Kiss

Lin Yang froze.

Confused, she rubbed the top of Xu Zhitong’s head and asked, “Why would you think that?”

Was it because she and Yu Yaojiao had added each other on WeChat? Or had Yu Yaojiao said something to Xu Zhitong?

Lin Yang thought it over carefully.

Xu Zhitong didn’t answer directly. Instead, she said, “When we went out to the hotel lobby just now, I felt uncomfortable.”

The hotel lobby? They had run into fans there.

Had it been something the fans said? But they’d been perfectly polite, and Xu Zhitong was used to answering those kinds of questions from livestreaming.

Or was it because she’d been filmed in public?

After losing her memory, Xu Zhitong was already lacking a sense of security. Maybe she simply wasn’t used to that kind of thing.

After thinking for a moment, Lin Yang said softly, “If you don’t like it, you can say so next time. They’ll all understand.”

Xu Zhitong hurriedly said, “No…”

The words had been turning over in her heart for most of the night. Now that they were finally on her lips, she didn’t know where to begin.

She bit her lip, then shifted back a little and let go of Lin Yang’s waist, only to catch her wrist instead and tug her down.

Lin Yang was pulled into a slight lean, meeting Xu Zhitong’s eyes.

Her long hair fell with her, brushing lightly across Xu Zhitong’s cheek, carrying that familiar fragrance.

Xu Zhitong felt somewhat comforted by it.

After a pause, she said, “While we were eating just now, I kept thinking about it. I don’t like this. I don’t want to try the entertainment industry or anything like that the way you said... I don’t want to.”

Lin Yang said, “Then don’t try it. It’s fine, Xiaotong.”

Xu Zhitong tightened her grip on Lin Yang’s wrist.

She swallowed and said, “Because... I don’t like it when you have to stand so far away from me. I don’t like it when you have to cover your face.”

...Hm?

Lin Yang suddenly froze. Her lips parted slightly, and she let out a sound that made it clear she hadn’t fully understood.

For a moment, she almost thought, in disbelief, that Xu Zhitong seemed to be feeling wronged on her behalf.

But this was a very normal thing.

Over the years, Lin Yang had long since chosen this path and accepted it, even grown used to it. Keeping a low profile, staying quiet, not exposing too much, not showing clear preferences—all of that made her feel safe.

Lin Yang said, “It’s nothing.”

If Xu Zhitong really minded it, then they could just get photographed. She could have her assistant buy the photos and videos and take the posts down from every platform; it would just cost a little more money.

Anyway, the goal was only to avoid exposing anything in front of her mother. As for her younger sister, she already had leverage in Lin Yang’s hands; she probably wouldn’t go out of her way to snitch again.

Only dim, warm light spilled from the closet.

Lin Yang, bent over in front of her, was backlit, and even though she was so close, her expression still wasn’t very clear.

The emptiness and longing in Xu Zhitong’s heart only grew stronger.

She lifted her face urgently and stared at Lin Yang, stubborn in a kind of innocent insistence. “It’s not like that.”

Lin Yang quietly let out a “Mm?”

Xu Zhitong said, “It shouldn’t be like this between us.”

They were lovers.

Once Xu Zhitong realized that she and Lin Yang were in love, she almost immediately understood her own view of relationships.

For her, feelings mattered more than anything else—more than career, more than work.

If she had to choose, she would never choose a glamorous job that forced her to keep her lover in the shadows, or a job that required constant separation from her lover.

Lin Yang must have known that. Their relationship was so close, and they loved each other; from school uniforms until now, all these years.

And yet after the amnesia, Lin Yang had never responded to her definition of their relationship, and had even tried to do things like push her away.

Why?

Could it really be, as Yu Yaojiao and the others said, that Lin Yang now had more choices?

But Xu Zhitong wasn’t letting go, either.

She ground her teeth lightly in secret.

She still wore that wounded, fragile expression, just like she always had when she used that trick on Lin Yang to get her way.

