breakfast table on a bright morning.

A very modern-looking wall clock showed 9:15.

In front of her was an empty plate.

These past few days, Xu Zhitong had been bored at home and had started studying cooking. She’d bought a rice noodle roll machine and carefully made Lin Yang a love-filled plate of cheung fun; it tasted excellent, and there was still half a piece left on the plate.

The dark wooden dining table was covered with a green floral lace tablecloth, and a vase at the end held a bouquet of beautiful fresh lilies.

At such a fragrant breakfast table, Xu Zhitong was asking her—asking her...

Lin Yang only wanted to pretend she hadn’t heard wrong. She pressed her lips together, shame and guilt circling in her heart, and in the end she couldn’t avoid answering. “...More or less.”

Oh!

Xu Zhitong asked again, “Then what time are you leaving?”

Lin Yang glanced at the clock. “Around 10:30.”

Xu Zhitong: “Ah, that early?”

Lin Yang: “Mm, her private residence is a bit far from the city center.”

Xu Zhitong: “Okay.”

She didn’t say anything else, as if she had only been asking casually.

Then tonight she could...

Just thinking about it made Lin Yang’s ears a little hot.

She finished the last piece of cheung fun. It looked, smelled, and tasted wonderful; Xu Zhitong really had a gift for cooking.

Because she didn’t know how to tell Xu Zhitong about this, Lin Yang dragged it out until breakfast was almost over before finally saying something.

She set down her coffee cup and watched Xu Zhitong take the last sip of milk as well, licking the milk from the corner of her lips.

Sometimes the way Xu Zhitong moved and spoke had a kind of animal instinct to it—direct and pure.

Today she wasn’t planning to go out, and she didn’t need to livestream at night either. Her original plan was to reshoot a few clips without showing her face, then play games with Lin Yang.

So she was wearing comfortable plaid loungewear, with her hair tied up with a headband, exposing her delicate brows and eyes.

Xu Zhitong walked over and, very naturally, bent down and lifted Lin Yang straight up around the waist.

Caught off guard, Lin Yang was hoisted into the air and set lightly onto the edge of the dining table on the other side, where there were no objects in the way.

Before Lin Yang could even gasp, she was too flustered to cover her mouth anymore.

She scrambled to press down the hem of her skirt.

Lin Yang was still wearing a nightgown, with a robe over it. This was one of her self-deceptions born of avoidance, pretending she wasn’t going out.

But it ended up making things easier for Xu Zhitong instead.

The tie came undone with almost no effort, and the silk robe, light as air, was pulled aside; the nightgown barely even needed lifting.

Just as the fabric was about to be parted, Lin Yang’s ears turned bright red, and her hands kept trying to stop her. “Xu Zhitong!! Not here.”

Xu Zhitong thought she’d already been given permission. She looked at Lin Yang once, caught her wrists, and pinned them to the other side. “I want it here.”

Lin Yang wanted to kick her so badly, but her hands were held, and if she lifted her legs she’d lose her balance.

She said urgently, “This is where we eat.”

“Yeah, I’m eating,” Xu Zhitong said. “I want this as my compensation.”

Lin Yang’s face was about to burn through. Her lips trembled, and she nearly started stammering. “Can we go back to the room? Let’s go back to the room.”

At times like this, Xu Zhitong was stubborn to the core.

She looked at Lin Yang’s flushed, beautiful face for a while, then muttered, “Just here.”

She let go of Lin Yang’s hands, then bent down to open the tightly shut gate, easily parting everything there before lowering her head.

Lin Yang’s hands trembled as they tried to stop her, sliding over Xu Zhitong’s brows and hair, but still failing to push her away. In the end, one hand braced against the table, clutching the carefully chosen pretty tablecloth, while the other covered her mouth with trembling fingers.

The entire tablecloth ended up thrown into the washing machine.

The vase was almost knocked over too, and two pristine petals were shaken loose from the lilies. Lin Yang snatched them up and threw them at Xu Zhitong’s face.

“You’re so violent,” Xu Zhitong criticized her.

She licked the corner of her lips and picked the petals off her face.

As she spoke, she looked at Lin Yang with bright, clear eyes. She seemed innocent and straightforward, but because of her glistening lips and chin, it only made her look even more indecent.

Lin Yang was still lifting her neck, trying to steady her breathing.

Xu Zhitong lowered her gaze to look at the messy battlefield, then turned to go into the bedroom first and take out baby wipes. Bending over, she carefully wiped everything clean, and only then went to wash her hands.

Lin Yang’s inner layer couldn’t even be worn anymore; at first it had merely been pushed aside, but later, probably because it would have been constricting, Xu Zhitong had yanked it off and tossed it underfoot, leaving a complete mess.

Without it, Lin Yang didn’t quite adjust to the emptiness. She let her skirt fall back down, but her face was still so hot it felt like it might burn.

On the dining table... that was too much.

Lin Yang did not want to say another single word to Xu Zhitong.

TL Note:

cheung fun (肠粉) is a Cantonese rice noodle roll