Softly, she said, “I don’t need a lot of people to like me. I only need your like.”

Her tone reached Lin Yang’s ears like something almost dreamlike.

Lin Yang looked at Xu Zhitong, silent for a long while.

Only then did she say, “Mm, I know.”

Her voice was light and airy, and Xu Zhitong immediately pressed, “Do you really know?”

Lin Yang almost smiled bitterly.

She said, “I know... you only need me to like you.”

Xu Zhitong gave a soft hum.

“You know that, and then what? Don’t you like me?”

Lin Yang didn’t know how the topic had turned into this.

Xu Zhitong’s thoughts were too erratic, her expression too pitiful, and her actions too forceful.

Lin Yang pressed her lips together. After a long while, she finally said, “I do.”

Xu Zhitong immediately brightened.

Her eyes shone as she looked at Lin Yang and asked, “Then what are we? Say it.”

Lin Yang: “...”

Xu Zhitong’s eyes widened a little more. “Could it be that you don’t want to date me, and you just want to keep me as a kept woman, be my sugar mama, play with me for a while, and then toss me aside?”

What kind of nonsense was that?

Lin Yang seemed to have been backed to the edge of a cliff. She said softly, “How could that be? That was all a joke.”

Xu Zhitong was satisfied. “Exactly. So before, we were in a relationship; it was obvious. I know I like you, and I know you like me.”

Her expression made it look as if she were already standing at a wedding venue, about to say I do.

She stared at Lin Yang intently and asked, “Lin Xiaoyang, what else do you have to argue?”

What else was there to argue?

Lin Yang had nothing to argue.

Xu Zhitong had already uncovered everything Lin Yang had hidden all these years. Her alt account, her concern, her feelings.

Xu Zhitong waited for a while, but Lin Yang still didn’t confess.

It was fine; she understood. Lin Yang was used to being more reserved.

Xu Zhitong decided to take the initiative.

She lowered the hand she had wrapped around Lin Yang’s, sliding it down to her palm, and slowly interlaced their fingers.

No matter what she had done before losing her memory, no matter what conflict she and Lin Yang had gotten into...

Xu Zhitong stood up and faced her.

Her voice lowered too as she asked, “Then... would you be willing to get back together with me?”

“...”

Xu Zhitong watched Lin Yang’s eyes redden again, shimmering with tears under the dim light.

She froze for a moment. “Y-you’re crying again?”

Was her confession an onion?

Almost on instinct, Xu Zhitong stepped forward, sniffled too, and faced Lin Yang head-on, leaning in close until their foreheads were nearly touching.

“Don’t cry. Was I really very mean to you before I lost my memory? Did I make you suffer a lot? Tell me, and I’ll beat her up.”

Lin Yang said, “No... no suffering, I just... I just feel very touched.”

Xu Zhitong said, “Did I really turn into a bad person before?”

Her troubled look nearly made Lin Yang laugh.

Lin Yang said, “No, you’re not bad. You’ve always been very good.”

Xu Zhitong then said, “Mm, I knew it. You’ve always liked me a lot.”

Holding Lin Yang’s hand, she felt it was enough and asked, “So, are we together now?”

“...” Lin Yang lowered her gaze and said, “Xiaotong, you’ll regret it.”

Xu Zhitong answered immediately, “I absolutely won’t regret it.”

If she really had to stay far away from Lin Yang, that was when she would regret it; she would regret it for the rest of her life.

She lowered her head and leaned in even closer, their breaths almost mingling. Very lightly, very intimately, she brushed the tip of her nose against Lin Yang’s.

Xu Zhitong whispered as if telling her a secret, “See? We’re the kind of people who can be this close and still like each other a lot.”

Her eyes curved with delight.

In the dim room, they were bright and scorching.

Lin Yang’s heart trembled. Feeling the itchy brush of skin against skin, she thought desperately that maybe Xu Zhitong didn’t really know what a relationship was.

After all, Xu Zhitong’s memory only went back to age seventeen right now, and she’d never been in a relationship at all... she probably didn’t know.

Maybe the overlap of her subconscious and her remembered habits of closeness had given her some misconception.

From Xu Zhitong’s point of view, perhaps the intimacy she understood was basically the same as how they’d interacted when they were best friends, at most, at most...

Lin Yang was silent for a long time before giving a low “Mm.”

Xu Zhitong’s eyes lit up even more.

Her heart was beating fast and hot in her chest.

She couldn’t help taking a couple of steps closer to Lin Yang; the suite’s walk-in closet wasn’t big to begin with, and those two steps were enough to press Lin Yang back against the glass door of the wardrobe.

Xu Zhitong did not let go of the hand their fingers were interlaced in. To be honest, she wanted to, because her palm seemed a little damp, but she truly couldn’t bear to.

First, she made sure there were no tears left in Lin Yang’s eyes.

Good.

Those brief tears from just now seemed to have draped a layer of beautiful crystal over Lin Yang’s eyes; her lashes trembled lightly, like startled, beautiful butterflies.

Xu Zhitong’s tenderness nearly overflowed. She tilted her head and gently kissed Lin Yang’s eyelid.

The fluttering lashes tickled her lips.

Xu Zhitong slowly lowered her head and asked, “Can I?”

Lin Yang didn’t say yes, and she didn’t say no. She closed her eyes, and then Xu Zhitong’s kiss touched her lips like a prayer for a miracle.

The room was dim; with her eyes closed, it felt like the middle of the night. Her back was pressed against the hard glass wardrobe door, her hands held tightly in Xu Zhitong’s, as if her whole world had narrowed to the person in front of her and those two hands.

Lips against lips, carrying Xu Zhitong’s warm body heat and her eager scent.

Lin Yang wanted to cry again.

She lifted her face slightly, and Xu Zhitong seemed to take that as a better angle for kissing. So Xu Zhitong suddenly opened her mouth, the tip of her tongue reaching out to lick Lin Yang’s lower lip, very lightly and with some uncertainty.

Sweet, sugary, soft; soft as cotton.

Xu Zhitong’s tongue was even hotter than Lin Yang’s lips.

As if exploring something entirely new, Xu Zhitong suckled Lin Yang’s lips little by little, her movements especially gentle, yet carrying a clearly possessive edge.

After kissing over every inch she could reach, Lin Yang still didn’t open her mouth; Xu Zhitong gave an unhappy little hum through her nose and lightly bit Lin Yang’s lower lip.

Lin Yang also couldn’t quite tell whether Xu Zhitong had gone off to learn kissing techniques, or whether she hadn’t.

When Xu Zhitong’s tongue ventured inside, it seemed a little stiff; she even licked the roof of Lin Yang’s mouth first. It was ticklish. Lin Yang turned her head away instinctively to dodge, and then Xu Zhitong cupped her cheek.

With a kind of reckless initiative, Xu Zhitong quickly tangled herself with Lin Yang’s tongue. At first, the kiss was still like a little animal rubbing and nuzzling, so pure it was as if they’d only ever need to touch like this for the rest of their lives.

But within a few minutes, it turned into a wet, heavy kiss. Xu Zhitong’s kiss was gentle, but also forceful, as if she wanted to suck away all of Lin Yang’s tears.

Lin Yang’s mind was muddled and hazy; her face was also burning hot. At some point, her free hand had climbed onto Xu Zhitong’s shoulder. Their lips and tongues tangled together, and she seemed to hear Xu Zhitong murmur a muffled “like,” quickly swallowed up along with something else.

If only a comet would smash into Earth right now.

If the world could just be destroyed, then all the bad things could be left behind. The last thing she would ever need to do in her life would be to kiss Xu Zhitong in this tiny walk-in closet.